Sorry it's taken SO long to update! I think my essay turned out okay-ish, though. I also passed the TaeKwonDo test! Unfortunately, I have several due dates for things coming up, but I'll try to keep this going as constant as I can. Also, your reviews aren't being e-mailed to me, for some reason, so that's REALLY annoying…is this happening to anyone else? It makes this a bit harder for me (

To everyone who uses Alchemy: what if there was no Alchemy? (of course, Ed already experienced that)

Sakura-Moonlight

Izumi: It has the potential of being something good. In my opinion, people rely on Alchemy too much, and use it when their own strengths without Alchemy would be sufficient enough to solve whatever problem they're trying to solve.

Winry: I'd like to think that there would be less wars and fighting, but I'm sure that someone would invent a weapon that could do a hundred more times damage than Kimbley's Alchemically equipped hands.

Al: I there was never any Alchemy, Brother and I wouldn't even exist, because dad probably wouldn't have been able to make the Philosopher's Stone.

Ed: Now there's a thought…

Roy: One word: matches.

Roy: Stop denying it. I'm getting tired of your persistence. Just go for counseling, there's NOTHING wrong with being gay. It may not be the best thing, but it is not your fault if your sexuality is different from other guys'. I recommend my daddy, 'cause he's a great counselor and since I recommended you, you could get it free. By the way, my friend showed me these cool sex/pick up lines. Like, "You have pretty eyeballs, but you know what would be better? If you eye my pretty balls." or "Did you grow up on a farm? 'Cause you sure are good at raising cocks." I have more if you want to know.
Ed: No excuses. You should have educated your brother. And you are neither underage nor short just so you know... wait, you haven't denied liking Roy in a while. Does that mean you changed your mind?
Al: Sex is when two people who love each other participate in physical contact, which leads to a greater bond between them. Therefore, if you love your brother, you'll have sex with him and if he rejects you, then he doesn't care for you. Ask him.
Envy: WRONG! You have to answer the question. So, what do you think of Pride-Ed?
Hughes: Haha, yeah right! Jonathan is so much smarter than Elysia and cuter too. But they're both better than Wrath. Wrath is a sucker.
Hohenheim: YOU SUCK, ARSEHEAD! What you did was unforgivable.
I can't think of anything else right now, so BYEE!

Full Metal Rocker

Roy: Listen. I'm really not gay, I swear.

Ed: If you were gay, that'd be okay…

Roy: Shut up. But really, if I was, I wouldn't deny it. But if I ever do go gay, you'll be the first to know, I promise. About the pickup lines…I like to go on dates, not get slapped in the face.

Ed: No, really, I think I had a very good reason. And while I thank you (I think) for the second part of your "letter", I DO NOT LOVE MEN/ROY!

Roy: If you were queer, I'd still be here…

Ed: We really need to stop listening to that CD.

Roy: Yeah…

Al: Really? Brother, how come you never told me this?

Ed: BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE!

Winry: Actually, it kind of is.

Al: Does that mean you don't love me, Brother?

Ed: There are many different kinds of love in the world, Al. And the way we love each other would make it VERY inappropriate for us to have sex together.

Al: Um…But then why did she say-

Ed: Because fangirls love to torture us.

Al: Ah. Right.

Envy: Actually, I don't have to answer. SO LEAVE ME ALONE.

Hughes: What? How could you say that someone's cuter and smarter than my Elysia??? She's just soooooo adorable and smart and-

Ed: Yes, yes, we get it!

Hughes: …Now, Ed, don't be jealous! I'll show you pictures, too!

Ed: What have I done…?

Hohenheim: You have to understand, I left my family for their own safety. While they may have been hurt, it's better than having them dead.

HAHA! I'm back! -random freaky music- And I now wish to talk to the most underrated, underpaid, coolest characters in the military.

Fuery: Did you know that you rock? Also, congrats for taking Black Hayate off the street in the cold. That was really nice

Breda: Have you ever heard of Naruto? IF so, do you think you could beat Shikamaru at Go? If not, ignore this question. Also, you rock at practical jokes.

Falman: ... You know, for someone so uptight, you're pretty cool.

Havoc: Seriously, Mustang needs to stop stealing your girlfriends. You're way cooler than him, and anyway, you're so loyal to him it's not fair.

Black Hayate: You're so cute. Here, have a dog treat. It's bacon flavored. -hands dog treat- Please ask Riza-san to tell me what breed you are.

That's all for now... But I will be back!
aliveinchrist13

Fuery: Thanks so much ) I just felt so bad for the poor thing, even though I couldn't keep him.

Breda: I don't know who this "Shikamaru" guy is, but I'm sure I could beat him! Heh, and thanks.

Falman: That was a compliment, right? Thanks.

Havoc: You're telling me!!

Black Hayate: Arf, arf! 3

Riza: I'm not sure of his breed, since he was found on the street, but it looks to me like he's a mix of something.

Hey!!

Ed & Al:
1. Of course I'll take all the cats you find! I only have one right now; I found all the others good homes. You can play with my cat any time you want to Al (her name is Chloe).

Roy:
1. I was just joking! I don't really think that you have a psychological problem.

Winry:
1. What's your favorite part about making automail?

Armstrong:
1. YOU TOTALLY ROCK!

Izumi:
1. You are such a nice person! It was great of you to take care of Ed and Al!

Hughes:
1. Elysia is so cute!! Can I see some pictures??

One last question:
I have a really close guy friend at school who I have known for the past two years. I'm not sure if he likes me or not, but he always seems more relaxed when I'm around. He was also very upset when I told him I wanted to transfer to a higher-level school when I became a junior. So many people have told us that we would make the perfect couple, but he always blushes and says that he knows but wants to keep our friendship. How can I tell if he really likes me or not??

Thanks!
EdElricFan1001

Ed: Well, that solves that problem.

Al: Great! I love this solution!

Roy: That's a relief.

Winry: Hmm…I like everything about it! I don't like the part where the automail is attached to the person, though, because that really hurts, but I love everything about making it!

Armstrong: THANK YOU!

Izumi: Thanks. Even though they could be pretty stupid sometimes… (glare)

Ed & Al: Uhh…

Izumi: But I still love them

Hughes: Of course you can!! Do you want me to e-mail them to you, too? I've even typed up commentary under each picture!

Winry: I wouldn't really worry about it until you like him, too, but since I'm assuming you do, here's my advice to you. If he's acting the way you said, then he probably does like you (this is especially supported by his reaction to what those other people say). He may not have made a move (IF he does like you) for a couple of reasons. He could think that you don't like him back, for one thing, and doesn't want to ruin the friendship that you already have. Or it could be that, since you're going to transfer, he doesn't want to get involved in anything since it'll only turn into something long-distance, and we all know how those kinds of relationships end up.

Ed: Was that a reference to me?

Winry: Maybe. Now be quiet. As I was saying, when you transfer, you won't be able to see each other anymore. But you should still find out if he likes you, but ONLY if you like him. If you don't like him, just let it be, but if you do and he seems to like you but is having trouble admitting it, you can use that to get him to say it (IF he does). I wouldn't push him too far, though; if it seems like he REALLY doesn't like you like that, don't tell him that you like him, because that may make your current relationship a bit awkward. Then again, it may not, so the choice is really up to you there.

I'm back and I have questions, and one is for Fletcher- I'm currently obsessed with you, even more then Al and Wrath; you're so cute in the manga (just read novel version of it). Now for the question, RUSSELL HIT YOU BEFORE! HOW DARE HE! Don't try to deny it; it said so in the book! WHY DID HE HIT YOU!?!?!?!?!

Russell- HOW DARE YOU HIT FLETCHER! Just when I was starting to think you were cool, too. Although you were pretty cool in the novel.

Wrath- well I just like submitting 3 or more questions so hi. (hands you a camera) Now go get some blackmail

Moofy-Fan

Fletcher: Um, well, thank you. Um, listen, I really love my brother, so don't get mad at him. He was just…frustrated, that's all; he doesn't beat me or anything, so don't worry.

Russell: You're kind of contradicting yourself.

Wrath: (evil smile) Heh, heh, heh…

takes Winry-esque pose but with writing implements between my fingers instead of tools
I was thinking…

Edward,
You are by far my favorite character. Now that is out of my system XD...
How do you feel about all the random pairings people think up for you? Personally I wonder how people get the ideas sometimes...
Alphonse,
Has Ed ever done anything to make you really mad at him?

-WHO'S GETTING TIRED OF THE CAT QUESTION?
-Armstrong, where do you get your sparkles?
-Hi Scar! wave wave I think you're pretty cool, even though you do try to kill Ed ¬¬ many times...
Yes Havoc, you're awesome. I felt so bad for you in book 10!
Last question: Edward, how the heck did you get out of the water after you captured Psiren?

Tchuss!
SilverEcho

Ed: Thanks a lot :) I really hate some of the pairings that people think up for me (you know who you are), but some of them I'm okay with. And then there are some that make me want to shoot myself in the face. Yeah, you're not the only one…

Al: When we were little that would sometimes happen. And we've had one or two really bad arguments that got me mad at him. Afterwards, I'd always go to a river and sit there until he came and found me, so I've never stayed angry for long

Ed: ME!

Armstrong: THEY…I don't really know…

Scar: Thanks…

Havoc: ( Thank you.

Ed: Um…I'm pretty sure that I swam…

Hey I'm back and I just want to say some of you guys were really mean, I'm just speaking the truth, well my truth. And I'm dead serious Armstrong, change to stars. Or at least make the diamonds blue. Also, Roy, you're self-centered; you say you're hot but saying it yourself doesn't mean a thing, other people need to talk for you. Envy, I guess you're right but, I'm still gonna call you gay, no offenses or anything. Ed, you're better then Roy, way, way better. Everyone else thanks for your reply but Barry, you would be scarier.

Love Is Hard

Ed: If you mean that Kimbley, Archer, and those guys were mean, well, that's just their nature.

Armstrong: Why would I when I'm perfectly happy with how they are now?

Roy: …Other people have called me hot.

Envy: I'd really prefer that you didn't.

Ed: Thank you (sticks tongue out at Roy)

Barry: No way!!

Grr.. -somehow tongue and finger grow back- HA HA!

Sloth: I didn't say that... -shifty eyes- Anyway... just don't drown her...

Ed: A wall? That's the best you can do? Well you could kill me... like Lust and Scar are probably going to do... but... -takes out stick of dynamite, lights it, puts it next to the wall, it explodes, and the wall falls on Ed- Oops... sorry Ed!

Lust & Scar: -laughs- First I annoy Scar... then I annoy you, Lust! Wow... aren't you two a match! You both get annoyed by me! Wait... -stops laughing- You both are going to kill me now, aren't you? Umm... I'll just be going now... -slowly starts to walk away-

Winry: Well she's too busy drooling over guys... yep... she's boy crazy...

Wrath: -pats him on the head- I'm glad you like the sugar! -winds up a toy mouse, places it on the floor- get the mouse Wrath!

Barry the Chopper: Umm... Barry... you have worn a dress before though... remember... disguised as innocent meat delivery lady?

Shoushin

Sloth: Riiight…

Ed: DAMNIT! I don't want to kill you! So just leave me alone already!

Lust: That doesn't mean that we're a match; it probably just means that you're an annoying person.

Scar: If you tongue and finger grow back…then that means you have the Philosopher's Stone?

Ed: GET HER!!!

Winry: Ah, okay, I see. I understand

Wrath: Ooooooooh……….

Barry The Chopper: But…I was disguised as a woman…so that doesn't really count :P

Yo DUDES I'm back with more questions. I'll start with Ed. You're right; just because I can pick on you doesn't mean I should, but I like to; I can't help it! Now Armstrong. Dude say hi to your sister for me man and is Havoc ok or did the training kill him?
Now for Trisha. It takes a lot to get me sad and your death made me sad cause how you held your kids hands as you died here have a rose. (hands Trisha a rose) Now for Havoc. Dude are you still alive? When I said that I was only joking I didn't think he would do it. Now for the Flame Alchemist Roy. How many time has Riza put you in line for flirting? (Hands a rose to both Winry and Riza) Well with that I'm done for now. Later DUDES.

Devine Spark Alchemist

Ed: …

Armstrong: OF COURSE!! Havoc's okay, but my training seems to be a bit much for him…I wonder if I should tone it down a little…

Trisha: I think that's how a lot of people feel. Thank you so much.

Havoc: Yes…barely…That training is intense!

Roy: Oh, not too much…okay, a lot.

Winry: Thanks! That's so sweet of you!

Riza: Thank you very much.

Ed
-what is your favorite animal: cat, dog, or fox?
-in the manga, you wear more clothes than in the anime series. Why is that?

Al (with his body)
-do you think you'll ever get used to Germany?
-would you let Ed have a drink or two?

Winry
-how would you act if Ed moved on in Germany with Noa or your double there?

Scar
-do you Ishbalans believe in reincarnation?

Hohenheim
-if you had stayed and could have saved Trisha with a Philosopher's Stone if you had one, would you save her?

Dante
-why go after Hohenheim or his sons if you knew that they wouldn't help you? Why not go after someone else?

Roy
-if you had to choose between Alchemy and Riza, what would be your choice?

Riza
-did you ever have to shoot Roy?

one more...

Envy
-are you overprotective of Dante since she was once your mother, or would you let anyone get close to her if they wish?

Harryswoman

Ed: A fox bit me as a kid. Definitely not a fox. I like cats and dogs, though…but I think I like dogs better. The manga takes place over a longer series of time, and sometimes I needed to change clothes because it was required to do so, or something.

Al: Maybe. Ed can make decisions for himself. If he wants to drink-

Ed: -Which I don't-

Al: -I won't stop him.

Winry: I wouldn't know, but if I somehow did I'd be upset knowing that another girl has taken my place.

Scar: No.

Hohenheim: That's a very difficult question. No, I don't think that I would, because she'd just end up like me. Anyway, I doubt that she would have gotten that sick if I had stayed.

Dante: Because I'm very stubborn. If I want something, I make sure that I get it.

Roy: People can get along without Alchemy, but Riza is a person who is very close to me. I'd choose Riza.

Riza: No, never. Though I've wanted to at times…

Envy: I don't really care. She can do whatever she wants.

Dear Scar,

... DAMNIT! I can't contain myself any longer! Quickly prays for my pitiful soul to be accepted in heaven RAAH! (Tackles Scar) RUFFLERUFFLERUFFLE I've finally got it out of my system! Now I'm going to die! (Holds still awaiting my impending doom) (Sorry Scar).

Sincerely,
Teh Okamiluva

Scar: …(glares)

Ed: …You know, worse things have happened…

Scar: (without removing eyes from Teh Okamiluva, reaches out and blows Ed's automail arm off)

Ed: HEY!!

Winry: Ed! What have you done to your automail!?

Ed: It wasn't me!!

Scar: (continues to glare, then turns and walk away)

Winry: …Did anyone else see that coming?

Sorry, but that's all I can do for now! It would kinda help me out, just a little, if you guys signed your penname or whatever at the end of your letters. It'll just make things a little bit faster. If you can. Um, I have an awful retreat that I don't even want to go to from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon, so I'll try to write more there. I wish I could get out of it so I could type it up but…ARGH! I just wish that Scar would blow me up or something so I wouldn't have to go!!!! Anyway, updating should be back to semi-normal next week.

This column is brought to you by: Avenue Q, "If You Were Gay", and the freezing cold that has taken over my house (and my extreme hunger).