Hello again. Long time no see, eh? Once again, I'm sorry y'all. I'm taking the blame for my too long hiatus. Only some of it could've been helped, but oh well. The people who reviewed my fake chapter were forgiving. (Thanks, you all rock my socks.)
Umm, if you had this on an update list, you may have to go back and re-read the last couple chapters. I did, and I'm the amazingly fantastical author!
Another note: If you don't hear from me after Monday, (June 14th), I'm dead. I'm going to a concert that's going to have lots of moshpits. Plus, I'm around five-five, five-six. (That's not very tall for all you Europeans or non-Americans who use metric which makes so much more sense. Ten millimeters to a centimeter and a hundred centimeters to a meter is way better than twelve inches to a foot and three feet to a yard. It's messed up and crazy.) I'm only sixty-five inches which isn't a whole lotta centimeters. Anyway, I also weigh about a hundred and ten pounds. What's this all mean? I'm small. Too small for moshpits. This means I'm bringing my friend who is six-two and big, and my bro who works out. But, I'm sooooooo jumping into a pit. I have a death wish or something.
It's going to be fun in an "I almost died! Again! Again! Again!" way.
Reviews- GrlWithoutAName- Just so you know while Justin, my James inspiration, is cool, he's also annoying as hell. Just don't tell his girlfriend I said that, she'd be angry with me. Also, no, there were no first years other than Jason trying out for the team, (Typo, sorry.) he's super special just like the real-life Jason, who is nothing like Potter-verse Jason. This Jason is much cooler because I made him into a cross between myself and Justin simply because he's over at my house a lot lately. Piper93- Sorry for the wait, I'll explain, promise! Pheonix4Life- I like Jason too… but, they WILL find out he's secretly Harry, but in due time, I like the idea of Harry having a little bit of a "normal" life for a year or so, maybe a little longer. (Hint, hint) And, of course, dirty minded friends rock, how else are you supposed to have fun? They make me laugh. Ninja friends are cool too. Just don't steal sunglasses. The ground hurts. Alorkin- Here it goes! Okay, you can out cuss me. The navy more than likely trained you well, even if it didn't train my grandpa, but he was a Sea Bee captain like, thirty years ago. (He also led the first combat ready battalion in Vietnam, cool huh?) Chapter One- Well, I'm glad you find my story somewhat plausible! That really means a lot because I hate people who blow everything way out of proportion. And Harry wasn't adopted because of the simple fact that because muggles are muggles they shy away from magical people because they fear what they don't know. This is why canon Harry never made friends as a small child. Dudley couldn't be that bad. Chapter Two- The chapter answered some questions so I won't re-answer some. But, Jason's wand feather may or may not be Fawkes's. (I didn't even think of that!) Not decided. I write as I go. Chapter Three- Well, my grammar and spelling are so wunnerful because I'm enrolled in a California school. I'm in honors English therefore I'm not mentally handicapped! That aside there were lots of random weird scenes I will tell you were for showing Jason isn't canon Harry. Different life, different person. They were really there because I'm wither Bi-Polar or ADHD. Either way I'm un-medicated and extremely weird at times. Glad you enjoyed it though. Chapter Four- I was debating Slytherin/Ravenclaw. I decided if I'm going to try and give Jason a break that Ravenclaw was best. Avoid house tensions. Also… the twins will make an appearance. Jason should get the map at some point in time. Maybe an apprentice prankster? (Hint, hint!) And I'll try and fix the blue and silver mess-up. Chapter Five- Yes. Of course Snape is the root of all evil! And Jason is super cool in the face of fire! Yay Jason! Also, of course classes went well, Jason spent years hitting the books! Chapter Six- These notes are now over a page long so I'm cutting this short- Glad you enjoyed flying on Jason Black Airlines! Please remove all sanity from overhead compartments and make a neat and orderly mad dash for the exit and luggage-go-round! Fake Chapter Seven- Appendicitis sucks. End of story. Sakura Lisel- I tried to recover the saved files, but to no avail. Most of my cough, cough "legal" music was lost along with lots of birthday and Christmas pictures. Luckily most were on my cameras SD card or on the new computer or sent in e-mails. Thank god for me having like, three copies of some stuff. Unfortunately the old chapter was lost. Second Hokage and SnakeRose- Thank you for kind words and aside from some ugly scars I'm good as new. Just as insane as ever
THIS CHAPTER: Quiddich practice in which James reaches a new level of hilarity, or evil-ness. Depends on your point-of-view. Also, other amazingly crack-addicted fun brought to you in part by J.K. Rowling.
She made the some of the characters and most of the setting so she gets a lot of credit. I'm simply using her characters for no gain of profit. (That was my disclaimer Mr. Lawyer-Man. Please don't sue me!)
"The Chronicles of Fayt"
Chapter Seven: Psycho Social
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Jason Black's POV
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
I woke up and looked around the room. No green light. No high pitched cackle. No screams of terror. I let out a deep breath I wasn't aware of holding. Hauling myself out of bed I looked at the clock, 5:30 am. Too early to wake up but I wasn't going to bed anytime soon. I went to the bathroom after grabbing clothes and quickly showered and did my hair. Lucky for me James taught him a spell that did my hair up and always returned it to normal if it got messed up. No quiddich practice was gonna mess my hair up. I pulled on loose muggle clothes and went to the common room to meet up with James.
When I saw James he wanted to laugh. My brother was leaning against a wall trying to look cool. The girl he was talking to was blushing so obviously looking like a total prat got you a date here at Hogwarts. I'd have to remember this one.
I walked past James and pushed him so he over balanced and almost knocked the girl over. My brother swore and apologized before looking around. "JASON!" He yelled. I laughed and took off running to the Great Hall. I was almost to the Great Hall and I couldn't hear James running so I'd somehow lost him. Obviously living in the huge castle hadn't taught James much. I rounded the corner and saw James leaning against the doors to the Great Hall.
"Short cuts rock little man." Was all James said before I quickly turned, hitting the ground as I did so. I righted myself and took off in a dead sprint. But lucky for me, living in an orphanage had taught me to run. Unlucky for me James was older, therefore taller; and because of that he had much longer legs. I yelped, yes yelped, as James caught me and threw me over one shoulder so I had the lovely view of the uglier side of James. And I wasn't talking about his face.
I crossed my arms and humph-ed as James started taking me somewhere. Some footsteps grew closer and I was praying that it was a prefect or teacher, being carried around over James's shoulder hurt.
"Mr. Thompson, you are aware that carrying students around isn't exactly condoned by the school rules?" I heard Flitwick chirp with a slight chuckle.
--
James Thompson's POV
Hogwarts
I flashed Professor Flitwick a big grin. "Yep!" I said happily as I bounced Jason a little. Jason was fat or something. He was heavy to carry around over my shoulder.
"Well, I was just checking. I'll see you Monday afternoon." Flitwick said as he chuckled and walked away.
"What!" Jason yelled as he saw Flitwick walk away. "That's not fair! He'll eat me!"
"No I will not eat you!" I said as I took off again. "You're much too fat to eat. I'm gonna die before I get you to our destination."
"Where are you taking me?" Jason asked as he started to pound on my back.
"Oh, a fun place. Well, fun for me at least. Bad for you. Very, very bad for you. Yet very fun for everybody who's watching you." Jason started to hit harder.
"PUT ME DOWN!" He whined as he hit me.
"Stop hitting me!" I snapped at the annoying little midget that was Jason Black.
"Put me down!" He demanded. In response to that I simply bounced down the steps to the quiddich locker rooms as Jason bounced again and again onto my shoulder and made "Oomph" noises at every bounce. All the people on the team looked at me weird as I jumped into the locker rooms. I went over to my locker and pulled out my broom. I reached into my pocket and started unshrinking Nick's broom. Jason needed one to use until Flitwick convinced Dumbledore to let Jason have one a year early.
"James?" Ashley asked looking at me oddly.
"Huh?" I asked.
"Where did you get that Cleansweep Five? Don't you own a Cleansweep Six?" She was staring at the broom in my hand.
"I do own a Six. See. It's right here." I moved so she could see it better. "And you are again correct in this being a Cleansweep Five. It's not mine. I nicked it from Nick. He doesn't need it and there is no way my seeker is using a Shooting Star."
Ashley shook her head and walked away. "But, I'm surprised you didn't ask why I'm carrying around our seeker."
She turned and looked at me. "I don't really want to know what goes on in you twisted little mind James. You really do scare me sometimes."
"That's not very nice. You are so going after Jason." I muttered as I handed Jason Nick's broom. "Hold this." I commanded as I grabbed my own broom. I growled as Jason promptly started to beat me with the Cleansweep Five. "That's not mine stupid!" I yelled in order to get him to stop.
"Hey, uh, James?" Ashley said poking her head in the locker rooms. I nodded for her to continue. "What do you mean I'm going after Jason?" I simply grinned at her and she looked a little scared as she left. I jogged after her and Jason hit me harder with his smack-y stick. Well, broom that is.
--
Jason Black's POV
Hogwarts
I hit the ground with a groan before tackling James's knees. "You jerk!" I yelled as I started to hit the big idiot with and even bigger ego.
"That's another minute for you!" He yelled as he tried to push me off as the rest of the team stood around and laughed. He tried to grab me around the neck but I bit him. "HE BIT ME!" James yelled as he howled in pain.
"That's what you get!" I said as I got off of him and kicked him in the shins to the team's amusement.
"What? Rabies?" He asked as he smacked me on the head.
"Yep!"
"That's a total of three minutes for you!" James said as he went to the ball crate.
"What are you on about?" The keeper, Markus asked.
"Well, this morning Jason pushed me into Brianna and she's hot so I decided I should use him for a bludger target as payback. Then I decided, he's a seeker, he needs to dodge bludgers. Now he really is going to be a bludger target!"
"WHAT!" Everyone yelled at once.
"You heard me. Today during practice while we run drills David and Chris won't be hitting fake targets, but they're going to focus on one team member at a time. Jason's just going to be used longer and first under the official reason of him being a favorite target of opposing teams. Fun, huh?" James tossed the quaffle to Ashley as he let the snitch go. "Well, old team members, you know what to do. New dude, put the pretty red ball though the big ol' hoops that that idiot is guarding. We'll teach you the maneuvers. Jason, if I really need to explain you're stupider than I think you are." With his poor explanation given the team rose into the air and scattered as James let the bludgers go. "Jason! Watch out!" I heard him yell as he laughed. I was sooo taking his head off. I heard a bludger whistling through the air and put on a burst of speed as I swung to the left and a bludger shot by.
This practice would really suck.
--
I landed and rolled off the broom and flopped to the ground. I hurt all over from where I didn't fully dodge bludgers. It had been funny to see other people be relentlessly hounded by David and Chris's attacks and luckily nobody had been badly injured by James's stupid idea. Although Chris's aim really had improved and he'd gotten much better at judging where bludgers were coming from based on the high pitched whistle of the bludgers.
After an hour of practice the reserve team had come out to play a scrimmage. The team consisted of the guy who wanted to replace Markus as keeper and the fifth year who wanted to be seeker, the other beater hopeful and Nick. The other slots were filled mainly by sixth and seventh years that could play well and maybe could make the team but didn't want practice to interfere with studies so they would come out once a week to scrimmage with the real team and fill whatever spots that needed filling.
The teams were the chasers and him along with a filler beater and the fifth year and the kid who wasn't a half bad Keeper against our beaters and Markus and the reserve chaser and two fillers with Nick. Reserve offence and Regular Defense vs. Regular offense and Reserve Defense. Not a bad set-up. Both teams ended up almost equally matched.
Nick was seething when he showed up to take back his broom. It was hilarious really; all Nick could do was have a very red face as he spluttered and spit out garbled words while pointing at a note and waved his arms around like a chicken.
I felt no sympathy. I ended up on James's broom while he took the one of the beaters Comet and the beater grumbled as he puttered around on a twig-less and mangled Shooting Star.
Nick was still sore over getting pwn'd by a first year and played tuff, which was quite good for me. I had to play a tuff game to keep up and the other teams seekers weren't going to go easy because loosing to a first year that'd never flown before Hogwarts was embarrassing. As far as he knew Cedric, the Hufflepuff seeker, had been on a broom since before he could walk and was huge for a seeker and would more than likely be pushy. The Slytherin's had a huge seeker as far as he knew as well and they always played dirty as well, the whole team was brutal. As for Gryffindor, they had a Keeper who could easily go pro if he worked at it, two good chasers and an unknown, Katie Bell. The beaters were human bludgers and their seeker graduated and as of yet, they had had no replacement that was worth a damn. Needless to say, with four third years, a fourth year, and a second year and an unknown, the Gryffs were going down due to lack of experience and the Slytherins would foul, the Puffs sucked. Ravenclaw would destroy the competition.
Anyway, Nick was an ass on the pitch. That had been an asset though. I was in need of major training as far as playing against the others went. In the end I learned you had to watch the other seeker as much as you watched for the snitch. I almost cost my team the game because I didn't know that. In the end I again beat Nick only because I had the better broom and Nick had to blast past me to get to the snitch. I went after him and ended up in a two minute chase that ended with me almost a smear on the pitch and Nick getting bucked off his broom because he pushed to hard and leaned forward, planted the handle and almost snapped the broom. Luckily he only nearly broke his neck. Several people had wands and saved him from killing himself, too bad really. He could've broken Hogwarts "Squeaky Clean" record of no deaths.
"HEY!" The loud shout broke him out of thoughts of the mini-match of earlier. "I got McGonagall to sign this letter so Gryffindor can use the pitch to train our new seeker." The Gryffindor team was walk towards them, brooms in hand and Oliver Wood at the lead with slight boy at his side. "Sorry 'bout cutting you all short on practice but I know you all do a scrimmage at the end of Saturday practices. And I wasn't spying. I just figured fourteen Ravenclaws with brooms coming in at once ment a scrimmage." The tall brown-haired boy walked over to James and handed him a scroll of parchment.
"No problem Wood. We were clearing off soon anyway even if we still had the pitch for another half hour. Let's go." James waved his hand to motion for everyone to leave and follow him. "Everyone on the team follow me to the locker room." With that most of the people left except the beater whose broom James had. He needed to return the Shooting Star.
James looked calm when I caught up with him but a vein on his temple was throbbing and his movement was just a little too stiff, even for a guy who had dodged several bludgers a little late. (Ashley had threatened to kick him off his broom if he didn't take his own punishment.)
As soon as the locker room doors swung shut James snapped. "WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE! I HAVE SATURDAY MORNING BOOKED FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR! IT'S OUR PRACTICE TIME! IT'S NOT LIKE THEY HAVE THIS AFTERNOON AND FRIDAY MORNINGS TO TRAIN!" James was pissed. "WHAT THE HELL GIVES THEM THE RIGHT TO FUCKING COME IN AND CUT INTO OUR PRACTICE TIME!" James was stomping along the row of lockers and in anger swung out and dented one of the many unused lockers with his balled up fists. "FUCK!" He yelled as he clutched his injured fist to his chest. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" He accentuated each word with a hard kick to the already abused locker. He gave the entire room one last angry look before stomping off to somewhere.
"So." I said quietly. "Who wants to go after him?"
--
Short. I know. Sorry. Better than nothing right? Well, I had to go back and reread my own story and I'm ashamed to admit I actually like, got into it and wanted to read more. That sounded really egotistical but, at least I'm honest and admit it.
Also, I kind of had to force it out. It wouldn't "come." Not like the other chapters wrote themselves at least. Another thing, I did change from third person for the last oh, what, six chapters, to first person. I was writing a new fic, which won't be published until it's finished, and that series was in first person so I wrote the story in first person, and this was half finished so I left it third person. Sorry. The author is totally lazy. If you read this note and review say something about evil monkeys in the authors closet if I don't update to prove you bother reading my notes.