I must apologise for the delay in chapter 3 im going to start writing more and more so i hope you enjoy and if you have any suggestions please feel free to share . :-)
Chapter 3 : The Letter to KURT .
After the last few weeks Dave had decided he needed to make amends with Kurt and had tried to think of ways to say the most difficult words he had ever spoken well not until he had told all to his family and best friend Az, But the giant weight remained on his shoulders as he hadn't made amends with Kurt.
Of the many ideas Dave one he had was to go to the Hummell house and do it in person but thought it was more likely for him to be chased away by Kurt's overly protective father Burt or his step-brother Finn. Another was to try and get in with the glee guys and get to Kurt this way but realised that they would most likely not want a bar of anything he could ever have to say and he was now left with a dead end thinking maybe it wasn't meant to happen.
Just when Dave thought there was no way he could possibly fix the mess he had gotten himself into he had a flash of brilliance he could write Kurt a letter and say all that he needed to say and this way he wouldnt have to say it face to face at least not yet anyway, this meant he could try and figure if there was any chance Kurt might be able to forgive him for all the terrible behaviour towards him the last 2 years.
Dear Kurt
I know that you are probably not interested in reading this but I feel as if owe you some kind of apology for my treatment of you over the last 2 years and this was the only way i could do this without getting into some sort of shouting match with you, as that is the last thing i wanna do I have messed you around for far too long and i am so so sorry more than you could ever know.
The shoving into the lockers, the slushie's to the face the harsh and horrible words and the threat I made to you were a result of me not being able to accept who I really was and Kurt I must make you aware I didnt do all of those things becauise i didnt like you that couldnt be further from the truth.
Ever since you came to McKinley I noticed you and seen something in you that made me think that maybe i didnt really know who i was and what i was going to be when i grew up. I know that may sound a little weird but I do admire many of your qualitys your strength your courage and your "I dont give a damn what you think " attitude. but somewhere i forgot that you were a person and i labled you with all sorts of names that have hurt you and upset you and especially seeing as how deep down I was the exact same. I cant know for sure exactly why i have been so angry and nasty but I believe denial was a huge part of it.
In the most part i feel as if i was jealous of you being so comfortable with who you are and and my emotions just got cloudy and i couldnt make sense of what i was thinking that is what my councillor has told me you see i have sought help for my anger issues amongst other things and Dr Miller seems to be quite happy with how im progressing, I hope you dont mind but I had to tell him everything that i ever did to you and that includes that time in the locker room. My Family dont know im seeing this Dr and im not ready for them to be so worried but i will in time.
I have many regrets about what i have done to you and Kurt I wish i had the guts to say this to your face but i know you wouldnt want to , another reason for my behaviour is that for the last 2+ years i have had feelings that i couldnt understand for you and that i never dreamt i would ever reveal but now I have the courage to tell you. I know they can never be reciprocated but my hope is that one day you may forgive me for all that i have done and we can at least be civil if we ever meet again.
My biggest single regret was the day i threatened to kill you and i stole your mums wedding cake topper from you. You must know Kurt that I talk a big game and can be very fierce and frightning but i could never do that to anyone no matter what and you must know that i was only trying to scare you into keeping my big secret that i was so scared you would broadcast around the school but then you had gone and it was that day the reality started to hit home about what i had done and slowly i began to realise who i am and what i had done, the stick from finn and the glee guys that i got was well deserved and even then i got off lightly I even wish they had done something to teach me a lesson. but it never came and i know now they are better people for not throwing their fists around just because they were angry.
I hoped at first you were only taking a few days off but then i heard you had went to Dalton it hit me hard that i might never see you again and that really hurt to think i had scared you to the point that you couldnt even be in the same school as me , you would only have to ask my family and neighbours they would tell you that I'm not like that but at school with you something changed in me and i was a different kid not one i am proud off in any way and if i could make this up to in anyway i would i pray you know that .
So Kurt if you have managed to get this far and not chucked the letter in the bin then maybe i have a small hope of you forgiving me but I wont hold out any hope just in case you decide to ignore this infact i wouldnt blame you. I know all of this was my doing and you had no part in this other than being the one guy i wanted to be close to more than anything and I was bad and evil and i am so sorry Kurt.
I hope if you do accept my apology that one day you may come back to McKinley as your friends miss you like crazy and they just aint the same without you. I would leave you alone and guarantee nobody else would bother you if you did come back but please think about it anyway i have said enough there is so much more to tell you but this was my way of reaching out I know i am a coward for doing it this way but i felt i could be more open and honest
I hope you are well
David Karofsky
After putting the final touches to the letter a small tear trickled down dave's face and the doubt came over that maybe this would be a waste of time but he had to try and maybe Kurt would write back or something he didnt know but he decided that for the first try it was all he could do and time would tell if Kurt would forgive and move on from this. The time was now 2:30am and Dave thought he had better get some sleep as he wanted to get up early to get this in the post.
The nest morning Dave was woken by his cell phone alarm and as he reached for it he realised it was onlt 07:00am so he switched the alarm off ran into the shower quickly and then got dressed ran down stairs into the dining room and was fumbling around for an envelope big enough for his letter and the CD he was putting in with a song on it to show how he really felt (the song is "sorry seems to be the hardest word " by elton john ) and once he found an envelope he grabbed a jacket and ran out the door without even checking as the rain was on and it was heavy, Dave didnt mind much as he know how much this meant to him and as he reached the post box he pulled the envelope out of his jacket and looked at Kurts name on it and smiled at it as he posted it happy in the knwoledge he had taken the first step to fix everything with Kurt. As he walked away the rain had stopped and a large rainbow was now in the clearing sky and he went on his way with a smile knowing he hadnt felt this good in a long time.
When Dave had reached his house he walked in to see his mum in the kitchen making breakfast for his siblings Adam and Mia who were now in the living room arguing over what to watch on telly, he went in to say hi and Joan turned round to Dave and Said with a smile morning love hope your ok I heard you go out early "fancy some brekkie"? to which Dave replied "yeah I'll have some toast and cereal and a coffee mum" . Joan simply nodded and passed Dave the ceral and a cup for coffee and then came round and hugged him " Davey its nice to see you happier about the house. I like it when everyone is happy". Dave looked up and smiled "yeah mom im all good lets hope it stays that way".
Once Dave had finished breakfast he kissed his mum on the cheek and said he was gonna be out for the day with Az as they had to get stuff ready for going back to school and they had decided to make the day of it and get it done even though it was still a full 2 weeks before they went back. Joan smiled and went about the cleaning in the kitchen as Dave left the house for the 2nd time that day and when outside he was greeted by the sun shining Dave smiled and felt as if the day was going to be one of the better ones. He had to put the letter ouot of his mind for now as it would be a few days before Kurt would recieve it and could reply if he wanted to so Dave thought it best to get other things sorted till then.
A couple of days later in the Hummell house the post had been delivered and Kurt who had been up early to get ready for a day of shopping with Mercedes and Tina picked them up and quickly flicked through to see what had come there was the usual Junk mail and bills and a brown envelope for him. "strange I never get any letters " Kurt said to himself as he placed the others on the side table in the doorway. As he walked upsatirs he looked at the handwriting and seemed to recognise it and thought "why would he(dave) want to send me anything?" as a curious look appeared over his face he sat on his bed opened the envelope to find a letter as well as a cd which he put on his cd player and as the music started he thought he knew what this could contain. Instead of reading the letter he placed it on his bedside cabinet and lay on his bed and listened to the song "sorry seems to be the hardest word " he knew his inital instinct to not read the letter was wrong and he would have to at least see what it said.
As Kurt read the letter he had mixed emotions running through him Anger for the boy who had made his life a living hell and Sorrow for the same boy who had fought so many inner demons and didnt know who to turn to in his greatest hour of need. Kurt sat on his bed and wondered why David Karofksy had went to all the trouble and send the letter, what did he hope to achieve but the letter was sincere and all made sense now when thinking back to the times McKinley when David had been this monster but the boy who wrote this letter wasnt and couldnt be the same guy if he is Kurt had really not known David at all.
Now the question Kurt had to ask himself was "what do i do? do i write back and tell him how I feel or do i just ignore it ?" Kurt thought it would be best for now to keep the letter a secret and think it over just as his cell beeped and it was Blaine who had text "Kurtie... do you fancy coming out with David, Wes and I for a night at the fairground followed by a meal then a film just so we can make a night of it. let me know Bx " at this Kurt felt a pang of guilt for some reason was it because he didnt even want to confide in the guy who had given him the courage to stand up to Karofsky or because he wanted to see if the David Karofsky who wrote to him was genuine ? The answer to this Kurt knew wouldnt come to him in a flash so he decided to think about it and make his decision later. So he replied to Blaine with a resounding "yes that would be brill when do you want to do it then ? And say hi to David and Wes when you make the plans Kx " .