CHAPTER FOUR
It was two weeks later that everything in my life came to a head and finally began to go in the direction I wanted. It all started with detention. I was in one of my customary foul moods after a fight with my Dad the minute I got out of bed and then a fight with Melissa in the lunch break.
Right after I realised I wanted Jacob more than Melissa and that my feelings weren't going to change, I intended to break up with her, but I didn't see her over the following weekend because she was away visiting with her family and then for the next few days I only saw her at school and I would rather have talked to her in a slightly more private environment. It was rarely just the two of us at school, but almost always the whole gang. I didn't want to break up with her over the phone either, that was just cowardly. Consequently I got more and more tense and ended up fighting with her for nothing more than her asking me to take her to see some lame chick's movie which I had no intention of doing. The bell rang and interrupted our bickering and I stormed off to my English class, quickly earning myself an after school detention by talking back to the teacher twice during the lesson.
It was Friday, the day every kid hates to get after school detentions and after the final lesson of the day - history, which hadn't done much to improve my mood - I slouched off to the theatre where they usually held detentions, wondering if I would be stuck on my own or if there would be other kids in there that I could glare at or take my temper out on if the tutor stepped outside for a few minutes.
I climbed up to the back row of seats and threw myself onto one of them, dropping my backpack on the floor beside me. Then I straightened up again, shrugged my leather jacket off and wrenched my tie loose. I was so hot; they must have cranked the heating up or something.
"Mr Lahote, do you have homework to be getting on with?" Mr Stanley asked sternly as he looked up from the newspaper he was reading. He was sitting on a chair in front of the stage, one leg crossed over the other.
"Yes, Sir," I grunted, dragging my history book out of my bag. Might as well get the worst one out of the way if I had to sit here and work.
"Good; be silent while you're at it."
"Not like there's anyone to talk to," I muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, Sir." I opened the book and scowled at a chapter on World War II. What the hell use were the details of Germany's invasion of Poland going to be to me in the future?
The door to the theatre swung open, presumably to admit another criminal. I didn't bother to look up, even as footsteps mounted the steps towards the back of the theatre.
"You're late, Mr Black," old Stanley said severely.
"Sorry, Sir."
I jerked my head up in surprise as Jacob took a seat on the row in front of me, a couple of places to my right. My bad mood vanished in an instant and I lowered my head again and smiled at Hitler's photograph. After another minute I raised my eyes and glanced first at Mr Stanley. He was hidden behind his newspaper and taking no notice of either of us. It became clear there was no one else for the detention session and I looked down at Jacob again. As usual he had his shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows, his hair pulled back into a ponytail. He rested his head on one hand as he studied a text book and I noticed a leather thong tied around his wrist.
I took in every little detail - the colour of his skin in stark contrast to the white shirt; fine dark hairs on the back of his arm; the shape of his cheekbone and jaw as he dropped his hand away from his face and turned a page of his book. A loose strand of hair fell into his face and he tucked it behind his ear. I wondered if he could feel my eyes on him and found myself willing him to turn around and look at me. He didn't and I made an effort to look at the history chapter again, but I knew I wasn't going to take in a single word. My heart was thumping with nervous excitement and I longed for the end of detention so I could try talking to him.
The theatre door opened once more to admit my geography teacher.
"Sorry, Bernard, the Head wants to see us all for ten minutes," he said.
Mr Stanley put his paper down and shoved his spectacles up his nose, then got to his feet.
"You two - no talking, no moving, no fooling around. I'll be back in ten." He left the theatre and the door closed behind him.
I snorted quietly and immediately Jacob turned to look at me. At last!
"Hey," I said, trying to calm myself down. "What are you in for?"
"Forgetting my Math homework for the second time this week," he said with a grimace. "You?"
"Talking back to my English teacher. I'll get it in the neck when I get home too, when my Dad finds out."
"My Dad's not expecting me until later and he's pretty easy going," Jacob said.
I couldn't quite believe my luck; he seemed to not mind talking to me.
"Is it just you and your Dad?" I prompted.
"Yeah."
"Me too," I said. "Mom left when I was eight; they got divorced. What about you?"
"My Mom was killed in a car wreck when I was nine," Jacob said, turning away a little again.
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry," I groaned.
"It's ok."
"That must have been really tough though," I said.
"Yeah, but me and my Dad are real close now. Do you ever see your Mom?" he asked, turning to look at me again.
"No, she moved out of state with some other guy. Dad would never let me see her," I told him.
"What about what you want?"
"What anybody else wants doesn't figure in my Dad's world," I said wrily and decided to change the subject. "So what do you normally do on Friday nights?"
"What do you mean?"
"You said your Dad wouldn't be expecting you yet," I reminded him.
"Oh...yeah. Usually I hang out with Embry and Quil for a few hours. We go down to the beach mostly, but it's getting pretty cold for that now."
"Guess it wouldn't be today," I said. "I'd love to go swimming right now, it's way too hot in here."
"You're hot? Are you sick with something?" Jacob said, his eyebrows rising slightly.
"No, it just feels like a sauna in here."
"It's just the usual temperature."
Maybe it was. Maybe I was just hot because he was sitting five feet away and actually talking to me. My mouth suddenly felt dry too and in the absence of anything to drink, I pulled a pack of gum out of my pocket and unwrapped a strip.
"Do you want some of this?" I offered.
"Ok. Thanks."
I shoved the gum into my mouth, plucked another strip from the pack and leaned over to put it into his outstretched hand. My fingers touched his palm for a fraction of a second before I pulled back.
"Woah, you are hot," he said. "Are you sure you're not coming down with something?"
"I don't think so."
The theatre door opened and Jacob turned back to his desk quickly as Mr Stanley came back in, eyeing us suspiciously before he went back to his newspaper. I glanced at my wristwatch. Still over forty minutes to go. I sighed heavily, blew my gum out as far as it would go and made it pop loudly. Jacob sniggered.
"Silence!" Stanley's voice came from behind the newspaper and it was my turn to stifle a laugh. The newspaper lowered slowly. "If I hear either of you so much as breathe in the next...forty-one minutes, you'll be back here every night next week. Are we clear?"
"Yes, Sir," Jacob said.
I merely nodded and chewed my lip, staring at the back of him and allowing myself to slip into a daydream. The school buses were long gone, which meant both of us would have to catch the town bus back to La Push. That would give me an extra hour to talk to him. I carried on watching him, imagining myself shifting to the seat next to him, leaning over to kiss his ear, pulling him closer to me. His face seemed to have a little more colour in it than before and I wondered if he sensed the way I was looking at him.
Somehow the remainder of the detention period passed fairly painlessly and Stanley folded his paper and suggested we leave quietly and do our best to avoid being in his company after school again. I put my jacket on out of habit - I was still too hot - and hooked my backpack over one shoulder as we walked out of the school grounds. Jacob didn't seem inclined to escape my company and now pulled a sweatshirt with a hood out of his bag and put it on. The town bus stop was about three blocks up the street and we walked there quickly, only to find there was a fifteen minute wait for the next bus.
"I can't wait to get my drivers' permit," I said. "No more buses! If I can ever afford a car."
"When are you sixteen?" Jacob asked.
"January seventh."
"Mine's the fourteenth."
"No kidding!"
At that moment my cellphone rang and I pulled it out of my pants pocket, thinking my Dad was probably hunting me down. It was Melissa. Shit. I didn't want to talk to her after our fight earlier and I didn't want my time with Jacob interrupting either. I pressed the 'reject' button, deciding I would see her in person the next day and finish it. I switched the phone off then and shoved it back into my pocket. When I looked back at Jacob he was leaning against the post with the bus stop sign on it, his arms wrapped around himself as if he were cold.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"Yeah, just cold."
"Here." I shrugged my jacket off without a second thought. I was still hot enough to be sweating. "Put this on." I held it out to him.
"No, I'm fine, really, there's no point you freezing too."
"I'm still too hot, I was going to take it off anyway."
"Ok." He took the jacket and pulled it on. "Thank you. You know, if your friends pass by they're not going to be too impressed to see you talking to me."
"The hell with them," I said and meant it. I was doing what I really wanted to do for the first time in weeks. "Let them think what they like."
"You don't want to piss that bunch of knuckleheads off if you can avoid it," Jacob said.
"Maybe it's them that should try not to piss me off." I thought of my astonishing episode with the two hundred pound weights and figured that if Tom and the others had a problem with me talking to Jacob, I could handle them. They didn't seem so big and strong any more.
"I am really sorry about what happened on my first day here," I went on.
"You already said that," Jacob reminded me.
"I know, but I was a total jerk. Jared warned me about those guys and I ignored him."
"I guess you redeemed yourself a little bit." He indicated the jacket and I smiled at him.
We chatted for a few more minutes until the bus came and then climbed aboard. It was half full, but the long back seat was empty and we made our way down there. Jacob sat in the right hand corner by the window and I took the next place. The usually long and slow bus ride passed by remarkably quickly for once. We talked more or less none stop for the entire hour about all manner of things. I just avoided the subject of my friends and Melissa and luckily he didn't ask anything about them. I was disappointed when the bus pulled up outside the gas station and we had to get off. I had enjoyed the past couple of hours more than anything I'd done since I moved to La Push.
"Where do you live?" I asked as the bus took off and left us.
"About a half mile that way," Jacob said, pointing. "I guess I better give you your jacket back." He dropped his backpack on the ground to take the jacket off.
"Keep it on, or you'll freeze walking home," I said. "I'll just walk that way with you and then you can give me it back."
"That's nuts, you live in the other direction," Jacob said, grabbing his bag again and setting off none the less.
"You know where I live?" I said in surprise as I caught him up.
"Yeah. Everybody knows everything that goes on here, just about. My Dad makes it his business to know."
It took us another ten minutes to reach his house; another ten minutes that I could talk to him and look at him and listen to his voice. I dreaded the moment when I would have to walk away and go home.
"This is my house," he said suddenly, halting at the end of a short driveway. A large truck took up most of the parking area. He slid his arms out of my jacket and handed it to me. "Thanks," he added.
"What are you doing over the weekend?" I asked, wondering if I could find some way to see him again before Monday.
"I'm going into Forks tomorrow with my Dad," he said. "One of his best friends is the chief of police, Charlie Swan. They spend some time together as often as they can and Charlie's daughter moved here a few weeks ago from Phoenix. I used to know her when we were kids so we're going to catch up."
"Old flame?" I said. I couldn't help myself. It was a stupid thing to say.
"Hardly, I haven't seen her since before my Mom died. Anyway, I'm gay; don't you listen to anything your friends tell you?"
I grinned now. "I wondered if that kiss on the beach was just an experiment."
"It was, but it kind of told me what I already thought I knew."
Hell, if there was ever the right moment to kiss him again, that was it. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself if my life depended on it. I lifted my hand and rested it on his neck, sliding my fingers under his hair. His skin felt much cooler than mine. I leaned closer and noticed his eyes lowered slowly, his lips parting a second before mine touched them. My heart lurched as I caressed his lips gently with mine and I held my breath, wanting time to stop so I could go on and on kissing him.
It could only have been seconds before he put his hand on my chest and pushed me away, his eyes still lowered.
"Don't," he said softly. "I'm not doing this with you."
My hand was still on his neck and I moved it to his chin, making him raise his head and look at me. His eyes were sad as they met mine.
"Tell me if I'm wrong, but it seems like you want to," I said.
"You have a girlfriend," Jacob reminded me, taking a step backwards. "And friends who already hate me; they'll turn on you too if they find out."
"Let them," I said. "Look, I'm going to deal with all of them. I know you probably don't trust me, but give me a chance to prove to you that I'm not fooling around." I moved closer to him again, dying to touch him, but restraining myself with difficulty. "I hardly even know you, Jacob, but I care more about what you think of me than anyone else." I brushed my lips against his cheek. "I'll see you Monday." I turned away and walked off in the direction of home, a smile on my face which refused to be wiped off. I knew Jacob was watching me leave; I could feel his eyes on me and it sent a shiver down my spine. Finally I had made up my mind to do what I really wanted and stop being such a jerk.