Disclaimer: The characters belonging to Janet Evanovich are used strictly for entertainment purposes.

A/N: I want to apologize if any words are smashed together in my chapters going forward. The doc manager on this site removes spaces after italics for some reason. I've been rechecking the chapters after I submit them, but I might miss some words.

…

Chapter 5

I went to the living room where I'd seen the phone sitting on a little stand beside an armchair and sat before grabbing the handset. Using the same instructions Madge gave me when I called Tank, I dialed Ranger's cell. He answered on the first ring and his voice had an edge to it. "Expected to hear from you before now. Chaz was about to head up the stairs."

"I'm sorry," I said, knowing Chaz most likely reported back to him when I was safely inside the building. "Elise had food ready and I was starving. I just finished eating."

I must have sounded uneasy because he sighed and said, "Food is important." Any other time, there'd be amusement in his voice. Not this time. Not following the year he'd had.

"It wasn't intentional," I said. Seriously, how insensitive could I be?

"I know. Stephanie, I need you to do everything I say until I'm there. For my sanity and your safety. Please."

"I will." Huh, turned out there was a situation that could make me more accepting of his demands: this one.

"Thank you."

I opened my mouth to speak again and nothing came out, but my heart said, 'I love you. I'd do anything for you.' Silence stretched between us and I couldn't remember a time when we'd been so awkward with each other, at least not since we'd become friends and certainly not since we'd been lovers.

Finally, he asked, "You don't remember anything about that night?"

"No. You took me back to my apartment and we started to, uh..." For some reason, talking about it was harder than I expected. I swallowed and said, "Tank called, you left, then I woke up here today. I have no idea what happened in between or where I've been." I winced at how emotional my voice sounded, especially since I hadn't had to suffer through the last ten months the way he had.

"We will find out who is behind this," he promised.

"I believe you." We both fell silent again and I couldn't stand the unease between us, so I said, "Elise and I are going shopping for a few things since I don't even have pajamas. I don't want to keep her waiting."

"Take Chaz with you."

"Okay." I hesitated, choking on all the things I wantedto say to him but didn't dare over the phone, especially since we'd never said any of them to each other in person before this all happened. Instead, I asked, "When will you be here?"

He was silent and I waited, shifting impatiently, for his answer. "I have a meeting tonight, mandatory. I'll be on the first flight after. I hate to say this, but my best guess is I'll be there tomorrow morning sometime," he said. "I'm sorry, babe."

The selfish part of me wanted to be upset that he couldn't have been on his way already. Instead, I thought about how frustrated he must be that his time wasn't his own anymore. My wait wouldn't be so bad, in comparison. Maybe by the time he left I'd be asleep and wouldn't even notice the hours. "It's okay. You're coming, that's the important thing."

"Always, Stephanie."

My throat tightened and my voice was husky when I said, "I'll see you in the morning sometime."

"Yes," he said. The line went dead and I smiled. Finally something familiar.

I went straight to the little bathroom after I hung up the phone and saw a brush, a wash cloth and face soap, and a spritzer bottle of hairspray sitting on a little table near the tub and shower combo. They hadn't been there during the mini tour and were arranged in such a way, I knew they were for my use. No doubt Elise had pulled them out for me while I was on the phone. Thank God for that woman. Elise's attention to detail made me appreciate my own mother and her efficient ways more than ever.

I fought off a huge wave of sadness and made myself busy washing my face and trying to tame my crazy hair. A shower was absolutely out of the question without clean underwear. Surprisingly enough, the wind from my walk had made my hair look more 'messy on purpose' rather than the opposite. I spritzed and twisted strands until I felt there was a little less frizz overall. The shorter length had obviously not affected manageability in any way.

Once I was satisfied with the frizz level, I grabbed a clip from a shelf where Elise had laid out a selection of them and pulled my hair back into a short, messy ponytail — the "messy" just couldn't be avoided. Loose tendrils fell out of the band in the back and curled around my neck. I knew by the time we returned from the shopping trip, my hair would be super frizzy and big again from my foray into the humid weather, but for now I looked acceptable.

I took an assessing look in the mirror. My clothes were obviously high quality and they fit me very well. They weren't too wrinkled and didn't smell dirty. I wondered how long I'd worn them. My cheekbones had hollowed out more in the past few months and my eyes seemed sadder, understandably so. Otherwise, I looked the same as I had the last time I remembered looking in the mirror — aside from the length of my hair which I still refused to dwell on. Without any makeup to enhance my looks, I was as good as I could get for now.

When I returned to the dining room, Jean Philippe said Elise was still working in the kitchen. I could hear the muffled sounds of metal and glass clinking together. I felt a pang of guilt, that old familiar feeling that I should offer my assistance. I smiled at Jean Philippe and said, "I'll go help Elise."

"No, no," Jean Philippe said. "You are a guest. Please, sit. She will be back in a moment."

I sat down awkwardly and fought off the Burg Collar of Duty tightening itself around my neck. Thankfully, he distracted my thoughts. "How was your phone call?"

"It was … difficult. I told you things are worse than we knew and the truth is a bit shocking." I explained to him how long I'd been gone, that everyone back home thought I was dead, and that Ranger's trip was as much to find out who was behind my disappearance as it was to reinstate my life.

A gasp from the kitchen doorway caught our attention and I looked over to see Elise standing with her hand over her mouth, her eyes moist. While I wasn't thrilled about it myself, I thought it was a fairly extreme reaction to have for a person she'd only met an hour before.

"It will be fine, Elise. We'll figure everything out. Ranger's very good with this sort of thing." I wanted to ease her concern and erase the horror from her eyes. Her hand trembled as she lowered it to her side and gave a little sniffle. In that moment, I knew her emotion went far deeper than just sympathy for me.

She made her way to her chair and sat down, smoothing her hands over her black slacks and spoke with her face tipped down, studying her movement. "We had a son, Stephanie. One day he did not return home from school. He was simply … gone. This was six years ago." A single tear streamed down her cheek and she swiped at it with the back of her hand, looking up at me. Her blue eyes had darkened with sadness. "Everyone said we learn to cope, to move on, but I miss him and I still hope. Every day."

Her announcement hit me in the gut like a well-placed punch and the air whooshed out of my lungs. I was glad to be seated at the table because I suddenly felt weak. "Oh my God…"

"Jean Philippe and I do not often speak of him, but I feel it is fate you found us on thisday." She took a deep breath. "Today would have been his twentieth birthday. He disappeared two weeks after he turned fourteen." She gestured to the kitchen. "I made his favorite lunch. Have done so every year on his birthday. My soup always made him smile."

I had no idea how to respond, but I felt stabbing pain for her, the way I felt it for my parents. I had no children, but I knew what I meant to my mother. I knew what it must have been like for her to hear I was dead. Had it been Ranger? One of the guys from TPD? Eddie? I didn't know, but I was devastated for all of them, my friends and family, and now the Beaumonts.

"I have finally acknowledged that he may not have survived whatever happened to him. He was a good boy and would have come home otherwise. I know we will never know what really happened. Sometimes I think it is better that way." Jean Philippe reached over and gently tugged her toward him so he could kiss her temple. She gave him a watery smile and looked at me. "It was not easy." Another deep breath. "Saying it aloud makes it too painful. In some ways, we have kept him alive in our home by keeping silence."

She forced a weak smile and dabbed at her eyes with her apron. "Your visit feels like a gift, maybe from him. Maybe he is trying to help me. I am glad you found my husband today. Who else could better understand what you are going through?" She shrugged in a matter of fact way, though I could tell it was far from how she felt. Then a small smile crept onto her face. "Watching you enjoy his soup and giving you his room … feels right."

Proving his devotion and sensitivity, Jean Philippe wrapped his wiry arms around her shoulders and murmured to her in French. Elise stared straight ahead, nodding slightly as he spoke, and patting the forearm across her front. They stayed that way for a minute, sharing their joint sadness and their tightly woven bond of love. I felt like an outsider, but I couldn't look away. Could that be Ranger and I someday? Could we move beyond the past ten months and all the hurt to stay happily together? Was there even an 'us' anymore?

After he released her, Elise shocked me by standing to round the corner of the table and bend over to wrap her arms around me in a tight embrace. Tears swam in my eyes and I blinked them back. Damn, I hated when people got mushy, it was nearly impossible to keep my cool.

"Tell me. Do you have parents, Stephanie? You have not mentioned them." The admonishment in her voice shamed me.

I nodded and mumbled against her hair, "I do."

She pulled back with a smile and asked, "Do you want to call them, too?"

"Yes, I do." I took a deep breath, knowing she wouldn't understand what I was about to say. "But I don't see a way I can do that without creating problems for everyone. First, I'm not sure it'd be easy to tell them something like this over the phone. Also, I need to wait until I know if, and by whom, I was kidnapped, and when I can go home. Knowing my mother, she'll want me on the first flight to Trenton and she'll only worry until I'm there."

The smile dropped from Elise's face when she straightened up and stared at me for a moment, pain reflected in her eyes. "I disagree with your plan. I think it is best for you to tell them you are alive, even if they cannot see you. It is an awful tragedy for a parent to lose a child."

Her words sparked a surge of regret. She was probably right, but I knew if I called them the Burg, then all of Trenton, would know in a matter of hours, maybe even minutes, that I was alive. Until I knew why, and if, my kidnapper had purposefully let me go, it wouldn't be smart to tip them off that I was alive and well. It'd be so much worse if my family and friends found out I was alive only to lose me for real. No, it was better to wait until we knew what we were up against.

I folded my hands together on the table top. "I understand your feelings, and I agree on some level. I'm sorry this hurts you, but I think it's best to let Ranger make that decision." Okay, so a tiny bit of me was being a coward and using Ranger as an excuse. I may have been stripped away from my life for ten months, but denial had always been a part of my arsenal.

Elise nodded. "Of course, you should do what you feel is best. I am sorry to push." She gestured toward the living room with a sudden, and bright, smile. "Are you ready for shopping?"

I returned her smile and stood. "Yes." Then I gave her an apologetic shrug. "I'm sorry. We won't be completely alone. I promised Ranger I'd take someone to watch over us. He won't make himself a nuisance." As long as no one tried to tackle me in any of the stores.

"I know," she said with a nod. "Jean Philippe warned me about your bodyguard. I hope you are not really in danger."

"Um, with me, anything's possible. That's why Chaz is hanging around. But I haven't felt like I'm being watched."

She shook her head slightly. "It is not for me to understand how a beautiful young woman can live a life of such danger."

"I'll just call Chaz." And get as far away from this subject as possible. I liked Elise, but I didn't want a rundown on marriage and babies and it felt like that's exactly where we were headed.

…

Elise took me to several stores and made me try on everything. When we were finally done, Chaz was loaded down with several bags and boxes, including shoes, hair products, clothing, and makeup. He'd totally surprised me with his willingness to escort us through the stores and carry our purchases, all without complaint. French Merry Men had it all. I thought about asking Ranger to have the French team train the American team on bodyguard manners.

He also paid for everything, insisted on it. His answer was the same as it had been in the chocolate shop. Ranger. I didn't know the exact amount he spent, but Elise charged through the stores insisting I needed 'just one more thing' until I had about 'fifty' such things. Poor Chaz. At least I wouldn't lack anything I needed. I was most excited about the loofah on a stick, anxious to scrub my body pink under a hot shower spray.

On top of it all, Elise insisted on paying for all of my underwear and bras. She would not think of allowing a man who was 'not my lover' to purchase such intimate items for me. I wanted to smile. If only she knew the common occurrence of thatin my life. Between Tank and Lester, I regularly had men buying underwear for me for distractions or even a few times when I needed to change on the way back to work. I tried to argue that she shouldn't spend money on me, but she insisted that they had missed years spoiling their own child and she wanted to do this for me. I bit my tongue and made myself smile and nod. The woman was good with the guilt. Too good.

Happily shopped out, we returned to the apartment where Chaz brought everything up before he said good night. I briefly wondered if he was actually going home or if Ranger was having him watch the building. Then I decided I probably already knew the answer.

Elise checked the chicken she'd put on before we left and said supper would be in thirty minutes. Grateful to have some time to clean up, I excused myself to the bathroom and turned the water on as hot as I could stand it. I put my new loofah to the test scrubbing every inch of my skin twice, then I washed my hair three times and loaded it with conditioner. After a quick shave — I tried not to cringe over the stubble on my legs — I had no time to spare and dried off as fast as I could, then threw on clean underwear, a pair of jean shorts, and a navy t-shirt.

I rushed out to the dining table and Jean Philippe chuckled. "You did not have to rush. We would have waited for you."

"I don't like to keep people waiting," I said.

After dinner, I called Ranger to say goodnight and to see if he'd left, yet. I figured if I got no answer, maybe he was on a plane already. He answered on the first ring. "Babe. Everything okay?"

"Yes. I just needed to hear your voice again."

I heard him exhale quietly. "I'm glad you called."

"Yeah." My throat convulsed and I swallowed. Hard to believe how difficult it was to act normal just talking to him and wondered how bad it would be when we were face to face. I wanted to apologize to him for everything, even if none of this had been my fault. "I can't even imagine what it must have been like…" I blew a breath out slowly to reign in my emotions and collect my thoughts. "I know this has been much harder on you than it has for me."

"Harder on me?"

"Sure, I had no idea I was gone. You thought I was … that I was gone. I've only had to deal with this reality for a few hours." My voice cracked and I swallowed.

"Hadn't thought about it that way." He paused and said, "It's the worst thing I've ever had to do." A huge admission from him.

I needed to get away from the emotional stuff right now because hearing him admit to the difficulty was enough to send me to my knees. I changed gears by saying, "I need to know the basics, Ranger. You know the last thing I remember, but what about you? Did I have more time with you that I don't remember? Did I just wander off with amnesia one day? Was I kidnapped? Is this all thanks to a crazy skip?"

"Your last memory was the last time I saw you. I came back to your place two hours after I left. You were gone without a trace." His voice was low enough that I had to strain to hear him. I imagined him with his head back, probably against the back of a couch or chair, eyes closed. "It was clear you hadn't gone on your own because your car was in the lot."

His statement relieved me of a fear I hadn't realized had clung to my subconscious: the worry that he'd thought I left him. Knowing he'd never considered it was practically a gift at this point. I felt much lighter when I spoke next. "I assume you're going with the theory that this wasn't a random act…" my voice trailed off.

"Would have taken too much planning to execute," he said, echoing my thoughts. "Try not to stress about it right now." Right, don't waste energy on unproductive emotions. I wondered if he'd been able to do that ten months ago.

Me? Not so much. "I wish I could tell you what happened."

"We will figure it out." His voice was rough, determined. "It's more important that you're alive and safe."

"I agree."

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said.

A trace amount of happiness began to edge out despair and I smiled. "Okay. Goodnight."

"Night." My second goodbye from him. I listened to him disconnect before I replaced the receiver in the cradle and then stood to wander into the kitchen. Elise and Jean Philippe were drinking coffee and talking, but smiled when I entered.

"All is well?" Elise asked.

I shrugged and said, "All things considered, I think so." I accepted a fresh cup of coffee from her gratefully. She'd already put milk and sugar in it for me.

We retreated to the dining room and chatted until my coffee was gone and I'd turned into one big, continuous yawn. "Sorry," I said around a particularly deep one. "I think I'm about to turn into a pumpkin," I said and froze at the usage of my father's pet name for me.

Elise, noticing the change in my mood, said, "Yes, it is time for us all to rest." She stood to gather cups from the table and patted my arm when she took my cup.

"It is sad to say goodnight, but my wife is right. You look like you are ready to fall over soon and I have a shop to open in the morning," Jean Philippe said in a chipper voice. I was glad for his cheerfulness. The evening, the entire day, had been far too serious and depressing.

Another yawn caught me, the strength of it causing my eyes to water, and I gave them both a sheepish grin. "My body certainly agrees with the suggestion."

Jean Philippe stood with me and both of them hugged me briefly and kissed me on each cheek. The kissing thing was awkward, as was the hugging, but I wouldn't have denied them anything after all of their kindness toward me.

"Good night and thank you," I said.

Jean Philippe put a fatherly hand on my shoulder and looked directly into my eyes. "Stephanie, it is our pleasure. I am thankful you walked into my shop this morning." He squeezed my shoulder, then pulled back and slipped his arm around Elise's waist, leading her out of the room. I went to my room and changed into my new nightgown and fell into bed, pulling the covers up tight before turning out the lamp.

My sleep was interrupted by strange dreams, flashes of places and people I didn't know, some kind and some not. I saw a short woman with dark hair and an attractive child in her lap, then myself looking over a beautiful city nightscape with a feeling of cold loneliness in my heart, and lastly I saw a pair of eyes looking at me with rage and murder in their depths. It felt so real that I woke with a start. I sat up with my arms wrapped around my body to ward off the chill from within. When I remembered where I was and that I was safe, I fell back into a restless sleep.