A/N: second chappie up! *grinning* it's still in Roy's POV. But I'll switch to 3rd person soon.
AvaEobane: you're welcome, since you're the second reviewer of my fic 'Expectant' and first reviewer of the sequel that you've encouraged me to write about…this chapter is dedicated to you. I'm glad I made your day *smiling*
Couple of Luck: *scratching head* actually, I don't really think Roy dislike kids either. Really, I think he is fond of them, but just doesn't really get attached to them. I put that line 'the Elric brothers would give you a lecture on that' because I honestly believe that Ed and Al (especially Ed xD) believe that Roy hate children cuz of the way he treats them. But the Elric brothers are not really kids…really they're mini-adults. O.O besides, most Royai fics have Roy all hyped up over being a father…I kind of wanted to change things up. You're right…Roy and Riza children fics are kind of becoming a classic nowadays. Before I wrote this fic, I started reading other Royai children fics for inspiration… and I think I read more than I can count. O.o… Thanks for the credit though, Roy's POV was kind of hard to do since he's a canon male character (I'm more used to writing about OC male characters that I'm the creator of) that I typically don't write about, but in the end I think I pulled him off. I'm happy that you think this story has good potential…you'll be surprised by how I 'spice up' this story. You won't be disappointed. *wink*
Phyonnah: aw…well, here's the next chapter. Thanks…I love how you love it so far. *smiling*
Riza Hawkeye fan: Thank you…*smiling* you're too kind.
Mylaervain: thanks for being my fifth reviewer! *smiling* thanks for adding me to your favourites list too. I'm glad you like the whole resentful/insecure/fearful approach of things…I thought that since most Royai children fics have Roy all happy that Riza's pregnant I should do something different. Truthfully, I've always thought that if Roy ever did knock up Riza, he would be insecure/resentful/fearful instead of YAY! She's pregnant! After all, he did kill a lot of Ishbalans in the genocide...and I'm pretty sure a number of those were children. How would his child victims feel about their murderer bringing a new life into the world after he took away so many? Roy does think of himself as a murderer after all, so how would he think of this as well? Not to mention, if you read the manga it reveals Roy's childhood. Roy was raised by his aunt, a flower shop woman named Chris Mustang (aka Madame Christmas)…I have no idea what happened to his biological parents though so I'm just going to make them up here. He probably doesn't have much experience with fathers…being raised in a household full of women and all (no wonder he's so good at communicating with them XD). After he was shipped off to be Master Hawkeye's (Riza's crazy old dad) apprentice…I think he probably got the good idea of how NOT to be a dad. (Riza's dad tattooed his own daughter…enough said). Many authors display Roy as the substitute father for Ed and Al…but Hiromu Arakawa already made that clear that it's Hughes, not Roy. Plus Ed doesn't really like Roy (cuz they're so similar; what we don't like in others is often what we only see in ourselves)…and the Elric brothers are not so much kids as they are adults. Thus they don't really need a parent. Besides, a baby would be just one more responsibility This is why I believe is Roy ever became a father; he would be insecure/resentful/fearful instead of all joyful. I'm glad to see you like it. *smiling*
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. But I do own the storyline and the OC John in this chapter. No flames…Roy will be upset if he sees you trying to steal his thunder.
Riza was two months pregnant. Only she and I knew. No one noticed anything out of the ordinary, and I never felt the need to announce the wonderful news. Sure, my group of subordinates wouldn't tell a thing, but I still told Riza I didn't want anyone to get their hopes up. Riza and I weren't known to be especially lucky. We were both known for quite the opposite, actually (Ishbal and everything)—so there was always a chance we could lose the baby. I wouldn't want to kill their excitement, after all.
Every single night my lovely wife (sort-of) would pray for a beautiful, healthy baby. Whereas I, also in the same bed, shamefully hoped for a miscarriage (I'm an Alchemist, so I don't believe in God) I'll admit, it was hardly better than killing the baby myself, which even I would never sink to do. During the Ishbal war, I was thankful I never had to go kill a baby unlike some of those other state alchemists. Just little children; scarcely older than toddlers. But never a newborn. Thank goodness
The worst part about this whole matter was that it was all going exactly the way as Lia said it would. I always hated it when my know-it-all of a little sister was right, but she usually is. According to her, I would join the military (check), regret it for some reason, (double check) and become determined to lead the country for some other reason (triple check). (She also said I would fail and lose something of value in the process…hopefully not) I would marry late to a girl I meet in the military and have children of my own (keep in mind I don't even like them; meeting the Elric brothers didn't help things in that department). My wife would spend her days painting and cooking while her husband (me) waited on her. It was so simple, so perfectly predictable…at least in her lousy opinion.
According to her, my wife would be lovable, caring…and most of all, fucking dependent…on me that is. Well, she got the last part wrong…and maybe the first.
"I hope you're happy, baby," I growled at the thought of that thing in Riza's stomach. My eyes strayed to the window, watching the rain slide down it. "I hope you like the rain, cuz I don't."
I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to tolerate the parasite using Riza's body as its own hotel. Riza sure didn't mind; as I mentioned before, she was happy about it. Another thing I now loathed about the baby is that it was now taking Riza and our cozy time together away; it was even worse than Black Hayate in that department. The doctor said sex would not be safe for the baby. So now I couldn't have any private time with Riza at all. I was now currently in the process of mentally making a list of 'Why I Hate My Baby'. I already got three reasons down.
"Damn baby." I muttered darkly
The bedroom door flew open. I jumped nearly three feet into the air. It was Riza. I seriously hope she didn't hear what I said before. The last thing my good looks need is a bullet to the eye.
What was wrong with me these days? Ever since Riza had gotten pregnant with that…'thing' (I wasn't sure what I call it), I had grown to be especially jumpy. I got scared at just about everything now, even my own shadow. Just for the record, I blame the baby for this. Another thing to add to the list
"Sorry," Riza mumbled, sure she was about to be reprimanded. Morning sickness, definitely
I shrugged, unwilling to start another argument.
"You feel okay?" I asked quietly. Riza mumbled a 'fine', and slowly pushed her way to the bathroom. I could tell from the expression from her face that she was strained. Add another reason to the list; it made Riza sick.
Seven more months…we'd be lucky to survive one more week.
I glanced out the window, shocked to see a car pull up in the driveway. "Who—"
"Rebecca, and her husband, John." said Riza tiredly. She didn't seem surprised.
"You just invite your friend over without telling me?" I asked
"You said I could invite her over last night," she reminded me, sounding grumpy.
"Oh," I said, dumbfounded. I had forgotten all about that. There was no reason for me to take any anger out on Riza. Sure, I hated the baby. But that didn't mean I hated her.
Riza sighed. "I could change plans with her, if you like"
I shook my head. I had to stop being a baby. "I'll talk to them."
I walked down the stairs, with Riza following me. I opened the front door for Rebecca, John, and their two daughters.
Two beautiful baby girls. Angels
Rebecca smiled a beautiful motherly smile, with her husband John beaming a fatherly one. One that made me felt odd on the inside, but in a nice way. (A/N: John and Roy are not gay in this story. Roy's just feeling odd about how John's so happy to be a dad and he's all resentful…for now *wink*)
Riza instantly brightened. "Rebecca!" she went to hug her old friend. I think they were roommates in military academy or something like that
"Riza!" Rebecca embraced her back. I noticed Riza had trouble putting her arms around her because of her now-bloated stomach. I almost smiled at that. Riza turned to introduce me "This is the Colonel, I'm sure you guys have met before,"
"Hello, Rebecca, John," I greeted, much less enthusiastically. "I forgot you were coming. I would have changed."
My hair was messed up, even more so than usual. Strands of it were covering the words on my T-shirt. I was even wearing plaid pajama bottoms. (A/N: yeah…Roy fangirls. If there is any reading this story...yeah, I don't know how you would react. But you definitely know what to do.)
"Nonsense," she said, cheerful as ever. "I'm no special guest. I have baby food on my pants!" she pointed to the splotches on her jeans
I tried to smile back at her, but it didn't work. She was holding one daughter in her left arm while the other slept in a car seat. Suddenly, I really, really wanted a beer. Would Riza let me have one?
Riza took Rebecca from her mother and kissed her dear little forehead. Riza definitely could do as a mother. Having the baby would pull her out of the depression she was now constantly suffering from. As for me…well…
Riza handed Lilandra to me. I took her in my arms. She squabbled cutely and waved her chubby little arms. Aw…I tried not to coo at her cuteness. Maybe this could work. Maybe I could do as a dad. Having the baby might pull me of the depression I'm now sometimes suffering from too…
No, I shook myself out of that thought. I would never do as a father. It would hate me. I would let it down. Just like I had let down J-
STOP! I mentally slapped myself for almost saying the name of he-who-shall-not-be-named. And I'm not talking about Voldemort.
Suddenly, I was broke out of my thoughts when Riza mumbled, "Gonna throw up." she handed Lilandra to me and quickly went to the bathroom to puke. That instantly reminded me that each day, the truth sunk in a bit deeper. Every morning I stared into the bathroom mirror and realized I would have to tell people soon. My mother for sure, my sister, and then my friends in town.
"Dad," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. "Dad," I said, a bit more loudly. It still didn't sound right. Riza spent a good fifteen minutes in the bathroom before I could force myself to go back downstairs.
I put on a pathetic smile and sat down on the couch next to Riza.
"I really appreciate this, Colonel Mustang," Rebecca said, biting down on her lower lip. She looked discouraged there for a minute. "You're sure it's not too much trouble?"
"No trouble at all, and call me Roy," I lied easily, faking a smile. Seriously? Had I been intoxicated when I agreed to watch her children? Well, this was Riza's idea. She probably wanted to gain more experience this way by watching other people's children first before our own comes out of the womb. It was so Riza…to think of something, but it was so not me. Hell, Lia's the one who likes to watch kids in the family. I was always the exact opposite. I think I probably mentioned this before, but go to the Elric brothers and ask them about how much I truly enjoy the younger ones of our generation; they'll tell you everything you'll want to know.
I tried to pay attention while Rebecca went on about special diets and a list of dos and don'ts. It wasn't easy to look particularly interested, but I hoped it did. Seeing as Riza didn't shoot me or something of that sort.
When she was finally done, I took Lilandra from her arms and Riza watched Rachel snore. If we were lucky, the two would sleep for most of their visit.
"Again, I appreciate—"
"It's fine," I said. "Really,"
"Thank you," said Rebecca. "I'll be back around three." She then smiled at her husband, who smiled back in return. Then the two left together out the door while holding each other's hands; smiling into each other's eyes as if nobody else in the world even existed. I watched in deep envy. Why couldn't Riza and I
I watched the two leave the house, wondering how he did it. Two children? He was only thirty…but so was about every new father in Amestris, including Maes. Why was I the only one who seemed scared? Wasn't it right that I should be next? People were probably expecting me to pop one out soon. After all, I was the famous womanizer of Amestris. It would be strange if a woman who knew me once didn't pop up pregnant soon…okay, so people probably wouldn't be expecting Hawkeye to be the one to carry my child. But still…the point is…why didn't I want what everyone else wanted?
I needed to get away. I needed to think.
"I'm thinking about taking a drive," I said casually, running a hand through my pitch-black hair. Mustang black hair
"A drive," Riza echoed, still looking at Rachel. She tried to hide her concern, but I could still see it. "Alright," she said
I just needed to be alone for a while.
My conscience told me that I probably should have stayed home to help watch the girls. It was wrong to take off. But if I didn't take a break from that house, I would have suffocated.
I knew I had made the right decision as soon I drove out of the neighbourhood. It was healthy to get out once in a while. Besides, after the baby was born, Riza and I have to take it of it all day as well as keeping up our military careers. I deserved to have a bit of freedom.
I stared blankly ahead, subconsciously driving, enjoying the fresh air coming in from the open windows. I almost shut my eyes. My dark bangs fell in front of my eyes, and that forced me to imagine what color hair my child would have. Would it be a girl? There was no point trying to deny her existence, so imagining her…or him…it couldn't hurt.
If we ended up with twins like John and Rebecca…I'd probably fry the bottom of my foot.
Wait…there she is. A beautiful, amber-eyed baby girl who looked just like her mother. I could see the dimples in her cute, round cheeks and that sparkle in her eyes that looks exactly like Riza's. Her tiny fingers would wrap around my own large ones and—
No. I barked at myself. I blinked, trying to concentrate on the road. My plan was to avoid getting attached. Maybe I'd be granted a miracle miscarriage. There was still time.
I felt guilty when I left the mall with six bags. I hadn't really planned on shopping, but the temptation was too great. During the trip, I got odd looks from the people in the mall when they saw me leaving the stores with six bags. Not that I blame them, I felt gay myself shopping that much. But it wasn't stuff for me. I had spent a ridiculous amount of money on items that Riza definitely did not need (and those did not include a miniskirt, for fear of one of her guns). But I would definitely appease her by showing him the baby outfits I'd picked out.
Just to make her happy, of course. I didn't give two hoots about the little pastel socks and sweaters, but I had to admit that I enjoyed picking them out. During the trip, the part of me that was excited about the baby's arrival won over thus making me enjoy my shopping trip. Who cares if those guys in the mall think I'm gay. I know I'm not and the baby is living proof. So there
I stalked quietly back into the house, knowing that Rachel was easily disturbed.
Riza glanced at me from the couch. "I'm going to hide the stuff," I said. She usually teased me incessantly about my shopping, calling me the g-word. I left before she could say a single word.
I put the shopping bags on our bed and took out every article of clothing I had bought for the baby, and hid them under a dresser. I planned to leave them there until our baby was born. Then I rushed back downstairs again to be of some help.
"Sorry I took so long," I said, settling down next to Riza on the couch. "I was in a shopping mood."
Riza cocked up an eyebrow, but other than that. She didn't seem fazed. "Uh-hum," she said, opening up a magazine. I checked the front. It was about guns. That didn't come as a surprise to me at all.
Feeling better than I did before the outing, I was content to sit by my wife without a word. I slung an arm over her shoulder. Riza read without a word. Obviously she was feeling the same as I was. Comfortable and at ease, at least for the moment
Not surprisingly, one of the babies started to fuss, ruining our moment. What did I like about children again? Oh, yeah; nothing.
"I'll take care of it," I mumbled to Riza as I got up from the couch. I had to start practicing being a parent sooner or later, so why not now?
I couldn't be happier when Rebecca came back to pick up the girls. She thanked Riza for agreeing to look after them on our day-off. She thanked me too, but I probably didn't deserve it. After she shut the door behind her, Riza gave me a concerned look. "You okay, sir?"
"Bad weather," I grumbled, pointing outside to the window
She nodded her head, understanding what I was saying. I always hated the rain. It made me useless. Riza herself called me a wet match in the rain. East City was usually sunny, which is why I preferred here rather than in smelly old Central. But today it looked so gloomy, which is perfect for my mood today.
We sat down on the couch. I swung my arm around her once more. She rested her head on my hand. Quietly, she suggested "Maybe we could go somewhere then...?" she suggested. I smiled. She was always trying to appease me. I wished I could do the same for her, but somehow my plans always get rearranged and she'd end up being the one to appease me instead.
"Sure," I said, always happy just to spend quality time with her "Name the time and place."
"Any time, any place. Whatever you ask, sir" she said softly, stroking my arm. It felt good.
"Today," I told her
"Alright, your wish is my command" she said, smiling
So, I started planning. I was tired of being trapped…in all ways.