Disclaimer: I do not own the Gilmore Girls or any of its characters, nor do I have any connection or affiliation with the actors and actresses, producers, show-runners or the CW. Because let's face it – if I did, Gilmore Girls would still be on, Rory would've married Logan, and I wouldn't be writing this fanfic.

Rating: PG for now, for language.

Major Relationships: Rory & Logan, with Luke & Lorelai from time to time.

Author's Note: Still a work in progress. Enjoy, review. Hopefully chapters 11 and 12 will be out mid next week. 

If I Never See You Again

By Heather Nicole

Chapter 10

Rory felt slightly better as she hung up the phone with Lane.

She took a quick glance backward at the beautiful house again and then faced out towards the street again, taking a deep breath.

'I can do this,' she told herself. 'I have to do this.'

She tried to force herself to be calm and composed.

Up those porch steps, and behind those double front doors, was the man she loved. Her future, the rest of her life, everything she knew she needed and wanted was behind those doors. The only way to start that future, was to knock.

As she prepared herself to turn around, she could almost swear that she could smell Logan. The faint hint of Old Spice – his body wash and deodorant – lingered around her. She felt as though the house had eyes – it was watching her, waiting for her to enter and make it her home, waiting for her to begin her life.

'This is a really pretty neighborhood,' she thought to herself. California all seemed so glitzy and glamorous, even Palo Alto. But somehow, Logan had managed to find a street that, while adorned with beautiful houses, they were a little more modest, and it seemed a little more friendly and welcoming – the only thing that would make it feel more welcoming and homey was a gazebo and a Luke's Diner. She looked down the street to her right at the houses surrounding her … and then to her left.

And that's when she saw him out of the corner of her eye – it startled her.

"Oh my God!" Rory exclaimed, as she jumped and faced the house to see Logan standing there, leaning against the house to the right side of the double doors, watching her.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked him.

"About five minutes," he said, his voice soft. "How long have you been standing there?"

"About a half an hour," Rory said sheepishly.

"Whatcha doin'?" Logan said in a soft, teasing voice.

"I … I …" Rory stammered, looking him over up and down. His face, his eyes, his body, his feet. "You're not wearing any shoes."

"Yea, well, I kept hearing this scampering up and down my stairs, and it sounded like a really big squirrel was about to break in," he said. "I had to come running."

"Oh," Rory said.

"You didn't answer me," he said, and then asked again, "What are you doing?"

"I'm here to see you," she said, softly.

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Because." Rory answered succinctly.

"Because why?" Logan said with a smirk.

Rory stayed silent and looked at her feet.

Logan was simultaneously enamored with her and frustrated with her. She could be so cute and so like a little kid – it was adorable. But at the same time, he sometimes wished she would just spit it out and say what she was thinking, without analyzing it all.

"C'mon Rory," Logan said. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on a campaign bus in Iowa with Barack Obama and instead, you're on our front lawn. Or is it my front lawn? I don't know, because I'm not sure what you're doing here."

He stepped forward on the porch and sat down on the first stair.

"We went our separate ways. You didn't want to marry me. You wanted your life and your freedom, and now you're here. The past few weeks have been hell for me. I'm sure they haven't been easy for you either. But now you're here, and it's even more torture – because I don't know why or for how long," he said.

Rory considered his words and, as he took a breath to begin again, she began to speak instead.

"It wasn't supposed to end that way," Rory said. "Not you and me. We weren't supposed to be done that way. We weren't even supposed to be done."

"Then why didn't you want to marry me?" Logan said.

"It's not that I didn't want to marry you," Rory answered. "Don't you know enough about me by now to know that?"

"I don't know what I know anymore, Rory. My life has been turned upside down inside of a few weeks," he explained.

Rory took a few steps forward, still nervous, but also growing in confidence.

"Logan, I love you," she said. "Don't you know that?"

"I do know that," he said. "But I'm not sure where that leaves us if you don't want to marry me."

"Logan," she began, "I'm here because I can't live without you. I'm here because I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I've known that for awhile now. It's never been a question of whether or not I 'want' to marry you. The question is whether I'm ready. Those are two totally different things."

"So where does that leave us?" Logan said.

"I understand where you're at in your life Logan, I know you want to move forward," Rory explained. "And I know that the long distance thing wouldn't work. I was silly to ever suggest that idea. We're closer now than we were when you were in London. And it's just too hard."

"Which is why I thought getting engaged seemed like a good idea," he said.

"It is a good idea … in theory," she said.

"What does that mean?" Logan asked, a little off-put.

Rory took a few more steps forward, set her bag down at the foot of the porch, and made her way up the steps until she was close to Logan.

"May I?" she motioned to sit down.

"Sure," Logan nodded. "It was supposed to be your porch, too."

Rory could hear his disappointment, still, and his voice shook, only a little, with uncertainty – only enough for someone who really knew him to notice.

"Where was I?" she asked.

"You were about to explain to me why getting married to me was only good 'in theory,'" he said with a hint of hurt and agitation.

"Right," she said. "I haven't really had a lot of time to just be a grown, adult woman, you know? I've always had this responsibility of school and being the best in school and building this resume for a dream career. I've never gotten to really be a grown-up yet. I just graduated. I just started looking for a job. And you know me – I need time to adjust to things.

"So, for you to propose to me, just a few days before I graduated … when I had no job, when I was just about to be thrust into the real world, away from the shelter of Yale and quite possibly the place I've lived in and the same people I've lived with for all of my life … I was already dealing with a lot.

"And then I have this other set of big changes to grapple with. Getting married. Planning a wedding. Finding a job. Moving across the country to a city and a state I've never even visited. That's a lot to deal with … even if everything about that set of changes is really something I want."

"Are you saying you've adjusted now?" he said.

"No," she said. His face fell. "But I want to get myself adjusted."

"What does that mean?" he said.

"I'm not ready to be engaged yet. I can't wrap my mind around planning a wedding yet," she said. "But I was about to set out on a cross county tour on a campaign bus and live out of a suitcase in crappy motels … I could probably make a move to California instead. It's definitely a lot more stable.

"I mean … I'll still need to find a job. And that will take time. And I'm not saying it's going to be easy, because I'm going to miss my mom, and Stars Hollow, and my friends.

"Buuuutttt," she continued, drawing out the word and she looked towards him. He was already looking at her, and they locked eyes. It felt like something in her mind switched on and came alive as it hadn't in days. "But, if you still want me here, and if you don't mind taking in a jobless refugee who can't really pay any rent for a little while –"

And finally, Logan let his senses take a hold of him. With her this close, saying the things she was saying, and easing his pain, he couldn't stop himself.

In a split second, he'd cupped her face in his hands and cut her off with a breath taking kiss and ignited every sense in her body.

His kiss was gentle, but forceful; soft, but passionate. His breath was minty from just brushing his death and his lips were warm.

He felt relieved to have her mouth on his again. The familiar taste of strawberry chapstick, the texture and softness of her lips, and the small but cute groan that escaped her lips with the surprise of the kiss made him forget why he'd ever been sad.

She pulled away, to look him in the eyes.

"Does that mean I can stay here with you?" Rory asked.

Logan answered her with another short but fiery kiss.

"For a smart girl, you can be awful dense, Ace," he answered, at a whisper she could here only because she was so close.

She closed the gap between him with another kiss, holding onto this one longer, running her fingers through his hair and drawing light circles over the back of his neck with the fingers of her right hand. She followed it with another kiss, sucking briefly on his bottom lip and tracing it lightly with her tongue for only a second, making it his turn to let a deep groan escape. But this time, he was the one to stop her.

"Can I ask you one question?" he said.

"Sure," Rory nodded.

"Where are all your things?" Logan asked.

"Well, I was stuck on a long layover in O'Hare, between Hartford and Des Moines, when I decided to make a detour to California," she said. "It didn't occur to me 'til I was already on the flight that my luggage was checked for a flight to Des Moines. Clearly I don't operate well without a plan."

"How did you pay for the ticket?" he asked.

"I didn't," she said, sheepishly. "Richard and Emily did … I kind of expanded the definition of 'for-emergencies-only-credit-card' to include a trip to California to be with you. They don't know yet."

"Wow, Gilmore," he said. "You took an awful lot of gutsy risks to get here."

"Yea, I did … but desperate times call for desperate measures," she smiled. "Of course that means I don't have any clean clothes or underwear here."

"I'm not going to argue with that," Logan laughed, and kissed her. She swatted at him, jokingly. "Of course, I can probably help you make a few calls to get them back."

"Well, if we're going to go make calls, we should probably go inside the house," she suggested. "Our house."

Logan smiled and stood up, and offered her his hand, pulling her up and picking up her bag.

"I like the way that sounds," he said, intertwining his fingers with hers and leading her to the still open door.

And as he led her through the doorway and into the house the had been begging for her since the day he moved in, he whispered into her ear.

"Welcome home."

A/N: This story isn't done yet. :)

I'll update more this week.