Writers block. Home work. Extra curricular activities. New baby cousin thats due this saturday. Do i really need to know the intestines of a frog? Am i going to use that information later on in life? I really dont think so...

When did my life become so hecktic? There was 3 power outages this week. 3! It was pretty intense, so i didnt get to write as much as i liked to. I hope none of you have lost interest in this story, the hiddin plot will be revealed soon!

I pray for the people of Japan.

Disclaimer: I own my dreams. I dont own Degrassi.

Warnings: This chapter is pretty intense...so you are warned. I have written, and rewritten this chapter a lot, so i hope it turned out to your likings :D Eli kinda gave me some inspiration, and string cheese. String cheese is freaking amazing! I still love Eli! 3

Beta Reader: Zephyr Hearts

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap

I don't think I can stand it any longer. The wait is unbearable, and I don't think I could cooperate with anyone any longer. The bright, white walls and attempting comfort auras that the waiting room offered didn't help the situation. My head throbbed of possible outcomes if the night, making up a new one every time a nurse walked by. My heart pounded heavily in my chest, making it hard to breathe.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap

It's been hours since Fitz and I walked into the hospital, and hour's since Clare's beautiful eyes stared up at me

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap

I sighed heavily as my foot repeatedly tapped on the tile floor, a habit I had progressed when I was nervous.

I watched the nurses walk down the hallways, listening to the ringing of the phones and annoying voices that roamed around. Each time one would walk out of the doors, my head snapped up, hoping it would be for Clare, but that was never the case.

I awkwardly kept my gaze away from Fitz, who was perched across from me on the other side of the waiting room, only waiting for the answer we both needed to know.

Was she alright?

The hospital, the worry, and the aroma of the hospital filling my nostrils; it was all too much of a reminder.

Trying everything possible, I couldn't get my mind off of Julia, and what happened. Somehow, I managed to put someone's life in danger, again.

I'm the one that told Julia to leave.

"Julia, Go!"

I'm the one that put Fitz's and Clare's relationship on the line.

"I should get your number so we can get together sometime and edit once were done."

The majority of me knew, and I had to admit it, it's my fault.

"I'm sorry son, she didn't make it."

When Julia died, I wanted to do nothing more than to kill the person who did this to her, who took her away from me. We haven't even progressed love yet, but I had a strong feeling that we were heading in that direction.

But when I saw her, as a ghost, I realized that we weren't meant to be together, that no matter what, we still would've fought, still would've broken up. Nothing would've changed.

Would we have gotten back together sometime later though? Would I have realized how wrong I was, though I did already, and head after her and beg for her to take me back? I don't know if I would have, but none of that mattered when I saw Julia, I was too excited to think, to breathe. All that mattered was that she was in my life, but as a ghost.

I've never believed in ghosts until then. Actually, first my thought was that it was a dream. That I would wake up sweating and panting and it would all be over.

Then she appeared again, and again; until I got used to her in my life again.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap

Julia was smart witted, sarcastic, and dark; like me. We had an attraction to each other at first, but never acted upon it. We became best friends.

Then one fateful night alone in my house, while my parents were away, the kiss that changed my life completely around, happened.

If I never kissed her, we would still be best friends, she would never have gotten on her bike and died that night, I never would have moved; I never would have met Clare.

If I never met Clare, then I could never have stopped Fitz from hurting her.

Eventually someone would have found out, right?

I don't think Julia and I would've gotten back together, but I do think that we would become friends again. We were too alike; we got on each other's nerves constantly. Friendship was what worked with us.

With Clare though, Clare was different. She was unpredictable, and surprised me with every move she made. She's completely opposite of me, but in an adoring way. She brightens up my day with one single smile, and if she doesn't talk to me at all throughout a day, I'll lose it.

When this happened to Clare though, I can't even think about anything else but Clare. I didn't care about who did it, just if she was safe, if I was going to see her again. I'm too weak to do anything to anyone. She's only on my mind, and if she's going to walk out of here.

I have a feeling my feelings for her are growing way too fast. I haven't known her long, and I know I shouldn't have such a strong emotion to someone when you've met them not long before, but I really can't help myself.

I feel all tingly when I'm alone with her. My heart starts beating erratically when she accidently brushes her hands with mine. But when we kissed, my mind and heart exploded, and were in another world, unlike anything Julia did. Even the thought of never seeing Clare again makes me go crazy.

I glanced down at my knee, and noticed it had stopped its uncontrollable tapping.

But what if I can see her, like I can see Julia?

That can't happen. That can't happen to me again. Julia should know how to help, right? If that happens, Julia will help me… right?

But she doesn't want me happy; she doesn't want me with Clare…

"Eli, calm down. I'm sure she's fine."

At the sound of his voice, I turned to be faced to face with the last person I wanted to talk to. I glared at him. He's the one that did this, and he knows the damage that he's done.

"How- how can you say that?" I whispered, noticing my voice was hoarse. I couldn't really speak any louder. "It's not no big deal! She could not walk out of that room, and you're saying it like it's no big deal! She could already be-"

I clenched my jaw, knowing I was going to snap at any moment with him staring at me. Images of what he could have possibly done popped into my head, and I knew I had to leave.

Without another word to him, I stood up and walked away, not bothering to look back. I walked up to one of the ladies behind the desk, and waited for her to end the call she was on.

"…yes, I know. Thank you." She smiled, then hung up and looked at me. "How may I help you?"

I cleared my throat, and thought.

If I ask if I can see her, will she tell me what's going on?

Eh, it's worth a shot.

"Uh, yeah. Can I see Clare Edwards?"

She looked down at the clipboard in front of her and flipped through the pages. "Edwards…Edwards…"

I waited impatiently, and groaned internally. She sighed and flipped the pages back and picked up the phone that was resting on the base.

I watched as she dialed a number and placed the phone on her ear. "Yes, hi. What's the current state of Miss. Clare Edwards? …Oh okay thank you." She put the phone down looked at me, smiling sadly and I waited for her to speak.

"I'm sorry, but Ms. Edwards is currently being worked on. I don't think they'll be done for a few more hours."

I nodded, and sighed. I pushed my body away from the desk with my feet and let them wonder, not really caring where they take me.

.

…

…..

Clare POV

"Julia?"

I called her name again, even though I most likely won't get an answer. It must have been hours since I started looking for her. Where could she have gone? But most importantly, how did she leave?

"Julia?" I called out again, more forceful; only receiving no answer, just like I predicted.

I sighed, and stared in front of me, which was nothing but black. I was in a nightmare, only waiting to wake up.

That's what I kept telling myself. I mean, Julia's dead, I can't see her. She's not going to be seen. This is all a dream.

I really want to leave this horrid place. I felt cold, and it was extremely lonely. I was bored and I really wanted to see Eli.

Eli always knew how to make me feel better, and I took that for granted and was with Fitz. I didn't even want to be with him, I wanted to forget about him, and get to know Eli more. He might not feel the same way I do, but…he kissed me. So, he must feel something, right? I sighed, this is useless.

He's not like the other guys that I've known. He's so different. He uses perfect grammar in his texts. He's so dark, but he has this air about him that captures me instantly. He's sarcastic but so charming at the same time. His smile is amazing. Those perfect white teeth that aren't too white but not dull either. Just … perfect.

When he looks me in the eye, that's all I can see. His lips, soft as silk, but as if they have the power to be rough like the ocean.

I felt my heart start beating erratically; I could hear it through my ears.

This place, this aura, it feels like something from a horror movie that will never end; a nightmare that I'll never wake up from. Will I ever see those breath taking eyes again?

I sat down, pulling my knees up to my chest, feeling defeated.

I wonder if people were doing anything to get me back, to save me from this. Did my family even know? I doubt my family did, there not even home. When they are home, they don't even acknowledge my existence.

Has everyone forgotten about me?

What if they don't miss me at all?

What if Eli found someone else, and completely forgot about me?

I felt my eyes start to water, but how do I know if everyone moved on? It's only been a couple of hours, so it can't be that bad, right?

I started to cry at the thought of never seeing anyone that I knew, and loved again.

Fitz did this, and I want to know why he put me through torture, and what provoked him to do such a thing. I'm obviously not going to find that out, because if Eli does care about me, and is waiting I for me to come back into my body, then I know he will never let me near him again,

Right?

Will Eli let me go back to Fitz?

I didn't notice the change in atmosphere, and I looked up at the sound of high pitched voices and saw people in teal gowns all in a circle, a bright light hanging above them. Voices called for tools that I didn't recognize, and I saw this was in a hospital room. I stood to my feet, out of curiosity, and approached the operating table. Looking in between doctors, I saw them searching for something, and then pulling out what looked like…glass.

I was never much one for blood and gore, so I walked over to the door. Why was I at a hospital, and how I even got here in the first place?

This is so confusing. Shaking my head, I walked towards the door, but something big and bold caught my attention that was by the door on my way out.

Clare Edwards.

I widened my eyes, and I looked back. They were working on me. I quickly glanced back at the heart monitor, sighing in relief when I heard it beeping.

I really didn't know what life looked like, from watching the outside looking in until now.

But, after all, we're all born to die.

.

….

….

Eli POV

My stomach grumbled, and I felt nauseous. I realized I haven't eaten a thing all day, and sighed. I didn't want to eat, but I guess a bag of chips would help.

I opened random doors and walked down hallways searching for a vending machine.

I always got myself into these situations. I'm just some Goth guy, who has a dark past and carries baggage. What if I tell someone I can see my dead ex-girlfriend they'll think I'm crazy. I know it. If Clare knew…she'd walk away from me for sure.

Food court.

I sighed and headed towards the sign that led to food.

"…Clare Edwards"

I stopped dead in my tracks and leaned listened more clearly. Did she say…

"Do you know anything?"

"It may be a while…but she's unconscious. She may be in a coma…not sure."

I felt my heart stop, and I leaned against the wall. I peeked behind it and saw two nurses talking and holding a file.

"Will she be alright?"

"She's pretty beaten up. She had glass in her back, which caused damage in her spinal cord. She had a bruise on the back of her head, and it doesn't look to good. She is breathing though."

"I'll go let the family know"

I felt my chest tighten, and my knees wobbled. I couldn't control it. I slid down the wall, and brought my knees to my chest and buried my head in them. I bit my bottom lip, trying to refrain myself from whimpering.

And, for the first time since Julia died, I cried. I cried like my life depended on it...