Chapter 13 - Someone (Posted 17 November 2011)

"Ethan!" A French accent called out before someone bumped into him and pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you!"

"Huh?" Ethan didn't remembering doing anything for him. "What are you thanking me for, Raoul?" he asked when he was released.

"Benny! He called me last night. He said you told him you think I like him, and then he told me he likes me too!"

"Oh. That's... great, Raoul."

Raoul smiled. "I just... I have to ask you something..."

"Ask away."

"Are you okay with me going out with him?"

"...What?"

"I'm not asking your permission..." Raoul clarified. "I just... I know he's trying to get over his feelings for you, and I'd like to help him with that... because I really like him, Ethan. I just want to make sure that... you're okay with it."

Ethan nodded. "Yeah. Of course I'm okay with it. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well... I thought... maybe, you had feelings for him. I know you guys are best friends, and I know you're with Sarah... but if you do have feelings for him, I want you to tell me now because I don't want to take him away from you. If he has a chance to be with you..."

"No." Ethan interrupted. "I mean... I don't... I don't feel that way about him."

Raoul furrowed his brow and frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. And... I want you to know that I'm not going to like, take him away from you. I know you're his best friend, and I'd never try to destroy that... I just want you to know that, okay?"

"Alright. Thanks..."

"But if you change your mind and decide later on that you do want him, I won't just step aside."

"I'm not going to change my mind, Raoul."

Roul nodded. "Okay. I just wanted to be sure, because I know it's going to be hard for him, but I think I can help him."

"I think so too."

"Thanks, Ethan."

X

"So," Ethan said when he saw Benny in class, "When are you and Raoul going out?"

"How do you know we're going out?"

"He told me."

"Oh." Benny nodded, feeling awkward.

"Are you excited?"

Benny shrugged. "I guess."

"You guess?"

"I'm nervous. I've never even considered going out with someone before. What do I do? What do I wear, and say... and..."

"Benny, you're gonna do fine." Ethan assured him. "Just act how you normally act. He likes you, remember? So he doesn't want you to be any different than you usually are."

"But what if I do something he hasn't seen yet and decides he doesn't like me anymore? I don't know if I could take that..."

Again, Ethan thought, feeling guilty. "You're making too big a deal out of this. He likes you, and you like him. You're already friends..."

"Exactly! What if I screw everything up? Then he won't even want to be my friend and it'll be even worse..."

"I'm sorry, Benny. I don't know what you want me to say, you're making me feel so guilty..."

"What? What do you have to feel guilty about?"

"I feel like I did this to you, like I'm the reason you have no confidence..."

Benny shook his head. "Man... don't... don't think that. It's not your fault. At all. I've always been like that."

"You've done a good job of hiding it."

"That was my intention. Look... I've never really been sure of myself, and I really have no reason to be... I always feel like the universe is out to get me, and the only thing keeping her from bringing me down is you. And now... I've finally realized that I'm not going to have you forever. I'm going to lose you, it's not just a possibility anymore. You're gonna fall in love with someone and decide to be with them for the rest of your life. Whether it's to Sarah or Erica or Della or anyone... it's not gonna be me. And I hate it because I want you to be happy, with or without me, but... it kills me to know you can be happy without me. Happier, even."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. You're not in love with me, that means that there's someone else out there who's going to be closer to you than I could ever be."

"But... that means you can have that too." Ethan argued. "You can go out and find someone that does love you and that you can be close to."

"You don't understand. Think about Sarah. How would you feel if she told you she only liked you as a friend? Wouldn't you be sad? Wouldn't you be infinitely jealous of the person she did love?"

Not really... "I guess..." Is that what love is supposed to feel like?

"So now do you understand? I can't just go out and fine someone. I want you, like you want Sarah. The only difference is you can have the one you want."

"I'm sorry..."

"No... I'm sorry." Benny suddenly looked embarrassed. "I didn't mean to say all that." He stood up, grabbing his stuff and hurrying out of the room.

"Benny?" the teacher asked, but got no response. He looked to Ethan, who just shrugged and looked away. Why was this so hard for him? He hated hurting Benny, but he just didn't feel that way. Raoul was way better for him anyway.