A/N: Alrighty, Folks! I've gotten a few reviews on this story, but not very many. Regardless, I'd written this chapter, so here it is for ya, hot off my laptop!
Disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD.
Announcer: Thanks to those of you who stuck around after 'Glee'! Because now it's time for HTTYD News weekly!
[Camera zooms to Hiccup and Astrid, sitting at a News Anchor Desk]
Hiccup: Hello, I'm Hiccup Horrendous the Third!
Astrid: And I'm Astrid Hofferson. So, Hiccup, What's on the Agenda for today?
Hiccup: Well, we have a bunch of new segments we're introducing, Including Fishlegs' Segment on… Fanfiction Pairings, um… Toothless' 'Weekly Warble' It'll be nice to hear him talk, and Astrid with… 'What Pisses me off'.
Astrid: Sounds like we've got a great show lined up! Stick around Folks!
Hiccup: Yeah, First off, we have The new Segment on Pairings! Over to you Fishlegs!
[Camera Pans to the left]
Fishlegs: Thank you Hiccup! Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, Romance in most fandoms is not always strictly cannon, nor is this true for our very own the How To Train your Dragon fandom. So, I am here to bring to your attention the scandalous, Juicy—
Hiccup: Fishlegs!
Fishlegs: Sorry! Right well, Different Pairings. Here we go! The first pairing, and this is for all you Book readers at home, is one that takes us way back to the start of HTTYD, which, Bee Tee Dubs, originally did not involve the tinniest shred of romance. Which is why the Book people invented their own.
Our first pairing is, Drum roll please… Hiccazi!
Hiccup: What?
Astrid: WHAT?
[Camicazi walks in from off-stage and comes to sit in a chair in front of Fishlegs']
Fishlegs: Now, as the second part of this segment, we'll see what reactions the two Lovers—
Astrid: FISHLEGS!
Fishlegs: -React to the discovery of the pairing!
Camicazi: He's pretty Oz… For a Boy.
Fishlegs: Riiiiiight. And Hiccup?
Hiccup: [hiding under the desk] Hiccup has no comment at this time, leave a message after the beep!
Fishlegs: What do YOU think Audience? Should the Bog-Burglar and the Hooligan get together? Should—
Astrid: That's about enough of that segment! Don't you think Hiccup?
Hiccup: [Coming out from under the table] Yes ma'am!
Astrid: [Sulking] What's next?
Hiccup: Next we have Toothless' Weekly Warble! Over to you, Oh Mighty Night Fury!
[Camera Pans to Toothless, sitting behind a desk with his legs crossed, staring intently into the camera, he speaks with a thick English Accent]
Toothless: Hello Friends, Welcome to my segment of the show, 'The Weekly Warble'. Today I'll be discussing—
Hiccup: Whoa, whoa, hold on, wait a second, JUST A MOMENT!
Toothless: What is it, Human?
Hiccup: Why do you have an English Accent?
Toothless: Because Annabeth the Unicorn is a Whovian, and she feels like it. Now, back to the important stuff!
Hiccup: Wait, Toothless! What did you say? What do Unicorns have to do with anything?
Toothless: Not Unicorns! Annabeth the Unicorn! As in the Author!
Hiccup: What? I thought Cressida Cowell was the writer!
Toothless: Would Cressida Cowell write us doing a fake newscast and give me an English Accent?
Hiccup: What is with the accent?
Toothless: THE ALMIGHTY UNICORN GAVE ME THE POWER OF SPEECH, AND ALL SHE ASKED IN RETURN WAS THAT I TALKED LIKE THE DOCTOR! STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, THE DALEKS ARE COMEING!
Hiccup: The what?
Astrid: And that's about all the time we have for that! It's time for the next segment!
Toothless: But I haven't even started yet!
Astrid: Sorry, Toothless, Time's-a-wastin'!
Toothless: [Grumbles]
Hiccup: Up next we have Snotlout with the Weather!
[Camera Pan]
Snotlout: Hail, Snow, Hail, Sn—
Hiccup: No, seriously, this time!
Snotlout: FINE! We're looking at a bit of overcast until 2, which is when the rain will start. If you live by the docks, expect some flooding! And after the rain will come the Hail and the Snow! Hail, Snow, ha-ha-hail Snow!
Tuffnut: And the rain!
Snotlout: Word!
Hiccup: I'm so done with those idiots.
Astrid: [walking past him with an axe] just announce the next segment, I'll take care of them.
Hiccup: Up next we have the twins with—[screaming heard off-camera] – With new Sequel Info… Take it away, you guys!
Ruffnut: Hello, Berk! I'm Ruffnut Thorston!
Tuffnut: And I'm the much Better Looking Tuffnut Thorston.
Ruffnut: We're twins, idiot! Oh! But to all you Date-watchers out there, the Sequel is currently Scheduled for release on June 20, 2014!
Tuffnut: Anyway, although there is not much new info on the Sequel, This past November, Dreamworks released the all new DVD pack, complete with the animated shorts "Gift of the Night Fury"—
Ruffnut: A heartwarming holiday tale, or should I say tail.
Tuffnut: And "Book of Dragons"
Ruffnut: Which tells you everything you could ever possibly want to know about the Dragon book!
Tuffnut: Very true!
Ruffnut: Also released in November, Dreamworks launched the How To Train Your Dragon Online Dragon-Training game! Go check it out, y'all!
Tuffnut: Back to you, Hiccup!
[Camera Pan]
Hiccup: Thank you, Tuff! Our next section is Astrid with "What pisses me off"…
[Camera pans over to a cave full of skulls and an array of weapons, with a single chair in the center of it. The entire set is bathed in red light. Astrid looks up from the ground]
Astrid: When Swords aren't sharp enough to cut through the flesh of my enemies… That pisses me off.
[Camera pan back to Hiccup]
Hiccup: Thank you, Astrid! For blowing our entire budget on that set. The last part of our show, Is where I get to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with some of the very interesting people here in Berk. Our guest for tonight's interview is a refined member of our tribe, And my uncle, Spitelout!
[Spitelout enters and takes the seat opposite Hiccup]
Spitelout: Thank you, thank you, very nice to be here, very nice indeed!
Hiccup: So, Spite, I understand that you not only had a slight appearance in the Movie, but you also provided the narration AND different voices for the HTTYD audio recordings! What was it like seeing two completely different storylines and how they progressed?
Spitelout: I just like making voices.
Hiccup: …uh. Okay. [Flips notecards] Ah! Well, How does it feel to know that you've been a part of a legend that Vikings will pass down for ages?
Spitelout: [Clears throat] Good, It feels real good.
Hiccup: …Alright then. Um… [Looking through note-cards, tossing them aside] What… What's your favorite color?
Astrid: That's about enough of that! Thank you for that intellectual insight, Hiccup, But now I think its time to say goodnight to our viewers!
Hiccup: See you next time on HTTYD News Weekly!
A/N: Poor Hiccup is the Kermit the Frog of this story. Bye!