I'm lucky I can update today; it was a halfday! I wrote these in school today. My friends keep teasing me about this, but I tell them that the advice I give actually works. They don't believe me. –Sigh-….Well, there are cops and ambulances driving by my house, so in case they're after me, I should probably get started, huh?
Hmm...
Roy didn't dance...
Riza: Make him dance, please?
Make sure
it's a monkey dance.
Winry: Oh don't worry, Winry. If it's for you, I think he'll be willing to marry. (wink)
Edward: Well, I meant you and Winry could marry when you two decide to, instead of waiting for a certain age. Wait a minute, younger girls ask out Havoc? Are you sure he doesn't ask out the younger girls? I mean, I would understand if younger girls ask YOU, but not Havoc.
Al: oO In my mind, you have your body back! That is also the case in my fanfics. I just need a girl so I can pair you up with someone so you don't get lonely when Ed and Winry... you know. xD
Riza: Yeah, I pretty much guessed you aren't the seducing type. Anyway, what IF you ran out of ammo? I mean, you can't always be sure, right? It's always best to have a backup plan. Unlike Roy... I mean, what does HE do when it's raining? He relies on YOU.
Armstrong: Aww, I'm wrong. If the sparkles aren't moon dust, are they fairy dust? Or just flakes that fall off your head? oO
Havoc: Hmm... If I knew more about your character, I would make a story where you finally keep a girl. The girl would be like Riza and not fall for Roy's womanizing. It won't be Riza of course.
DANCE MONKEY
Blaze
Riza: I'm sorry, but I don't think so. I could never imagine him doing something like that. I guess that my "backup plan" would be him, but I always carry a lot of extra ammo, just in case, so that doesn't ever happen.
Winry: Oh, I don't know about that…
Ed: Girls who are generally underage often ask out Havoc on this advice column. Not like eight-year-old girls, but teenagers. Don't worry, he's not a pedophile, and I get all kinds of girls asking me out, anyway.
Al: N-No, I won't get lonely…
Armstrong: …Neither. They're just there.
Havoc: You don't need to know my character! Just write me a girl that's cute, smart, funny girl with a good personality that isn't likely to cheat on me!
Breda: Good luck on that one…
Hallo, FMA peoples! Since Envy killed me I'm sure you're all wondering, 'WTH, if she's dead, then how is she sending us a letter?' I dunno, you figure it out.
Ed: I guess that could be true, but I still don't understand. And actually, the whole shorty thing isn't really an insult, think of it more as... a term of endearment. I'm friends with a lot of short people, and I always call them short and they get mock-mad at me, but really, it's just the way I am, not an insult. At least I'm not and EdxEnvy shipper... And hey, now we have something in common! Envy killed both of us!
Al: You is awesome! Okay, now that that's over with, what's your opinion on dissection? Random, I know, but I had to dissect a shark for the second time today and I have to dissect a rabbit later in the year. ((sob,sob)) Wait, since Envy killed me I don't hafta go to school... But if Dante brings me back as a homunculus and my mom finds out...
Dante: You'd better not bring me back as a homunculus! I don't wanna dissect a rabbit! Poor Momiji! And besides, I wouldn't obey you anyways, not unless you had pocky/anime/video games/Fresca/riceballs...
Mr. Pirate (A.K.A.: Roy): Is that so? Well... I guess I can't argue with that. And besides, not all pirates are criminals who go around looting ships. Ever heard of (CAPTAIN) Jack Sparrow?
Winry: Yeah, scary as it is to say, he probably will outlive us all. Notice how he dances in the jaws of death and barely escapes so often? Wait... he hasn't told you about all those times, has he?
Riza: I just misspelled your name four times, but that's beside the point. How do you usually react to Roy's playboy-flirtiness? Do you just ignore it, same as the miniskirt remarks?
Hughes: Sure I do, I just wanted to see pictures of her first birthday because that was a huge stepping stone in her road of life! I'll be waiting for that email! Yay, commentary!
Wrath: Pocky IS good! I get hyper just holding the empty boxes! ((stares forlornly at them))
Envy: Why do you hate me?!?! ((tear)) Oh well, if you honestly think killing me is going to keep me from annoying the fire out of you and demanding my blanket, you've got another thing coming! And if/when Dante turns me into a homunculus (I don't really think my telling her not to is going to dissuade her much... BUT I'LL NEVER GIVE UP!) I'll prance around you singing the 'Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy!' song for all eternity and demand a blanket every hour on the hour for all eternity! And if she doesn't bring me back (God willing... I like it up here! There's gold and pearly gates!) I'll find a way to haunt your sorry arse for all eternity! Wow, I've spent a long time talking to you. You should feel proud of yourself; that is if that Pinto bean you call a brain isn't dribbling out your ears. Oh! Almost forgot! Crochet me a blanket, KNAVE!
Neassa-chan
Ed: HOW IS CALLING SOMEONE SHORT A TERM OF ENDEARMENT!?!
Al: Calm down, Brother…I'm sure she didn't mean…
Ed: She sure as hell did!
Al: Okay well anyway. Thank you! Um, personally, I don't like dissecting…it's really sad and cruel. You don't have to dissect kittens, do you!? If you don't like, I'm sure you could talk to your teacher and maybe he/she could give you an alternative assessment or something.
Dante: Ugh, you're so annoying, I don't want to anymore! So go, do whatever the hell you want.
Roy: I'm not a pirate and I've never heard of this Birdman. But I'm NOT a pirate.
Winry: No, he hasn't. Please enlighten me.
Ed: Heh…No, really, that's okay.
Winry: No, I think I'd like to learn how you keep managing to break my AUTOMAIL…
Riza: Yes, ignoring it is usually best.
Hughes: I just sent it to you! It's a pretty big file, though, so it may take a little while to download. Enjoy
Wrath: 3
Envy: Why WOULDN'T I hate you? I'm NOT MAKING YOU A FREAKIN BLANKET! You'd better stay up/down there. Oh, and LEAVE ME ALONE!
It's Her Weirdness again!
To Barry the Chopper:
1. It would be
kinda hard to chop up a ghost, but you can try.
2. While you're at
it, could you chop up my Geography teacher? She's evil.
To
Ed:
1. I'm going out with a Xingian guy! IN YOUR FACE! If you keep
rejecting girls like that, they'll all convert to Ling (Or Roy)
fans!
2. It's a shame all that hottness was wasted on you. Now go
make out with Roy.
To Winry:
Sorry. That was meant to
insult the guys and compliment you. What I meant by that is that
you're a lot tougher than most guys and I like that. It's really
cool.
To Envy:
The other person was talking about imagining
you on a rocking chair in a dress crocheting a blanket. That gives me
an idea! Can I call you Granny?
To Roy Mustang:
1. Can I
call you Pony-boy?
2. If not, call I call you Roy Ford?
3. If
not, can I call you Roy Fluffy-pink-unicorn?
4. Yes, I'm just
making fun of you.
To Wrath:
I've got ten pounds of sugar
packed into one of those gigantic chocolate bars. You want it? (Hands
one over)
To Gluttony:
I've got one for you too! (Hands the
second one over)
To everyone else:
Run for your lives.
We're about to have TWO sugar high Homunculi.
HisokaYukiko
Barry The Chopper: That's what makes it all the more fun! Heh heh heh…Of course I'll chop her up!!
Ed: Fine with me. And I'm not gay so just give up.
Winry: Oh, okay then. Thank you
Envy: NO.
Roy: No, no, no and yeah, I know.
Wrath: (running around) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!
Gluttony: More?
Ed: GODDAMNIT WOULD YOU GUYS STOP FEEDING THEM THIS SUGARY CRAP ALREADY!!!
Hi
again
Envy- would you consider yourself to be a ninja?
Al -
what's your favorite type of kitten?
Envy: …No…What the hell did that come from?
Al: Um…I like all kinds of kittens But I guess that if I had to choose, I'd have to say tabby.
Hi, again! YAY you are all my friends! I was sad when I got home but after reading that I am happy.
Ed: I didn't mean it like that, girls do like it when guys are mature, I'm just saying that your funnier when your all sarcastic and stuff. Oh and I didn't say EdxHei, I said that she paired herself up with you, silly!
Wrath: Poor Wrath, you seem sick. Come here. sits and puts Wrath on her lap and rubs his head
Envy: I drew you yesterday! I have to say that its one of my best, it took me almost an hour to do and my friends almost gave it to the teacher to display:)
Thanks for the advice!
Sincerely,
CrimsonTears2
Ed: Um, I guess so. I guess it's better if it's a girl being paired up with me (sorry for the mistake) but…what exactly is she going to do to me?
Wrath: OoSoOoUoOoGoOoAoOoRoO…
Envy: Okay…That's great…As long as it wasn't of me as a girl or something…
Ok, question for Russell- Sorry for hating on you so much, your cool now (has had many mood swings since last chapter) and I don't want you to die, or anything ether. As for the question, since you most likely never saw Ed again after the series, do you think he's dead?
Envy- Their is this guy at school, he's pretty crazy but in a good way, and he's making us call him Envy cause, we all have names like that, mine is Weevil, but well, he's destroying your name and your reputation, just thought I'd let ya know.
Everyone- According to my friend (the one who calls Al the Iron giant) Ed is 'the alien' Roy is 'the lunatic' Winry is 'the drug dealer' Scar is 'left overs' Envy 'thinks he's magic' Fletcher 'needs to assert himself' Wrath is 'a male stripper' (cries) and Breda 'worked at McDonalds', so my question is what are your reactions to those names, by the way, she has more, one for almost everyone, but that's all I can remember for now.
Moofyfan
Russell: Well, that's good, because I wasn't exactly planning to die. I don't really know what ever happened to Ed, but I don't think that he's dead. It is kinda weird that he disappeared, though.
Envy: Kill him. If not, I'll be there by noon tomorrow.
Ed: What!?
Al: Actually, I can see that one…
Ed: Stay out of this, Al!
Roy: What the hell? I'm pretty calm most of the time…
Winry: I don't even want to know…
Scar: …
Envy: No I don't!
Fletcher: You think so?
Wrath: No way!!!
Breda: No, I never did…Ever.
Hi... for once I'm not hyper... I'm very tired...
Sloth: Damn... you lucked out Sloth... my sister got sick... so she's going to the doctor instead...
Ed: Fine... I'll be nice for once... and leave you alone... -sulks in a corner-
Lust: I'm actually not an annoying person... I'm only annoying when I'm hyper... which isn't often... except when I drink coffee...
-sips coffee, is a little bit hyper, but not much-
Winry: Oh... wait she might be here in...3...2...1 -suddenly Winry gets hugged by my friend, Lana-
Wrath: -puts a few more toy mice on the floor- Have fun, Wrathy-kun!
Barry the Chopper: It does count, Bunnykins! You were still in a dress!
Scar: No... I don't have it... -shifty eyes, suddenly runs away-
Shoushin
Sloth: Hooray.
Ed: Thanks )
Lust: You must drink coffee a lot then.
Winry: Hi! (hugs Lana back)
Wrath: This is fun!
Barry The Chopper: I don't think so. AND DON'T CALL ME THAT OR I'LL CHOP YOU UP!!! Actually, I'll just chop you up anyway xD
Scar: …
Roy:
Kiss Ed NOW or I'll castrate you.
Ed: Heatedly and passionately
kiss Roy back.
Al: Your brother is LYING. Kill Winry for me, she's
a bitch.
Hughes: Jonathan is cute and smart and HOTT, EVERYTHING
Elysia's not. He rawks to no end, he surely is an angel godsend.
Yay!! It rhymes!
Envy: You just don't wanna admit that Pride-Edo
is sexy and HOTT and you so want him.
Hohenheim: Who was talking
about THAT? You shoulda ditched that freak Dante. I'm angry at you
'cause you're a WUSS! You ditched Trisha but you didn't ditch Dante?
What kind of whack-job are you?
I got two problems. Anyone answer
them, kay?
Problem 1: There's this boy at my church, he calls me
all kinds of bad words and makes fun of me and he made me cry, like,
at least twice but I really like him. I hate him and I like him, what
should I do?
Problem 2: So far I have had coffee twice and both
times I got really hyper and I went nuts. Now my friends have
outlawed me from coffee but I wanna get hyper, I wanna drink MORE
coffee. What should I do?
I know this was short and you're
probably disappointed but I'll make the next one longer, I promise
and I'm being nicer-ish now... I think.
Full Metal Rocker
Roy: I'd like to see you try! No.
Ed: In your dreams!
Al: (scared) What? No…No! Winry's nice!
Hughes: How can a kid at that age be hot? Are you a pedophile or something? Elysia, stay away!!!
Envy: No he's not!
Hohenheim: Oh, that. Well, I did "ditch" Dante; I left her, in case you haven't noticed. And it wasn't like I left Trisha because I wanted to.
Ed: So you pretty much like "bad boys", right? Because, in the eyes of others, he's "cool"? That's just what it seems like to me. If he's treating you like he is, chances are he doesn't like you, so tell him to stop, ignore him, and move on.
Al: There are some other things that can get you hyper.
Ed: Like energy drinks.
Al: All kinds of candy, and soda…
Ed: And energy drinks.
Al: Try those, but just don't annoy your friends.
So I'm a little behind now. Whoops 0) The alert system is finally working, so I'll be getting e-mails again! Yay! Well, anyway, that's it for today; maybe I'll have another on Monday, but I'm not sure because I have to go to prison from tonight till Sunday afternoon. Just kidding, it's a CCD retreat, but it's really the same thing.
This column is brought to you by: Avenue Q, InuYasha theme songs, Red Bull energy drink, and me actually looking kind of cute for once in my life.