Author: LadyFromPoland

Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.

Warning: SLASH

English is not my mother language.

I'm late again... Sorry! The chapter is not good but it's the introduction to the next one. ^^

Engagement of an idiot

Chapter 7

"The Bond"

Arthur was quite nervous when he knocked on the doors of Merlin's chamber and came in. He was slightly scared when he told his friend that he had a request. He didn't want it to sound awkward or like an order. Merlin needed to know that he had right to say no. There was no point in doing something that would make him feel uncomfortable.

Arthur hated himself for sudden lack of self-confidence. For a short moment he considered retreating but his warrior-self did not let him. Besides, Merlin would follow him to find out what happened anyway.

After a while of clearing his throat and gazing around, the king dared to make his request.

Merlin looked at him carefully and then grinned in his most adorable way. Arthur's heart, which had stopped for a while, started beating again.

"That's a great idea," the warlock finally said. "I must admit that you scared me. You looked so deadly serious."

Arthur smiled with relief. It seemed that just for once the fate didn't try to ruin everything. "I just wasn't sure if it was appropriate to ask," he said, trying to explain his behaviour.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Merlin asked. Suddenly his eyes turned sad.

"I thought that your fiancée wouldn't want me to distract you just before your wedding," Arthur said quickly.

"She's not like that," Merlin assured him. "I'm sure that Rowena won't mind."

"Good," Arthur said, nodding lightly. It was a moment when he was supposed to say good night and leave Merlin's chamber. However it was harder than he thought.

"I have a small request," the sorcerer said abruptly.

"Anything." Arthur really meant that.

"I want to be sober during my marriage ceremony," he said, "and knowing you I'm sure that you'll make me drink too much." Arthur chuckled. "That's why I think we shouldn't have our little party the evening before my wedding."

"That's fine. We can get drunk the day earlier than I planned," the king said.

"I knew you wanted to get me drunk!" Merlin said teasingly.

"True. You're so funny then."

They both laughed out loud.

It was such a rare sound these days.

oOoOo

Rowena couldn't wait for her wedding. The day was so near but she wanted to have it already happened. Then she would truly be a wife of a very influential man in the court. Then she would get the power which was one of those few things that really excited her.

She was wondering about her bright future when someone disturbed her by knocking. Rowena frowned and sighed silently. She wasn't in the mood for visits. "Come in," she said eventually.

The doors creaked and her future husband entered.

"Merlin," she said, bewildered. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a council to attend or something like that?"

"Well... I just wanted to tell you something and then I'll go back to my duties," he explained.

"Then tell me what it is," Rowena said. "It must be something important. You could wait and visit me later otherwise."

"It's not something important," he muttered. "I just want to make sure that you are okay with it."

"You're intriguing me," she said, frowning slightly.

"That's nothing bad," Merlin assured her, smiling. "I didn't want to confuse you."

"So what is it?" Rowena asked once again.

"Arthur wants to organize me a small bachelor party," the warlock explained. "And when I say small I mean just for me and him," he added quickly, watching his fiancée very carefully.

The woman smiled. "That's very sweet of him," she said cheerfully.

Merlin didn't know what to say. He hoped that Rowena would take the news lightly but he expected at least some questions. She didn't even seem be surprised that he would celebrate only with Arthur while he had many friends among knights. Merlin himself found it a little bit strange but it was Arthur's suggestion and he somehow liked it this way. It was good to think that he would spend one more evening as a single man with his best friend.

"Are you okay?" Rowena asked him.

Merlin took a deep breath. Once again he forgot about the world around him and it was mostly because of a certain royal prat.

"Yes, I'm fine," he said quickly. "I think it's time for me. You know... duties."

"Yes, of course. I'm not stopping you," she said. "But please, don't forget that tomorrow we dine together."

"I won't," Merlin promised and left the room in a rush.

He had no reason to run away but he followed the impulse. Outside he could stop and take a deep breath of a fresh air. He needed it to cool down. Previous thinking about Arthur made him nervous. He knew that he wasn't acting as a mature man but rather like a teenage girl. It was boding ill for his bachelor party.

Merlin needed to learn to control his emotions and he needed to learn it quickly. It would be a catastrophe if Arthur ever found out the true nature of his feelings.

oOoOo

Arthur knew that Merlin's stag party was going to be just the time that two old friends spend together. However the king couldn't help feeling a sense of excitement. He didn't dare to name his hopes but his heart was already filled with them. There was no point in denying it.

These days Arthur felt as lonely as never before. He felt that he was about to lose something very important to him. All those things that he had felt when Gwen left him seemed to be childish as compared with this new situation. He lost the battle before he had a chance to start the fight. He didn't even have an opportunity to try. Being the king didn't really mean that he was allowed to do everything. There were some norms and people's views which couldn't be changed easily and all efforts to change them would be highly risky.

It was good to dream but Arthur remembered that every dream had its end and the end of his greatest dream was dawning.

Enjoying the last moments of this dream was everything that Arthur could do for the next few days. Whatever would come after that was a mystery and he didn't want to waste time worrying about it. After all Merlin's marriage wasn't the end of everything. Arthur strongly believed that their friendship would endure anything. Even his broken heart would bear the humiliation that would come.

"Sire." Arthur lift up his eyes and looked at his servant who was holding the tray with the food. He forgot that it was time for supper.

"Thank you, Andrew," the king said, encouraging the boy to put the tray on the table. "I've prepared a list of things that I will need for Merlin's stag party. I hope you'll manage to get them."

"Yes, Sire. Of course, Sire." The servant grabbed the piece of paper and took a short look at it. "Everything will be ready on time."

"Good," Arthur said. "I've got something to do myself. I need the wedding present for Merlin. That's why I want you to prepare a horse for me. I'll need it tomorrow right after breakfast."

"This present must be something special if you're going to get it yourself somewhere outside the Camelot, Sire," Andrew pointed out, pouring king's chalice of wine.

"I hope it is," Arthur said, smiling fondly.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure Merlin will love it," the servant assured his king. "After all it's a present from you, Sire."

Arthur sighed inwardly. He wished the world was as simple as Andrew naively believed it was.

oOoOo

Merlin saw Arthur rushing out of the castle. He wanted to ask him what was going on but the king quickly climbed on his horse and galloped away. That was quite confusing.

Then he saw Andrew and ran towards him, knowing that it was probably his only chance to find out what happened.

"Andrew!" He called out loud.

The man turned into Merlin's direction and smiled at him politely.

"Where did Arthur go?" the warlock asked without saying hello. It wasn't supposed to sound so demanding but Merlin didn't have time to care.

"The king has some things to do," Andrew said, not wanting to reveal too much. "It concerns your wedding."

"If it's about my wedding, then you can tell me what it is," Merlin said encouragingly.

"No, I can't." He sighed. "It is a surprise. Now excuse me... the king will kill me if I don't clean his chamber." Andrew literally ran away, leaving bewildered Merlin behind.

oOoOo

Merlin didn't know why but he was strangely excited about the surprise. He couldn't just go to Arthur and ask him what it was because he didn't want to ruin something that the king was planning. He couldn't even go to Arthur's chamber to simply ask him where he'd gone in the morning because then he wouldn't resist to ask other questions.

It was really silly to be so preoccupied with something about his wedding while he didn't feel excited about the event at all. It was just one of the things that he had to do; like another duty. He knew that he wasn't honest with Rowena and she deserved more than him but she seemed to be quite happy. At least Merlin would protect and respect her and he would never intentionally hurt her.

He hoped that it was enough to make the marriage work. It was true that he had once believed in some values. The truth was that in his heart he was still carrying the image of ideal marriage. The marriage based on love and mutual feelings which would survive till the end of time.

However Merlin needed to leave the dream of such love behind him. In his life there was no place for such feelings. They weren't proper and they probably wouldn't be even mutual in the slightest way.

Merlin's decision was so hard to explain. Sometimes he himself didn't understand his way of thinking. However he remembered for all the time that he did the right thing and that his sacrifice was made for the right person.

There was one thing that Merlin kept on believing no matter what. He felt that his life would be unbearably empty without Arthur.

He couldn't be sure about Arthur but he hoped that the king valued their bond as much as he did.

oOoOo

"Sire, did you find what you were looking for?" Andrew asked curiously, putting the tray with dinner in front of the king.

Arthur smiled mysteriously. "Yes, I did," he said after a while. "It was not easy but it definitely was worth my efforts."

"Can I take a look at it, Sire?" the manservant asked shyly.

"Well..." the king hesitated. "It doesn't seem special if one doesn't know some certain things. And I want to keep it a secret."

"I understand, Sire. That's one of those things which make two friends smile while the others don't see a reason for a smile. How do people call it...? A bond?"

"I believe so," Arthur said, bewildered by the simplicity and truth of Andrew's statement. The king sighed inwardly. Then he cleared his throat and changed the subject of their conversation. "Did you manage to get all the things that I wrote down?"

"Almost," the servant admitted. "But as I said, everything will be ready on time. I know how important the stag party is for you, Sire."

No, you don't, Arthur thought, drinking wine.

oOoOo

When Arthur was left alone in his chamber, he lay down on his large bed and started staring up at the ceiling. He wondered what Merlin was doing. He wanted to know if Merlin was thinking about him as much as he was thinking about the warlock. He wished there was a room for him in Merlin's heart. He wished that Merlin never met Rowena. And finally he wished so much that he and Merlin were destined to share the every aspect of their lives.

Arthur tried to remember about his people and the promise that he had made to himself. However it was so hard not to let himself show the love that was running through his veins. Trying to forget about his feelings seemed to be even more impossible when he finally realised that Merlin was the missing part of his soul.

Arthur was trapped and he had no idea about how to get out of this trap.

The rain started falling, falling, falling...

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