Major school-ness is pretty much over this year, minus final exams, but they're in June. So things should be chill from here on out! By the way, my history essay is awesome xD This chapter is dedicate to my friend Stephanie, who has no idea that I'm using her name in this….lmao. Also, I just wanted to alert you all to the fact that I am allergic to Envy. I swear I am. I'm not even kidding. I'll let the suspense eat at you and tell you at the end of the "letters"…… xD
Quick A/N Riza's question has a few more spoilers. FYI.
To the Amazing Author: Yeah, it really does make you want to kill him. And forgive me for being woefully ignorant, but what does "glomp" mean?
Ed: No, really? I never knew she was a girl. And I don't care if it was Hohenheim in there, here's what you should have done: Grab her face and stick you lips to hers. And I swear if you don't do that in the next five seconds, I'm coming in there to smash your lips together.
Roy: Jeez, ask her out already. And if you don't, here. 'Gives diamond engagement ring in a box to him'. Now repeat after going down on one knee after a long corny speech "Riza Hawkeye, will you marry me?"
Al: How did you and Ed become total opposites? I mean, if he's always been who you look up to, you'd think you'd try to copy him.
Winry: How and when did you get obsessed with automail? Also, if your parents had lived, do you think you would have followed in their footsteps as doctors?
Riza: Did your father have your consent when he tattooed the symbol on your back? And when did you meet Roy during your childhood?
Wrath (anime) wait no, I need that chocolate! GIVE IT BACK!
Later!
HinduGoddessBakaKonekoRKL: lol. Glomp is pretty much a HUGE hug. Like a bear hug, with a cooler name. Lol. No worries; I didn't know what it meant at first either '
Ed: Damnit! Quit mocking me! I'll do it when I feel like it- if I ever even do it at all! So quit bugging me about it!
Roy: …No, really, that's okay. I think I can wait. (kind of afraid of being shot)
Al: We're not total opposites! I just think that the way we express ourselves is a little…different. I mean, he can go totally psycho at the smallest things-
Ed: Did you just call me small????
Al: -Er…no, Brother…and well, I try to stay calm. But we both have pretty much the same interests, and we have similar personalities…kind of…
Winry: My grandmother's an automail mechanic, so I just followed in her footsteps. I think I still would have fallen in love with automail, even with my parents were still alive, because I'd want to help Ed and Al.
Riza: …No, he didn't.
Wrath: No way!
Hi everyone! Right now I'd torture you all in various ways but right now, I've got a serious question to ask anyone of you.
To Anyone: Bad luck has gone a muck with me lately, I've gotten (literally) burned by some idiot, keep getting slammed when I play sports, and just recently got in a car crash (I'm talking from the graveyard by the way in case you're wondering) and just have been losing energy all around. Is there anyway to turn this bad luck around...or am I cursed with this forever?
Also, Envy, when I showed my friends the character that dressed even weirder than you, one of them got the idea to switch your outfits...so congrats, you're now wearing an elegant butterfly suit from the character Papillion from Buso Renkin, and by the by, the pictures hanging up in their locker at the school so feel free to trash up the place looking for it.
From the great unknown and possibly death...
Vyser D...
Roy: You're just going to have to wait it out. You just had a really nice night with some young ladies at a dance, am I correct? Equivalent Exchange, my friend.
Ed: I think people sometimes call stuff like this 'Karma'. Not that I believe in it but…you didn't happen to hit on someone's girlfriend, did you?
Riza: Probably not. He isn't the Colonel, after all.
Roy: Hey!
Riza: (clears throat) You could just try being calm and careful for a little while. If you have a feeling that something bad might happen, try to avoid it.
Envy: Your whole school is going to burst into flames very soon.
:JAWS theme starts to play: Beware...
All: HA! Now that we have lured Roy away with numerous bikini- clad women, let us... PARTY:whole place turns into a disco club/ coffee shop:
Manga- Wrath: Never mind... ; :slips away:
Kimbley: Depends. What kind of stuff do you like (besides bombs)?
Ed: Teeheehee! I love it when you flip out. It reminds me of my friend. She flips out whenever I mention yaoi. X3
Scieszka: Well, I'll read just about anything... adventure, science fiction, romantic comedy, even the occasional philosophy. I'm an "early adolescent" (XP) but I can muster the will to read books like the Da Vinci Code.
Gluttony: I used to think you were evil, but you're actually really cute when you're not lunging at people in hunger. Here- :lugs gigantic chocolate cake into the room: - is a treat. And I'm ever so sorry about Lust. Don't eat me for this - : hugs Gluttony:
Hoenheim (manga): Wow. You seem like such a nice guy... I don't think of you as a monster. You're just a man with an unusual body and a dark past. :offers what little empathy she has:
BibliophielEd: Disco is dead.
Manga-Wrath: That's what I thought.
Kimbley: You can't go wrong with valuable things such as precious gems and Stones…
Ed: I'm so glad that this makes you happy.
Scieszka: Hmmm….Well, there's an author named Donna Jo Napoli who writes kind of twisted versions of fairy tales. There's a version of Rapunzel called "Zel" where Zel's love of life is corraled by her mother, who loves her daughter so much that she can't bear the thought of losing her to anyone or anything. And Mother is a Witch. There's a version of Rumplestilkson called "Spinners" where a young man makes a foolish boast so he can wed his sweetheart (with whom he has already been intimate) and steals a spinning wheel from an old woman so he can attempt to spin straw into gold. It works, but maims him, and the woman marries another. She dies in childbirth, hating the evil little man she thinks he's become, he wanders off alone, and their daughter is left to be raised by her stepfather (who thinks he's her father). The rest of the story is fairly similar to the original, with a twist here and there. There are also other versions of stories like Cinderella (which takes place in China, and the girl's mother is reincarnated as a carp-you can only imagine what happens) and "Beast", the twisted story of Beauty and the Beast. I think you'll like those, but let me know if you want any more recommendations! (she has written more books than those, too).
Gluttony: (too busy eating the cake to answer)
Hohenheim: Thank you, but you don't have to feel sorry for me.
Roy: Do you like torturing Ed and making him mad, cause it sure looks like it. And... I hate rain too.
Riza: How's Black Hayate? Behaving well, right? I like how you use your gun to control others (Roy), wish I could do that, without a gun course...
Sakura-MoonlightRoy: Of course! It's a lot of fun! (evil smirk)
Ed: Bastard…Riza: Of course he is ) You just need to be assertive, but don't push other people around too much.
A/N this controls a bit of a crossover since I'm beginning to obsess over Blood+, my second fave anime ONLY to FMA. Go watch it. And write fanfiction about it.
Roy: What were you gonna call me?
Riza: YAY! I know what else he deserves -evil smirk, takes out a bazooka and aims it at Roy-
Wrath: Oh well... you can have this instead... -gives him a can of Mountain Dew-
Envy: -takes out a different can of Mountain Dew, takes out a pen, pokes a hole in the top of the can, puts finger on the hole, shakes it, points it at him, removes finger from the hole, suddenly pop comes shooting out of the can, and now Envy is all sticky- YAY!! Sticky palm tree!
Barry: Bunny... Did you kill the store owner or did you just plain steal the stuff you wanted?
Ed: -glares at him- There is no way in hell... I'm giving this to you...
Lust: Hmm... -looks at the Stone- you are my favorite character... so... -thinks for a few seconds- okay... -gives the Stone to her- I would run away now... cuz shrimpy and the evil body taking lady -points to Ed and Dante- want it too and they will surely take it from you...
ShoushinRoy: I'm obviously not going to tell you.
Riza: Let's not be hasty now…
Wrath: Yum! Thanks!
Envy: - - -
Wrath: (drinking Mountain Dew) Sorry, but Envy refuses to respond. You might wanna keep an eye out for him, though…
Barry the Chopper: You gonna stop calling me that? And I'm not gonna tell you…Don't want those youthful minds of yours to get all corrupted now :-)
Ed: . Why nooot???
Lust: Gee, thanks.
Dante: Lust, as your Master, I command that you give it to me!
Ed: No! Don't listen to her!
Lust: (considers this)
--All of a sudden, a Chiropteran from Blood+ comes in, followed by Saya and Haji. Lust, Ed and Dante get mixed up in the battle, and in a few minutes, the Chiropteran is dead. Saya and Haji thank them for their help and leave—
Ed: Now! As I was saying-!Dante: Lust…Where's the Stone??
Lust: I believe…it got lost in that fight.
Ed: DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT!!!
Dante: (sighs) Guess I'll have to get someone to make another one…
To Ed and Roy:
I'm
going to get this over with before I whimp out again... I'M SORRY!
I'm sorry for going all RoyxEd fangirl all over you and trying to
annoy you and calling Ed short and Roy a unicorn! Please forgive me?
Please? (Puppy dog eyes)
To Winry and Rose:
My best buddy
(Who's a guy) wanted me to tell you that he thinks you're both cute
and you both have gorgeous hair and wonderfully unique personalities.
And he wants to give you these... (Pulls out two bouquets of flowers)
Roses for Rose and Blue bonnets for Winry (Blue bonnets because we
live in Texas and that's the state flower). He wants to say it
matches both of your personalities
He also wants to point out that he's not like all of those crazy Ed and Roy fangirls who're like, "WILL YOU MARRY ME, YOU'RE LIKE SO HOTT!" Blah blah blah... He'll keep his distance if you ask him to.
-HisokaYukiko
Ed & Roy: Sure, fine. We forgive you. Just don't let it happen again.
Rose: Oh, wow! They're so pretty!
Winry: Beautiful! Thanks so much!
Rose: Yeah, thanks! You sound like a really nice guy!
Winry: You do! Thank you!
Various guys (you can choose): (jealous glares)
More questions and comments from me!
Dante- I am dressing up as you for my friend's birthday, it's cosplay themed, so can I borrow one of your dresses?
Wrath- My friend is being you for her birthday.
Winry and Russell- Winry this is Russell, he pretended to be Ed but then changed and helped him, Russell this is Winry, she's Ed's automail mechanic, now you two know each other, yay...
Moofy-Fan
Dante: No.
Wrath: Cool :)
Winry: Hey!
Russell: Hi!
Both: …
Winry: So…uh…yeah…
Russell: Yeah…
Roxie is
back...
okay Envy I have a book here it is called how to crochet
so use it -gives Envy how to crochet- also why the hell out of the
millions of forms that you could use would you chose a form that very
much resembles a palm tree?
Ed and Al sorry if I scared you,
Perri asked me to say that
Dante I don't give a rat's ass about
going to hell because sometimes I think that I am already
there
Kimbley awesome! But before you blow up my school blow up a
boy called Jayden I want him dead I want him to suffer to the last
minute and I want to watch him die okay?
Okay I will be back
roxie-san
Envy: (after taking a shower) You can just burn that because I'm never going to use it. BECAUSE I WANTED TO, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?!?
Ed & Al: That's ok. We get that a lot.
Dante: Sad as that is, I DON'T CARE.
Kimbley: Sure thing. How much are you paying me again?
Wadever,
People.
Roy: Denial is such a sad, sad thing... pedo. But I'm
afraid I think that you and Riza DON'T go together.
Ed: Yup. You
would also look so cute in a dress.
Al: If you were able to turn
into an animal, what would it be? And I found something out about
myself. If I eat large amount of chocolate at a time, I get hyper but
not in the 'filled-to-the-brim-with-unused-energy' hyper but
'I-feel-like-screaming-and-smacking-somebody' hyper. What should I
do?
Winry: Miroku is 18 and Sango is 16. Kagome is 15 and InuYasha
is 200+. I used to obsess over InuYasha before FullMetal Alchemist.
Did you know I've got a FullMetal Alchemist shrine? Cool isn't
it?
Envy: YOU'RE BRINGING SEXY BACK! THEM OTHER HOMUNCULI DON'T
KNOW HOW TO ACT!
Hohenheim: Nerd. I can't believe you understood
that.
Lurve you all!
Havoc: She wouldn't happen to have curly brown hair and brown eyes, and always wears rose earrings…would she?
Roy: No, that's her. Why?
Havoc: Stepahnieeee!!! (crying)
Ed: - - -Al: Um…sorry, but Brother refuses to speak to you at the moment. ' Um…I dunno, really…maybe a kitten:3 As for the energy thing…why don't you try combinations? Like a bunch of chocolate and then some energy drinks maybe?
Winry: Oh. Well, they don't always look their age. I mean, Kagome really doesn't look like she's 15, especially when she's…er…in a hot spring. At least, she doesn't look like any 15-year old girls that I know. Things like that can be misleading.
Ed: What the hell are you talking about?
Winry: You try on any dresses lately?
Ed: Shut up.
Envy: Uhm…sure?
Hohenheim: …I though you were ignoring me.
Ed
-(in
sing-song voice) you just have to read it!
-who do YOU
think the mom is? (you'll still have to read it)
Al
-why
don't you just wait until you get your own place to get a cat? Then
you can take care of it better.
Envy
-call Ed a pipsqueak,
I love it when you do that.
Roy
-if you have
paperwork and Riza's not in the room, burn your papers to ashes and
say you never got them.
Sloth
-if Dante hadn't screwed your
mind over, would you have wanted to take care of Ed and Al?
Ed: No. I have better things to do with my time.
Al: (sighs) It looks like that's what I'm going to have to do…
Envy: Sure…Hey, pipsqueak!
Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT…THAT…HE………WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE'S HAVING A HARD TIME THINKING OF COMEBACKS BECAUSE HE'S CALLED 'SHORT' SO MUCH!?!?
Envy: …Nice one. Pipsqueak.
Roy: But I'd probably get fired after a while if I did that.
Sloth: Hmm…perhaps…Even though they abandoned me when I was born…
Dear Scar,
You little Sh# ! That cost me $600 dollars to repair! You owe me, and knowing you, you probably don't have any money on you! So I'm going to steal your clothes and sell them to rabid fangirls (Strips Scar COMPLETELY naked and runs down the street screaming, " ISHBALLAMA BITCHES!").
P.S. If you went to my school, people would probably make the "Your mama" jokes, but in your case, it would be " Your Ishbal-mama"( Another play on names, I own you bitch!).
Teh Okamiluva
Scar: This has been censored to preserve the T-Rating of this fic. But it us suggested that people with a 15-mile radius of him RUN
Ok I for one think Ed and Roy should go out. So why won't you two? It'd be totally awesome. Also I think you are so awesome Al. When you get your human form back can I go out with you?
DarkAngel4LifeEd: No.
Roy: You're not the first to say that. We're kind of used to it.
Ed: Unless you say we should have sex with each other.
Roy: Yeah. That never fails to piss us off.
Ed: What is it about gay guys that girls like???
Al: Um…sure, I guess
That's all for now! I hope you all liked this chapter; I worked late into the night on it! (it's 9:45 pm lol). Now, as to how I'm allergic to Envy…Well, my mom got a body wash called Envy (ha, get it now?) a while ago, and last break I noticed it and decided to use it, just cuz it was called Envy. And I got a rash all over me for like 3 days and I had to take a bunch of medicine that made me pass out xD So I guess Envy doesn't like me much lol. I have off on Tuesday so I'll prolly have all your questions answered that day! I've finally caught up again! ALSO if anyone lives in NYC, I'm going to the Bronx Zoo for most of the day on June 2nd. I'll post in my rant what I'll be wearing, in case anyone randomly feels like going to the zoo that day