CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I spent the rest of the day with Jacob, only dragging myself away at the last possible minute so that I arrived home exactly at ten o'clock.

We had finished the bike except for adding a few accessories and filling it up with gas and oil and we ate microwaved dinners with Billy before returning to the workshop for the evening. Strangely, as desperate as I had been to get my hands on him since the previous Sunday, all I wanted to do was hold him. We lay on the couch together, cuddling and kissing for hours until I had to leave.

I hadn't slept in two days and the minute my head hit the pillow I was dead to the world, only waking again when Sam knocked on my door and shouted that I would be late for school if I didn't move my ass. I got up in a foul mood and raced into the shower, pulled my school clothes on and flew out of the door without even picking up my rucksack.

The day from hell began the minute I arrived at school, mostly down to my temper although I found I was blaming that on Embry. He hadn't even done anything wrong. He couldn't help his genes or the fact that he was about to phase, but nevertheless, he had been the cause of part of my weekend being screwed up.

With no bag and no books, obviously I had no homework to hand in either, not that I had done it what with everything else that had happened. My English teacher immediately assigned me an hour's detention after school and then because I swore under my breath and he heard me, he added an hour for Tuesday too. I sulked and simmered for the rest of the class and barely spoke to the other guys in the short break after.

History was no better. The teacher, Mr Richards, was even less impressed by my lack of homework than the English teacher had been and advised me I would be in detention after school.

"I already got detention after school," I grunted, my sulky mood turning to temper again.

"Then you'll have detention tomorrow too."

"Try Wednesday!" I snapped.

"Paul..." Jacob said softly, nudging my arm with his elbow.

"Mr Lahote, try to remember your manners as well as your homework in the future! You'll have detention for the rest of the week in the meantime."

"Fuck," I muttered.

"Sshh," Jacob hissed.

Behind us, Embry snorted with laughter.

"Outside, now!" Mr Richards ordered.

"Who? Me or him?" I retorted, jerking my thumb over my shoulder at Embry. I couldn't seem to control myself.

"Paul, get out. Wait for me outside the Head's office."

Embry sniggered. Much as I was tempted to turn around and hit him, I got up and stalked out of the classroom, slamming the door behind me. I knew I could have reined it in if I tried hard enough, but everything seemed to be getting to me. It wasn't just Embry; it was the whole situation with Jacob. It killed me that I couldn't tell him what was going on and I guessed it would only be a matter of time before he got more suspicious about what I got up to with Sam, Jared and now Embry.

I didn't go to the Head's office. I stormed off onto the football field which wasn't currently being used and trudged up and down until the lunch break started. Then I made my way back towards the buildings to look for Jacob. He was with the others and when they saw me, they headed towards me.

"You're in heaps of trouble, Mr Richards went looking for you," Embry said.

"I don't care."

"You're nuts, it's like you want detention or something," he went on.

"Shut up, Embry."

"No one wants detention," Quil put in.

"Paul, calm down," Jared said under his breath.

"I am calm!"

"Yeah, don't lose it here, for God's sake," Embry said.

I couldn't believe it. Sam had practically gagged me and here was Embry, dropping hints the size of Texas to everyone. At least that was what it seemed like to me. I threw my fist out before I could think about the consequences and hit him in the jaw. He staggered slightly, but that was all. Then he launched himself at me.

"Stop it! Christ!" Jared shoved himself between the two of us and forced us apart. "Cool it. Both of you."

I backed off and Jacob stepped closer to me.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm behaving like a dick, I know." I put my hand on his neck and squeezed gently.

"Can't be hard, you are a dick!" Embry spat at me from the other side of Jared.

"Enough!" growled Jared.

I glanced at Embry, who appeared to be sneering and I knew I had to get away before I lost control. I just couldn't get myself together and it was all over virtually nothing. I turned and came face to face with Mr Richards, which was the last straw.

"Paul Lahote! I told you to wait for me outside the Head's office!" he exclaimed, grabbing me roughly by the back of my jacket. "Let's go."

"Take your hand off me."

"Paul, please," Jacob said.

My chest was filling with heat and my legs started to feel as if they didn't belong to me. I shrugged the jacket off, leaving it in the teacher's hands and fled. I wasn't going to get very far and I burst into the sports block which was always empty at lunch times. I just made it into the toilets before I phased and then I prowled up and down, growling, my claws clicking on the tiled floor. A moment later I heard Jared's voice outside.

"Paul, Jesus, you have to get it together. Back up, I'm coming in."

I went to the far end of the small room and sat down in front of the third cubicle. The door opened a moment later and Jared came in, closing the door behind him and leaning on it.

"I can't even imagine what's going on with you," he said. "You know, you can talk to me, or Sam, maybe we can help. If you want to call me later...I don't know." He shrugged. "Look, you have to calm down and change back. I managed to get the others to go on and wait in the food hall, but I don't think Jacob's going to stay there long, he's pretty upset."

I stood up and snarled.

"I'm going to find you something to wear," Jared went on. "Then you'll have to go home, otherwise Richards is going to come after you."

I nodded slowly, mentally kicking myself. Now I was going to have to leave school without even seeing Jacob. Jared said he was upset and I sank bank onto the floor miserably. All of it was my own stupid fault.

I phased back quickly and then retreated into one of the toilet cubicles in case anyone came in. I closed the door, put the seat down and crouched on it with my feet up. The outer door opened again a couple of minutes later, footsteps entered and then paused.

"Paul?"

"Yeah." I opened the door.

"Here. It's the best I could find." He threw me a football shirt, shorts and sneakers.

"Thanks." I began to dress quickly. "I'm sorry. I just lost it."

"I know, that was clear." Jared leaned back against the door again. "What's going on with you?"

"It's Jacob," I said.

"You two having problems?" he asked.

"Yeah. No, not like that. I just hate lying to him. It's killing me. He knows something's going on that he's left out of."

"It's not going to be for much longer, Paul, he shot up about two inches in the last couple of weeks and his muscles are growing. I thought you would have noticed; I'm sure you look at him more closely than I do."

I snorted, despite my distress. "Yeah, I just wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking." I groaned then. "Is he really upset?"

"He's just worried about the trouble you're going to be in when Richards catches up with you."

"Shit!" I said, suddenly remembering I'd left my jacket in the teacher's hands. "My cellphone was in my jacket; Richards has it."

"Here." Jared passed me his own cellphone. "I'll get it back for you later. If you want me, send a text to your own number."

"I don't know my own fucking number," I grumbled.

"It's in my phone," Jared sighed. "So is Jacob's just in case you're wondering."

"Ok. Sorry. Thanks," I muttered. I couldn't seem to get my head organised.

"Do you need bus fare?" Jared asked then.

"I guess..."

He dug a dollar out of his pocket and handed it to me.

"Ok, let's get out of here before you're caught."

He opened the door, peered out and established no one was around, then beckoned to me. Once we got outside the building we spotted Mr Richards and the Head immediately, marching purposefully across from the main school building.

"Go."

Jared gave me a shove and I sprinted off at once towards the gates. I reached the bus stop without incident and luckily a bus was just pulling up. I bought a ticket to La Push and went to sit at the back where I fiddled with Jared's cellphone, wondering what I could possibly say to Jacob in a text that would be sufficient to explain my behaviour. I couldn't think of a thing and decided all I could do was wait until he got home from school and talk to him in person.

Instead, I tapped out a message to Jared. 'Thanks for helping me. Sorry for everything. Paul.' Then I spent several minutes searching through his list of contacts for his own name before I realised I was supposed to be sending it to myself.

I groaned aloud and then grimaced as a couple of people on the bus turned to look at me. I just hoped Jared had managed to get my phone back from Mr Richards. Obviously he had. His phone vibrated in my hand and a message popped up.

'No problem. Got your phone. Speak later. J.'

I relaxed marginally, but it didn't make me feel any better about Jacob. In addition, I still had to explain myself to Sam. I got off the bus an hour later and walked slowly home, dreading getting there. However, when I arrived the truck was missing and only Emily was in the house.

"Paul! What are you doing back?" she exclaimed. She was in the process of making some kind of meal, presumably for dinner that evening. I sat down at the kitchen table.

"I'm in so much trouble," I moaned.

"I don't suppose your teachers were too pleased that you forgot your homework," she said. "You left your bag," she added when I looked at her in surprise.

"Oh...yeah. That was the start of it." I went on to tell her about the detentions from the English and history teachers, my fight with Embry and my phasing in the sports block toilets.

"Oh, dear," Emily put in once or twice as she listened. Then when I finished: "What brought all this on?"

Before I had time to respond, Sam came in and I had to start again from the beginning. He was less than pleased by the day's events and finished by saying it would be best if I didn't go back to school. He would go in person and speak to the Head himself, saying that he would see to it that I studied at home and took my exams in the summer.

"No!" I exclaimed. "I have to go to school!"

"Oh, you like school?" Sam smiled at last.

"It's ok. At least I get to see..." I stopped with a groan.

"...Jacob all day," he added. "Look, from what you've said I doubt they're going to want you back. Swearing in class, fighting, running away from your teacher and leaving in the middle of the day. Anyway, you already proved you're not safe to be there any more. What started all this?"

"I just felt crap to begin with," I said. "It's all my own fault. I couldn't control myself."

"Well, you're going to have to learn to. Jared can handle it, but what if you lose it with Jacob? Have you thought about that?" He glanced at Emily, a look of guilt and misery crossing his face.

"It won't happen," I said. "I won't let it. Anyway, he'll join the pack soon. He's changing. Jared noticed too. He's taller, his muscles are growing; just in the last week or so."

Sam nodded thoughtfully. "Let's deal with one thing at a time. Bring him over here at the weekend. First, school. I'll go now." He went out and a moment later the truck disappeared up the street.

I pulled out Jared's phone and sent him a message to say Sam was on his way in to speak to the Head and take me out of school.

'Lucky s.o.b. Wish Sam was fostering me, might be tempted to do same to get out of it.'

I didn't feel lucky. I felt like everything was going wrong and it was all my own doing. I went to my room and stayed there until Sam returned. He reported that he had spoken to the Head and told him I was having some personal problems, resulting from my violent father's influence and that he thought it best I be schooled at home in the future. The Head, who had been planning to suspend me, was only relieved and took Sam to my locker to collect my belongings.

"I saw Jared for a minute too; he's coming over after school to bring your phone back," he added.

I nodded. "Thanks, Sam. I'm sorry for all this."

He grinned. "You won't thank me in a minute. I'll be arranging for a tutor to come here every weekday morning to make sure you pass your exams in May. You will do the work, whatever problems you're having. And you'll work for me in the afternoons. I was going to take on a part-time worker anyway. I'll deduct the cost of the tutor out of your wages."

"Ok," I said meekly. I wasn't going to argue with him about anything at that moment - unless he tried to keep me away from Jacob. He was still standing by me, even after all the trouble I was making for him. I figured I would probably like working with him. He made furniture - fancy tables and cabinets and all manner of things, large and small. I imagined doing something like that would be pretty satisfying, making something out of nothing; kind of like Jacob fixing dead bikes and cars. I always knew learning about World War II wouldn't do me any good.

"You're going to pay me?" I added in surprise, having only just registered his last sentence.

"Don't get too excited, it won't come to much after the tutor takes his chunk out of it."

"I'll work hard, I promise," I said. I intended to pass the exams, if only to please him.

I went to take a shower and put on some of my own clothes, glancing at the clock every few minutes as I waited for school to finish. I knew I should have sent Jacob a text at least, but I just couldn't think of anything to say. I would race over to see him as soon as he was home.

I finally got ready to go out fifteen minutes after I knew the bus would have arrived in La Push, but just as I was shoving my feet into my boots, Jared knocked on the door. I opened it and discovered Embry was with him.

"Hey," Jared said.

Sam appeared immediately and stood next to me as if he expected me to act up again. I guess I couldn't blame him.

"Here's your phone." Jared handed it to me and I gave him his own back.

"Thanks."

"Come on in, don't stand out there," Sam said, moving back out of the way. Jared walked in quickly and Embry followed, eyeing me somewhat warily.

"Embry, I'm sorry," I said at once. "I was a jerk. I shouldn't have hit you."

"Well, I guess I was partly to blame," he said. "I knew you were pissed; I didn't have to go on messing with you."

"Do you two want to stay for dinner?" Emily offered then. "Fried chicken?"

"Yes, please!" Jared exclaimed at once. "I'll call my Mom and let her know I won't be back." He pulled his cellphone out again.

"Embry?" Sam prompted.

"Sure, if you don't mind."

He called his Mom too and I hesitated at the door, thinking it would be rude for me to take off and miss dinner when they were staying.

"Go," Emily said softly. "It's fine."

"Thanks."

I nodded at Jared and Embry and set off to see Jacob. For once, desperate as I was to see him, I walked rather than ran. My stomach churned and my heart skipped unevenly in my chest. What must he be thinking of me? Losing it in class, taunting the teachers, punching Embry and then running away without even speaking to him.

The workshop door was closed when I got there, but light was filtering out beneath it and through the couple of small windows high in the end wall. I halted a few feet away as I heard a loud crash from inside. Another noise which sounded like some kind of metal object colliding with something else and then bouncing.

"Oh, shit," I muttered.

I grasped the door handle - it was a latch type and I pulled the lever down and opened the door. It swung outwards and I took a step through it, then dodged back quickly and ducked as something which looked like it was part of a car came hurtling through the air towards me. It smashed into the wall inches from me, leaving a dent the size of my head and fell to the ground. It looked as if it probably weighed a couple of hundred pounds. Horrified, I straightened up again and stared at Jacob. He was wearing jeans and a grey sweatshirt with the sleeves torn out, his shoulders and arms bulging with muscles. How long was it since I slept with him? A week, or just over. How had that happened so fast? How did I not notice more over the past few days when I'd hugged him? Too wrapped up in my own shit. I stood still, waiting for him to look up and see me.