CHAPTER FOURTEEN
When I opened my eyes in the morning my clock was showing seven-thirty. I was alone and for a moment my heart almost stopped until I noticed Jacob's clothes on the floor and heard water running in the bathroom. I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow as I heard him coming back, pretending to be asleep.
Jacob sat down on the bed and then after a moment he bent down and kissed my ear. His hair fell forwards over his shoulder and brushed my cheek.
"You awake?" he whispered.
I wondered what he'd do next and did my best to breathe evenly and stay still.
"Paul?" His teeth gently nipped my neck and my heartbeat quickened. My dick was already hard.
Jacob's hand touched my shoulder and ran lightly down my arm over my bicep. I grunted softly as if I was just waking and turned more onto my side. He edged his hand under the quilt and explored my chest, then my stomach, the back of his hand bumping my erection. I opened my eyes, unable to suppress a groan.
"Molesting me in my sleep?" I teased.
He snatched his hand back.
"Hey, don't stop."
I rolled onto my back, kicked the quilt off me and slid my arms around him. He tucked his hair behind his ears and leaned over to kiss me, his lips caressing mine softly. I moved my hand to the back of his neck, gripping him firmly as I thrust my tongue into his mouth. He moaned and pressed his body against mine, his erection nudging my hip. I ran my hands down his body and pulled him onto me, tucking my hands under his butt and shifting him forwards as he drew his knees up under him so that he was sitting on my thighs, his balls resting against the base of my dick. He grasped me in one hand and himself in the other and began to stroke both of us at the same time. I breathed out fast, instantly aching to fuck him. I reached out for the lube and squirted some onto the end of his hard-on and then mine. He spread it down both shafts, gasping and biting his lip as the slippery fluid coated him. I grinned and watched him for a moment, then put my hands on his hips and pulled him forward again, lifting him up slightly. He rested one hand on the bed next to my head and guided my dick with the other, teasing himself with it and tormenting me as I ached to be inside him. At last he guided me into him and sank down gradually until I was enveloped in his tight heat.
"Fuck," I hissed. I was never going to get used to how good he felt. I wrapped my hand around his erection and began to pump it slowly as he slid up and down on mine. I felt like I could last longer with him sitting on me, but I wasn't so deep in him as before. Then suddenly he stopped moving and pushed my hand off him.
"Can we do it the other way? It feels better..."
I grinned up at him and he began to slide off me.
"Woah, stay there," I said.
I wrapped one arm around his waist, my hand on his butt and held him tight against me as I rolled over. Suddenly I was on top, his knees pulled up either side of me, my dick about halfway in him. I thrust forward firmly and his head rolled back.
"Oh, God...yes!" he groaned.
I began to fuck him, hard, pounding myself into him, pinning him to the mattress beneath me and he moved with me, holding onto me tight, groaning and swearing until we came together in just moments. I stopped moving and stayed in him, panting for breath and staring into his eyes as he looked up at me.
"I love you," I gasped. "So much."
"I love you too."
I pulled myself away from him reluctantly a minute later and once again we showered together. Then we made coffee and toast and I glanced at the clock repeatedly, wishing it would stop working its way around past nine and on towards noon. I didn't want him to leave; I didn't know how I would stand it.
We spent the rest of the morning just lounging about cuddling and talking and listening to music until we heard Sam's truck outside and Jacob jumped up nervously.
"I should probably go," he said.
"You don't have to. They don't mind you being here."
"Yeah, but they know I stayed, it's kind of...I don't know..." He went red.
I grinned. "Don't worry about it, really."
The door opened a second later and Sam came in.
"Hey, guys."
"Hey," I said. "How was the show?"
"So so." Sam wiggled his hand to indicate he hadn't been that impressed. "Em liked it, which was the point of going."
Emily walked in now. "He didn't like it, did he?" she said, punching Sam in the arm. "He told me he was enjoying himself. Big liar." She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.
The pair of them were so wrapped in each other that Jacob relaxed and sat down again, apparently no longer uncomfortable. Emily made everyone some lunch and later, Jacob and I went back to his place and worked on the bike for the afternoon, then spent the evening keeping Billy company for a while before we went back to the workshop and fooled around with hands and mouths. I resolved to get another bottle of lube to keep there for the future.
There had been no pack meeting that day, but Sam had talked to Jared on the phone about Embry and decided it would be a good idea to bring him over to the house the next weekend and talk to him. It was clear he was going to be next. I almost told Sam I thought Jacob was right on his heels, but I still wasn't sure whether he looked any different or if I imagined it. I decided I would just keep a close eye on him; I saw more of him than anyone else after all.
Throughout the week at school, Jared and I both watched Embry. He complained he was hot several times and lost his temper once, when he caught me looking at him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Paul? You've been gawking at me all day!" he barked.
"No, I haven't," I said mildly.
"Yeah, you have. What is it? Jacob not enough for you, you want me as well?"
"Calm down, Embry, I'm not after your ass," I said.
Jacob glanced from him to me and back again, frowning. Embry glared at Jacob now.
"Don't worry, you're not going to have to share, I'm straight!" he sneered.
"Embry, cool it," Jared put in. "I was looking at you too; you just look like maybe you're coming down with something, that's all."
"Maybe I am, I'm fucking burning up," Embry grumbled. "Just stay out of my way, all of you." He turned and walked off.
"What the hell was all that?" Quil said.
"I don't know, he's been weird all week," Jacob sighed.
Jared and I looked at each other and I pulled my phone out to send Sam a text message. It was Thursday. Sam sent a message back telling me he would ask Jared to bring Embry to the house first thing on Saturday morning - we would talk to him then. Jared received a text a moment later.
"Shit," I muttered when I had read mine.
"What?" Jacob looked at me.
"Sam needs me for some stuff on Saturday."
"Paul, I'm sure you can tear yourselves away from each other for a few hours," Jared said. "You two are like a pair of lovesick puppies."
"Fuck off!" I growled.
Embry's temper had rubbed off on me and now being told I couldn't be with Jacob every minute on Saturday only made matters worse. I wanted to punch something. I walked away from them all, breathing deep and trying to make myself calm down. I was blowing things way out of proportion.
"Paul, are you ok?" Jacob had followed me.
"Stay away from me!" I snapped.
His eyes widened and filled with hurt.
"Sorry." He backed away, then turned and went off on his own, avoiding the others.
"Oh, shit, I groaned. "You fucking jerk, Paul!"
I could feel his pain; it was almost as if someone had rammed a knife into my chest. I hurt Jacob and I couldn't stand it. My anger immediately subsided and was replaced by misery. I ran after him.
"Jacob! Jake, wait!"
I caught him up and grabbed his arm. He stopped and turned to look at me. He looked as miserable as I felt.
"I'm sorry," I said.
"Did I do something wrong?" He bit his lip. "You don't really like Embry, do you?"
"God, no," I grimaced. "You didn't do anything. I'm an asshole. You said yourself Embry's being weird, that's why I was looking at him. I'm just pissed because of Sam having one of his damned family 'things' on Saturday when I want to be with you. I'm sorry." I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. For a moment he didn't move, but then he hugged me back. "I love you," I whispered in his ear. "Nothing's going to change that."
I drew back a few inches and kissed him. Curious - I didn't lower my head to kiss him, I just kissed him and his lips were right in front of mine. He was taller.
"Guys, break it up, Jesus," Quil said suddenly. I looked up and found Quil and Jared both standing a few feet away. Jacob laughed and I let go of him reluctantly.
The rest of the day dragged. I called Sam on the way home and then went straight to Jacob's house for a few hours. I still felt like a shit for snapping at him even though he seemed to have forgotten about it and I didn't want to leave him until I absolutely had to. I stayed until nine forty-five and then ran home.
Embry didn't go to school on Friday. He called Quil to say he was sick. Jared and I exchanged glances when Quil told us and I immediately wondered how long Embry had before he actually phased. It didn't seem like long. Sam's get together on Saturday was probably going to be a good thing after all.
I stayed out late with Jacob again on Friday night, knowing I wouldn't see him on Saturday certainly until the afternoon. Jared brought a sour-tempered Embry over around nine o'clock. He had apparently argued all the way that he didn't see why after all this time his half brother had some desire to get to know him and would rather have spent the day in bed sulking. He was still complaining of a fever and was wearing only jeans and a t-shirt like the rest of us. We took him outside and walked across the meadow towards the woods as Sam talked to him, Jared and me following a few yards behind. He seemed so wound up we didn't want to risk him phasing in the house.
Surprisingly, he took the news that he would shortly become a wolf pretty well. He knew the legends of course - everyone did on the reservation - but he had thought they were only that. The discovery that his sudden growth, temperature and unexplainable rages were all a symptom of that relieved him immensely.
None of us phased, although later I struggled not to. Sam took us all back to the house to hang out and talk some more and I constantly fidgeted and looked at the clock, aching to be with Jacob. I grabbed my phone to text him, but I was out of credit.
"Cool down, Paul," Sam said once.
I did my best, but by the time Jared and Embry left I was wound up like a coiled spring. I sprinted out of the house and galloped off to Jacob's house, passing the other two walking. I guessed Jacob would be working on the bike, but when I got there the workshop was closed. I ran to the house and knocked on the door. Billy opened it a couple of minutes later.
"Hey, Billy. Is Jacob here?" I asked.
"No, he went over to Quil's a while ago."
"Oh." My heart plummeted.
"I guess you can catch up with them there," Billy said.
"Where does he live?" I asked.
"Do you know where Embry lives?"
"Yes.
"Quil's house is the opposite end of the street on the other side," Billy said. "Large two storey building with a red door."
"Thanks," I said. "I'll go over there." I said goodbye to Billy and trotted away again, cursing my stupid phone for having no credit.
Ten minutes later, Quil's mother advised me that he and Jacob had gone out, but she didn't know where. I was completely gutted. It was ridiculous, because I knew I'd see him soon enough, even if I had to go and sit on his doorstep and wait for him to get home, but I felt as if a huge hole had been punched through me. It hurt like hell and made me feel sick. I walked away from Quil's and then began to run home, feeling my heart pounding and my blood rushing in my ears. My temper rose and I veered off the road towards the woods, running faster and faster. It was dusk and no one would see me. I let myself go, phasing as I ran, my clothes exploding off me into little pieces.
I bounded on, snarling and snapping at nothing as I went. I ran and ran, my heart aching, until I finally slowed at the foot of the Rockies when my paws landed on snow. Then the realisation that I was probably a couple of hundred miles away from Jacob filled me with a fresh wave of anxiety. I almost let out a howl of anguish, but managed to change it to a growl before it emerged and brought Sam and Jared racing to me. I had worked myself up into such a state that I wasn't even fit to see Jacob and I decided the only thing I could do was ignore the pain and make my way back to La Push slowly to give myself time to calm down.
I loped along, forcing myself not to break into a gallop until some hours later I passed Forks and then the outline of La Push appeared out of the darkness. Judging from the position of the moon, it was probably after midnight and Sam was going to be mad as hell. Great.
The house lights were off and I thought for a moment I might have got away with it. I sat on the porch for a few minutes until I was calm enough to phase back, then slipped inside. Not a sound - Sam and Emily must be in bed. I tiptoed to the kitchen to get some water and grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist, just in case Emily happened to get up and see me.
"Where have you been?"
Sam's rumbling voice came from behind me and I almost dropped the glass I was holding before I turned around. He closed the door quietly and leaned against it.
"I...uh...I thought you'd gone to bed," I said.
"I was in the lounge waiting for you."
"Sorry. I was upset. I phased and I couldn't change back," I said.
"Upset about what?"
"Nothing much."
"Paul, you have to keep better control of yourself," Sam said. "You can't phase over the slightest little thing; you're going to end up doing it at school or something."
"Sorry," I said again. "I'll be fine."
Sam sighed heavily and stared at me for another moment. Then he opened the door again.
"Go to bed," he said and went off to his room.
I went to bed, but I didn't sleep. I tossed and turned, longing for Jacob and wondering if I dared get up again and use the landline telephone to call him. Then Sam and Billy would both be mad with me. I tossed and turned some more and just waited until it was time to get up.
I should have been exhausted, but by the time I got out of bed I was pumped with energy. I showered quickly, ran over to the gas station to get credit for my cellphone and then went to Jacob's. Although it was barely eight o'clock, he was already in the workshop, fitting a fuel tank to the bike.
"Hey," he said, looking up briefly. He didn't stop what he was doing.
"I missed you yesterday," I said.
"I thought you were busy."
"Yeah, I got away as soon as I could and came over here, but your Dad said you were out with Quil. I would have called, but I was out of credit."
"Me and Quil went down to the beach," Jacob said. "We stopped by Embry's house to get him, but his Mom said he was at your place."
"Yeah, Sam wanted to spend some time with him," I said.
"And Jared too?"
"He turned up with Embry," I said quickly. I hated this. He knew something was going on and I just wanted to blurt it all out rather than keep on bullshitting him.
"Ok." He looked away from me and carried on with what he was doing. "Don't you have to be at home on Sundays?"
"Not today."
"Well, I really want to get this finished," Jacob said. "I guess you can help though, if you want."
"Of course I'll help."
I was filled with anxiety and nerves. I couldn't blame him one bit for being cool towards me, but the pain inside me wasn't diminishing just from being in his company. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and kiss him and tell him I loved him, but I just knew I wasn't going to get a favourable reaction at that moment. I did the best I could to swallow my feelings and helped him work on the bike.
Hours passed and we barely spoke, but gradually the atmosphere seemed to warm up. When Jacob went to fetch some sandwiches from the house and we sat on the couch to eat them, he even smiled at me. I grasped his hand and squeezed it.
"I'm sorry," he said. He put his plate down and turned towards me. "I'm not being very friendly."
"I can understand that."
"Yeah, but it's only making me miserable."
He leaned against me and pressed his face into my neck. I slid my arms around him at once and hugged him tight.
"It killed me yesterday, not being with you," I said. "I love you. It hurts like hell when I can't see you."
"Me too," Jacob whispered. "I guess I just felt left out."
I hugged him tighter and then drew back a few inches to kiss him. Nothing was going to keep me from him again, I told myself. Not even Sam.