Author: LadyFromPoland

Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.

Warning: SLASH

English is not my mother language.

Happy New Year Merlin Fans! Have fun and enjoy the new chapter!

Engagement of an idiot

Chapter 10

"Cursed with knowledge"

Merlin moved slowly and carefully with his eyes half closed. Although he came there to look into the future, he was afraid of facing it. He remembered his fear after his first visit. It was many years before but he couldn't forget it. He knew that this time would be far worse because it was about Arthur, not Uther's death. However the knowledge that the crystals held was more important than Merlin's personal phobias. Besides he would do far more for Arthur. The truth was that not only Merlin had changed Arthur but the king had also shaped Merlin's characters. Without each other they would be entirely different people.

Focusing on Arthur and his own destiny, Merlin dared to open his eyes. He could not enjoy the beauty of the crystals all around him for a long time. Within a few seconds his eyes noticed the crystal which revealed one of the alternatives of the future.

Merlin saw Rowena by his side and understood that it was the option which the woman suggested. It was obvious that they were married couple. His own arm around her waist was clear enough. In a few seconds the image changed. Now he could see Arthur but the king did not really look as the man Merlin knew. He seemed tired and depressed. The image broke Merlin's heart. Then he heard Arthur saying "Merlin." His voice was full of desperation and Merlin wanted to do nothing but hug him tightly.

Then the image changed one more time. Arthur was sitting on his throne but the place at his side was empty. It meant that he wasn't going to marry. Merlin could see himself standing in the first row of people with Rowena by his side. She was the only person who seemed content with that situation. Arthur was glancing at her from time to time, as if he was seeking her permission. Rowena smirked at the king and her eyes expressed more than Merlin wanted to know. She was fully aware of her power and she was going to use it.

The vision blurred and for a few seconds Merlin didn't see anything. Then the continuation appeared on the surface of other crystal. This time he could see himself and Arthur. The king was caressing his arms and was mumbling something that Merlin couldn't understand. Then his vision-self walked away, leaving sobbing Arthur alone. None of them were happy.

Merlin closed his eyes. He had enough of that vision. It was killing him to know that all what he saw would happen soon. He couldn't let it happen. He wouldn't stand Arthur being so broken.

The sorcerer opened his eyes, willing to find an alternative. He needed to check if it was going to be better or worse.

He gazed around the Crystal Cave, looking for the crystal which would present another version of the future to him. He couldn't make probably the most important decision in his life, not knowing the whole truth.

At the moment when Merlin started to feel that he was not going to be given the alternative, he saw another image. It was different than the previous ones. Arthur was not depressed. He was actually watching a small light-haired boy playing in the royal garden. The king called the boy William and the kid turned his head around to look at him. "Yes, father?" the child asked Arthur.

Merlin wanted to learn more but the vision blurred and disappeared and did not come back. It was frustrating. He really needed to find out what was going on. However he had once learnt that the Crystal Cave didn't always give the answers to the question that one sought. The magic which was the heart of the Cave revealed only some information to the particular people. It would be hard to find two persons who would actually see the same thing. Merlin doubted if it was possible at all.

He knelt down on the uneven surface of the Cave. He was waiting for another vision but it was hopeless. He was not going to get another chance.

oOoOo

It was late in the morning when Arthur came into the ballroom. There was plenty of people inside. They all were preparing the room for the reception. Everything seemed to be fine but Arthur knew that it was only an illusion. None of these people could know about what had happened at night in their king's chambers. Arthur wished he could live in such oblivion too.

Then he spotted a nicely dressed female figure who was bossing other people around. Arthur didn't need to look twice to recognise her. He watched her, not knowing that she was aware of the truth.

After a while Rowena looked in his direction and bowed lightly. She said something to one of the servants and then walked towards Arthur.

"Good morning, your highness," she said cheerfully. "Have you slept comfortably last night?" she asked, smirking.

Arthur blinked few times. He couldn't help feeling that she knew more than he was giving her credit for. "Yes. Why are you asking, my lady?"

"You know, Sire... You must have had less sleep than usual," Rowena said smoothly. "I'm sure that you and my future husband were enjoying his stag party for many hours."

"Talking about Merlin... have you seen him today?" Arthur asked her. He had been looking for his friend all morning but there was no sign of him.

"Well... If you consider last night as today, then yes." She smirked evilly, not even trying to hide it.

"What do you mean?" Arthur was terrified but he needed to know the truth.

"My dear and honest Merlin paid me a visit last night," she explained innocently. "If you want me to be precise, he came to me right after leaving your bed."

Arthur didn't know what to say. It was clear that Rowena knew everything. However the strangest thing in this situation was that the preparations for the wedding had not been stopped yet.

"Don't be surprised, Sire. Merlin had to confess to clear his conscience," she said. "He wouldn't marry me, if he didn't admit to the sin first."

"You don't look disgusted," Arthur pointed out.

"Because I am not. I was so merciful that I've forgiven him his betrayal." She sighed.

"Are you still getting married?" the king asked in disbelief.

"Of course," Rowena said firmly. "I want Merlin to be my husband and nothing can stop me."

"What kind of woman are you?" Arthur asked angrily. "Your fiancée slept with your king right before your wedding day," he hissed. "Aren't you mad? Aren't you jealous?"

Rowena laughed soundly. "You're so funny, your highness," she told him. "I'm starting to understand why my fiancée is so fond of you." After a while she cleared her throat and looked Arthur in the eye. "I'm not a jealous type of wife," she said. "Actually, I can share Merlin with you. Of course, not for free."

Arthur watched her in silence. He was furious. The woman surely made fun of him.

"I am serious, my lord," she assured him. "My offer is serious."

"Does Merlin know about it?" Arthur asked angrily.

"Yes, I told him last night."

The king shook his head in disbelief. "And he's still going to marry you?" he asked.

"He's still sulky with me but I'm sure he will marry me tomorrow," she said, smirking. "He can't have you any other way."

"Of course he can," Arthur said firmly. "He can be with me. We don't need you."

Rowena chuckled. "You do, Arthur. You may refuse it, but soon enough you will find out that it's true. And you'll be grateful for my offer."

"You're wrong," he snarled. "I won't let you take him away from me."

"You don't have to," she said. "He's already left you alone last night."

"I'll win him back." Arthur was determined. He couldn't let Merlin marry this woman. It was no longer only about their affection. Rowena was purely evil and she had fun playing with their feelings. Even if he couldn't have Merlin for himself, he couldn't let him waste his life by her side.

"I truly doubt that," Rowena said lazily. "He's too much concerned with his destiny. He won't make such a great mistake."

"I won't give up," Arthur whispered so she could hardly hear him.

"That's what I wanted to hear," she replied in the same manner. "It's gonna be fun, isn't it?"

"I pity you," the king hissed.

"No," Rowena said. "I pity you, Arthur Pendragon. You're going to beg me for sharing Merlin with you."

Arthur couldn't stand it any longer. He couldn't look at her smirk and decided to walk away until he could stop himself from hurting her. He had more important things to do than arguing with some crazy woman. He needed to find Merlin and win him back, though he wasn't sure how to do that. It didn't matter any way. Arthur strongly believed that his love would guide him.

oOoOo

Somebody knocked on Arthur's door.

"Enter," the king said immediately, hoping to see Merlin's face. However it was not him. It would be too easy.

"Good afternoon, Sire," Raven greeted her king.

"I didn't ask for your company," Arthur said, turning his gaze away.

"Yes, I know," the young girl said timidly. "But I thought that you would like somebody to talk to you, my lord."

"Thank you for your concern but I'll be fine." Arthur wanted to be alone. He didn't need anyone but Merlin and since Raven was not him, it was better for her to walk away.

"I'm sorry, Sire, but I don't think so," she said more bravely.

The king glanced at her. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"It's not a mystery that Merlin was not seen today neither in the castle, nor in the city. It wouldn't be anything strange if he wasn't going to get married tomorrow." She looked down at the floor. "Besides you are not yourself today, Sire. You're clearly worried about him."

"That's true," Arthur admitted. "But you can't help me. Not any more."

"I know," Raven said. "I didn't come here to help you, Sire." She knew that Arthur didn't need his royal bed-warmer. However he needed someone like friend.

The king remained silent for a while, watching the falling rain. "It's been raining for such a long time," he spoke suddenly. "Merlin must be soaked. He's going to be ill..."

"He'll be fine," the girl assured him.

"I don't want to lose him, Raven," Arthur admitted finally. "I can't bear the thought that I may never see him again or that he's going to come back and marry lady Rowena. I don't want that."

"It's been obvious to me for a long time," she said quietly.

Arthur smiled sadly. "I wanted to believe that it was just the lust that I would overcome. However he's so much more... He's my other half." He closed his eyes. "The worst thing is that I should marry some noble lady to have a legitimate heir."

"That's the problem, indeed," Raven admitted. "But I'm sure that there is a way that you can't see now."

"I hope it's true." He looked at her and smiled. "Now you can really go. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure, Sire?"

"Yes, I am," he said. Just before she walked away, he added, "thank you for the company and your reassuring words. It helped a lot."

Raven smiled slightly. "It's a pleasure to help you, Sire."

oOoOo

Merlin couldn't stop thinking about what he'd seen even for a few seconds. It was terrifying. He couldn't focus on making a final decision. It seemed that he and Arthur were doomed any way. His marriage would not make anything right between them. The things were going to be even worse. However in the second vision Arthur was a father. The king was going to marry some lady and be happy. Nonetheless, they weren't meant to be together.

The sorcerer buried his head in his hands. He knew which decision was the better one but it was so painful to him. He knew that he had to let Arthur find his queen and have a son. It was an obligation of every king in the world. No matter how much Merlin wanted it, Arthur was not an exception.

Merlin wanted Arthur to be happy. It didn't matter what he would feel himself. He had always known that nothing would happen between them. He wasn't supposed to be angry or disappointed. And he wasn't. Merlin was just unhappy but who said that he had to be happy. The marriage with Rowena wouldn't make him happy anyway.

He sighed. He finally made his decision. Now he just had to come back to the castle and explain everything to Arthur. The king deserved to know about the vision. After all it was about his future too.

Merlin hoped that Arthur would understand and admit that he was right. He hoped that Arthur wouldn't ask him for being together until he found the right lady. It would eventually kill both of them. Merlin was sure of that. It would be impossible to let Arthur go after having him for some time. The continuation of their affair after Arthur's marriage wouldn't be fair as well. Arthur's future wife didn't deserve such fate. Besides the situation wouldn't be much different than the situation in his first vision. None of them would be happy this way. It was better to end any affair that they had now. Every day of delay would be too much to bear.

Merlin glanced at his horse. "It seems that we're going home," he said sadly. "Soon you'll be in a warm and dry stable, I promise."

He was angry with himself that he'd made the poor animal wait for him in the rain. It was thoughtless.

Merlin was heading back to the city when he heard a terrifying scream. Without hesitation, he galloped in its direction. Someone was in pain or danger and needed his help.

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