AN: Ok just so you know and understand Dave joined the army to pay for his college and decided to stay in. For this chapter I used the song Jar Of Hearts by christina perri, I've had enough by Gary Allan, and Mmm by Laura Izibor in that order if you want to listen while reading. Someone kinda used my idea for this fic I know imitation is supposed to be the highest form of flattery but I was just perturbed I guess so it took a little longer to get inspired for this chapter so sorry for its shortness! please review!

Stupidly he thought things we're going to be different once they'd started college but after having gone to surprise Dave at NYU but apparently he was wrong he thinks as he stomps down the stairs of Dave's fourth floor walk up, and there are most definitely not tears in his eyes over Dave fucking Karofsky or that pained embarrassed look on his lovers face when the door swung open.

He's hurtling himself down the stairs fast as his feet can carry him to his waiting cab or at least he hopes its still waiting.

"Kurt wait!" he hears Dave closing in behind him but doesn't stop moving.

"Damn it baby, I said wait!" he shouts. The term of endearment gives him pause though he wishes it didn't he turns just as Dave is skidding to halt quite comically on the second floor. An old lady with blue hair sticks her head out of her door. "Hello Mrs. Fleets…everything is ok." Dave says and with a curious glance toward Kurt closes her door.

"Why wait David? For what? Seems like that's all I do wouldn't you agree?"

Dave gaped, looking eerily like a fish. "You're not being fair I…"

"Not being fair Dave? I just sat in a cab for an hour waiting for your room mates to leave! So, I could spend a little time with my boyfriend! You wanna know what's not fair? Not being able to hold your hand, or walk down the street beside you! What's not fair is being your dirty little limp wristed secret, feeling like you are ashamed to love me! And what's unfair to both of us Dave? That look you gave me when the door opened that terrified oh god I'm glad to see you but please, please don't let anyone see!" look

Dave swallowed, tears in his eyes. "You said you'd never make me choose?"

"I'm not," Kurt looked up at him. "I'm just making a different choice for myself, you can safely stay in the closet Dave you just can't pull me back in with you anymore…I'm done."

"We can fix this please Kurt, please don't… we can't be over…"

"We're fighting in a hall way that smells of cat pee and Mrs. Fleets was it? Is surely eavesdropping. I think that means we're already over." and with that he walked slowly from Dave Karofsky's life. He doesn't turn when he hears Dave's weight settle on the stairs. When the sobs that follows him out the door he doesn't pause he can't. Dave has to deal with his own denial.

"Papa! Get up!" She's bouncing on the bed sly grin in place. He groans, "Emily Belle…its early."

"Yep I know."

"What do you need?"

"Gramps says the boxes are all loaded." he cracks an eye open to look at her.

"Ok, I'm up! I'm up!" she shoots him another grin and he is intensely grateful that he was man enough to reach for his happiness and take Dave back on that fall night.

They have been broken up for a few months now. He could of gone to another college F.I.D.M. in L.A. Or even an off shoot of Ohio U in Dayton but there is something about this city its noises and smells, the feel of it makes Kurt feel like he's found his place. Besides something like eight million people live in New York City its not like he ever has to lay eyes on Dave Karofsky again.

He's trying to make the DVD player work when there is a knock at the door. Opening it he finds Dave staying there in well worn jeans and a army sweat shirt,

Kurt hopes he doesn't actually look as shocked as he feels.

"Hey babe." its such a simple statement. Then Kurt realizes how much he's missed that one tiny thing.

"Dave I -"

"Just don't close the door." The double meaning of the statement, the way those hazel eyes take in his face as though they are starved for the sight before them, the easy way he's rocked back on his heels and hands are stuffed into his pockets so as not to touch. All of that makes him want to cry.

He finds his voice though just barely. "What are you doing here?"

"I miss you."

"Don't-"

"I miss you Kurt and I'm tired. I've had enough…I can't do this anymore. I can't lie I…"

"What are you saying Dave?"

"Damn it Fancy can't you shut up and listen for once? I'm trying to tell you I love you and I don't care who knows! I told my parents and I did it for me. What I'm saying is I want to be with you and not secretly and not just for fun! I give okay! You win! You've got about five seconds to close the door and then-" He grabs handfuls of shirt and is yanking Dave into the apartment. Stretching upward to kiss him. Dave pulls him flush to him. Dave tastes of something sugary. The hands sneaking up under Kurt's blue turtle neck are warm and wide he feels safe. Dave nips at his chin he tilts his head back to give him better access and he realizes something he missed before. "Dave?"

"Mhhmm"

"I like the stubble feels nice." clothes are being discarded quickly and he's being back walked to the couch when Dave stumbles over the DVD player.

"What the?"

"I was trying to fix it but ever since Finn got drunk and tried to use it like an easy bake oven its kinda touchy."

Dave laughs and warm breath flutters on his neck. "You know you got it bad when you miss dumb step-brother antics too! I'll fix it later and you can get back to your weird Buffy and Angel obsession."

"I'm not that bad for all you know, I coulda been watching porn!"

Dave chuckles happily. He nips at Kurt's ear lobe and the room tilts.

"Christ warn a guy." Kurt mumbles.

"Nice to know the old buttons still work."

"We need to shut up!"

"Agreed!"

Before Kurt's thoughts can go any farther his daughter is asking for outfit advice. "How's this?" she's wearing a leopard print petty skirt pink tights and a pink and black shirt declaring her an "Army Brat!" Kurt is just grateful it mostly matches aside from her untied turquoise tennis shoes with bedazzled toes. Sometimes he thinks he should double check her medical records to make sure there wasn't some kind of sperm switch.

"It's a daring choice my darling I dig it." he taps his thigh and he puts her foot up for him to tie the shoes.

He stands her in front of the mirror and begins braiding her hair. Looking at their reflection he sees bits of Emmie's "Egg Mom." as they'd labeled her but its mostly Dave reflected in her face. From the point of her chin and the slant of her cheek bones to the darkness of her hair it was all Dave. He wondered exactly when he'd begun to ache every time he looked at her.

"Papa you should get dressed today, Daddy would want it."

"Why?"

"Because fashion is your thing and Daddy wouldn't want his death to take away all your things."

"How'd you get so smart?" Kurt swallows past the lump in his throat.

"Just born that way I guess."

He laughs at that. "I love you Emmie Belle and I'm so very glad I have you."

"Love you too old man!"

"Hey now! I'm not even thirty."

In this moment he's happy and doesn't feel like he's being crushed under an invisible weight. He'll take it.