Note: This chapter takes place during Eclipse, before Bella snuck away up to La Push for the first time.
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Chapter 4 – Jacob Black
I knew I was dreaming. But I couldn't wake myself up. Deep down, I could almost sense that it was because I didn't want to wake up from this one.
Because I was dreaming about somebody that I hadn't seen in a long time.
Jacob Black.
The large, dark brown wolf towered over me, its teeth bared, as it advanced even closer to me.
I only smiled up at him, feeling no fear. I knew that I should though, but I couldn't even bring myself to. I only felt trust.
The wolf stared down at me, and after a few moments, it began to shrink. My eyes were abruptly more focused, as I followed the change. It wasn't supporting itself on all fours now; it was standing on two large feet. I watched as the paws shaped themselves into dark human hands, and the fur disappeared from its body, remaining sticking up around his sharp face. His short, choppy black hair.
My smile grew, and my legs flew forward. There was nobody shielding me from him anymore. No arms holding me back.
I threw myself into the arms of my best friend and I started crying.
"Jacob – it's been so long."
Jacob's fingers reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes. "Bella, what's the matter?" His voice was just as husky as I remembered it – if not, even clearer in the dream. He was cutting off my oxygen as he swung me up into his arms, hugging me tightly. He buried his face in my hair.
"Jake – can't breathe," I choked out.
He dropped me to the ground, but left his hands on my shoulders, grinning at me. "Welcome back, Bella."
I laughed with him, and Jacob swung a heavy arm around my shoulders, leading me forward to his small house several feet away. We headed into his garage, and I felt myself sinking back into the more comfortable part of me that I had always been with my best friend.
"Feels good to be back," I told him truthfully, looking up at him.
His eyes smiled back.
*****
My eyes snapped open to the darkness of my room. Despite just waking up, I felt wide awake. Sighing, I stretched my arms out and rolled over, making contact with Edward's hard body.
His arms snaked around my waist. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," I murmured. "Just had a dream."
He didn't respond. His body only tightened next to mine, and I pulled back a little back, trying to peer into his face. It was too dark to make out the expression on his face, and I waited for my eyes to get used to the darkness, beginning to get frustrated.
"Edward? You okay?"
"I'm fine," he replied shortly.
I shuddered, and he began to pull himself back away from my body in response. I clutched at his arms. "No! I'm fine…Edward, what's the matter? Are you mad at me?"
I could feel his body softening up at my words, and he sighed. "Of course I'm not."
"Then what's the matter?" I pressed.
"It's nothing…you've just been talking in your sleep for quite some time now."
I frowned. "Oh. Sorry. Was I bothering you?"
"No, silly girl," he pulled my face slightly forward so that it was lightly pressed against his chest, and put his chin gently on top of my head.
I paused, replaying the fresh dream in my mind. Hesitantly, I asked, "What was I saying?"
Both our faces were hidden from each other. I may have imagined the slight tightening in his body again, but I was pressed close against him.
"You said my name at the beginning," he told me.
I relaxed. That wasn't bad. "Oh. That's it?"
"No," he told me honestly. It was silent for just the length of a few heartbeats. "Then, it changed."
He must have read the tension in my body also.
I sighed. This was pointless. He was dragging things out too much. "I said Jake's name, didn't I?"
He paused. "Yes." His tone was just a little too smooth.
I pulled free from his chest and stared him square in the eyes, even though I still couldn't make out his expression. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it."
"Don't apologize," he shook his head. "It's understandable."
I snuggled closer into him, and hugged my arms tighter around him, wondering how he was feeling at the moment. If there was anything else, he kept it from me. I figured this was a good enough time as any – now that he knew how much I was missing him.
"Edward…I miss Jake. You say you understand, but I don't think you do. I need to go," I whispered the last four words.
His arms tightened around me. "We're not talking about this."
I clenched my teeth together, and grabbed a fist of his shirt in my hand. "You say that every time."
"Then stop bringing it up."
"Edward, this isn't fair," I said angrily. He didn't respond, and I counted to ten slowly in my head. "Edward…" I tried again. "Please."
No response. He didn't say anything, or move – his breathing remained even. It was like he hadn't even heard me.
I narrowed my eyes. Maybe I was just going to have to try harder. "Edward, it's all I want. Please."
His arms wrapped even tighter around me, holding me close.
I pressed it even farther, trying to ignore the guilt bubbling slightly at the base of my stomach. Don't back down, Bella. I said the one thing that I knew he wouldn't be able to resist.
"Please, Edward. I promise you, it's all I want. I'll never ask for anything ever again from you."
His breathing spiked up. One of his hands reached up and wound itself through my hair, tangling itself. "Bella, please, don't do this to me."
My fingernails dug into his stone arms. "No, Edward. Just one visit." My voice turned pleading. "Edward, this is ridiculous. Just – please. Jacob needs me right now. It's all I can do."
"Bella, please get to sleep," his voice was strained.
I was almost there. "I'll never ask you for anything ever again," I repeated.
"Bella, don't say that. You can have anything you want," he pulled me back even more so that he could look at me in the eyes.
"Then let me go," I closed my eyes, trying to prepare myself for the one word that he was about to say.
His breathing hitched again. Then…
"Alright, Bella. You can go." His voice was soft, and I could hear the quiet pain in his voice.
I gritted my teeth. I had finally gotten what I wanted, and now the guilt was beginning to overshadow me. I pressed my face forward into his hard chest again, trying to keep the words inside of me that were threatening to come out. Don't back out now, Bella.
"Thank you," I whispered, when I trusted myself to speak again.
He buried his face into my hair, inhaling deeply. "I love you."
My eyes opened and I realized how truly lucky I was. My right arm went around his waist, hugging him tightly. "I love you, Edward."
Those words never seemed more true.
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A/N: This idea just seemed unavoidable to me. Sorry for all the Jacob haters out there, but I had to put this chapter in there. I tried to keep Bella's thoughts in character as much as possible, so please review and let me know how I did.
Some people have thought of Bella as extremely selfish, especially in Eclipse – but I've never really seen her that way. I wasn't trying to make Bella appear evil in this chapter, by begging with Edward about Jake, but I just wanted to have another moment where Bella is having this conversation with Edward, like she's had in Eclipse. This was just another way Edward gave in, and I hoped I did the characters justice.
Also, I wanted to say thank you to PrincessFerdinand for asking about when the story takes place. I went back and added a note in the summary, and before every chapter, I'll post the time period if it's necessary.
Once again, thanks for all the reviews! You guys are the best :)