A/N: Slightly crackish, but with references to an early chapter of the manga when Ichigo and Rukia are attempting to find a body for Kon.

Disclaimer: Bleach - it STILL belongs to Kubo Tite

Kon

"I hope you're not planning on putting that in a human," Rukia said sternly.

Ichigo rolled his eyes wondering where the hell she thought he was going to find a human corpse.

"I'm not a moron."

"No, that's right," she said with a mocking smile, "you're a regular ladies man."

"Shut-up!" He snapped, deciding he didn't want to know where she had picked up that phrase.

"We could always put it in dead animal," she said, looking at the small pill in his hand, "although it would have to be pretty fresh."

.

After an hour of sitting by a busy road Ichigo got to his feet and stretched, ready to admit defeat. Beside him Rukia watched as a cat passed by, a contemplative expression on her face.

"Don't even think about it, I'm not killing it. And neither are you," he finished as she opened her mouth.

Ignoring her pout he pulled her to her feet and then froze as he turned toward the fence.

"Hey, Rukia. What if we put it in that?"

She walked over to the pitiful pile of material he was pointing at and crouched down beside it. He joined her and they spent several minutes examining the unidentified object attempting to determine its exact properties.

"It's a...bear?"

"Whatever it is its very dirty, and it smells bad," said Rukia, reaching out a finger to poke the small plushie.

"Some kid must have thrown it away 'cause they didn't want it," Ichigo said, "its kinda sad."

"Just like the mod soul," Rukia said with a small smile "I think you should try it, just as long as you don't mind carrying it home."

Ichigo nodded absentmindedly before taking the pill from his pocket and placing it in the open mouth of the soft toy.

______________

"You're telling it all wrong," muttered Kon grumpily, "you're forgetting the part where nee-san administered the pill with her beautiful lips."

Rukia snorted.

"In your dreams."

"You're making me sound lame," said Kon pointing his blunt paw in Ichigo's general direction.

"Hey, I had to walk home with a fucking plushie," he replied, "and I have to put up with your bullshit on a regular basis. I definitely got the short end of the stick."

Inoue watched the exchange, politely confused, and Ishida wore an expression of contempt as he watched Ichigo wrestle with a stuffed toy only a fifth of his size. Chad, however, seemed to be struggling with some great internal dilemma as he watched Kon fly across the room. Apparently unable to resist, he walked over to the plushie and gently picked it up off the floor. Kon made pathetic little sounds of terror as Chad stared down at him, obviously fearing for his life.

"So-So cute," Chad muttered, hugging the mod soul to his chest.

.

Needless to say, it was a long, long, long time before anyone was willing to let Chad near anything even remotely cute again.