Author: LadyFromPoland

Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.

Warning: SLASH

English is not my mother language.

I'm not sure when I'll be able to update the next chapter, I've got lots of work to do, but now just enjoy it!

Engagement of an idiot

Chapter 4

„Raven"

Arthur was desperate. He was ashamed of being so weak but temptation was too strong. Last few days were very difficult for his heart and he knew that his kingdom suffered. Although it was a lame excuse, Arthur asked Raven to come to his chambers. She was his royal bed-warmer but she served him just a few times. The last time was just after Gwen's marriage.

Raven had a good heart and was quite shy. Her occupation wasn't honourable but she didn't have a choice. She was alone in the world and without the job she would starve to death. A few nights in royal bed were a low price for her own room, food and some money for tiny expenses. Besides the king was a good man. Raven could see him in a very intimate situations and she saw all those feelings and confusions that he hid every day.

"My lord," she said timidly.

He looked at her, smiling sadly. "Thank you for coming, Raven. I need it..."

"I know," the girl answered. "Is it going to be as always?" she asked shyly.

"Yes, of course," the king assured her. "I wouldn't let myself... no... that would be wrong... so wrong..."

"But that's my job, my lord," she whispered. "Taking it, I was aware of the consequences."

"I want the routine, Raven," the king said quite firmly.

The girl nodded and sat on the royal bed. She took off her shoes and waited for the king to take off his clothes. When he was ready, she touched his cock tenderly and started stroking it. The pace was slow but satisfying. Arthur closed his eyes and started imaging all those things that his heart desired.

Raven watched his face, full of pain and sorrow. He was a beautiful but miserable man. She could see that he wanted something that he couldn't have and it was killing him. There were such things that even king couldn't afford. It was a terrifying conclusion.

Arthur started gasping and mumbling. He was close. At first, Raven didn't recognise the word that the king was repeating. However after a while he got louder and louder.

"Merlin... Merlin..." he kept on saying, not caring about the presence of someone else.

Raven closed her eyes, stroking him faster. It was clear now. Merlin was someone that Arthur longed for but couldn't really have. The king had never been so desperate. He had never said Gwen's name and the way he was calling his friend's name now was pitiful.

Arthur came soon, crying his heart out. Raven wished Merlin could hear that.

She got up and was about to leave the chamber in silence but the king stopped her.

"Stay with me," he asked pleadingly. "The bed is large... I don't want to be alone tonight."

Raven sighed inwardly and came back to the royal bed. It was all what she could do for him.

"Thank you."

oOoOo

Merlin was very excited. He couldn't wait for his and Arthur's trip. That was why he was heading to king's chamber in the early morning. The warlock was going to have breakfast with his friend and find out the destination of their trip, if any existed.

It was going to be a wonderful day. At least Merlin thought so until he saw a dark haired girl leaving Arthur's bedroom. The woman wasn't a servant. Merlin knew all of them. Nonetheless he had seen her before.

The girl looked at him and flushed lightly. Then she turned around and receded.

"Who is she?" Merlin asked Gail, the maid, who was collecting clothes for laudry.

The servant girl glanced at the other woman. "It's Raven," she answered. "She's living in the castle and she's... well... she's royal bed-warmer."

"Arthur's? Arthur has..." Merlin couldn't finish the sentence.

"Yes. Every unmarried king has one." Gail blushed. "You know... King has his needs."

"Thank you, Gail" Merlin said quietly and the girl walked away.

He couldn't believe in what he'd just heard. He thought that he knew Arthur very well but the truth was painful. The king was supposed to be a honourable man and such woman didn't fit him.

Merlin sighed inwardly and came back to his own chamber. He couldn't face Arthur right after such revelation. It was just too hard to pretend that he didn't see anything and that everything was perfectly fine when it wasn't.

Neither the scent of his books of magic, nor the entertaining spells gave him the comfort that he needed so much. Merlin couldn't even go to his fiancée and tell her. The situation was too complicated. She was a smart woman but she wouldn't understand his problem. It was a thing that he couldn't share with anyone.

"Damn you, Arthur," Merlin mumbled, wishing that he had never found out the truth about royal needs and whims.

Nonetheless, he needed to get over the revelation because he was having a trip with the king in a few hours. He didn't want Arthur to think that there was something wrong. Such suspicion always led to questions and Merlin couldn't answer them and he wanted to avoid lies as well. Arthur, having his royal bed-warmer or not, didn't deserve them.

oOoOo

"It's such a lovely day for a trip," Arthur said cheerfully when they left the castle behind their backs. "It's perfect!"

"Indeed," Merlin replied shortly, looking ahead and avoiding Arthur's sight.

"You're quiet today," the blonde said, watching his friend very carefully. "I thought you were excited about the trip."

"I am," the warlock assured him. "I was just trying to take delight in the nature when you disturbed me."

"Merlin... I know that sometimes you have a problem with doing two things at the same time but talking with me and gazing around shouldn't be so hard." Arthur smiled teasingly.

"And who said that I want to do both?" Merlin asked, grinning widely.

"Don't you find conversation with your king interesting, Merlin? That's a shame!" The blonde joked.

"I'm sorry, my lord," the sorcerer teased. "I won't make the same mistake again."

"I hope so." Arthur sighed inwardly because there was something wrong with Merlin and he couldn't push him by asking questions. He needed to make the warlock feel comfortable. "Let's have a small race," the king suggested.

"If you want to show off, you should know that I won't let you," Merlin told him. "I'm better at riding than you think."

Arthur didn't answer quickly because his mind interpreted Merlin and riding in a very inappropriate way. It was crazy but the king wasn't strong enough to resist.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked worryingly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," the king answered, clearing his throat. "If you really are as good as you say than the race shouldn't be a problem to you," he said firmly.

"It's not a problem," the warlock assured him. "Let's race to that mountain." Merlin looked ahead them.

"It's quite far," Arthur told him.

"Are you afraid, Sire?" Merlin teased.

"I was worried about your abilities," the king replied.

"Then you have nothing to be concerned about." The sorcerer smiled lightly. "Let's start!" he screamed and galloped away before Arthur could blink.

oOoOo

It was a wonderful feeling to gallop this way. Arthur quickly gained ground on Merlin but it was not the point of the whole thing. The king didn't remember the last time when they both laughed in such a cheerful and carefree way. It was priceless.

Suddenly Merlin started stopping his horse. Confused Arthur followed his friend and after a moment they remained static.

"What's going on?" the blonde asked. "It's not the place of our destination."

"I know..." Merlin whispered. "But just gaze around... Isn't it the most perfect place all over the world?" he asked quite weakly.

Arthur looked around and he had to admit that the place was stunning indeed. Everything seemed to be a little bit different and a little bit better than elsewhere.

"Where are we?" Merlin asked his king. "I'm sure I've never been here."

"You haven't," Arthur admitted. "It's a piece of the land that my father had given as a gift to one of the lords. I don't really remember what was the reason. I was too young..."

"We shouldn't be here, then," the warlock said, sighing sadly.

"The place belongs to someone else but it doesn't mean we need to ride away quickly. Everybody has a right to travel," Arthur assured him. "Besides we don't do anything wrong."

"Does it really work that way?" the sorcerer asked doubtfully.

"Yes, it does," Arthur said firmly. "I'm still the king."

"I sometimes think that you overuse your title," Merlin muttered a little bit teasingly.

"You should be glad right now," the king said, sliding off his horse. "Let's take a walk."

Merlin hesitated for a few seconds but then followed his friend. He didn't really have a choice. He was ready to follow Arthur everywhere.

"It's good to just walk around and don't think about everything left back in Camelot," Merlin admitted after a while of comfortable silence. "I love the castle and people who live there but I sometimes miss the peace and quiet. I miss the country life..."

"I believe your fiancée prefers those things too," Arthur said smoothly, masking his sorrow.

"That's true," Merlin said quietly. "But it's not the same. She doesn't understand it the same way I do."

"No one does," Arthur whispered. "That's the way you are."

The warlock smiled timidly. "Thank you," he muttered. "I never expected you would say such thing."

"Why?" the king asked curiously.

Merlin shrugged. "I don't really know. It's quite complicated... I don't even understand the reason. It's just the way it is."

"You're not alone in this world, Merlin," Arthur reminded him. "There are plenty of people who like you despite your overwhelming clumsiness."

"I would say the same thing about your being a prat," Merlin teased. "You sometimes still behave like one." The warlock sighed inwardly. He thought about Arthur's royal bed-warmer which made him sad.

"I know that my attitude towards Rowena is not best but I try really hard not to be a prat," Arthur assured him. "Really." He had no idea that Merlin meant something different.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, wondering what the other was thinking about.

Merlin knew that Arthur didn't want him to marry Rowena and he felt that the trip was probably one of the ways to convince him. Arthur didn't understand that Merlin was doing it all for the kingdom and him.

"I'm glad that you're here, Merlin," Arthur muttered suddenly, making the warlock shiver a little bit. "You're a good friend. Perhaps my only one friend..."

"What about the knights?" Merlin asked in slightly trembling voice. "They're your friends too."

"They're my knights and they protect Camelot." Arthur sighed. "They also respect me but it's not the same... You're the one who's always made me want to do things better." His fingertips brushed against Merlin's arm.

The warlock blushed lightly. He knew that deep inside Arthur considered him very important but considering and admitting were two different things. Arthur's words were wonderful but they also made Merlin feel insecure.

"You want to do things better because you're a good man," the warlock dared say. "And you care for your people."

"You have a good influence on me," Arthur said quickly.

"You shouldn't say so," Merlin told him. "Don't do it ever again," he begged him.

"But why?" the king asked. "It's true."

"Someone may hear you and it's dangerous. You're the king and you can't be pliant." Merlin was almost whispering. He was quite desperate.

"I should listen to other people and consider their opinions. You told me that plenty of times..." Arthur said a little bit accusingly.

"Yes," Merlin confirmed. "But you can't just listen to me and me only."

"I don't! I have other advisers and..." However Arthur couldn't finish his sentence because an arrow hit him and he collapsed to the ground unconsciously.

"Arthur!" Merlin cried and knelt in front of his king.

"He'll be fine." The warlock heard a familiar female voice. He lifted his head up and saw Morgana's tired face. "Don't worry, the arrow wasn't meant to hurt him."

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