A/N: Wow, I haven't visited the Cirque Du Freak fandom for some time... I need to read the books again. Anyway, enjoy my chapter on Vancha!
How to Annoy Vancha March
"Will someone get this guy a bath?" Yeah, yeah, I know. Well maybe you can trick him into taking one! Here are 15 ways to annoy Vampire Prince Vancha March, also known as the skunk's regular playmate. Remember, I am not responsible for anything that happeneds to you if you choose to do any of these things! Best of luck!
1. Tell him the ground suddenly became highly poisonous and anyone who sleeps on it will die.
2. Also tell him all coffins have suddenly disappeared.
3. If he still manages to find somewhere else to sleep besides a bed, tell him beds are the only safe place he won't be eaten by 100 foot tall immortal lions.
4. Insist all girls like good smelling guys. (Pretty much the truth.)
5. When he's sleeping, clean him up the best you can and put pink bows in his hair.
6. Set him up on a blind date. Have his date be a walrus.
7. Tell him it's now illegal not to take a shower/bath at least once every two days.
8. Give him a chandelier for his birthday.
9. Tell him his brother got all the good genes.
10. Invite him to a country club.
11. Invite him to a wedding.
12. Invite him to your Grandma's Thanksgiving dinner.
13. Cut his toenails.
14. Tell him you found out that a vampaneze that turns into a vampire and vice versa only stay that way for a little while and he'll eventually turn back.
15. Make him babysit a coconut.