What is this, now, the 16th chapter? Wow. This chapter I wrote mainly in Creative Writing, when we, incidentally, started our humor unit. I'm sitting there like, "…I could be funny, but only anime fans would get it…". Then today in that class we started the movie "Big Fish". I related things to FMA. No life. Anyway. In history yesterday, 2 idiots were doing a presentation on the 7 Deadly Sins. I thought it was going to be good. Then they spelled "Gluttony" as "Glutny". And I was sitting there like "Why are you wasting my life?" All they did was say what they were. They're like, "Envy is like when someone has something and you want it," and I'm in the corner coughing out "jealousy". Morons. It was even worse than when we talked about it in English last year and all I did was draw pictures of the Homunculi and Dante in my notebook! Oh, and I finally remembered something that I wanted to say: Don't be afraid to ask questions to manga-only characters, like Ling and LanFan! Cuz no one's done that yet. Lol. Just let me know if you're asking like, say, the manga Pride or something so I don't get it confused with the anime one. If you do.

To Ed:
1. YOU'RE SEXY! WILL YOU MARRY ME?
2. I don't know what the h311 is wrong with people. You're NOT short! I'm shorter than you, in fact!
3. Is the automail uncomfortable to sleep with at night?

To Roy Mustang:
ED IS TEN MILLION TIMES HOTTER THAN YOU, HORSE $$!

To Rose:
My friend Chad (He doesn't have an account here) would like to say he thinks you're cute and he would totally go out with you.

To Hughes:
I don't know why people hate it you when you show pictures of Elysia. Personally, I would like to see pictures of your adorable daughter!

To Marta:
Why the h311 hasn't anyone asked you questions? You are my favorite female character! And I look exactly like you! I could cosplay as you! YOU ROCK!

HisokaYukiko

Ed: Umm…Thanks, but I don't think I'm ready to get married…or old enough. (A/N pre-movie)

Roy: I guess that short people like to stick together…

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE NEEDS TO LOOK UP TO LOOK AT THE FLOOR???? As for your other question, it used to be pretty bad, but now I've gotten used to it. It is kind of uncomfortable, though, when I wake up and it's underneath me, digging into my skin.

Rose: Thanks…I appreciate it! But I need to think of what's best for my son first, and while a father may be good for him, I just don't have the time to date anyone at this point.

Hughes: See? I knew people loved my pictures!! So which ones do you want to see now? I've got a lot of them with me!

Ed: Just look at what you've done…

Hughes: Now, now, Ed, don't get jealous!

Ed: …I'll try not to.

Hughes: Hahaha! 3

Marta: Thankss. No one's said anything to me before on this thing. So thankss for the enthusiasm.

Winry, if you had to choose, who would you go out with: Ed, Al (in his body), Russell, or Roy?

Harryswoman Winry: Well Roy's WAY too old for me…

Roy: Who are you calling old?

Winry: …And plus he killed my parents, so I just don't think that it would work out. And who is this "Russell" person? I've never met him before. So that leaves Ed and Al. Like I've said before, they're kind of similar, but Ed's more…um…how do I say this…crazy?

Ed: I AM NOT CRAZY!!!

Winry: Well, not crazy! But he's not as even-tempered as Alphonse, and I think that Ed's more determined, but they're both equally caring; they just show it in different ways.

Ok...so as it stands...

Me and Envy are gonna go kill people...but Wrath can't come, he's being rude. And Sloth's coming too.

To Ed: Admit you're short. Everyone thinks you're annoying denying it. And if you want to fight, bring it on.


To Al: Hah...your human form is so cute! And yes...I think you're old enough to make your own decisions. So get the dmn cat.

To Winry: You don't have anything against Wrath right? Because if they remake this show and he survives, there's a good chance he's living with you.

To Lust: You should of kicked Dante's $$.

To Schezka: Do you realize that without you...Ed would be dead? You should get him to say thanks.

To Roy: Ha. I agree with everything you say about Ed. And what's with the whole miniskirt thing...you need to calm down a bit.

To Wrath: Really though... you can be like an angel and then a pain in the $$. And again you want to kill me, bring it... I'm not scared of death.

IaMnOtDrEaMiNg Ed: I AM NOT FREAKING SHORT!!!

Al: That's what I keep telling him (not that I'm cute, that I can make my own decisions)! But he never listens to me!

Ed: I listen to you, I just don't think that we should get a cat! It's too much trouble! You know that if you get one something's going to go wrong! What if it gets sick and we don't know what's wrong with it and we can't get it to a vet and it dies!?

Al: That's not going to happen!

Ed: You're right, and that's because we're not getting a cat!

Winry: …Um…I guess Wrath's okay. He kind of ran off after I equipped him with automail, though. But he's a cute little "kid", and he has ties to some of my friends.

Lust: Yes, well. That's why I teamed up with the Elrics at the end once I got fed up with her. Unfortunately, she was too powerful for me.

Schezka: Wow, I never thought about that. I guess you're right.

Ed: …Thanks…

Schezka: No, no! You helped me out first!

Roy: See? Here's someone who agrees that picking on the FullMini Alchemist is okay- and fun.

Ed: What did you call me…???

Roy: Now, now, Ed. Let's not loose our temper. As for the miniskirt thing, I think that I'm being perfectly reasonable.

Girls: No. You're not.

Military Guys: We'll support you!!

Wrath: No!

Hohenheim: Wrath changes quote a bit over the series, from when he was on Yock Island to when he eats the stones, then again at the very end into the movie. When he answers questions, it will usually be in between the time that he first ate the red stones and the movie, but sometimes it will be before or after.

Hey, it's me again, Winifred Stonewell. I followed your advice, talked it over with Edmund, and we got married. Afterwards, he decided to go to London to speak with a man named Van Hohenheim. On the way back, he was crushed by a falling zeppelin. I have a feeling that it had nothing to do with him though. And here in Munich, a young man has moved in with my cousin, Alfons Heidrich. He looks exactly like my Edmund, but with longer hair. His name is Edward Elric, and by coincidence, Van Hohenheim's son. He keeps ranting about some other world, and for some reason, I feel as if he has something to do with my Edmund's death. What should I do?

Winifred Stonewell-Ulrich

Ed: That sounds oddly familiar…Who are you again?

Winry: I thought the last time you wrote in, your relationship was all rocky and stuff, and now you just got married to the guy?

Ed: This is all too confusing for me…

Winry: I'm not really sure what's going on, either, but maybe you should just talk to the other guy? I don't know.

Greetings everyone! I'm back again!

Ed: Can you describe the training you did with Izumi, and what style of martial arts it is? It looks interesting and a perfect way to get healthy...quick.

Mustang: I can't believe I'm asking this...but, when do you know when the right time is to ask a girl out?

Envy: I realized after reading the column that what you're wearing are shorts...but then I thought to myself...would calling it a kilt be bad? I mean, it's not girly at all. And for my question, what other form (other than the one you're usually seen in) is your favorite?

Peace out...Vyser D!

P.S.

Ed...Power to the great Alchemist with the big skills and cools abilities!

Ed: …That training was hard and scary back then…Like she said before, Izumi-sensei's martial arts is like a mix of many different ones, so it's like her own kind. Yeah, and thanks for the compliments.

Roy: Anytime is a good time to ask a girl out! I do it all the time. Just walk up to her and-

Ed: Yeah, but what if she doesn't like you?

Roy: All girls like me!

Ed: …First of all, probably not, and secondly, I didn't mean you personally.

Roy: Well, you'll never know what she's going to say until you ask her! Just assume that she likes you; that way, you'll have more confidence. Girls like that.

Ed: Just don't let it go to your head, or you'll end up as cocky as him.

Envy: …It's not a kilt, either. Though I guess that isn't as bad as calling it a skirt. But it's really neither; more like it's own kind of clothing.

Breda: What's up with your fear of dogs? Were you bitten by one when you were a kid?

To anyone who wants to help me: Alright I have an ex-boyfriend that broke up with me like... months ago, and I hate him... a lot. Anyway he's been accusing me of cheating on him while me and him were dating, I angrily told him I wasn't and I'm very sure he doesn't believe me. Plus he's started to ask my friend how I've been doing and he's even started to loom over her shoulder and read her notes to friends during class, and it's starting to p1$$ her off... should I tell him off or what?

Shoushin Breda: Dogs just scare me! I've never liked them. I'm pretty sure that one of my first encounters with one was when I was really little, and it was like this big Doberman or something. It didn't hurt me or anything, but I've been afraid of them ever since. Winry: You should kick that guy's $$!!

Ed: Um…Winry?

Winry: He has no right to be bothering you or your friend like that!! You should tell that guy off, and assert your rights! And hit him on the head with a wrench!

Ed: ……Maybe you should talk to him first?

Winry: Or hit him on the head with a wrench.

Roy...YOU'RE MY HERO! But you see...I think that my cousin might like him too...what do I do?

tootsiepopgurl

Ed: Yeah. He's your hero, the hero of Ishbal, what next?

Roy: Fuhrer. Oh, and just ask the kid out.

Riza: You should find out how your cousin feels, first.

Roy: But then you'd risk loosing your crush to another woman.

Riza: It's better than hurting her.

Roy: Have you ever been on a date before?

Riza: That has nothing to do with this, sir. You're just concerned with your own pleasure, and for your information, yes, I have been on dates before!

Roy: With who?

Riza: Colonel!!!

Hughes: when you died, I almost smashed my computer screen. Dmn you, Envy!

Ed/Win is meant to be. As much as you may protest, we fangirls know that it is so. Deal with it.

Envy: you have a cool name. Is it ok if when I'm IMing I shorten it to NV?

Gluttony: why do you get all messed up in the movie? What is up with all the extra heads and necks and arms and stuff?

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

Hughes: Yes…so sad.

Envy: Shut up. He was getting too close to our plans. It was an easy job, though.

Winry: (blushing) …I…don't know about that…maybe…

Ed: (blushing, too) Yeah, well…I don't know…

Envy: Well, yeah. We're named after the Seven Deadly Sins, after all. So do whatever the h311 you want.

Gluttony: …

Hohenheim: Dante used her Alchemy to turn him into pure gluttony, so he kept continuously eating, therefore continuously growing. Since he was a Homunculus, I think that affected how he grew as well.

Ok, I'm back! With more (probably disturbing) questions!
Edo-kun, Alphonse-kun and Envy-kun: Don't worry-I just can't imagine any of you guys together... it's just kinda creepy... and incestuous. Can't forget incestuous. :Shudders: Ew.

Roy: Yeah, you're right. Hot trumps cute, but I'm a lot closer to Ed in age. So if I had to pick, I'd go with him. No offense, but I'm 18. Anyways (and again, no offense)- Ed isn't useless in the rain. 0:-)Oh and... Pyrokinesis (and by extension, Flame Alchemy) rocks!

Wrath: Kyaa! Wrath-kun wa kawaii desu!

Greed: You are my favorite Homunculus... you're just... :insert dreamy sigh here:

Lust: You are awesome. If I had to be a homunculus, I'd want to be you. You just rock.

Hughes: I have a 5-year old brother who's adorable but frustrating. Any idea as to how to deal with him? Oh, and Elysia is adorable! You must be so proud of her!

To the guys: I still think most of you should pair up. Ed/Roy, Al/Scar, Fuery/Havoc... Will none of you even consider it? Onegai?

Alykat2007

Al: Hey! How'd I get thrown into all of this!?

Ed: I think someone once asked us to kiss or something…

Al: Right…That was awful…

Envy: Just shut up! That happened to you once! I get picked on all the time!

Ed: You? Please! I've been paired with everyone from Winry to Mustang and back again! You two have gotten the least of it!

Roy: If hotness is better than cuteness, then age shouldn't matter.

Ed: Stop trying to rally your miniskirt army!!! And she's right. I can do Alchemy at pretty much any time in pretty much any location, while you're useless in the rain, snow, and probably by rivers and lakes.

Roy: …Nevertheless, Flame will always be number one.

Ed: On what planet!?

Wrath: This is America! (A/N Mostly…I think…) Speak English!

Ed: Let her do what she wants! She just complimented you!

Wrath: Shut up, FullMetal.

Greed: Thanks, kid. I try.

Lust: It's easier and less expensive than plastic surgery, I guess.

Hughes: Isn't she the cutest little girl you've ever seen? I'll show you some pictures later, when we have more time. As for your question, just pay more attention to him. That's what kids need the most. Don't give all of your attention to him, though; when you're getting tired of it, distract him with the family cat or dog, or with some crayons. Just don't let him draw on the walls! (A/N Like Mustang after the Ishbal Rebellion…)

Ed: Woah, woah, woah. Hold up. First you're against me and Al and Envy, and then you go pairing me up with Mustang!? Al: ………How am I in love with Scar!?

Havoc: Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to get hooked up with a girl, NOT Sergeant Fuery!!

Roy: Yeah, me too. Not some midget kid.

Ed: I AM NOT A MIDGET!!!!!

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Ed: I know a great excuse for you to use if Al ever asks if he can have a cat, it's the same excuse my dad uses on me whenever I ask for a pet. It goes like this "You can have a pet when you have your own house".

Roy: Do you sew the alchemic pattern on your gloves yourself?

Greed: If you ever do get revenge on Kimblee, be sure to get rid of his hands. He can't do anything without his hands.

SplitPersonalities

Ed: Yeah, Alphonse!

Al: So then…you want to get rid of me, Brother? (sniff, sniff)

Ed: N-No, Al! I didn't mean it like that!

Al: So then, (sniff) can I get a cat?

Ed: …No.

Al: I was sure that it would work that time…

Roy: No. Sewing is a girl thing.

Ed: Then how come you can't do it?

Roy: …No comment on that. Of course, I know the circle by heart, but I had someone else sew it on for me after I'd painted it on.

Greed: Of course. He'd be really p1$$3d. I like to make my victims suffer before they die.

-Ed, I agree with you, Al shouldn't have a cat right now. I say this because I have a cat myself. Taking care of one is hard work even though it is rewarding. You have to feed and water it, you have to change it's litter box and you also can't leave it alone a lot or it'll be sad and think you've abandoned it. And I worry about my cat a lot because he's eight now. Even though he still acts like he's two or three sometimes, he is still eight and I worry he'll catch a disease or get feline leukemia. So, Ed, don't let Al get a cat until you all settle down.
-And Al, I hope you understand; I wouldn't want you to get sad if your cat got hurt or worse. Al, get with Nelly or Rose!
-Oh, I hate milk too! It's disgusting! I only drink chocolate if I feel like it. You can get calcium and vitamin D from other foods and drinks.
-Roy, stop stealing girlfriends from Havoc. And I would like to date Havoc, he's adorable!
-Havoc, smoking kills! Oh, I'm 21.
-Riza, keep up the great work.
-Dante, go jump off a cliff.
-Hohenheim, you and Trisha belong together!
-Hughes, you and Gracia were cute together!

That's all for now!

Harryswoman

Ed: Thank you. See, Al? Having a cat isn't all fun and games.

Al: (sigh) I know, I know…And I don't think I'm going to get together with either of them…I don't know Nelly that well, and Rose just isn't really my type.

Ed: And I agree. Milk is disgusting.

Roy: Please. I'd be a much better date than Havoc.

Havoc: Shh! There's finally a girl who I can legally go out with! Yeah, I get the smoking thing a lot…

Riza: Thanks. I will.

Dante: Sure. Right after I make a Philosopher's Stone out of you.

Hughes: (hugs Gracia)

Gracia:

That's all the questions I've got! I'm feeling better with my cold and such, but, as I'm going to the doctor's on Monday at 12 and will probably have nothing better to do than write fanfiction, if a lot of people get in questions before then, I might possibly be able to write responses to a lot of them. So yay. I may or may not update Friday. Whatever happens, have an awesome rest of the week, everyone!!!