Chapter 5: Awkward Landing

The plane had barely been in the air for an hour before everyone in first class was already trying to kill each other. The flight attendants not only had to revive a drunken pilot once or twice, but they had to break up dust ball fights between Chris and Wesker and Nicholai and Carlos. The tyrants and Bob were playing card games, and Leon was having an argument with himself with his reflection in the glass window. And while Barry was trying to make a sandwich out of peanuts and Styrofoam, Rebecca was pretending to squish heads by looking at them between her fingers.

Wesker was restless. There was nothing to do. Ada sat beside him, nearest to the window reading a magazine. He was twitching a lot, but Ada didn't seem to notice as she read the fashion magazine. He really, really wanted to read that magazine. Wesker tried to think of something suave to say to trick her into giving him the magazine.

He pointed out of the window of the plane. "Look Ada! Prada!"

Her eyes bulged out as she dropped the magazine, slapping her face to the window. "WHERE?"

"Haha, sucker!" Wesker chuckled triumphantly. He started flipping through the magazine with a wide grin on his face.

"You jerk! That's mine!" Ada growled, trying to swipe the magazine.

Wesker moved his hands away from hers each time. "You mean 'was'. I'm the boss and I want the magazine! File your nails or something!"

She glared hard at him. "Fine, I am going to listen to my mp3 so I can ignore you!"

"Fine!" Wesker barked.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Ada grew quiet once her headphones were in. Wesker started flipping through the pages again, but soon something caught his attention through his peripheral vision. He looked out of the window, and his eyes widened as he saw a green and yellow dinosaur costume standing on the wing of the plane.

"Holy shit! It's Dinky the Dinosaur!"

Everyone looked at him as if he was crazy. Wesker slapped Ada and pointed. She looked out the window, but there was nothing there. Sighing, she turned back to him. "Is there a problem?" "It was Dinky! I swear!" Wesker barked, still pointing out the window.

"Dinky? Who the hell is that?"

"He's a guy in a dinosaur costume!"

"And…?"

"He's gonna eat me! Well, he can't because he is just a costume, but still, he is after me!"

"Why?"

"I have a gambling problem. He is one of the casino bosses! They say if you owe him a lot of money, he comes and kill you as Dinky the Dinosaur!"

Ada rolled her eyes. "Just impale him with your super duper hand thrust or something."

"Well…I could do that…"

"It's not like he exists anyways," Ada snorted. "You must have drank the plane's cranberry juice! You're hallucinating! No one can be on the wing of the plane while we are ten thousand feet in the air going 200 mph!"

Leon passed by their seats still arguing with himself to go into the bathroom. Wesker thought Ada's words over. She did have a point. No more cranberry juice for him. He just thought it would help his urinary tract infection. Not that anyone of you guys would want to know that.

Wesker saw that Claire was now sitting by herself since Leon was in the bathroom. He looked over to Chris, who was busy snoring and drooling on Jill's shoulder as she read a book. Smirking, the super villain got up out of his seat and slunk over to sit next to Claire.

Her eyes widened, and she glanced up from her cranberry juice that she was busy sucking through a straw. "Yes?" she mumbled.

"What's up?" Wesker asked.

"Are you planning on kidnapping me again?" Claire sighed.

"No! I just want to talk!"

"Okay. So my friend calls me up and starts telling me that her boyfriend cheated on her and I was like 'well girl, you gotta castrate him', and she was like 'but I want a baby from him, that would never work', and I was like 'girlfriend, there are plenty fish in the sea, most with decent sperm', and she was like 'sperm doesn't matter right now, I want someone who will stick around and who likes cereal', and I was like 'what the hell does cereal do with anything?' I swear you should have heard her voice, she was so mad about me talking bad about cereal! She was like 'Claire, cereal rocks but my dog needs to go to the bathroom right now so I will ttyl!' So then I was like 'alright, girl, you get over your cheating boyfriend who likes cereal and go take your dog for a walk'. Strange conversation wouldn't you agree?"

Wesker blinked. "…What?"

The door to the bathroom shot open, and Leon stood in the doorway with a grin and sighed out loud. "I am relieved!"

Leon walked over to Wesker and Claire, only to find Wesker in his seat. He glared down at the villain. Wesker jerked his thumb back at Ada, who had reclaimed her magazine and was still listening to her music. "Ada needs some company."

"ADA!" Leon bellowed, diving over the chairs to get to her.

"Anyways, where were we?" Wesker asked, turning back to her.

"You had an evil plan to jump off of this plane and fall to your death," Claire stated, taking a slurp of her cranberry juice.

"That's right, I need to…hey, that isn't very nice."

"And why do you have Sherry? Did you kidnap her too? What's wrong with you?" Claire growled.

"She's one of my minions!"

"And Steve? What did you do with him?"

"He's my maid!" Wesker laughed. "Oh, the poor sap gets all the nasty jobs at my lair of evil!"

Chris suddenly woke up from dreaming about Jill in a bikini. "My brotherly senses are tingling!"

"Actually it's this pepper. I was hoping this would wake you up," Jill answered, sitting the pepper to the side.

Chris sneezed. "Holy snickerdoodle! Wesker is talking my sister up like she is a fine wine!"

"Actually, I think she is handling herself just fi-"

"I will save you, dear sister!" Chris said in a heroic voice. He jumped onto his seat, stepping right on Jill's stomach to jump down and run across the aisle. "Wesker! Get away from my sister!"

"What?" Wesker groaned. "Will you go away? We are having a nice talk right now. Can't you go back and drool on Jill some more?"

Claire rolled her eyes as Chris huffed himself up like a gorilla. "I'm gonna say it again, Wesker! Step away from the sister!"

"The sister?" Wesker chuckled.

Chris pulled out a Louisville Slugger from his pocket. Yeah, that's right. His pocket. He slammed the thing down on top of Wesker's head. The bat broke right in half, splinters flying and the base falling to the floor. Chris blinked in shock, looking at the thing.

"What are you trying to insinuate exactly?" Wesker sighed, pulling a chip of wood from his hair.

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER DAMMIT!"

"Alright, alright. Don't be surprised if I decide to kidnap her at a later date for my evil purposes."

Wesker walked back down to his seat, grabbing Leon and throwing him a few seats down. He sat down, where Ada proceeded to turn and face him with a glare. "Did you have fun flirting?"

"Are you jealous?" Wesker grinned. "I know I have godly good looks and personality, but really Ada you can hold back a little."

"You need to pull your ego out of your ass," Ada growled, going back to her magazine.

"H-hey! Look! It's Dinky again!"

"Not buying it, Wesker," Ada replied.

"No look! He's stripping!"

"Are you sick in the head? Go bug Chris or something."

"Oh jeez! It's that freaking ninja girl! She's Dinky!"

"Ninja girl?"

"The one who had the obsession with my sunglasses!" Wesker cried, still pointing at the little window. "She's back for more!"

"Wesker, it isn't possible for her to be-"

One of the engine's blew in the plane, smoke immediately billowing out and the plane shuttering. Bob's cards went everywhere, and so did Hunk's illegal guns that he blackmailed the pilot for him to allow. Flight attendants started screaming, running into each other and trying to text their boyfriends.

"She just threw a damn frag grenade into the engine!" Wesker yelled.

"What a psycho! She's gonna kill us!" Ada shouted, dropping the magazine.

"Does anyone know how to fly a plane? The pilot is too drunk! And this is an emergency!" A flight attendant called.

"I can fly a plane!" Chris called, waving his arm. "Just give me some steroids first as payment!"

"Chris!" Jill hissed.

"Where the hell did you learn how to fly?" Carlos asked.

"The military duh! Oh and Donkey Kong!"

"Donkey Kong isn't even a flying game you idiot!" Barry shouted.

"Well…I guess we are going to die," Rocko muttered, letting his cards fall from his clawed hands. He started balling, and Nemesis patted him on the back.

"All of you guys are going to die, but not me!" Wesker snickered, pointing at them. "Ahh, it's great having super powers!"

They ran up into the tiny cockpit to help Chris out. Leon saw a large shiny red button and his eyes grew wide. His palms became sweaty and he became twitchy.

"Leon? What's wrong?" Claire asked.

"I gotta push that button!" Leon shouted, slapping it. "It's so big and round and red! Like a clown's nose!"

The self-destruct sequence has been activated. Please jump out of the plane and hope you survive the fall…

"Are you shitting me?" Jill yelled. "What doesn't have a freaking self-destruct system?"

"Mayday! We are sooooooo going down!" Chris yelled.

Pyramid Head spread his arms wide. "Group hug! We are all going to die miserably!"

"Hey! We are heading straight for an island! We can check 'Die by being eaten by sharks' off of the list!" Mr. X yelled, pointing out of the windshield.

"Curse you, Ninja Girl!" Wesker hollered, shaking his fist.

The plane crashed into the earth, sliding and sliding and taking out trees and wildlife on the way. Everyone was thrown into each other and things as it slid and jolted and finally came to a halt. Once it was at a standstill, a silence took over while everyone just laid there hurting and groaning.

The plane has now landed neatly with a comfortable stop. You may now exit the plane. Three minutes until detonation…

Wesker's group, Chris's group along with the few flight attendants, drunk pilot, and few other passengers bailed from the plane and barely got far enough before it exploded and went up in more flames.

"Well…at least we have our SOS," Jill sighed.

Wesker glared, turning to Chris. He didn't realize a strand of his hair was on fire and burning. "That was very poor quality flying! This is all your fault!"

"My fault? You are the one who is high and seeing dinosaurs and ninjas!"

"She threw a frag grenade into the engine! I saw it!" Wesker defended.

"Yeah," Chris snorted, "And I am that guy from that weird movie! You can't just push the blame on someone else!"

"Boys, boys! Settle down!" Ada called.

"Oh my God! Ada, Claire, and Rebecca are the only women here! We are going to have to repopulate the human population!" Leon cried.

"We're on an island, jackass. Nice try," Claire growled, folding her arms.

"Do you think help will come?" Rebecca asked.

"It better or we might just end up dinner to an uncivilized tribe with laser pistols and party masks!" Bob cried.

"Oh no! What if we can't find any food? Will we have to eat each other?" Rocko asked, gulping and picking at his claws nervously.

"I call dibs on Nemesis! He has a lot of dark meat!" Nicholai laughed.

"Mmm, tyrant and dumplings sound good to me!" Leon bellowed.

HUNK cocked one of his recovered weapons. He aimed the machine gun at Nemesis. "Can I kill him, boss?"

Wesker held up his hand. "Not right now. Maybe later."

"Let's just focused on getting what we can from the plane's leftovers and start working on shelters and food. We are going to have to work together," Jill explained.

"Some vacation this is turning out to be!" Wesker growled. "I'll be lucky if I ever get to the Bahamas now!"

"That makes two of us!" Chris retorted, jabbing a finger into Wesker's chest. "I ought to…to….beat you up or something."

Wesker grabbed Chris by the throat and hurled him way out into the ocean. He dusted his hands off afterwards, looking to everyone else. "Does anyone else want to beat me up?"

"Oh man! I'm so hungry! I haven't eaten for days!" Barry cried, trying to eat a leaf from a nearby plant.

"Barry, chill out! You just ate five minutes ago before the plane crashed!" Claire hollered.

"Hey, Wesker look! It's Itchy! How did he get here?" Ada shouted, pointed.

They all saw the zombie dog puppy running towards them with a rat tail sticking out of his mouth.

Wesker slapped his forehead. "That dang puppy must have snuck into my suitcase! And look! He caught a rat for us to eat!"

"Uhh, Uncle…I think that is Skittles' tail," Sherry muttered.

Sure enough when Wesker opened the puppy's mouth, he wailed out. "Oh no! Skittles! My naked cat is gone! You ate him you wild animal!"

Itchy whimpered, lowering his head and wagging his bony tail.

Wesker covered his eyes. "I'm not looking at your puppy pout! Scram!"

Itchy ran straight over to Leon and chomped down on his foot.

"Ouch! Let go!"

"Aww, he likes you!" Claire laughed.

Chris had finally made it back over to them from the beach, soaked to the bone and very angry looking. Wesker snickered at him while Chris was wringing out his clothes. Jill heaved another sigh, shaking her head.

"Alright, now can we please all focus? We need to get to work on getting a camp set up."

"Yeah! It will be like Gilligan's Island! This is gonna rock!" Nemesis shouted excitedly, throwing his arms into the air.

"Yes, let's get to work. And when I find that Ninja Girl! I'm…gonna…do something evil! I'm just so angry right now that I can't think of what! But it will be something evil!" Wesker growled, looking into the woods.

A/N: Who saw that coming? :) I didn't lol. It was a last minute descision to make them crash! Ultimolu you are so evil! Why did you do it? Oh, and sorry if this chapter seems so random. I was really tired when I wrote this lol. My favorite part was when Chris broke the Louisville Slugger over Wesker's head. XD Anyways, hope all of you enjoyed this chapter! Don't worry, they will get to the Bahamas eventually! Tee-hee! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews on this story so far! You guys rock! :)