II.
"Here he is!" cried Rapunzel, bursting through the library doors the morning after Christmas, where I'd decided to hole up with The Definitive Adventures of Flynnigan Rider, which had been the King's gift to me. It was a collector's edition, bound in fine leather and embossed in gold, with gold leaf on the pages. A really beautiful book that even a guy like me wasn't too proud to cop to owning.
Only I wasn't actually reading about old Flynnigan; I may have been leaning against a shelf of encyclopedias, thumbing through the P one for the entry on pear trees, because I was sure that Rapunzel couldn't have given me such a random gift without some meaning behind it. But I hadn't gotten any further than that pears were of the genus Pyrus and that their fruit was categorized as pomaceous, whatever the hell that meant (ah—produced by flowering plants—that was, luckily, in the same volume) when Rapunzel interrupted my research.
"Here who is?" I asked, clapping the encyclopedia shut and hiding it behind my back. You know, real smooth-like, so as not to attract any attention. Fortunately, Rapunzel was too excited about twirling around so that her skirts swept aside to reveal…
"Oh!" My voice squeaked with feigned excitement. "This must be the funny little fat bird that goes with my pear tree! He is funny and fat, isn't he?"
Actually, he looked a bit like some of the stuffed birds I'd seen displayed amongst the King's hunting trophies. In fact, I might have caught—and eaten—a few of those myself, on the rare occasions when an unsuccessful day of thieving had forced me to return to hunter-gatherer roots.
"Pheasant?" I asked.
"Partridge."
"I see." I ran my thumb along the smooth gilt edges of the encyclopedia pages. Another P entry. How convenient. "Where was he hanging out? "
"With his friends," Rapunzel chirped.
"Friends?" I repeated, watching her skirts twirl again as more birds-two more, to be exact-bobbed into the library. I didn't need an encyclopedia to tell me what these were, which was good, since the one I was still hiding behind my back wouldn't help me out here, their distinctive cooing sound enough to make them identifiable to even those who weren't members of the Bird Watching Society of Corona. Which was most people. "Doves?"
"Turtledoves," Rapunzel corrected.
"Why?" I asked. Meaning, of course, why had she given them to me? But when I saw the little crinkle form between her dark eyebrows, I couldn't stand the thought of her thinking I didn't like her gifts, even when I really didn't. "…are they called turtledoves?" I added, as if that had been my question all along.
The dimple in Rapunzel's forehead deepened, but to my relief she only said, "I don't know! But you know what I do know, Eugene?"
"That turtledoves just happen to be my very favorite bird in the whole world?" I guessed, hoping my voice didn't give away that I in fact loathed them. A couple had built a nest outside my window in the orphanage, and they'd cooed at the most ungodly hours of the morning. In fact, I'm pretty sure those doves were responsible for driving me to the insanity that turned me to a life of crime.
"They form pair bonds," Rapunzel said. She waggled her eyebrows. "For life."
"Pair bonds!" I repeated, doing a bang-up impression of a ventriloquist as I struggled to keep my smile from faltering. "For life! How 'bout that!"
Was this some bizarre way of proposing to me? Or of getting even with me for giving her a microscope for Christmas instead of a marriage proposal? But she'd loved the microscope. And it was too soon for a proposal.
"I'm glad they get along so well with your partridge." Rapunzel clapped her hands as the birds huddled together. "They can all live happily together in your pear tree, when it gets big enough."
"Yay!" I blurted, but thankfully she was too interested in the birds to catch my sarcasm. While she wasn't looking, I slipped the encyclopedia back on the shelf and then crouched beside her. She was stroking the head of the partridge, but when I tried to do the same, it snapped at me. I withdrew my hand, shaking out my bitten finger. Must be some princess trait, having a way with animals.
"Look, Blondie," I said. "I hope the turtledoves aren't because I didn't seem grateful about the pear tree. Because I was. I am. I just…You really surprised me."
"Really?" Now Rapunzel was the one who looked surprised, but she shook it off and grinned. "And nope, the turtledoves are all part of the plan!"
I quirked an eyebrow in suspicion. "The plan?" I wasn't so sure I liked the sound of Blondie having a Christmas plan. Or plot.
She leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. "Just wait till tomorrow!"
Yep. I was positive I didn't like the sound of that.