Disclaimer: I don't own The L Word
First, Last, Forever-
-Chapter Three: Forever
"You're so beautiful."
Tina whispered the words into the night, letting them ring around the room. Beside her, Bette slept peaceful, the pale moonlight blanketing her in its beams. Carefully, so as not to disturb the woman beside her, Tina shifted, bringing her hand up so she could trace Bette's features.
It was amazing, really, to be lying here like this. After so long. She and Bette had been back together for a few weeks and the thrill of it all had yet to fade. She felt rejuvenated and young, like she had never experienced love before. Caught up in its glitz and glamour, swayed by the enticing nature that the feeling brought. And yet, Tina knew, this time the thrill would never fade. No matter where their lives took them and no matter how mundane or hectic things became; whether they were able to adopt another child or not, Tina would hold on to the love beside her forever. If they ever let go again Tina knew that they wouldn't survive, for letting go now would mean losing so much more than a partner.
In the time that they had been back together, Tina woke every night. Not out of fear or anxiety, but simply because she could. She would spend an hour or two, just like this, watching Bette sleep; relishing in what had been brought back to her. The sight before her never ceasing to amaze her, always enticing and new; yet always familiar. Always looking like home.
Lightly, she traced down Bette's soft cheek, relishing in the feel of her soft skin.
Bette never ceased to amaze Tina. She was so strong, confident, empowered; she was successful, she was respected, elegant and graceful and yet beneath it all was a woman who, Tina knew, wanted and needed nothing more than to be loved by her family. And loved she was.
Over the years, Tina had come to learn something about Bette. That no matter how stoic of a face she put on during the day; suave and smooth, at night, the façade crumbled. As she slept her features relaxed; the stress that had built up throughout the day completely disappeared. If Tina had to describe how her face looked at night in one word, it would be…soft.
In the early years of their relationship that softness only covered Bette's features when she slept. It was as if she wouldn't allow herself to let the softer side of her show during hours of light. But now, Tina had realized, the softness that encompassed Bette while she slept was beginning to guide her during the day.
Tina had noticed early that night, when Bette had been making them dinner. Tina had watched her move around the kitchen, effortlessly, as she had played on the ground with Angelica. While building a castle out of Legos for their Barbies to play in, Tina had surreptitiously watched from the corner of her eye; becoming captivated by what she saw.
Though her face was still stoic and regal, the edges seemed to have softened; as if she allowed the world a small glimpse of the worry she harbored for the things she held dear. The years had softened Bette Porter, that was for sure, but in Tina's opinion it only served to make her stronger.
The ease and grace in which Bette had moved around the kitchen surprised Tina. It wasn't as if she was cooking a meal. As she cooked, Tina noticed, Bette created. Even down to the precise cut of the knife, there was art in what Bette did. She created with her heart and her soul and her love, and Tina loved her all the more for it.
Slowly, Tina brought her hand around to Bette's nose, running it down the feature until she reached her lips. Her fingers lingered, tracing delicately.
Tina often wondered what Bette thought. It was seldom that Bette opened herself up one hundred percent. Even Tina had to pull Bette's feelings out of her at times. And yet, when Bette did express her deepest thoughts, it was worded in a way that stunned Tina. Bette even spoke beautifully.
I promise that I share your values about family and faithfulness and commitment. And that I will never, ever, cheat on you again.
The words Bette had promised her over a week ago still rang in Tina's mind. She still couldn't describe what the promise meant to her. What hearing those words had done to her soul. Even though she had known, on some level, that Bette would never tempt with their relationship in such a way again, hearing the words out loud had brought her to tears; rendering her speechless.
In those simple words, her fate had been sealed and Tina had felt a sense of calm she had never experienced before.
Carefully, Tina retracted her hand, settling into her pillow to continue her midnight observation.
The moonlight played with Bette, covering her in a haze. It was as if she was hidden and illuminated all at the same time. It left Tina breathless. She felt lucky and privileged to be the only person on earth to be able to gaze upon the sight before her.
Let me count the ways, she thought.
Tina had always known Bette was beautiful but it was times like this, bathed in moon beams, that she truly understood the beauty before her.
"You're watching me sleep."
Tina's mouth quirked when Bette spoke. Her eyes remained closed, but a smug smile graced the features across from her.
"How do you know, if you're sleeping?" Tina reasoned back.
Bette let out a quiet laugh and slowly opened her eyes. When their eyes met, Tina sighed and felt herself sink deeper into the bed.
"I could tell."
"Liar."
"You were," Bette challenged.
Tina shrugged. "Maybe."
They fell into silence. Bette reached over, caressing Tina's cheek and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Before she could retract her hand completely, Tina caught it, bringing her palm to her lips and kissing it tenderly.
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
Tina sighed, keeping Bette's palm clasped between her own. "Thinking."
"Penny for them," Bette whispered as Tina began to shower her palm with kisses, pointedly ignoring their conversation with twinkling eyes. "What were you thinking about?"
With one final kiss, Tina relinquished Bette's hand. "Everything…and nothing…and you."
Bette smirked. "What about me?" She asked, rolling onto her back and pulling Tina until she was half on top of her.
Tina pushed herself up onto one elbow, so she was hovering above Bette. "You made a promise to me," she whispered, playing with Bette's hair.
"I did," Bette responded, once again tucking a loose hair behind Tina's ear. She ran her hand across her brow, making the blonde close her eyes and sigh.
"I want to make one to you," Tina responded, opening her eyes; meeting and holding Bette's gaze.
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
Tina relaxed, staying above Bette, but allowing their bodies touch as much as possible. She ran her hand through Bette's hair once more and spoke:
"I promise to never keep you at a distance and when I'm feeling scared or uncertain; I'll come to you and let you help me find my way. I promise that when push comes to shove, I will always, always, choose you."
Tina watched as Bette's eyes brimmed with tears and she bit her bottom lip. Lightly, even more delicately then before, Tina brought her hand to Bette's face; delicately tracing the features before her, as if she were handling the most precious of materials.
And I am, she thought.
With a shaking hand, Bette grabbed Tina behind the neck and pulled her close; allowing their foreheads to rest against one another as they held their gaze. Their breathing mixed, warm and tender; their chests moving in tandem as their hearts beat as one. Tina allowed herself to completely relax into Bette and they melded together.
"I love you," Tina whispered before bringing their lips together.
They kissed. They kissed tenderly and slowly. They kissed. They kissed, letting their embrace speak the promise neither could express with words.
I love you…forever.
Fin
Author's Note: Well there you have it, I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this!
Thanks for reading!!!