A/N: That's right, I'm busting out a bonus chapter as 1) a thank you to all my reviewers, and 2) an apology for recently neglecting cbi.
cherry blossom infiltration
Bonus Chapter 1
Akatsuki Goes Camping
"Tobi thinks we should sing songs!"
The other nine members of the Akatsuki, seated all the way in the back of one of the three buses that were driving KD juniors and seniors to Sandy Meadows, stared at him in horror and disbelief.
"Sing one fucking word, shithead, and I'll rip your damn tongue out and sacrifice your bitch ass to Jashin!" Hidan swore, smacking the hyperactive boy on the head.
"Hidan-sempai, you gave Tobi an owie!" Tobi whined pathetically.
The silver-haired junior rolled his eyes and snorted. "Fuckin' good."
"Shut up, Hidan, you're making me lose track!" Senior Kakuzu snapped two seats back, where he had a stack of cash in his hands.
The Jashinist flipped him off. "Fuck off, bastard!"
"Hidan, Kakuzu, knock it off!" Pein said irritably. "You're giving me a migraine!"
"Konan-chan," Sasori asked from behind the blue-haired female and Pein, Deidara sitting next to the puppet maker. "Did Pein-sama bring his meds?"
The origami lover froze in horror, racking her brain to see if she knew the answer to that question. "I don't know...ask Itachi."
"Uchiha?" Sasori said, turning around to look at the stoic junior.
"...Hnn."
The rest of the Akatsuki paled, stiffening.
Hidan said it best-
"Well, fucking shit!"
"I swear to Kami Deidara, if you blow up a single tent while we're here I will DESTROY your motorcycle," Pein said approximately an hour later.
They had arrived at the Sandy Meadows Campgrounds (luckily with no outbursts from Pein), and were pitching tents in the boys' section. Konan, of course, had to sleep with the other girls, but Pein was never going to forget when one of the employees mistook Deidara and Itachi for girls and tried to get them on the proper side.
Hidan and Kisame had nearly died laughing at the 'I WILL KILLZ YOUZ' look Itachi had worn.
Deidara wrinkled his nose. "Yes, Pein-sama, un."
"Pein-sama, can Tobi and friends sing songs NOW?"
"Someone needs to shut him fucking up!" Kisame said as he crawled into his extra-long one-person-tent.
"I have duck tape," Sasori said, pulling a large roll of silver duck tape out of nowhere.
"...Don't want to know," Pein said as he headed for his own tent. "Deidara, Itachi-there are no plugs for your hair straighteners here!"
Hidan snickered loudly before he was smacked by Kakuzu.
"No fucking arguing until morning!"
And since Pein had decreed it so, so it was.
Y'know, except not.
On the other side of the campsite...
Silence.
Stare. Stare. Stare.
"Seriously?" Tenten asked, looking at the blue-haired senior in front of her.
"Seriously."
Temari just facepalmed.
"ARISE MY MAGGOT MINIONS!" Shouted Anko Mitarashi-sensei, one of the chaperones for this trip.
Pein bolted up from dead sleep, eyes ablaze. "I AM NO MINION! I AM GOD!"
"Deidara, did you remember to bring the knockout gas in case this gets any worse?"
"Of course, sharky, un."
Pein swore loudly as he struggled in an epic fight to get out of his sleeping bag. Once he finally managed to free himself, he tossed it to one side of the tent and pulled a (fake) sword out of nowhere, pointing it at the oh-so-innocent heap of fabric. "Victory is mine! Once I control the world, I shall have all of your kind BURNED! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Outside the tent, the other eight male members of Akatsuki sighed.
"Are we shitting positive that those damned doctors didn't find a fucking thing wrong with him?"
"That's what they said," Itachi said, eyeing Pein's tent warily. Because, of course, it would NOT do to have a leader who was off-his-rocker. That's what the subordinates were for.
"ENGARDE!"
"Naaaoowww can Tobi sing songs?" Said junior asked as they hiked up a mountain with Asuma Sarutobi-sensei.
"What the fuck! Sasori, give me your god damn duck tape or I swear I will strangle his ass to get him to fucking shut the hell up!" Hidan spat, eyes widening as he glared at Tobi.
"Nooo Hidan-sempai! Don't hurt Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi wailed, hiding behind Deidara.
"What the fuck, un? Get away from me!" Deidara hissed, kicking the black-haired male in the shin.
Pein growled under his breath, rubbing his temples. "Konan. Did you bring rope?"
"Duh."
"Use it."
"Mmkay!" She smiled, skipping over to Sasori and stealing his duck tape before sneaking up behind Tobi and tackling him.
Everyone else just sweatdropped as they watched Konan bind him, dust flying everywhere.
"Stop moving!" Konan snapped, hitting Tobi's leg before putting duck tape over his mouth. Then she turned to Sasori, tossing back his duck tape.
"Kisame, carry him."
"I'm not a goddamn packmule," The blue-skinned senior grumbled, but picked up their bound member anyway.
Tenten and Temari, who were farther up in the hiking group, sighed. "Wow. Just...wow."
"Yeeeep. Poor Sakura."
"Pein-sama."
"What is it Itachi?"
"..." The quiet male eyed Kisame, who was still holding Tobi as they hiked further up the mountain. "When are you going to unbind him?"
"When we get back to the tents."
"...I see."
"Pein-sama was so mean!" Tobi sniffled an hour later, attaching himself to Zetsu (who had decided to go investigate plants instead of climb the mountain with the rest of them).
"You know Pein-sama does weird things when he's off his meds."
"I'M RIGHT HERE DAMMIT!" The orange haired leader fumed, before he began cussing in a way that put Hidan to shame and crawled in his tent, where his 'argument' with his sleeping bag began again.
"I vote we never let Pein-sama go on a school outing ever again, un," Deidara said.
"I fucking second that," The Jashinist agreed.
"He'll get over it," Kisame shrugged, pulling a bag of marshmellows out of his bag. "Who wants s'mores?"
"TOBI DOES!"
"I fucking need some of that shit!"
"Hidan, watch your language," Kakuzu said calmly, though his left eye was twitching.
"You fucking watch your shitass language bitch!"
"...That made no sense, un," Deidara pointed out as he stuck a marshmellow on a skewer to roast.
"Your face doesn't make fucking sense!" Hidan shouted, waving his skewer in the air like the crazyass that he was.
"Hidan, put the skewer DOWN. Slowly," Sasori said as they all scooted away from the silver-haired junior.
Itachi looked at Kisame, who was sitting next to him. "Idiots," He murmured.
"Yes, yes they are. Marshmellow?" The senior offered.
"Yes. Thank you, Kisame."
"My pleasure," The blue-skinned male grinned as they watch Hidan and Deidara chase Tobi for getting marshmellow in their hair.
"Deidara! I told you not to blow anything up!" Pein fumed the following day (their last on the trip) as they were taking down their tents.
"Actually, Pein-sama, you told him not to blow up any tents," Sasori reminded him.
"SHUSH YOU INSIGNIFICANT MORTAL!"
Kakuzu's left eye twitched again.
"It was a broken down bathroom, un! No one used it, un!" Deidara complained.
"DO NOT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO MINION!"
"Fucking leader," Hidan muttered. He looked at Itachi, who nodded, and reached into Deidara's bag and pulled out the knock out gas.
"MASKS!" Kisame yelled, causing Pein to stare as his 'minions' all put on a gas masks.
His unspoken question was answered when Hidan lifted the can and sprayed him in the face."
"And then we tied him up with the rope and duck tape and stashed him in the trunk of the bus, un," Deidara finished.
Sakura stared at them all (including the fuming Pein, who was muttering something about 'unloyal minions') for a whole three minutes before she burst into laughter, falling out of her chair and rolling around on the floor of Kisame's room, gasping as she couldn't stop laughing.
"Useless minions," Pein grumbled, and Konan patted him on the back comfortingly.
A/N: I think I'll do all the bonus chapters in third person, it turned out really well...
Sorry for the delay! I was busy with my leap into my newest fandom, and watching my ten-month-old puppy who's adorable but a handful.
Ah, off-his-meds Pein. I loved it so much that I reincorporated it all over this chapter, including the running gag of Tobi trying to convince the other Akatsuki to sing with him. Poor guy, it never happened.
This chapter does come after Chapter 6: the night she joins, after dinner, all eleven of them go to hang in Kisame's room and trade stories. Hidan and Deidara eventually bring up the camping trip, and Pein is humiliated while Sakura can't stop laughing.
My reviewers: I DONT DESERVE YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY. YOU'RE ALL AWESOME. Thanks to: MystereKitsune, himeko63, AnimaAmore, ZephyrPhoenix, Fallen310, asdf, RaWRSMiLeCHoMP, ers110196, shadkial4ever, Purple Sunshine56, LMDAA, Tough chickC iheartitachiuchiha, and Ketsueki no Kuki. VIRTUAL COOKIES TO YOU ALL.
I'll try to get as many chapters out as I can before December 21, cause I'm going to Chicago for Christmas and I won't be back until the 27th. But, please remember, I'm juggling this fic and one other at the same time. Ugh it's hard...but I am trying!
Oh shit. I just got an idea for a Christmas bonus chapter. -facepalm-
REVIEW. VOTE. SEND PRANKS. The usual.
HOT CHOCOLATE AND SUNA PANDAS (coughGaaracough),
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