CHAPTER SEVEN

I didn't get home until almost ten. Jacob and I ate with Billy in the lounge room, then spent the rest of the evening in Jacob's bedroom listening to music, talking and kissing. I was longing to do more, but we couldn't really start fooling around with his Dad in the house. I left very reluctantly at nine forty-five and ran home, to find my Dad apparently calmly watching a baseball game on the television.

"That you, Paul?" he called out as I closed the door.

"Yes."

"Where have you been?" He came into the hall as I took my shoes off.

"Over at a friend's house."

"What friend?"

"Just someone from school."

The back of his hand caught me across the cheekbone before I even realised it was coming and I staggered into the wall, my eyes watering.

"What have I said about coming home straight from school! You see friends on the weekends, so long as I know who you're with!" Dad yelled.

"Yeah; sorry."

I straightened up. I saw the second punch coming and threw my arm up to block it. The fist hit my elbow and much to my surprise I barely felt it. Dad pulled his hand back and shook it, looking puzzled as if the impact had hurt his knuckles. I took the opportunity to dodge past him into my room and slam the door closed. I leaned against it for ten minutes, my heart hammering, expecting him to come after me, but eventually I heard the shower running, then his bedroom door opening and closing. I took my shirt off and lay down on the bed still in my school pants, gazing at the ceiling and pushing my Dad to the back of my mind. It wasn't long before I was smiling again and I drifted into sleep with an image of Jacob in my head. I woke late the next morning and found Dad about to leave for work.

"I'll be late tonight; get yourself some takeout or something," he said, placing twenty dollars on the kitchen counter. A moment later he was gone.

I hurried into the shower and scrubbed myself, taking a brief look at my face in the bathroom mirror. A deep purple bruise had spread over my cheekbone and there was no way of covering it up. I was almost tempted to skip school, but then I dressed quickly, grabbed the money and my backpack and left the house. I just about had time to catch the bus.

By the time I reached the bus stop, the other kids who caught it were already there, Jacob, Embry and Quil standing a few yards away from the others and talking. I walked over to them.

"Hey, Paul." Jacob turned towards me with a smile and then it faded as rapidly as it had appeared, his eyes widening in shock. "Shit, what happened? Did your Dad do that?" He reached up to touch my face, his fingers cold against my hot skin.

"Don't, it's fine," I said. "It's nothing." I grasped hold of his hand and pulled it away from my face.

"But..."

"Sshh, don't worry about it."

"Jake, people are looking," Embry said suddenly in an uncomfortable whisper.

"Let them," Jacob replied.

"Are those two guys holding hands?" I heard a voice in the larger group of kids say.

Much to my surprise, Jacob turned his head around quickly and glared at them all. "Fuck off!" he snapped and turned back to me.

I grinned and let go of him as the bus pulled up. The four of us sat down at the back and I noticed Jared was conspicuously missing, until Quil spotted him outside running to try and catch the bus before it set off. The bus door closed and it began to move so I jumped up and rang the bell. The driver braked sharply and turned around in annoyance.

"What's wrong with you kids?" he grumbled.

"You left someone behind," I said as Jared reached the door.

"Since when did you care anything about Jared?" Embry asked.

"Well, he was the first person I got to know when I came here," I said. Jacob elbowed me. "Uh, no, the second," I corrected and smiled at him. It was all I could do not to lean closer and kiss him. Instead I just stared into his eyes until Quil began to make retching noises the other side of him.

"Jesus, are you two for real?" said Embry.

"Hey, guys." Jared interrupted us and squeezed onto the seat between Quil and Embry. "Thanks for stopping the bus."

"It was Paul," Quil said.

Jared nodded at me and then frowned. "Been fighting?"

"No."

Jacob glanced at me but said nothing.

"Bathroom cabinet attacked me," I added.

Jared dropped it and the journey to school was, for once, filled with hilarity and seemed only to last a few minutes. Absolutely nothing happened during the day either, not even in the lunch break. I went into the food hall with all four of the others and although Tom, Steve and Bobbie were in there too with the girls, they did nothing more than glare at us from a distance. I guessed that however tough they thought they were, they didn't feel like bothering five guys at once.

After school I went to Jacob's house again. My Dad had said he wouldn't be home until later and I still had the twenty dollars so we picked up pizzas on the way, shared them with Billy and then spent the rest of the evening in Jacob's room again.

"You know, we're going to have to do something about getting some privacy somehow," I said eventually, rolling away from him before I was tempted to tear his shirt off.

"I got an idea," Jacob said. "You saw the other buildings on our land? The double one is a workshop; I fix cars and bikes in there, it's kind of a hobby, but I make a bit of money out of it too. One end of it's more like a lounge room with a couch and stuff, it just needs clearing up a little. I'll sort it out at the weekend."

"Sounds great," I said at once. The building he was referring to was about thirty yards away from the house and surrounded by rough ground and mud; Billy was highly unlikely to wander over there in his wheelchair at any time.

On Thursday the trouble started. I took phys-ed right before lunch, but none of the other guys were in my class. I wasn't much for team sports and usually elected to do track. I could quite easily run laps around the field for an hour daydreaming. When it was over I showered, put my uniform on and set off for the food hall. As I took a shortcut across the tennis courts towards the main school building, I ran into Tom and his henchmen.

"Paul; where are you going in such a hurry?" Steve asked mildly.

"I'm not in any hurry." I stopped, eyeing the three of them as they stood in a small semi-circle in front of me.

"How are you liking hanging out with a bunch of fags?" Bobbie said.

"Guess you're pretty happy, since you are one," added Steve.

"Yeah, much happier than when I was with you assholes," I retorted.

"What happened to your face?" asked Tom, eyeing the bruise which still darkened the skin over my cheekbone.

"Accident."

"Seems like you have a few of those," Bobbie said, grinning now. "Seems to me like it was a bit of an accident you running into us just now."

"Jesus," I muttered impatiently. "Are you guys going to try and hit me or just talk about it?"

Tom's fist shot out a second later, aiming for my unbruised cheek. I ducked and the momentum from his punch made him stagger forwards. I turned to the side, straightened up and drove my knee into his stomach. I didn't think I'd done it particularly hard, but he fell to his knees, his face turning purple, choking, seemingly unable to breathe. Bobbie and Steve flew at me simultaneously and I threw my fist out, catching Steve in the side of the head. He dropped like a stone. Bobbie hit my jaw and then stepped back, swearing and shaking his hand as if he'd punched a wall rather than my face. I was both stunned and amused, but distracted enough not to notice Tom move suddenly from his crouched position, wrap his arms around the lower part of my legs and drag them out from under me. I fell backwards, crashing onto the clay surface of the tennis court. Tom backed off and I kicked out with one foot, striking him in the shoulder before he was able to get up. He stumbled again and I got to my feet quickly as Bobbie came back at me.

I could feel my temper beginning to rise now as I imagined what would have happened if these jerks had cornered Jacob and heat filled me, making me break out in a sweat. I knew I ought to get control of myself, but with Bobbie coming at me again, I had no opportunity to take a breath. I lashed out and my fist hit him in the chest, throwing him backwards several feet where he lay on the ground gasping, making no further effort to get up.

"Paul! For fuck's sake, stop!" Jared skidded to a halt at my side and grabbed me by the arm, urging me away from the guys. "That's enough, you're out of control. Breathe."

"Yeah." I was trembling and I felt as if I was staring down a tunnel.

"Paul! Look at me." Jared gripped me by the shoulders, giving me a shake. "Come on, you can't lose it here."

I took a long shuddering breath and gradually his face began to come into focus, then the rest of him and the tennis court behind him where a number of people had gathered to watch the spectacle. I took another breath.

"I'm ok."

"Alright, let's go." Jared grabbed my bag which I had dropped on the ground and handed it to me. "What the hell were you doing anyway? You can't start fighting like that."

"Do you really think I started it?" I sighed. "They were waiting for me."

"Well, hopefully they won't bother in the future," Jared said, glancing back at the three guys who were now on their feet, watching us mutinously, all dishevelled and panting.

They didn't bother me again. I guess they thought it would be easier to hurt Jacob. When we got off the bus in La Push, the three of them were waiting by the gas station in the dark. I thought it odd that they had bothered to come over to La Push and somehow managed to get there before we did. Embry, Quil and Jared took off straight away and I went into the store to get some cokes. It was only two or three minutes before I came out and found Steve and Bobbie holding Jacob by the arms while Tom hit him repeatedly. He was coughing and spluttering, his mouth and nose bleeding, his legs almost giving way beneath him as he struggled for breath.

I dropped my bag and the cokes on the ground and rushed forward, but something stopped me just feet away. It was like an invisible wall that I couldn't get past and I shoved at it in frustration. I had to get to him before they killed him. He had fallen to the ground now and Bobbie was kicking him viciously in the ribs.

"Stop!" I yelled, my feet still rooted to the spot. "Jacob! Jake!"

A loud crash startled me. My door hit the wall and I found myself lying in my bed, tangled in the sheet which was soaked in sweat, my breath coming in harsh gasps.

"Who the hell is Jake?" my Dad growled.

I sat up slowly, shuddering, struggling to shake the dream off. I blinked and rubbed a hand over my face. "A friend."

"What kind of friend?"

"That's my business." I knew I was at a disadvantage and I slid out of the bed and stood up.

"It's my business too, if you're yelling his name in your sleep. You're my son! You think I want you turning into a faggot?" Dad raged.

"It's not like you make a choice to go one way or the other!"

"Of course it's a choice! You've had girlfriends and yet you choose to do God only knows what with boys too. I'm ashamed of you!"

"You're ashamed? What about me?" I cried, suddenly furious. He had put me through so much shit over the years. "Why do you think I never brought any of my friends around to the house?" I shouted. "Because you might come home drunk and hit me or them. What kind of father beats shit out of his son, just because his own life is fucked up? It's not my fault Mom left, it was yours! She left because you did the same to her, but I couldn't leave. I was just a kid; I was stuck with you and you put me in the hospital twice! You know what? I don't give a shit what you think any more. If I want to be with a boy, then I will be!" I yelled.

Dad's fist slammed into the side of my head, throwing me off balance and I staggered against the bed. I hadn't been ready for it. I pulled myself upright again and thrust both hands out, shoving him backwards.

"Get away from me," I panted.

"You little shit, you need some discipline!"

He came forward again and I felt myself filling up with heat and rage. I was shaking all over and this time I didn't try to calm down and breathe. I just wanted the way he had treated me for so long to be over. I hit out at him, knocking him back.

"I told you to get away from me," I said through my teeth. I sprang up onto the bed as far from him as I could get. He had fallen against the door frame and was pulling himself upright, his face twisted with anger and his fists clenched.

It happened so fast it sucked the breath out of me. One minute I was crouching on the bed in my shorts, the next my hands were on the floor and the back half of me still on the bed, only it wasn't hands that rested on the floor, it was paws; huge grey paws with long claws protruding from them. I stepped forward and placed the other two paws on the ground. When I growled, the sound was terrifying and incredibly loud in the small room. Dad staggered backwards out of the open door, the colour draining out of his face, eyes wide. I could imagine myself tearing his head from his shoulders, putting an end to his repeated torment of me, but I knew I couldn't do it. I turned away and launched myself at the window which stood wide open. It was just big enough for me to get through and I landed on all fours on the patch of grass behind the house. I sprang over the fence surrounding the small yard and fled.

I ran and ran, bounding into the woods and tearing through the trees, the best place I could think of to go where I was unlikely to encounter anyone. When I eventually stopped, panting, I had no idea where I was. I sat down, trying to calm myself but at the same time fearful that I wouldn't be able to turn back; that I would be stuck like this. I was so angry, I couldn't see how I would be able to relax enough.

Eventually I began to follow my own scent back through the woods towards La Push. As I ran along the narrow path, gradually my temper left me, but still I was a wolf. I knew I couldn't go home even if I did manage to change back and I halted at the edge of the trees where I could just make out the shape of Sam Uley's house in the darkness. He would help me.

I broke out of the trees and ran across the meadow to the house, my heart thumping unevenly. What if he couldn't help me? What if I really had to stay as a wolf forever? Stupid but frightening thoughts plagued me and by the time I reached Sam's porch I had worked myself up into a panic and I could hear myself whining like a lost puppy. How could I attract Sam's attention? Bark or something?

I opened my mouth, unsure what sound was going to come out and I howled. Oh shit. It was deafening and I had probably just woken up half of La Push. I dropped onto my belly in an effort to be less conspicuous and scratched desperately at the door with my front paws.

'Please let me in.' I heard my own frightened voice in my head and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for Sam to come to me and make everything alright.