A/N: Look, you guys! It's Zetsu! You know, that guy with two personalities and green hair!...Yes, HIM. Please, I did NOT forget about him-what are you talking about?

cherry blossom infiltration

Chapter Five

Warning: This is a Sexy Zone

(or, How She Became Royally Screwed Part II)

"I'm kinda afraid to go to classes," I confided in Ino as we slowly approached Homeroom with Kakashi-sensei.

"Please. I'm pretty damn sure they're not stupid enough to interrupt homeroom to snatch you or whatever. And with that Akatsuki-free time, you will get your confidence back up again."

I just glared at her. "What, do you sleep with earplugs in? Did you not hear last night's fiasco?"

"I heard it forehead," She groaned. "Jeez, where is the risk-taker that is my best friend? Did she get kidnapped by aliens?"

I tripped her.

"PINK HAIRED-CHAAAANNNN!"

Everything went in slow motion. I turned around, a look of horror crossing my face as the orange blob flew towards me-

BANG!

"FUCKINGSHITDAMNBITCHFUCK!" I yelled, holding my head. Tobi had tackled me into a locker and I had hit my head.

"Tobi is so sorry! Will pink haired-chan ever forgive Tobi?" He sniffed, looking at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes in the world.

...I swear. If there was like a competition for puppy dog eyes, he would SO win the gold medal.

"I'm fine," I managed through clenched teeth. "Ah, Tobi? Can you get off me?"

"Ah! Of course pink haired-chan!" Tobi chirped as he hopped up off the ground, completely fine.

...Damn him and his never ending energy.

Brushing myself, I rose to my feet, eyeing Tobi as he stared at me. "Uhm...hello?"

"Pink haired-chan, Tobi is sorry! Tobi was just thinking how cute pink haired-chan is!"

"...Uh...right," I said slowly. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." I started walking away.

"Oh! Pink haired-chan, wait! Tobi forgot to tell pink haired-chan that Pein-sempai wants to meet with pink haired-chan after dinner!"

I swear to Kami-or Jashin, whoEVER-my heart stopped right then and there.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Sia," I growled during math. "Stop. Poking. Me."

The black-haired Uchiha just blinked at me innocently. "But Saku-kun! You're spacing!"

I had been, not that anyone could blame me. Pein Nagato, head of Akatsuki, wanted to meet with me one-on-one.

"Sorry Sia. I was just thinking about...tonight."

The junior's lips formed an 'O'. "Riiiiiight," She said, nodding wisely. "I forgot about that. Whatever you do, Saku, don't get killed."

I gave her a 'wtf-are-you-kidding-me' look. "Really Sia? That's all the advice you have for me?"

"Saku, I am not a self-helpbook. What do you WANT from me?" She snorted. "It's not like there's a book for how to talk to Pein Nagato without getting killed."

"Once again, your helpfulness astounds me," I said sarcastically.

Sia looked at me. "Bitch, please. I'm an Uchiha. What did you expect?"

"...Touché," I sighed.

Fifth period art class. Which I happened to share with Sasori AND Deidara. Oh yeah, that was going to be fun.

I sighed, pulling open the wooden door.

"Miss Haruno, good to see you!" My teacher, Kurenai, waved. Only a handful of us were on time on any given day, but she didn't really care.

I smiled back, heading to my desk, where I pulled out my sketchbook. Neither of the art twins was here yet; thank Kami.

"Eternal!"

"Fleeting, un!"

"ETERNAL!"

"Fleeting!"

Screw me and my big mouth; I had spoken too soon. The door opened and in they came.

"Mr Iwa, Mr Akasuna!" Kurenai greeted happily. "Good to see you two on time for once!"

The two artists paused their argument to return her hello, and that's when Deidara saw me.

"Sakura-chan, un!"

Mmmmmmm, he's a cutie! The voice-apparently my 'Inner'-purred.

Yeah, no, I hissed. "Hello Deidara-sempai..."

He sat down next to me, peering over my shoulder at my drawings. "Whatcha drawing, Sakura-chan, un?"

"None of your business Dei-AAGH!"

Sasori blinked at me from my other side. "Something wrong, Haruno-san?"

Yeah, you're both too close! I snapped in my head.

Ah, honey, they're not close enough!

"Ah...you just scared me..." I nearly stuttered, shutting my sketchbook. They were both leaning forward towards me. They were so close I could smell their hair.

*Their deliciously edible hair of gods!

Shut the Jashin up, you whore!

Sasori laid a hand on my sketchbook. "Something in there you don't want us to see, Haruno-san?" He murmured into my left ear.

"They're personal," I snapped, fairly aware of Deidara on my other side as I glared Sasori down.

"Are they really Sakura-chan, un?" Deidara breathed into my right ear.

HOTTIE OVERLOAD! MUST REBOOT!

I could feel the blush heating my cheeks. "Uhm. Y-yeah..."

"That's too bad..." The redhead mused, the hand on my sketchbook retreating to lay on my arm.

"We really wanted to see how good of an artist you are, Sakura-chan, un," Deidara finished.

Kamidammit, I cursed. Out loud, I said, "Maybe some other time."

"We'll hold you to that," Sasori said, straightening up. "Brat, we need to finish our paintings...although I'm not sure yours could even count as one."

The blond, flushing angrily, straightened up. "I'll show you a painting, danna, un!" He snapped as they made their way over to the easels.

As soon as they were gone, I slumped forward, my head hitting the desk. Holy shit. Were they trying to kill me with an overload of sexiness?

And just think, My inner sighed happily. We're meeting with Pein the sex god tonight.

My only response was a groan.

"Ah, Haruno-san. I thought I would find you here."

It was seventh period-horticulture-and I was in the greenhouse, tending to lilys I had been nurturing for most of the quarter.

"Zetsu-sempai!" I smiled. The two of us had done a horticulture project earlier in the year and I thought he was one of the nicer Akatsuki members, although his green hair was a little weird. Not that I could talk, with my vibrant pink locks. "What's up?"

"I'm supposed to remind you that Pein wants to talk to you. Unless Tobi forgot to tell you-"

"Nope, I'm fully aware," I said as I put the lilys back on the shelf.

"Good," He said as he watched me work.

"Do you know what he wants, anyway?" I absentmindedly asked as I wrote in my notebook.

"No. I don't think he's told anyone."

"Ah, well," I shrugged, shutting my notebook. "it was worth asking. Thanks Zetsu-sempai!"

As I exited the greenhouse, I was completely unaware of his eyes following my every move.

"You okay, Sakura?" Tenten asked during dinner.

I signed. "I'm fine. Just a little nervous."

"If you d-don't want t-to talk to h-him..." Hinata started, but I shook my head.

"If I don't go to him, he's going to corner me at an inoppurtune time," I said as I stabbed a piece of pasta. "I'd rather get this over with ASAP."

"Good idea, Saku-kun!" Sia chirped, patting my shoulder. "Just remember, don't get killed!"

"Again, thanks for the ever-so-helpful advice, Sia," I playfully snarled, flinging a raviolli at her.

She ducked, and the six of us absentmindedly watched as it sailed through the air, landing in some oblivious freshman's hair. Snickering, she replied, "Anytime Saku-dear!"

I huffed for about the fifty-sixth time that day, blowing a lock of hair out of my face. It was at that second that I noticed an abnormally large shadow covering my tray.

"Sharky-sempai!" Sia chirped happily, confirming my suspicisions.

"Hey squirt," Kisame Hoshigaki acknowledged her as I turned around in my seat to look up at him. "Ready to go, spitfire?"

I glared, flinging a raviolli at him. He just snatched it out of the air, dropping it in an unaware sophomore's bag.

"I'm not done eating, starfish," I huffed.

He just shrugged. "Too bad. Pein wants to see you now."

I pushed my unfinished dinner to Temari, standing up, pulling my bag over my shoulder. "Fine then. Lead the way, kelp."

"The hallway of doom when the lights are on," I said as I followed Kisame to Pein's room. "It doesn't look as scary as I thought it would be..."

The senior just looked at me like I was insane. "You've been down here before, when you fucked with Pein's room, right?"

"Uh-huh. But I turned the lights off so I could feel like a ninja."

"...Did it work?" He asked.

"Hm?"

"Did you feel like a ninja?"

"I didn't just feel like a ninja, kelp-I was one. Pssht, amateurs," I mumbled.

He just chuckled as we reached Room 537, which now had a sign on the door-"THE LAIR OF DOOM". I giggled as I recognized the catchphrase.

"Oi, Pein, open up!" Kisame yelled, hitting the door. "I brought Haruno like you asked!"

The door eased open and there stood Pein in all his-Sexilicious Piercing-glory.

"Thank you, Kisame. You may go." As the blue-haired senior lumbered off, he turned his attention to me.

My knees went weak.

Oh dear Jashin and all things that are sexy...

For once, mused as Pein looked at me, a smirk on his lips. I agree with you.

"So, Miss Sakura," He said, stepping aside and beckoning me in. "We have a lot to talk about, no?"

"So we do," I replied, trying to keep my voice even as I walked inside. The walls were still pink, and he hadn't gone out to get new sheets or pillowcases, but the picture of him and Konan was back in it's original frame, the teddy bears were piled in a corner, and he taken down the posters covering the bathroom door.

He turned to look at me, and I met his gaze evenly.

"I'm going to cut straight to the chase," He informed me, that damn smirk still on his face.

"You do that."

"You interest us, Sakura," He plowed on, ignoring my witty comment. "Some of us, more then others-"

"Im hoping you remembered to take your pills this morning."

"-but still, we all want to get to know you better."

"I'm honored," I said sarcastically.

"What I'm saying is-Sakura Haruno, would you like to join the Akatsuki?"

A/N: THAT'S RIGHT, ZE RAWR LEFT IT ON A CLIFFHANGER. What!

I was floundering around for two days trying to figure out how to end this chapter when I realized, OHMYJASHIN, I had forgotten Kisame! So that's why he's Saku-kun's guide this chapter. D:

I iz jealous of Sakura, she was cornered by Deidara and Sasori at the same time. Sniff. So much hawtness, so little time.

When I was writing Inner Sakura, she kept going all Southern Belle on me. -facepalm-

Once again, your feedback is astounding! I HAD NEW REVIEWERS! -happy dance- MY THANKS TO: Angel From Hell96, Lozbii, Ketsueki no Kuki, ers110196, L.M.D.A.A., RaccoonMetal, Black snake eyes, shadikal4ever, TheHyperLlamaWithPocky, Purple Sunshine56, music1462, and lightwolfheart! I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Again: if you haven't voted yet, DO SO. Leave any prank ideas and REVIEW!

-snuggles Gaara plushie-,

Ze RAWR