Chapter 3: Awake

I grip the railing as hard as I can, the grain of the wood pressing into my trembling palms. The sun tempts me away, but I duck my head over the rail and brace my feet against the deck beneath me, knowing it will not last. The darkness comes as quickly as I close my eyes, an icy chill frosting across my skin and starling a gasp of air from my lungs. The air gusts, bringing with it the weight of clouds and the damp presence that precedes rain. The warmth of tears fades along my cheeks as tension builds in the skies above. I tighten my grip even further, gritting my teeth with the helplessness of unrelenting fear.

Suddenly a crash shivers through the air. The deck crumples beneath me, the rail splintering in my hands. The pieces disintegrate away from me, my feet rip through the deck as though through paper. The wind engulfs me. I try to scream, but suddenly I cannot hear, cannot see.

I plummet into a void empty of all but darkness. The silent vibrations of another crash prickle into my skin, the groaning of wood, the booming, shrieking reverberations of a distant destruction resound through me, bringing splintered images rather than sounds, shredding me with the force of their passage as they grab and shear away pieces of me until I shatter. My scream is nothing but the echoes of distant pain.

A sound glows faintly through the nothingness. I strain to hear it with the last scattered remnants of myself. Slowly, softly, a wordless melody finds me. It gathers up what is left of me, a sweet lullaby tinged with a radiance of vibrant viridian. Tears start in my eyes and I shake my head fiercely, but it does not fade.

The sensation of falling wavers as the melody grows stronger in my ears. The fear begins to ebb. A cushion rests beneath my head, a warm blanket drapes over me and brushes against my cheek. Who is singing...? My body is too heavy to move, my eyes unable to open. The melody softens the edges of fear, tension slips from my limbs and my breathing slows into the peace of a dreamless sleep.

. . .

Silence. I slowly reach out and grip the bed beneath me, feeling again the mattress, pillow, and blanket. A dream? Was it really just a dream? I open my eyes cautiously, and allow myself to relax slightly, relieved to actually be in a bed – rather than on top of that glowing green stone... what was it that he called it? The... Master Emerald? What an odd name...

I pull the blanket back and swing my legs out from the bed, my toes touching against something below. I take a breath to sigh, smelling in the air something sweet but unfamiliar. The sigh dies halfway through. I look down—my feet rest atop the shoes I was wearing before...

I step out of bed. My bare feet slip into the shoes without any thought on my part, the fit strangely comfortable and familiar as though they have always belonged to me. I slowly lift my head and turn to face the room. A small wooden chair rests beside the bed, its warm tint reflected in the worn floor and partially open door. A light wallpaper covers the walls, and on the far side of the room I glimpse the sky through a small rounded window. I take a short step in that direction, but freeze as something moves in the corner of the room. I reluctantly allow my head to turn.

Standing before me is a slight creature, vaguely similar to Knuckles the Echidna. Its arms and legs are a dusty silver gray, and fair blonde hair just brushes its shoulders. I take a step closer, and it does the same. My head begins to spin, thoughts whirling against what I see before me. Two wings stretch out behind it on each side, their shape and structure reminding me of a dragonfly's. Its clothing is oddly familiar: a long green shirt with thick white stripes that curve down the front of its length, thin white gloves ringed at the wrist with green triangles, a pair of long black shorts, and the exact shoes I am wearing. We step closer again, a perfectly synchronized action. Fear roils in my stomach as I can no longer deny what I see. An all-too-familiar charm hangs at the center of a thin gold necklace, and when I meet its brown eyes they gleam with tears. No...

The creature and I take the final step towards each other. I raise my shaking hand to meet its reflection. Our tears fall.

What has happened to me...?

A noise comes from somewhere further into the house. I jerk my hand away from the mirror as though electrically shocked. Heart pounding, I whirl around, my eyes instantly finding the small window. I stumble forward against the wall as I scramble to open it, my fingers weak with panic. More sounds reach my ears, coming closer with each second. So slowly, the window groans open. I stick my head out and brace my arms against the sill as the excited voices echo into the room, footsteps just outside the door. I push myself out and tumble through the air.

My body meets the ground with an impact that forces the air from my lungs. Darkness flashes across my eyes. I fight it away. Every sensation slices through the curtain of nightmare, pressing further and further into reality. I'm awake. My eyes are open. I can't be awake. This can't be real.

My head aches painfully as I lunge to my feet and start running. I sprint, ragged shallow breaths, faster, faster! I can hardly see, the world blurred by tears and speed and pain. Trees and rocks rise up before me, obstacles I only just manage to dodge. I can't stop, I can't let myself stop!

If I can just run fast enough, far enough, maybe I'll find myself back, to how I should be, to where I should be... Take me back home! I want to go... home...? It takes several moments for my mind to reattach to my body, my legs slowing as the panic is replaced with a frightening emptiness. I stumble to my knees, my sides shaking with the effort of breathing.

I blink quickly, repeating the word to myself. Home, home, home... home...? The jumbled fragments of my memories once again confront me, blocking all efforts to remember anything, anyone, anywhere.

This isn't where I should be... but... where would that be? Home? Home should be a place, filled with smiling faces and memories, familiar, a place to belong... Why can't I remember? Didn't I used to have a home...?

Who... am I? I stare at my gloved palms. This is not what I am supposed to look like. I used to be... human. I don't think I am anymore...

The emptiness looms, a seemingly impossible force. It crashes towards me, overwhelming as the tide. I laugh weakly, nearly hysterical, crossing my arms tightly around myself and gripping the sides of my long shirt fiercely. Hold on, I'm okay. It's okay.

"It's okay." I say it aloud to make it more convincing, frowning first at the weakness in my voice, and again as I pull together my thoughts. "If... if this is not what I am supposed to look like... but I can't remember who I am supposed to be... then..." Then why can't I become a new person, a new me? Maybe I'll remember as I recreate myself...? I nod suddenly, decisively, and push myself up. I shake my head again, sharply, in an attempt to clear my mind. "Y...yes. There is no need to be so afraid. No need. I'm okay..." This is not a dream, but I will be okay. Suddenly I remember the creature in the mirror, the image flashing through my mind – the strange new me.

It had... wings.

Wings...? At the simple thought they twitch in the air, the muscles flexing in my back and shoulders. Light, firm yet flexible, I shiver as I run my hand along the faintly textured surface, more sensitive to the touch than my fingertips. Every faint breeze paints an awareness across their sheer surfaces. I struggle to find their presence strange, alien, but cannot. They belong to me in the same way that my arms do, their sensitivity and movement as natural as the rest of my body. I stretch and wave them, exploring their strength and range of motion. Could I fly with these?

I glance up at the clouds above, bright in the sun. Just as quickly I duck my head, sudden thorns of dark fear coiling in my stomach, spearing me. My eyes widen, choking flashes of darkness and the unyielding storm rage across my senses. I press my hands against my face, removing them only when the nightmare fades. No. I won't go back up there. Not now. I pull my thoughts away from the wings. Not for a very long time.

I take a step forward, but then pause and turn to look out at the trees behind me. There isn't any sign of the house that I escaped from, no sign even of my passing. Where was I? I wonder how far I ran? In the stillness my heartbeat quickens. Sounds of pursuit echo through the trees in the distance. I take a deep breath, forcibly restraining my nervous imagination.

But still... I turn again to face away from where I came. I take a deep breath and begin walking, not allowing myself to look back.

I am... Well, I'm awake. Let's see what I can do about this.