So, lets clear some things up, i know the conversation about KC was repeted in the last chapter. So no, that wasnt a mistake, and the situation required both POVs od that, and yeah :p

Secondly, no clare cant see Julia. HAha, sorry for the confusion :p

Disclaimer- I own my twisted ideas, not Degrassi in any size, shape, or form.

OH AND FOR ANY OF YOU THAT DIDNT KNOW, stephen stohn mentioned that there would be a promo out today, but it never came, so its gonna come out Tuesday, so yeah :D just a heads up :p

Beta Reader: Zephyr Hearts.

I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. My mind was spinning and whirling around rainbow colors throughout my vision, which making me lighter headed then I already was.

I couldn't focus on anything else at the moment; just thinking on what Clare was thinking about me was driving me insane. I was desperately trying to ignore the fact that Julia was here also, watching my every move, like she controlled me, owned me. But before she leaves, I'm determined to let her know that I still love her, but I just want to move on.

Losing Clare over something like this would probably make me more miserable then I was when I found out I could see Julia and hear her, she just wasn't here.

Clare standing next to me, utterly confused and worried about the mess in front of her that I've called home, but a more relevant name would be, my own personal hell.

Julia corrupted my thoughts, yes, but now Clare is intertwined with them; hoisting my brain in an uncomfortable yet enjoyable way.

What will happen in 5 minutes from now? Will Clare still be here, listening to me explain to her how my life was messed up before she entered it? Helping me cope even more then she already has, even though she never knew she was doing it. Or will she be running down the street, far away from me as possible and never seeing me again, in the safety and conformability of her own home?

I really hoped she would help me, but if she doesn't, then I would still keep an eye out for her safety, in case that lunatic ever comes back.

I didn't even notice how hard I was gripping onto Clare's hand for fear she would let it go, which I so desperately needed her not to.

She took a step forward with me trailing behind her, both holding onto each other's hands like our life's depended on it, but what she didn't know was I think mine did.

She did a three-sixty, and turned to me, worry lurking from her eyes.

Her eyes…

Those eyes were the things that kept me motivated, that actually made me want to get up every day, and not just sulk in my own hell. They helped me realize that I needed to let go of the past and look into my future, hopefully a bright future with Clare Edwards.

I was able to see every emotion in her eyes; they gave so much away from what she was feeling. They I which were right now saying that she was confused, concerned, and then attentive. I studied her every move, every twitch she made.

"Eli, what… how? I-," She clamped her mouth shut, and bit her lip, still studying every nook and crevice of the filthy room.

I sighed and glanced at Julia. Maybe if I told Clare my feelings, and maybe Julia will finally listen and let me move on.

I pulled Clare towards the picture of Julia I had on my dresser, and picked it up. I smiled faintly at it and glanced at Clare. She looked confused, so I held it out to her. She smiled softly and took it with the hand that wasn't occupied with mine. She studied Julia and her features before looking up at me.

"Who's this?" She questioned softly.

"That's Julia," I stated, my voice cracking, "….my ex".

She widened her eyes, but nodded as she bit her lip, completely oblivious to the fact that the girl she was staring at was in the room a mere five feet away from her.

I transferred my eyes to Julia and saw she was glaring daggers at Clare. When she noticed me looking at her, she softened her eyes, and I could clearly she the hurt in them.

"Why?" Julia asked, voice quivering.

I scrunched my eyebrows together, but then heard Clare gasp and almost drop the picture frame in her nimble hands. I looked at Clare and saw her mouth ajar, and she was staring at the wall.

"What….was that?" She breathed.

I widened my eyes immediately wondering if she heard Julia speak. I trembled with anxiety and choked on my breath.

"What was what?" I managed to say.

"I just….felt a gush of freezing air blow in my left ear." She stated.

I blinked, and glanced at Julia, who was smirking and her feet swung back and forth below her. Her smirk indicated that it was defiantly her. I glared at her, and wanted to ask her what her problem was right there, but Clare was here.

Did she like creeping Clare out?

"Weird, I never felt anything. It's probably because the windows open." I said, looking at the window.

Clare looked at the open window, which was right behind Julia, and sighed. "You're probably right, silly me."

I pulled her to my cluttered bed and sat down, pulling her down next to me.

"Julia was amazing. She was the first girl at my school that didn't think I was Goth or emo, she saw through it and looked at my personality, but she was kind of treated the same way as me."

"When I first met her, I didn't even know we went to the same school. We met in a movie theater and she was hanging out with her friends, and I was just wondering around the new town I was in. We hung out the whole day, and we're shocked to see each other's faces that Monday." I looked down at the picture, and then at Julia. She looked so much more different, like she has no energy left in her. I then noticed my hands were trembling, and Clare grasped the other one in her other hand, stroking the outside of them with her nimble thumbs.

I sniffed, but continued, "We pretty much hit if off from there, and there was nothing wrong with our relationship. Everyone liked us as a couple, and people said that we were going to last a while, and I agreed with them." I sighed, and looked down, not wanting either of the girls to see me.

"Julia was the best girlfriend anybody could ever want; she was caring and put people before her. She was never difficult to be around, and I could just be myself around her, and not have to worry about anything I say being wrong in anyway. She didn't have an attitude like those peppy cheerleaders, she lived life how she wanted to, and felt free doing it. But then, she started not getting along with her step-mom, and she grew tired of it, as did I. I couldn't just watch the happiness get drained from her like that, so I invited her to live with us, in my room, with me." I peeked up at Clare, and saw her eyes widen. I looked at Julia, who had a smirk on her face and stood proud.

I sighed, and began again, "Thing went great at first, but then she just started acting different, and just not Julia. I tried asking her what was wrong, but she just shrugged it off, and continued being distant with me. I got sick of it; I wanted to know what her deal was. So one night, I waited for Bullfrog and CeCe to leave, and I asked her what the problem was."

I glanced at Julia, for permission to go farther. I didn't know why, but I just either want permission from her, or for her not to be here when I tell Clare about it.

Julia caught on, and pounced up from the dresser she sat upon and snarled, "No."

I looked at her quizzically, but she was fading fast. This happens when she has no more energy, and needs to recover. "Eli, no! That's our business!"

Then she was gone.

A gasp.

A squeak.

A thud.

Silence.

Clare was not standing up, clenched fists, and her jaw tightened; while I lay face planted on the floor, surprised by her abrupt stance.

"Clare? What the hell?" I laughed, rolling over facing her.

"I…I don't know." She gasped. "But, I feel angry! I don't know at what though!"

I got worried, was she angry at me? Wait; no….she wouldn't be here if she was. Then I realized that Julia had the power to give emotion to people, and that it makes sense, since she just ran out of energy before Clare got "angry".

"I just have this rage building up inside me. I can't control it." Clare growled, clenching her fists harder.

I stood up in front of her, and saw her eyes were a dark shade of blue, her eyebrows furrowed, and she looked like she would snap any moment.

Was this what Julia was feeling?

"You want to use me as a punching bag?" I questioned, smirking.

"No, you're the last person I want to be mad at." She said matter-of-factly. "Hey, I wonder what my dad is doing right now…" She wondered.

I rolled my eyes, "Clare, you are not punching you're dad."

"Fine." She groaned, but smiled, indicating she was kidding.

"Eli! Clare! Dinner!" CeCe yelled.

I smiled, and motioned her to lead the way. She grinned, and walked half a step, before turning back toward me, and smacked my shoulder.

"Much better." She giggled, her eyes now the pretty baby blue that I adore so much.

I feigned hurt, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Ouch!"

She smiled victoriously, and walked down the steps. The thing she didn't know was that she did have a pretty strong arm.

I raced down the stairs, acknowledging my parents placing their homemade chicken Alfredo on the table.

I rushed to Clare's side, before she got the chance to, and slid the chair out for her. She blushed, but sat down, while I sat next to her and my parents across from us.

Everyone placed food on their plates, and began eating. I smiled as the gooey sauce made my taste buds to a competitive waltz.

CeCe gave me the look, asking me if it went okay. I nodded, but shrugged my left shoulder twice, which was the indication I always gave when I didn't want to talk about Julia. She widened her eyes, but nodded.

'I will' I mouthed to her.

She nodded, and turned her attention to Clare, who was devouring her plate.

"So, Clare, Eli tells us that you guys are English partners?" She asked, taking another bite.

Clare looked up from her plate with a noodle hanging out. She slurped it up, and nodded.

I chuckled, and drank some milk.

"You know, there's a lot of talking about you in this house hold." CeCe smiled.

I choked on my milk, and gave CeCe a look. I wiped my mouth from milk that escaped, and glanced at Clare, who was giggling softly.

"Mom." I warned.

Bullfrog smiled, "God you should've seen him a couple weeks ago! He came home, with a smile and shouted 'Mom! Dad! Guess-'"

"DAD!" I yelled. I defiantly didn't want Clare knowing that.

"Sorry, sorry. We're just happy Elis met someone else," CeCe said, looking at Bullfrog.

"Yes that we are." Bullfrog said, agreeing.

I glared at them, and cracked my knuckles under the table.

"Ugh! I'm done." Clare said, pushing her food away, breaking the noticeable silence, and placing a hand on her stomach.

CeCe smiled, "Well I'm glad you liked it, honey."

CeCe looked around the table and noticed the almost empty plated in the table. She got up, and took hers and Bullfrogs, disappearing into the kitchen.

Clare started to get up, but I stopped her, and took mine and her plates. Clare smiled, and sat back down.

When I walked by Dad, he stopped me and whispered into my ear, "does she know?"

"No, I'm going to tell her after this." I said. He nodded and got up to leave to his office down the hall.

"I gave CeCe our plates, and she smiled. "She's a keeper Eli, even though you haven't known her that long."

I smiled, and looked back at Clare, who looked extremely uncomfortable. "I know. I'm going to tell her now okay?" I asked softly.

She nodded, and placed a hand on my shoulder.

I walked back to Clare, and took her hand. I took her to the sliding glass door. I led her to the hammock that had a perfect view of the stars, and sat down.

"Lay with me." I demanded, smirking.

She smiled, and obeyed, positioning herself on me. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and smelled her intoxicating scent.

"Clare, we kind of stopped earlier, but I really need to tell you this. I understand if you don't want to be near me once you know." I whispered.

"Eli, I'm not going anywhere." She replied. "No matter what."

I took a deep breath, and began. I knew Julia didn't approve, but I needed to tell her, and Julia wasn't here.

"Well, as said, I was tired of her being so distant, so I asked her about it." I said, gazing at the sparkling twinkles in the sky.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Well, she blew up at me, and started cussing me out."

Flashback*

"Julia! All I want to know is why you've been so distant!" I screamed at her.

"Eli! I don't fucking care! Alright! Leave me alone!" She yelled back. She walked into the garage from the door that leads to it from inside the house, and slammed it shut. I then heard a loud screeching scream that cracked at the end.

I furiously walked into the garage, and stared at the girl lying flat on her back in the middle of the mostly empty garage.

"Julia, what the HELL is you're problem?" I asked, clenching my fists.

"You're my problem." She mumbled.

"How am I you're problem? You've been avoiding me! Hardly even talking to me!"

"I…..I DON'T KNOW OKAY? Just…just leave me the FUCK ALONE!" She grabbed her hair, and pulled, screaming again.

"JULIA! JULIA STOP!" when she finally did, I grabbed her hands and held them in mine.

"Julia? Please…tell me what wrong? Please!" I begged.

She shook her head violently, and pulled her hands away. "No."

"You know what Julia? I don't give a fuck! All you do is be your stubborn self all the fucking time, and never listen to me! I hate you! Leave! Leave NOW!"I yelled, and pointed to the garage door that was open.

She glared at me, and then grabbed her bike off of the wall and sped down the street.

I raked my hands through my hair, and rushed inside, slamming the door shut.

I plopped down on the couch, and ran everything that happened though my head, and decided it was stupid, and I needed her back.

I rose from my spot, and grabbed my keys. I bolted out the door, and right as I was about to open the door to Morty…

SCCCCRRRREEEEEEEKKKK!

End flashback*

"Oh my god." Clare whispered.

"She died in my arms…" I finished. "I found out later that she had some mental problems."

"I'm so, so sorry!" She said, gripping onto me more.

"It's okay, but I thought you needed to know." I whispered, running my fingers though her silky curls. "Clare, if you're not ready for a relationship after the whole Fitz thing, I'm fine with that." I told her. She sat up, and looked me in the eye.

"Eli, its fine. Just give me 24 hours to just, let everything sink in okay?" She asked.

I nodded, and smirked. What she did next shocked me. It took me a while, but I was finding myself kissing her back with as much more emotion I could muster.

Kissing her again, felt like the first time, with those same firework swirls mixing together in my stomach.

She pulled away, and looked down, trying, but unsuccessfully succeeding on hiding her blush. "Erm… sorry." She mumbled.

I chuckled, and squeezed her torso to mine. "It's okay."

She lay down again, and stared at the stars, soon drifting off to sleep.

XXX

I looked up above me, and noticed a dark figure that was staring at me intensively with bright red eyes, piercing my own. Standing above me, and shaking violently.

"Who are you?" I grumbled.

The figure laughed darkly. I knew that laugh. But the laugh I knew had so much life to it, and this one was just so dark and cracking in various places. "J-Julia?" I asked, shakily.

"You'll regret it." I heard her say. I could barely make out the words she spoke; they were so mushed together, and in a voice that would scare anyone.

She disappeared, but not before she gave me a quick kiss on my palm that sent a spark up my body paralyzing me. I couldn't move, couldn't do anything but lay there. .

I woke up suddenly, and looked around. I noticed my back porch light was on, but nothing else. My parents must have gone to bed. I looked at my hand, which had a scratch on it. I ran my finger over it, and widened my eyes when I noticed it was the same spot Julia kissed me in my dream.

Was it real?

"Clare?" I grumbled shaking the sleeping girl that was resting on my chest, arm across my torso. "Clare!"

She snapped her head up from my chest, and looked around, ribbing her eyes.

"Unless you want to sleep on an uncomfortable couch, or messy room, id advice we go to your house, if you still want me with you."

"Yes!" She answered immediately. "I mean, yeah. I'm cold. Let's go."

I smirked, and helped her struggle, but we both ended up toppling over onto the ground, with her on top of me.

"Well, hello there." I chuckled. She giggled and got up. I stood up after her, and we skipped our way inside.

After letting my parents' know, we were now on our way to Clare's house and in a comfortable silence.

She sighed, and rested her eyes, and before we both knew it, we had arrived.

Clare POV.

"Whoa, here already?" I groaned.

He chuckled, "yeah, But uh, I have to run home real quick to get some clothes and stuff. Do you think you could be okay by yourself for 5 minutes?" He asked.

No….

I didn't want to, I wanted to be with him and never let him go, but I guess it would be okay, so I could process what a hectic day this has been. Maybe I could even call Alli…

"Yeah, yeah that's good. See you in a few?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

"Definitely." He smirked.

I smiled and opened the door. I stumbled out, still in my sleepy state, and made my way to the door.

I waved my hand for him to leave, and he just smirked, and rolled his eyes at my stubbornness.

After I heard the faint blasting music descending down the street, I turned around, but widened my eyes at the sight of the cracked door.

I must have forgotten to close it all the way, I was in such a high state after that kiss.

That kiss…I smiled to myself and walked inside. I tried turning the light on, but it wasn't working.

"Weird.." I said aloud. I picked up my phone and used it as a light. I walked into the kitchen, and was surprised to find the light working in the fridge.

I groaned, and went flipping through my phone, trying to find Alli's number and shrieked when I felt a cold, firm hand lightly touch my arm.

I speed dialed Elis number and heard it ring.

"Eli!" I shrieked again, into the phone.

My phone was slapped down to the ground, breaking it, and I was pulled somewhere I wasn't capable on visualizing, mostly because I couldn't breathe.

Eli….

Ohh! so, whos hand is it? Julia's? Fitz? :O leave me you're guesses in reviews! please?

Oh, and in case you didnt know, i have a twitter! clareandeli4eva, i give hints sometimes, and little previews :p