Disclaimer: The characters belonging to Janet Evanovich are used strictly for entertainment purposes.

…

Chapter 8

Later in the night, we lay in each other's arms in silence, fingers idly stroking, and our breathing slow and even. I felt the second Ranger woke because his body tensed as if startled, and then his arms tightened to steel bands, restricting my breathing a little. I lifted my head to see his eyes staring at me, looking haunted and troubled.

"Ranger?"

"You're really here," he said so quietly I had to strain to hear him.

"Yes, I am." I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and tilted my head forward to kiss him lightly.

He loosened his grip a little when our lips touched, thankfully. Not that I minded him holding me tight, but I needed air. For the second time since I'd known him, I saw him press his lips together in an attempt to stem his emotions. That was the only visible hint of his loss of composure, except I noticed that his breathing rate was slightly elevated. After a good thirty seconds, he spoke. "I lost you. I couldn't protect you and you were gone." His voice betrayed the sharp emotions cutting him to pieces inside. I'd never heard him sound so beaten down.

I pressed my forehead to his. "It wasn't your fault." He was silent and this time I squeezed him. "This wasn't your fault."

He kissed my neck and whispered something I couldn't hear. I was going to ask him to repeat himself, but he said, "I got you back."

"I feel like there's a 'but' coming," I said quietly.

"No buts. We have work to do, but it can wait," he said, kissing my nose and then my eyelids.

Now that we'd opened the can, my curiosity got the better of me. I opened my eyes and pushed on his shoulder slightly so he'd pull back a little. "Did you find anything helpful to give us a start? A lead, a contact?" He paused, a hesitant look on his face. "This is my life, Ranger, and I've lost so much of it. I lost all that time with you and that hurts more than just about everything else," I said. "Please don't hide things from me. We'd finally gotten past it."

"There's not much right now. Tank's bringing everything we've found," he murmured, tucking my head under his chin.

"Tank?" I asked as excitement to see my friend fluttered in my chest.

"Yeah." He kissed the top of my head. "Let's sleep." He kissed me, sliding his tongue against mine for several minutes, and then moved his leg between mine. I hooked mine over his thigh and our arms settled into comfortable places around each other. "Missed you," he said quietly.

I nodded, unsure of what to say. I'd missed him, but it wasn't the same and we both knew it.

…

In the morning, I woke up with a smile on my face and Ranger's possessive embrace around me. Since he was still sleeping, I took time to process the previous day and last night. For the first time since waking at the hostel, I really understood how much everything had afflicted him. I knew he would have mourned, but seeing it firsthand was an eye opener. Even when we were in a relationship, he hadn't clung to me. We'd start out holding each other, but would eventually move into our sleep positions. Last night, he'd never once let go of me. His mouth and hands were reverent in his lovemaking, as if he were memorizing everything about me all over again.

Unable to sleep, I'd smiled when he woke in the middle of the night, his fingertips trailing down my cheek, neck, and body. My brain finally settled down enough to sleep, but shortly after I woke because he'd called out to me. He was asleep with a slight frown on his lips. I kissed it away and stroked his cheek and whispered that I was okay, wishing I could undo the past and take away his pain.

Now, as he woke up, his fingers twitched and his arms contracted around me, pinning me against his body. Heavy lids opened and a lazy smile spread across his face. He kept his eyes open as he dipped his head down to kiss me. "Morning, babe."

"Morning, Ranger."

He bent his head to nip my collarbone. "Shower?"

"That depends. Is this a solo or group activity?" I narrowed my eyes and gave him a sly look.

He nipped my earlobe and whispered, "I have plans for you." Then he lifted me out of bed and carried me to the bathroom. I decided after that experience I'd never look at showering the same way again.

While we were still drying off, I heard the door to the suite open and snapped my towel lightly at Ranger. "You said we had time before Tank came."

"That was before round two."

"Round two wasn't my idea! Ranger, I have no clothes here," I hissed.

"You do, I arranged with Arnaud to have our things dropped off." His lips twitched when I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Yo!" Tank's voice boomed out.

Ranger lifted an eyebrow at me and sauntered out into the bedroom, calling, "Tank."

I towel dried my hair and finger combed it into some semblance of submission while I waited for clothes, fighting the anxious excitement of seeing Tank again, especially after our phone conversation.

He returned two minutes later with my suitcase in hand. "I'd hurry."

I rolled my eyes and bent down to release the latches. Ranger gently lifted my chin with his knuckle. I stopped moving and looked up at him. We stared at each other in silence. The conversation needed no words. He apologized that it was time for business and I let him know I understood. Slowly, he leaned down to kiss my forehead in thanks, then he left the bathroom. I returned to my task of digging through my clothes and pulled out a pair of beige linen shorts and a knit camisole in lavender with a built in bra. After quickly dressing, I headed out to the living room.

Tank's large, hulking figure loomed in the center of the room. I stared up into dark eyes, taking in the massive bulk of the monster torso in front of me. We both stared at each other for a moment. Finally, I breathed "Hey" in a quiet voice.

He blinked and I saw moisture in his eyes, though he tried to hide it. He looked at Ranger. "Look away, man." He crossed the room and pulled me into a huge bear hug, then pressed a loud, smacking kiss to my lips that shocked me all the way to my toes before he set me back down. "Sweetness, I can't believe it's you. It was hard to believe the other day—"

"What the hell?"

I heard a familiar, but astonished, voice from behind Tank and leaned to the side to see Lester standing at the door to the suite, having just come in, with a stunned expression on his face, hands hanging limply to his sides. He was frozen in place and not a muscle twitched. Tank, with a smug look on his face, turned slightly toward him to say, "Told you this trip would be worth it, didn't I?"

Lester finally raised a hand and pointed at me. "She's…"

Tank nodded and a huge grin replaced the serious look from a moment ago. "Alive."

I stepped around Tank and held up my arms. Lester charged toward me and scooped me up into a tight hug. He kissed my cheek, then closed his eyes and held me against his chest for a minute before setting me back down.

"I never expected this, Blue Eyes," Lester said.

I stepped back and looked around to see if I'd missed anyone else, but there were no others. Then I looked at Tank and asked, "You didn't tell him?"

He shrugged. "Thought it would be easier for the man to see for himself."

When I looked back at Lester and smiled, he gave a quick shake to his head in disbelief, then looked at Ranger, Tank, and finally back at me for a second before turning to look at Ranger again. "All right, I want to know what the fuck is going on."

Ranger indicated to the seating area and we followed him. There were two small armchairs, a large square coffee table, a couch, and a couple of floor lamps. Tank awkwardly squeezed into one of the chairs, dwarfing it. Lester took the other leaving the couch open. Ranger and I sat down and he surprised me by taking my hand even though he was in business mode.

Ranger looked at Lester. "Tank give you any assignments, yet?"

Lester shook his head and said, "No. In fact, I'd just started to hound him about what the hell you needed me for in Paris."

I gave a start at Lester's speech. No one ever talked to Ranger that way, at least none of his men. Ranger acknowledged my shock and said, "Lester no longer works for me. Technically."

"What? Why?" I looked at Lester and then to Ranger with my eyebrow raised, confused as to why Lester would leave RangeMan.

Ranger cleared his throat and said, "Because, I took a military career and left Trenton. I still own RangeMan, but I'm not involved with the business anymore."

His statement disoriented me for a moment, but then I remembered the phone call in Madge's office. "Warrant Officer," I murmured. "What is a Warrant Officer, anyway? When I first heard it, I thought it had to do with bond enforcement."

"Supervisory position with Special Ops. I conduct some tactical training and consult on operational plans."

I soaked that information in and then leaned back against the seat. "I can't believe you re-enlisted. You never had plans to do that … before."

"That was before."

Shit. I couldn't go there again right now so I sucked in a slow breath through my teeth and looked at Lester. "But you still work for RangeMan."

With a nod, he said, "Tank is the Interim CEO. At least until Ranger's contract is up. Some people are hoping he'll come back." It was obvious he wasn't one of them. Curious.

I flicked a glance at Tank and gave him a half smile, then faced Ranger. "Why?"

He turned toward me, eyes not fully meeting mine and masked to cover his emotions, but the memories of him calling out to me in his sleep last night reminded me just how much he'd suffered. "Just needed to leave town for a while."

"After I died," I said, completing the sentence.

He didn't answer me and I didn't need an answer. His actions said everything. He'd told me he had no life to move on with yesterday on the boat. He'd redirected his life as a result of losing me. A faint memory replayed in my head. A night not long after we started dating.

"Why me?"

"What?"

I smiled against his chest. We were on my lumpy couch, snuggling together in the dark, just body heat and heartbeats. "You could have any woman, more than one. I could name a few who'd be only too happy to see you naked."

His arm tightened around my shoulders and I felt his lips graze the top of my head. "You wanted more than a naked mercenary."

I squeezed him. "Yep. I wanted the man."

His voice had turned almost melancholy then. "You're the only one for me, babe. If I lost you, it'd all go up in smoke."

He'd proven he meant every word with the choices he made when he thought I died. "I don't know whether to be flattered or to tell you what a stupid fuck you are." My voice was soft, but serious. His eyes widened fractionally and I heard light coughs from Tank and Lester.

"God, Blue Eyes, you're still ornery as ever. I missed having you around," Lester said.

I waved his comment off and leaned forward, elbows on my knees. "Tell me all about home. How's my family? Mary Lou? Lula? RangeMan?" My demand was met with an awkward silence. I waved my hand in the air across their lines of vision. "Uh, guys?"

Tank sighed and started. "Looks like I'm it…" His words triggered a strong bout of apprehension in me. "First, everyone you know is still at RangeMan, except Bobby." He gulped and lowered his eyes to the table. "He was shot in the line of duty going after a skip and didn't make it."

I jerked in surprise. Not Bobby. I lowered my head and gave it a small shake as remorse rolled through me. I didn't want to believe it, but the proof was in the silence surrounding me, that unmistakable respect for a fallen comrade.

"Who shot him?" I asked.

Lester spoke up quietly. "Doesn't matter, it was the last thing he did."

I looked sharply at him and he shrugged. "He got his shot off same time as Bobby got his off. Died instantly. Bastard." The way he clenched his jaw made it clear the guy was lucky he'd died so quickly. Lester rubbed his jaw and sat up. "Some good stuff happened, too."

Ranger and Tank seemed to relax. I understood. It hurt to think about Bobby and realize I'd never see his quirky smile again or hear him tease me as we sparred. I swallowed the lump in my throat and croaked, "Oh? Like what?"

"Uh, Lula and I got married," Tank said quietly.

I smiled, happy for both of my friends despite the delay in my own happiness. "Seriously? Wow. What about the cats?"

He shrugged. "Gave a few away to friends, kept two. I let her pick."

I couldn't help laughing. "That's great. Glad you guys got back together." Then I frowned as a disturbing thought hit me. "Did you tell her where you were going?"

Tank sobered. "No, I didn't want to get her hopes up in case, uh—"

No explanation needed there. "Okay," I said, "but, damn, you're going to have hell to pay when she finds out."

He gulped and nodded, then changed the subject, "Uh, Connie is married to an accountant. New guy that moved to Trenton at Christmas. They have a kid on the way."

"Wow." Literally, wow. Connie married and to an accountant? I couldn't picture the scenario in my head at all. And the whole baby thing? I shuddered. The thought of motherhood still scared me and I struggled to put the words 'Connie' and 'mother' together in the same sentence. "She still working for Vinnie?"

"No. Harry shut down the business, so Vinnie and Lucille moved to Florida. They couldn't get anyone worth a shit to get skips for him, couldn't afford RangeMan's prices," he said. With a shrug, he muttered, "You weren't around, so we weren't around."

"Couldn't have happened to a better guy," I said and was met with three gorgeous male smiles, something I could definitely get used to seeing again on a regular basis.

"We do bonds at RangeMan now," Tank said. "Started with a private backer, but we've been successful and hope to buy him out before the end of the year."

I beamed a huge smile at him. "Good for you. I always thought RangeMan might as well incorporate bonds with its services. Nice to know you did and it worked out."

"Never knew, babe," Ranger said.

"Just thoughts in my head," I said. I tapped my temple with my index finger. "You don't know all of them." This brought a round of snickers which he silenced with a look. At least they still respected him on some level.

"And Morelli's still in New York," Tank said. "Too bad, too. Trenton could use a good cop like him, though Eddie got promoted to Morelli's old detective spot and he's doing well."

My smile widened and then my lip trembled slightly. Eddie and I had been good friends and I would have loved to congratulate him, take him out for pizza and beer. I decided I'd still do it … as soon as I got home. "That's great. I'm proud of him."

I paused before asking, "Does anyone know how Mary Lou was, you know, after … uh, everything?"

He shook his head. "About as bad as you'd expect. Lula, too. You know she gave up donuts and cake? Still hasn't touched them since, won't look at them. Said it just didn't feel right eating it if you couldn't anymore. I thought she was gonna waste away to nothing, but luckily she didn't give up her ribs or McDonalds."

A brief smile crossed my lips. Tank liked his women with a more substantial girth to them.

He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest before saying, "Mary Lou was a wreck for a while. Lenny's mom had to go stay with them for a couple of months. I won't lie. It'll be hard when you return. Good, but difficult."

Damn. I blinked several times. The thought of my friends and family mourning like that over me both humbled and horrified me. I never wanted to have that kind of attention during life and hated that I'd gotten it after death — even if it was a fake one.

Then it hit me. "Why haven't you said anything about my family? What happened?"

Tank looked at Ranger and then I looked at Ranger. "Something's wrong."

"We weren't hiding it from you," he began.

I knew whatever he had to tell me wasn't good and stood up to pace in front of the couch, carefully avoiding the table and Ranger's feet. "I'm not going to like this, am I?" I asked, afraid to hear what he had to say.

"No."

His answer spiked my blood pressure up several notches. I didn't want more bad news, but I needed to know so I stopped in front of him, hands on my hips … waiting.

He stood up and pulled me into a gentle embrace. I held myself rigid, not allowing him to mold me against him. "There's been a death in your family."