It felt like ages since Toichi had a shower. As he laid sated, sweaty and breathless. He had only awoken a few minutes ago with Haruki in his arms. A shower was the thing he desired second and first was more sex with Haruki. Toichi felt Haruki kiss his neck.

"Your gonna turn me into a nympho," joked Toichi," no wonder you ex's got dumped by just didn't have the stamina."

"Because they never satisfied me as much as you do," said Haruki and kissed Toichi.

"I'll never be able to have a shower if you keep doing this," said Toichi and then smiled," who knows, maybe that'll be a good thing."

Haruki playfully pushed Toichi away," Pe-ew ya have that shower stinky fag boy 'cause dammmmn you stink."

"Thats Captain fagboy to you," Toichi corrected and playfully punched Haruki.

Rolling out of bed Toichi was sore and slightly limped to get dressed. Every step he took he could feel Haruki's gaze on him. Toichi nervously began to bite the plates of his snake bites. Haruki had some too as well as a medusa but he never really saw him bit his plates. Toichi only did it when he was nervous, bored or deep in thought.

" Y' know you could of just left your room naked," suggested Haruki.

"Sorry but there are slight problems with that," said Toichi," One I can barely flash step, two if someone were occupying the bathroom they'd see me in my full glory and three, it'd be embarrassing if someone especially my sister saw me naked. She's young and it would scar her for life.i don't need her to see that."

"Wuss," commented Haruki.

Toichi shot a low concentrated cero at Haruki. Flinching at that Haruki responded with flipping the bird.

"Love you too," said Toichi as he walked out of the room.

With the door closed Toichi began to walk towards the bathroom. His body weighing heavily. He was tired and it took a lot of effort for him to even stay awake or move around. He appeared normal but inside Toichi was as weak as a kitten. Once he made it to the bathroom he had the door closed and moved to the tap. Turning on the water he closed put in a plug. Removing himself of his clothing. Taking a bath was so much more better. it relaxed his muscles more easier. Moving in he eased himself in as he felt the water level slowly rising. The water was near hot and it relaxed his muscles making a moan escape his lips.

"Oh God this feels so good," said Toichi.

The tub was hug and it was like a hot tub. Being able to fit two other people. There was a spot where he was able to sit and he like to sit there to relax. Sighing at his contentedness Toichi wet his hair and body and began to clean each one at a time. Toichi had gained a slight beard. Once he was done cleaning Toichi grabbed the razor not bothering with the cream for he was lazy. His face was wet so he made do and shaved of his beard. It was a small goatee. Sitting back down against the wall Toichi closed his eyes and on and off again he would realize he was falling asleep until he finally succumbed and fell asleep.

Haruki sat on Toichi bed reading Iliad. A book he didn't mind. It reminded him of his first bitch of a girlfriend only because she was Greek. He hated her but it wasn't going to stop him from reading this book. He enjoyed History and mythology. One fatal mistake wasn't going to turn him off things like said completely.

"He's been in the bathroom for a long time," Haruki whispered to himself.

Haruki had made it pretty far in the book. Placing the book on the bed Haruki moved towards the bathroom slowly opening the door. Only to see Toichi sleeping. Haruki only knew because Toichi snored quietly. Which Haruki thought was cute. now smiling Haruki closed the door and began to strip free of his clothing. The moist air wrapped around his body. Moving to the tub he felt the chill of the water. It wasn't freezing but it wasn't warm. Haruki wrapped his arm around Toichi's neck and began to lean forward to kiss him. The next thing he knew he was with incredible speed his body was flipped over and a tight grip was held on his throat. Haruki grabbed the hand and tried to remove them but that only made the grip tighten. Looking up into Toichi's eyes he noticed both fear and anger.

Toichi felt someone trying to free themselves from his grip. Never again would he be at someone's mercy. Tightening his grip. Toichi stopped once he heard the voice was Haruki's.

"I'm sorry," Toichi whispered.

Letting go Toichi moved away and wrapped his arms around himself. Leaving the tub he found a towel ad wrapped it around his waist. Leaving Haruki.

"i don't care if this hurts," Toichi whispered.

Using flash step Toichi felt pain strike his body as he moved to his room. Haruki could have easily used flash step as well to catch up to Toichi but he didn't. When Toichi made it to his room he placed his boxers on, his shikaksho as well as his captains uniform. His breathing heavy and ragged. Toichi laid on his bed. There was a knock on his door.

"What?" asked Toichi breathlessly.

The door began to open.

"What doesn't mean to come in!" snapped Toichi.

Orihime revealed herself which made Toichi's face soften.

"Sorry," apologized Toichi.

"So whats wrong?" asked Orihime.

"Nothing," replied Toichi.

"Might as well tell me before that meeting," said Orihime.

Orihime went to the bed and Toichi hugged her. Laying his head on her chest while his arms wrapped around his mothers waist.

"Nightmares," said Toichi.

"Tell me about them," said Orihime," it's better to share than to hide it away. Share your pain."

"I was in the bath," said Toichi," in my inner world for a while before I managed to leave and go to dream land. While sleeping though Haruki came in and at first I thought it was Hazel. I could have crushed his windpipe but I didn't. I increased the pressure on my hold when he tried to free himself. The only thing that stopped me was that his please to stop made it to my ears."

"They are fmaily," said Orihime," so they are bound to look similar. Though he may have more qualities of Grimmjow, Haruki is still Hazel's son no matter what."

Toichi sighed," Yeah but I wish life didn't suck. Why it had to be me that got screwed over."

Orihime kissed her sons forehead wishing she could ease the pain.

"The Gods are cruel," said Orihime," one day the fates shall smile upon you."

"I'm just a cursed being," said Toichi," sometimes I wish I could just disappear but I can't. I had a fate chosen for me and haven't done anything to change it. It's sick twisted and most of all something I never asked for. I never wanted these powers but I accepted them. I can't hide from this destiny but I wish I could hide Jinn's children from it. Hide anyone who is forced to be a warrior to stop. Soul Society's laws are unjust."

"I wish I could have helped you," said Orihime," I was so selfish. I only wanted to have you see you father and the only thing head Captain would agree to was making any hybrids become warriors."

"I know you didn't mean for me to have this fate," said Toichi and sighed," I'm just being an idiot and sulking."

"You're not an idiot," said Orihime," your brave. Do you have any idea how long it took for assistant Captain Hinamori to recover from her injuries. She was stabbed in the chest just like you. She was able to battle once again after Aizen made it to Karakura Town. She was hurt in August and was in battle in December. Your strong and can't deny it."

"Tch," scoffed Toichi," do you have any idea how bad I've wanted to sleep. The will power to move out and about. I'm tired and want to rest for another week or two but have refused my body that. I need to be a captain."

"So much stress for my poor poor Chi,' said Orihime.

"I don't wanna leave," said Toichi.

Orihime could feel how tense Toichi was and rubbed her hands on his back trying to comfort him. She knew her son suffered nightmares. He had dark rings under his eyes. She knew he was holding back the tears and knew he couldn't cry. Not yet. If he cried now she new it was bound to put him to sleep. She would have to finish this conversation with him later.

"Chi," said Orihime," it's late now. You better go."

Toichi nodded his head.

"Come back and we'll talk later," said Orihime.

Nodding his head Toichi stood up and moved out of the house. He had his sandles on and wish soul reapers could wear boots or what ever foot wear they desired. Sensing another presence Toichi knew it was Haruki following behind him. He ignored the presence and continued to move forward until he made it to squad 1 barracks. He had permission to enter and did so. A few captains had already arrived so Toichi took his place. Soi Fon glared at Toichi and Toichi had a stoic look while the captains held a plain look showing neither amusment, anger or boredom. Toichi had his gazed only once on Sui Feng because he was looking at all Captains and that angered Soi Fon for some reason. Toichi let go of her wrist. With swift speed she moved to attack but Toichi managed to grab her wrist. Shaking his head at that this only infuriated the second squad captain even more. Back flipping while hitting Toichi he slammed into a wall. The Captains moved but made no effort to do anything because it was not his place. Haruki wished to but held his place near Captain Ukitake. Soi Fon placed a foot on Toichi's chest and pressed hard.

"A traitor like you doesn't deserve to be Captain," said Soi Fon" trash like you. An abomination."

Pressing her foot harder into Toichi he could feel his cut open and blood spread across his chest. This made Toichi smile.

"I see you made me bleed," Toichi said breathlessly," but if you must kill me do so. I deserve this and have no complaints about it. I've wished for death for a while."

Soi Fon thought Toichi was challenging her and not talking him serious. Soi Fon leaned forward.

"Sting all enemies to death Suzumebachi," said Soi Fong.

"Stop!" demanded the head captain as his can was hit into the floor.

Soi Fon turned to stare at the head captain almost afraid if she were to get punished. Moving back to her stop Toichi got up and stood again. Only his shikasho had blood on it. His white captains uniform was not even dirtied.

"Since all Captains are here let the Captains meeting begin," said Yamamoto.

Toichi paid attention as the head master talked. Time flew by and one they were done Toichi turned to leave. He felt a hand clamp on his shoulder. He wanted to show anger but stopped himself to turn around to see his old Captain.

Zaraki smirked," Congrats."

"Thanks," said Toichi.

Toichi left and wasn't stopped by anyone but he could tell that a few captains had stopped Haruki and would have stopped Toichi had he not left sooner. Toichi didn't wish to go home just yet so instead he found himself in his barracks.

"Captain," said a few soul reapers a bowed.

"No need to be so formal,' said Toichi.

"But Captain," said one of the soul reapers.

"Fine whatever," said Toichi," just don't call me captain Shiefler. Just captain Toichi will do."

"Okay," said the soul reaper.

"Captain Shiefler," said Hisagi," what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be recuperating?"

"It's Captain Toichi," replied Toichi," and yes but I had a meetin and decided to come here."

"Oh," said Hisagi.

More soul reapers had gathered around to see their captain. Toichi sensed displeasure from one of the soul reapers and the one who did stepped forward.

"I will never acknowledge you as my Captain," said the soul reaper.

"Bishamon," hushed a soul reaper.

"Bishamon," said Toichi," God of war huh? Strong name."

"Don't you dare utter my name you disgusting mutt."

"Now I'm a dog," said Toichi.

Bishamon unsheathed his sword and moved forward.

"Bishamon no!" cried out on of the soul reapers.

Toichi saw the attack and used shunpo to get at least five meters away.

"You bastard," said Bishamon," using your God damn fucking hollow sonido."

"No i used flash step," said Toichi.

Toichi used sonido this time to make it in front of the soul reaper.

"No that was sonido," said Toichi," they have a different sound. Sonido is more deeper."

Toichi knew Bishamon would attack so he used one sonido and a flash step to evade him.

"Please leave me be," said Toichi," I don't plan to punish you for this since you are used to Hisagi being like a captain towards you but I plan to help this squad. Your lives will always be more important than me."

"Bull shit," spat Bishamon.

Bishamon was dragged away from them. Hisagi approached Toichi.

"I'm sorry," apologized Hisagi.

"It's fine," said Toichi.

"You know I never knew that there was a sound difference in a sonido and flash step," said Hisagi.

"notm any notice," said Toichi," but using both numerous times you ifgure it out. So how are things going with the squad?"

"Everything is going fine Sir,' said Hisagi.

"Do you need any assistance?" asked Toichi.

"No," replied Hisagi.

"okay," said Toichi," if there is any paper work just bring them to me and I'll do them."

"Okay," replied Hisagi.

"If that's all I'll leave," said Toichi.

Hisagi nodded his head and Toichi began to walk was keeping himself aware of the spiritual pressure just in cash Bishamon decided to attack. That wouldn't be to well since Toichi didn't have a single he was good at just using his hands as weapons and could hold his own but he felt safer using his weapon. Toichi decided not to home just yet. The sun was shining and there was clear blue skies with a few clouds. Sighing Toichi found a tree to sit in. It was his favorite tree and he stared into the sky watching the clouds move by. Becoming deep in thought Toichi began to see memories flooding through his brain. Not just bad ones but good ones. These weren't ones that would give him nightmares. Toichi remembered when he was five and his mother went to the world of the living with him. Toichi had left the gate of his home and saw his mothers' neighbours chicken chasing as stray dog. The chicken was sued for eggs and it made his little version laugh as he chased both the chicken and dog around the neighbourhood. He was caught though by his father and got a scolding for leaving the house without permission and without his mother or his father. It didn't bother Toichi now how his father was protective but it had when he was young. Toichi was happy his father could show him memories of when he was a baby. Orihime hadn't managed to record them all and with his eyeball Ulquiorra could crush his eyeball and show people things. Toichi had been show his childhood before Jinnosuke was born. It hurt Orihime to see Ulquiorra with his right eye closed but he said it was better because without and eye for a while he might have scared Toichi. Toichi remembered when he was only two. Toichi was playing in his room and managed to walk out. Toichi usually wasn't a mischief maker or troublesome but when he walked into the living room where ulquiorra and Haruki were napping Toichi took the chance to move. Ulquiorra was tired and napping only because Toichi should have but had woken up early. Moving to his father Toichi could smell a vile smell. Toichi noticed Haruki had a dirty diaper. Moving to Haruki Toichi knew how to remove a diaper and did so from Haruki but hating the horrid smell. Walking over to his father Toichi placed the dirty diaper on his fathers face. The poo landing on his face. Ulquiorra's eyes opened and he almost threw up at the smell. Poo was on his lips as well and Toichi clapped his hands together while laughing. Ulquiorra had ran to the bathroom scrubbing himself for over ten minutes and took and extra ten to shower encase his son had gotten him anywhere else. While Ulquiorra showered Haruki and Toichi decided to make mischief. Heading to the kitchen Toichi noticed peanut butter as it was on the counter. Opening the jar he spooned it open and began to throw it around the kitchen and Haruki had managed to open the fridge. Finding mayonaise and squirting it around as well as ketchup. The boys were covered in condiments and had opened a jug of milk spilling it all over the floor. Toichi and Haruki laid in it making milk angels. Toichi even had his pull up explode. Thus leading to his removing it and throwing it at the wall. The two now both naked.

"Juiwce!" exclaimed Haruki.

Toichi moved to the refrigerator and found the juice but since he was short and it was on the third shelf he had to climb a bit but managed to get it. Once he did the boys drank from it managing to make themselves more sticky from the grape juice.

"Gotta go pee!" announced Haruki.

Jumping up and down doing the potty dance the two and a half year old began to sigh in relief as he peed all over the floor, in the juice and on Toichi. This had angered the young two and a half year old. He hit Haruki and the two rolled around in milk, pee and juice. Toichi managed to give Haruki a taste of his own power as Toichi pee'd in Haruki's face.

"Ewwww!" whined Haruki,' Towichi is yucky."

Ulquiorra entered the kitchen to see the diaster zone and practically fainted.

Toichi snickered to himself as he remembered that. Dear Gods, he was an idiot but he had to admit that it was too funny. Lost in thought Toichi was shocked when he felt a rain drop hit his nose. More came down and Toichi jumped from the tree. When he did his ankle landed the wrong way and he heard a sickling snap. Toichi cried out in pain as he fell to the ground. The rain had began to pour and Toichi felt the snow turn to slush and the earth soften as mud hit him. Crawling Toichi tried and didn't make it so far before he stopped and heard a loud clap of thunder. He was not far from home but crawling home was far. Not heading home with Haruki was to him now a bad choice. He knew his ankle would be dirtied from the mud and if he was lucky he wouldn't get an infection. Crawling until he mad it to a tree Toichi panted. He was there for a while. Watching each thunder and flash of lighting as hit him. He wasn't safe under the tree because it was winter and the trees had no leaves.

"Toi!" called a voice.

Toichi turned and saw Haruki as he was running towards him.

"What happened?" asked Haruki.

"I hurt my ankle falling out of a tree," said Toichi," it ended up rolling or what ever. Ya know when ya walk and sometimes it suddenyl goes ot the side catching you off balance and it hurts for a while. Well that happened and the bone snapped. Aw fuck it hurts."

The throbbing in his ankle disturbed him.

"I can't walk," said Toichi.

Haruki picked up Toichi.

"I'll get you home," said Haruki," will you allow your mom to heal your ankle?"

Toichi nodded his head. Thats when Haruki noticed the cut on Toichi's chest. His shikaksho was moved a bit and not placed properly as it clunch to Toichi's chest. It's placement was probably due to the landing Toichi had.

"Soi Fon reay did cut you," said Haruki," it's not shallow but its not deep."

"I'll be fine," said Toichi," can we please go home?"

"Yes," said Haruki.

Using shunpo Haruki quickly moved. When he made it to Toichi's house he saw Orihime at the door with an umbrella waiting for them.

"Oh God!" gasped Orihime as a hand went to her mouth.

Running to Toichi she took him out of Haruki's arms hugging him. She no longer held the umbrella but did not care if she got wet. Taking Toich into the house she went up into his bedroom where no one owuld make a fuss. Placing him on the floor because he didn't want to dirty the bed and the floor could always be clean.

"It hurts mom," said Toichi.

"I'll heal you soon," said Orihime.

"Thank you," said Toichi.

"Soten Kisshun, I reject," said Orihime.

Her healing flowers began to help the wound. It didn't take very long since her determination was strong to help her son. Once she was finished she began to remove his clothing.

"What are you doing?" asked Toichi.

"Getting you out of these wet clothes," said Orihime," don't worry. You can remove the boxers yourself and when you do so I'll get you some warm cloths. Then we'll wash and dry you uniform."

"Okay," said Toichi.

Orihime removed the last of what she had said she would removed and went to Toichi's dresser. Getting him his black sweater and sweat pants that were usually tight on him but now would be baggy. She found a pair of boxers and with the other clothes in her hand she closed her eyes and walked towards he son. Toichi ahd stopped her once she made it and removed his wet boxers and put on the new ones. Placing his wet clothes in a laundry basket.

"Can I open my eyes?" asked Orihime.

"Yes," said Toichi.

Orihime did so and walked forward and placed the sweater on him while Toichi did the pants. He didn't care if people thought she was babying him. So be it, if he were labelled a mommas boy for loving his mother than people could shove a stick of wood up their ass.

"Do you wanna talk now?" asked Orihime.

Toichi nodded.

"It's okay to cry," said Orihime.

"I know," whispered Toichi.

Orihime and Toichi sat on his bed. His head in her lap while she stroked his back as he told her the horrors of the women who forced sex upon him, who tortured him only to heal him as if nothing had happened. How painful it was each time bit or slapped him. The pain of it all as he felt betrayl as he had sex with Haruki under her control. Explain in detail the pain he felt when he kissed Hazel in front of Toichi and when he attcked Orihime. The way he was joyous when Haruki had helped him by stabbing him. In the end Toichi felt himself silently crying even though his voice was thick and sounded weak he didn't care. He explained his powers to her how he not only controlled lightning but as well darkness and strength which was why Raiden was not something that could also blind you with its brightness. Kuro's dark powers had kept the two shades balanced. Meaning he had not learned truly everything about his own powers as he thought he had. He even told her of what had happened with Soi Fon and Bishamon. He admitted it did not anger him only sadden him as he was not accepted by his fellow soul reapers. He even told he when he was in the tree and how for sure he thought death would find him before anyone else would. Orihime could only feel pain as she held her son as he eventually cried himself to sleep occasionally repeating the same thing over and over again. Orihime kissed his forehead.

"I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain," said Orihime.

been updating like crazy wooooo. Anyways i thought i'd write something like this. Giving a few examples of Toichi's child hood. Not the best to be honest but okay. I really hope people review cause I just like review. Its like love from a fan and even ifits negative it dont bother me cause its still a review. All I know is i will never write a yaoi with ichigo a Szayel cause i had a dream where Syzayel was gonna show him some scrap book of them and then they kissed and it showeed up on my laptop even though i was witnessing it and i yelled "Were is the man sex!"..my mom thinks i should get laid to get that kind of stuff on my mind..not something she should tell her daughter hahaha truly im jsut a pervert. Anyways that is prob my main reason not to have a Ichi Szayel yaoi.

until next time, Briar