In Her Eyes
Disclaimer: I am not sure if I already did one of these, but I am too lazy to check...so here it is. I don't own ER...that would be really cool if I did though....:D
Luka sat outside Abby's room waiting impatiently as his mind was reeling. Corday was extubating Abby because she had shown signs of breathing on her own and she had suggested that Luka stay out of the room for that. He gritted his teeth and stood up too fast as Corday walked out. She smiled and nodded, gesturing for him to go into the room. "She is still unconscious, but she is doing better than we expected." Her accent was strong and she patted him on the back.
As he entered the room, his eyes were shadowed with fear and he took a deep breath. Abby still lay lifeless on the bed, but she looked better without the tube coming out of her mouth. Luka sat in the chair beside her bed and glanced at the monitors. Abby really was doing better. Her vitals had improved exponentially since last time he checked them. He sighed and took her hand gingerly in his own. She seemed so small and weak; breakable. He had defined dark circles under his eyes and he knew that he needed sleep. He just didn't want Abby to wake up without him by her side. He sighed and whispered. "Abby, come on. You have to wake up for me." As he spoke, her hair was blown by his breath. Luka's eyes were red and tears threatened to fall. The muscles in his jaw were working as he held back his emotions. He tried to blink back the moisture in his eyes, but to no avail. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there, Abby. I will never forgive myself for not being here for you when you needed me the most. Just please make it through this. I miss you so much." His voice cracked and he stopped, a lone tear streaming down his face. He raised her hand to his mouth and he kissed her gently, squeezing his eyes tight.
..........
"Susan." Carter's voice was low as he tried to wake his friend. It was already 7:00. His shift had just started. It looked like Susan had still not changed or left the hospital. "Susan." He shook her softly. Susan jumped as soon as he touched her and gasped. "Easy, Susan. It's only me." He gave her a friendly smile and handed her a fresh pair of scrubs. "You need to change and then I will take you home." Her eyes were red and she shook her head.
"I'm not going to go home." Susan looked confused and she looked around the room, her eyes landing on Sam. She took a deep, rattling breath and swallowed. She stood up and took the clean pair of scrubs from Carter. "I'll change, but I am not leaving." She walked towards the door and was stopped by Carter's strong hand.
"Susan, you need to get some rest and you won't get it here." Carter's voice was soft and caring but Susan didn't care. She shook her head and stalked out of the door, leaving Carter standing alone. He blew out a breath of air and sat down where Susan had slept.
..........
Abby didn't know where she was or why she was in so much pain. She was so cold. Every part of her body hurt and she didn't dare open her eyes. It was even hard to breathe. Her muscles felt like they had been torn apart. There was a terrifying burning in her stomach and she was afraid to open her mouth. She was sure that if she did, she would scream in pain. Her head felt like someone was pounding on her skull over and over again with a hammer. She thought that she was crying, but she couldn't be sure. Then, she felt a pressure in her arm. It felt like liquid was being forced into her veins. It was uncomfortable, but not painful. Next, a wonderful feeling came over her. It was a protection from all of the hurt. Something was blocking all of the pain from hurting her and she was so thankful. Bliss covered her like a blanket, but a little hole opened up and let the pain enter again. Then the blanket didn't feel so great. She wanted to go back to the place where she didn't think, feel, or exist. It would be so great to not know anything anymore. Suddenly, it felt like something or someone was pulling her to the surface; to wake up. She fought it desperately, knowing that if she woke up she would feel all of the pain again. There was no way to know what was on the other side and it scared her.
She then became aware of a warm hand holding her own. The hand holding hers made her think of what would really happen if she opened her eyes. Fear rose and tore at her aching heart and she didn't want to think about it anymore. There was a soft voice in her ear whispering in some foreign language that she didn't understand. Confusion washed over her and some hint of recognition sparked in her mind. As sudden as the familiarity had come, it left. Just like that. It wasn't there anymore. She longed for the wonderful feeling of not knowing or being anything. She wanted to become nothing. All of this perplexity was not helping her headache. Then she felt a pulling and she came out from the silence, hearing and feeling everything. Her eyes fluttered open and a bright light blinded her momentarily. She heard an accented voice beside her but she didn't want to answer.
"Abby? Hey, how are you feeling?" The voice speaking next to her sounded caring and was full of love. "Abby? Can you hear me?" The voice was pleading with her to listen. Abby closed her eyes tight and gritted her teeth against the consciousness she was now feeling. "Come on, Abby. If you can hear me, give me a sign." The voice was growing frantic and she could feel a rush of air over her face. She opened her eyes, squinting into the brightness of the room. Abby groaned, and found that her throat was raw and very sore. A shadow ran to one side of the room and turned the lights off, finally noticing the trouble. Abby sighed and blinked into the darkness, letting her eyes adjust. She breathed in wonderful oxygen, and wondered why it was hard to take a breath. Each time her chest rose up and down, a compression was keeping the breaths short and shallow.
"Abby, come on. Look at me." Abby looked straight into his face and her brows drew together in uncertainty. "Good. How are you feeling?" He stared into her eyes and waited for her answer.
"It...hurts." Her whisper was strained and breathless. Luka looked at the monitors and pulled the oxygen mask over her face.
"There...better?" Abby waited for a minute and nodded, breathing in deeply. "You had me so worried." Luka grabbed her hand and Abby pulled away slightly. "What's wrong? Did that hurt?" Luka looked down at Abby's hand and swallowed. Abby shook her head and took the mask off her face.
"Do I know you?" Abby's voice was still a whisper and she pulled the mask back on, waiting for Luka's response.
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