AN: I want to take the time to thank you all for your reviews, especially "Army Husband." your review touched me greatly and reminds me to handle this story with care. I listened to The Garden That You Planted by Sea Wolf and River by Joni Mitchell while writing this so give them a listen I own nothing but Miss Emmie! Enjoy and please review!-Meg
-/-/-/-
There's a sleep hazy completely peaceful moment before Kurt is fully awake. Then, his eyes open the sun warming the room into a golden hue. Emmie's knees are digging into the small of his back.
And just like that, he remembers and the world stops again in that sickening way like when the non descript towne car pulled up to his house and the soliders spilled out with their solemn almost robotic stoic rehearsed words crushing his entire world to nearly meaningless dust.
He can't breathe, he feels hulled out and empty his soul aches like there is a giant Dave shaped hole there. He wants to cry. Longs to but nothing happens he just exhales, Moves Emmie's knees away from his spine and gets out of bed. He turns and closes Emily's mouth as it hangs open. He kisses her cheek inhaling a mix of baby lotion, lavender shampoo, the sugary scent of cotton candy body wash with a underlying hint of play dough. All those smells that make up his little girl's scent level him out. Tucking a dark curl behind her ear he makes sure she is properly covered and moves toward the sounds in his living room.
He stands looking around his as everyone packs away things of his life.
Carole is covering dishes in bubble wrap and placing them in boxes. The cheeriness of his kitchen is becoming subdued as everything comes down.
Finn is busy looking perplexed by the DVD cabinet.
"Dave alphabetized them just chunk them all together Finn I never really cared." Finn jumps at the sound of his voice.
"Oh hey dude, are you…"
"I'm still here, it says something right?"
"Yeah…"
"And don't call me dude."
"Oh morning sweetheart." Carole said.
"Morning Carole." he moves to poor himself a cup of coffee.
"That group came to help us pack. I set them to work leaving you Emmie's room and the master."
"The FRG? Those ladies are nosy. Except for Lydia, its like living in Lima only smaller and politically correct to your face."
"Eat." Carole commands a she walks away. He backtracks and grabs an apple and heads outside.
-/-/-/-
The leaves are turning with the fall and he's reminded of the day he found Dave waiting for him outside Dalton.
He tells Blaine goodbye then is walking toward his car.
"That kid's smarmy Kurt." The voice makes his blood freeze. He pivots on his heel to face him.
"Don't run." Dave says holding his hands out in supplication. He's without his letter man jacket. Instead he's wearing a long camel colored trench coat and white scarf. It's very Hubbell Gardiner meets Buzz Lightyear. Its strikes him as incredibly funny but he is to scared to laugh.
"I have pepper spray and I know how to use it Karofsky."
"Please, please don't." Dave shoots him one of those I'm a creeper smiles before continuing.
"I just want to tell you. You should come back to McKinley. You're geek club sucks without you."
"It's glee cromagnon and I won't come back just so you can use me as your little gay punching bag screw that." He nervous fiddles with his bangs.
"I swear I won't touch you, I might look but I won't touch I never meant to drive you away." Karofsky says suddenly engrossed in the cracks of the parking lot concrete
"Then, What did you want Karofsky?"
"I've kissed you do you think you could call me Dave?" he's look at kurt in a way that baffles the younger man
"Why did you do that? Kiss me?"
"I wanted too." He says simply.
"That's all?"
"Pretty much and I was dying for you to shut up."
"Why should I come back?"
"You miss your friends? Or because that outfit makes you look like a demented movie usher." Kurt fights the urge to smile.
"Where's your jacket? Kurt's eyebrows raise
"The cleaners your friends slushied me in revenge."
Kurt was knocked from his reverie when the garbage truck rumbles by. Sitting his coffee down he moves Emmie's doll wagon out of the walk way so Finn's clumsy ass won't trip over it and break his neck.
There's been enough death to last him ten lifetimes he muses darkly.
He's nibbling his green apple and sipping his coffee as he journeys to the back yard what he sees freezes him in place. The anger seizes up in him so fast he trembles breathless with it.
He'd forgotten to tell Carole to leave Dave's little woodshop made out of a storage shed in the backyard to He and Finn to clean out. When he sees soldiers and their wives tossing things in boxes as if they don't matter he can't think. It doesn't help that biggest homophobe on the base has the nerve to smile at him too.
The anger unleashes in a really innocuous way he throws his coffee mug at the ugly tan shack.
"Leave it." he says lowly not one of them move not even Azimio near the back. They don't know what this little space means they didn't sit and watch David painstakingly build, sand and stain Emmie's crib. They didn't know Dave used this place as his own personal therapy. They'd never understand how the sweet tinge of sawdust and the chemical scent of wood stain clung to Dave under the spicy aftershave, or how the simplistically manly smell made Kurt feel safe. They'd know none of it.
They are all still unmoving and he's screaming before can register the sound in his own ears. "Leave his things alone! Stop touching them! Stop! Stop! Stop!" his sobs Are making his words unintelligible. The tears he couldn't find this morning are now tracking down his face, he's not sure how long he stands there raging but he feels Finn hug him from behind holding him up to keep him crumbling to the ground. Azimio finally moves forward gently taking the wood scraps he'd been prepared to fling. He sags back against Finn suddenly tired and allows himself to be half dragged into the house.
-/-/-/-
He'd caused a scene and usually that wouldn't bother him but he'd never been one who liked to be grist for the gossip mill and he was positive he'd seen the base gossip Marney Brown in the shop.
He was hiding, from his family, his child, the world, from all of it. It made him a coward. He knows that, he just doesn't care. So he keeps sorting the laundry. Closed off and alone at least for the moment.
Kurt is wondering what it says about his social life that he's hiding in the laundry room of the Pierce home, to get away from the chaos of Brittany's Christmas party.
He heard the door creak and smiled at how not surprised he was that Karofsky was so easily able to find him. Since his apology in October they had a tenuous friendship that was beginning to bubble into something else entirely. Whatever it was it wasn't publicly acknowledged they had stolen moments and quiet phone calls but it worked for them. For now.
"Hey fancy, is the laundry room the trendy new hiding place for Gays or what?" he smirked.
"Closets are so last year." he answered with a snigger, sipping his egg nog.
"How many of those have you had Kurt?" Dave asked eyebrow raised nodding at the oversized teacup he held in his hand.
"Like one or two but I think Britt put Everclear in it." he hiccupped and Dave laughed. "You put that down, Everclear can make you sick as a dog and give you a bitchin' hang over."
"Kay," he sat the cup down on the washer. He looks over and Dave is now standing close enough to breathe the same air.
"Just how drunk are you Kurt?"
"Why does it matter?"
"Just want to make sure you'll remember this in the morning." he tilted his chin up dropping a soft chaste kiss on his lips.
Kurt surprised by the gentleness of the second kiss took a second to react.
"You're standing under the mistletoe Fancy, I had-" Kurt tugs him down and kisses him fully on the mouth. The kiss was slow and meandering as Dave kissed back it turned into something hot and hungry.
The need for air broke them apart.
"Wow." Kurt murmured.
"That's one word for it. Why in the hell is there mistletoe in the laundry room anyway?" Dave asked.
"Its Brittany sometimes its just better not to understand her reason It'll make your brain ache."
"True she did think actual heavenly angels were required to make snow angels." Dave said.
Emily flounced in all wild bed head, bright green eyes, and obnoxiousness.
"Papa! Papa!"
"What? Emmie!" he turned smiling at her as he stuffed wet jeans into the dryer.
"Horton hears a who is on! Will you watch with me?"
"Sure have you had anything to eat?"
"I asked Uncle Finn for a grilled cheese and he looked at me funny." the laugh bubbles up out of him before he can stop it. "I'll fix you one baby no worries."
"Papa, Uncle Finn thought the whos were real little people things."
"I think its from all the football related concussions darling its not his fault." Kurt answered
-/-/-/-
He's cutting Emmie's sandwich in half when he notices it his left hand is bare of his wedding band. His stomach turns and his hands begin to tremble. He starts searching the kitchen floor with his eyes.
"Papa you ok? You're all white…" Emmie said.
"Fine baby…" he sat her plate of apple slices and grilled cheese in front of her unaware tears were silently dripping down his cheeks.
"Kurt what's wrong?" Rachel asked snagging one of Emmie's apples.
"I lost my wedding band." he says it so utterly calm it takes Rachel a moment to really understand.
"We'll find it no problem it probably just slid off. Happened to me once while doing dishes."
"Didn't do dishes just laundry." And Rachel scurried off to find it.
"Found it! In the lint trap." Kurt let himself breathe a sigh of relief if he could misplace something as important as his wedding ring what else was he going to loose. Memories, the feeling of Dave's spirit close to him? He couldn't really bare to think on it too deeply instead he slipped on the lint dusty ring and went on.