Lunar Ascension

Chapter 9: Moving Forward

Disclaimer: All things in the Twilight universe belong to Stephenie Meyer and her publishers. The song and lyrics belong to the band and their representatives. Any other copyrighted material included in this story belongs to their rightful owners. Cheers ma dears! Rated M.

I love that you're never satisfied
with face value wisdom and happy lies
you take what they say and go back and cry
you're so close to me that you nearly died
Again by Flyleaf

It had been five long days since the day I'd broken up with Zach. I hadn't seen him at all since he'd left my apartment. I was miserable and guilt riddled. I had even called Emily every night since, looking for answers and advice. I'd spent a couple of hours each day with Travis since we'd decided to become friends and it was the only time I actually felt like myself.

He was funny, and sarcastic enough to give me a run for my money. He'd invited me to go hiking in mount Rainier park with him, and his two Irish wolfhounds Steve and Greg, the following weekend. I'd agreed because the thought of being home alone with nothing but my thoughts had no appeal to me whatsoever.

Going to college had been hard for me all week because it held so many memories. I hadn't seen Zach around, but it was easy to get lost when you didn't want to be found. He knew my schedule well enough to know where I would be. I was a creature of habit and he knew it.

I was sitting in the quad alone, I knew most people avoided it this time of year because it was so cold, but I threw on a heavy coat I didn't need and sat alone as I picked through the food I didn't feel like eating. I hadn't phased in days and my body was itching for the transformation, almost as much as it was itching to be close to Travis.

When I'd sat as long as I possibly could, I picked up the paper plate and dumped it in the trash before making my way to class. I made my way up the stairs to the second floor where the lecture hall was and almost fell right back down them again.

I should have known that he'd throw himself back into the pool, that he'd move on and get me out of his system by screwing anything with tits and an ass, but seeing it hurt more than I could possibly have imagined. He was leaned into a beautiful blonde with skin like porcelain, his lips were fused to hers as his hips bucked against her.

It shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, because this wasn't my Zach. The Zach I knew was respectful and adoring. The guy stood gyrating against the blonde was someone I didn't know, he was cold and moved mechanically because he knew what was expected of him.

I stumbled forward and tried to move past them without being noticed, but the moment I was close, he pulled back and glared at me. The guy I'd fallen in love with was long gone, and in his place was this empty shell looking for instant gratification as a form of payback.

I offered him a nod and moved on, but it wasn't enough for him. I understood his need to hurt me, after all I'd hurt him in a way I was very familiar with.

"Jennifer, have you met Leah?" he asked, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close.

"The cock block?" she purred in the same way she'd tried to seduce him before. "No, I haven't had the pleasure. I don't want it either."

I kept walking, trying to stop myself from reacting and name call back as it boiled in my blood. I was the one that caused this though. I was the one that had forced him into this vindictive nature. I couldn't lash out at them both when I'd created the situation to begin with.

I spent the rest of the day knee deep in studying, I shut off the rest of the world and threw myself into keeping myself occupied. I was even happy that Travis was sat outside my door when I arrived home, because it meant I would have a brief respite from the pain that had coiled it's way around my body and constricted until the ache became physical.

The moment he saw me, he hopped up from his spot on the ground and waved a bag of Chinese food around. It was almost enough to make me smile.

"You look like shit and you haven't been eating right, so I'm taking it upon myself to make sure you fill yourself to the point of explosion."

"You know don't you?" I said as I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I could tell by the slight over-exuberance in his greeting. It wasn't that it surprised me, he was Zach's brother after all.

Travis shifted and stepped past me and into the kitchen, dumping the bag on the counter as he reached for my plates. I didn't think he was avoiding the question so much as he was sparing my feelings. When he finally looked up at me where I was frozen against the now closed door, he sighed.

"It's what he does, Leah. It's what he's always done, he thinks that hurting you like that will make him feel better. Give him a couple of months and he'll figure it out."

"You know, the sad thing is it worked. I know it's irrational considering I was the one that let him go. But he looked soulless when he glared at me like that. I did that to him Travis."

"Shit happens, Leah. Crap like this happens all the time. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but it is what it is. You can't blame yourself for his actions. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. If it really bothers you that much I will say something to him. I don't want you to keep beating yourself up about this."

I shook my head and leaned back against the wall as Travis loaded plates with food. Man it would have been so easy to let him take care of this in my defense, but I believed it would create more problems than solving the one. I doubted Zach knew I was hanging out with his brother, and I could only imagine what he'd think of his assumptions when he did.

"No, just let it go. If he needs to do this to feel better then let him. I'll just stay out of his way. I deserve to feel like this anyway."

He handed me a plate with a fork and shook his head. I knew what he was thinking but he seemed to understand that I didn't need his reassurance right now. Instead, he pushed me toward the table and sat me down before disappearing to retrieve his own. When he sat down he dropped another eggroll onto my untouched plate with a smile.

"The longer you starve yourself, the more food I'll add."

I raised an eyebrow at him, and picked up the eggroll he'd given me, taking a huge bite, I chewed mechanically and exaggerated the swallow.

"Good right? It's the best Chinese take out in Seattle."

"It's not bad," I understated, taking another bite as my stomach growled at me. He shoveled the food into his mouth with a smile, and stopped only once to point at my plate with his fork and tell me to eat.

Once I started, I couldn't stop, my body devoured the food and craved more as I ate. I could feel my energy rising as well. I'd eaten so sporadically in the last week that I couldn't seem to stop myself from gorging on it until I couldn't fit another morsel into my mouth.

"Feel better?" he asked, picking up my plate as I rubbed my belly.

"I'm stuffed."

"Then I obtained my objective," he chuckled, heading into the kitchen. I watched him as he rinsed off the plates and stacked them in my rarely used dishwasher. "I guess I should head out. I just wanted to make sure you ate and check on you."

"You don't have to go, you can stay and watch a movie if you like? It's not like I'm sleeping a whole lot at the moment." I realized I was being a little clingy but being around him had eased some of the hopelessness that had been following me around all day. The moment he left I would be faced with my pain again. Truth be told, I also actually enjoyed his company.

"Sure, we can do that, and while I think about it, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Working," I groaned, rolling out of the dining room chair. "Why?"

"I was going to take you to the movies, get you out of the apartment for a while, but seeing as you're already going out, I guess it's a non issue."

"You could always come on a ride-a-long," I replied with a yawn. I tried to focus on choosing a movie but it was becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate with my stomach as full as it was.

"What's that?"

"You file some paper work and ride in the cruiser with me. It's pretty self-explanatory," I snorted, just grabbing a case, and popping it open. "It's nothing exciting so if you don't want to . . ."

"No, I'll go. Someone's got to keep you out of trouble," he teased, falling into the couch and putting his feet on the coffee table. "Maybe we can scope out some good hiking spots. You do have all the gear right?"

"No, but I won't need it."

"Leah . . ."

"Don't Leah me. Trust me, I have spent a lot of time out in the forests and mountains. I know what I'm doing."

I made my way over to the couch and fell into it next to him, almost rolling off when I reached for the remote. I hadn't been that full in a long time and my body felt completely foreign and bloated.

"We'll see, I'm coming prepared for you."

"Uh huh, you do that. I bet you were such a good boy scout."

"Eagle scout."

"Same thing with more pretension."

"Hey I worked hard for that honor," he cried, pinching my calf and making my legs spasm. "You were never a girl scout?"

I snorted and rolled my head on the back of the couch to look at him. "Did you forget where I grew up? I spent all my time in the forest or on the beach. We loved playing tricks on tourists, but no conventional groups for us."

"But you would have looked so cute in the little uniform. You could have sold thousands of cookies with that charm of yours."

I flicked him the bird and turned my attention back to the television that was now opening the title credits. I'd put in one of my favorite movies, and before I even got to the opening scene I blacked out completely.

I woke up with a start, the room was dark and the menu of the DVD was running though in repeat, playing for no one in particular. I was leaning against Travis' shoulder as he breathed deeply in his repose. For the first night in a long time I'd had no dreams. I'd been in a deep sleep snuggled into Travis' side which told me one thing, he was the reason. Sam had been trying to convince me to spend more time with Travis because he was convinced a lot of my distress was from being separated from him. He was probably right, but that didn't mean I was going to go against my better judgment.

When I tried to sit up, Travis' arm wrapped around me and pulled me tighter. He was still asleep, I could distinguish that from the steady thud of his heartbeat and the continuous and methodic breathing. I was afraid to look at his face though. He looked identical to Zach so I could only assume he would have the same innocence in his sleep. It was unfair of me to compare like that, especially when Travis was, for lack of a better term, my better half.

While trapped against his side, it was impossible not to think about what it would be like to let go. He was my imprint. I knew he cared about me more than I gave him credit for, but I was stuck in my own head in a battle of right and wrong. Travis was Zach's brother, there were movies and TV shows about things like that. Hell it was the very reason Jerry Springer had been as popular as he had. There were unwritten rules that stated very clearly how ethically wrong it was. Granted they hadn't factored in imprinting, but it was still taboo.

The most I could offer Travis was friendship, and no pushing from anyone would ever change that. I had to be the one that made the decision. I had to prove to myself that I had self-control and could do the right thing by them both.

As I lay in the dark, just listening, it was easy to discern the change in heartbeat as Travis woke up slowly. His breathing became shallow, his heartbeat was a little more erratic, and his body stretched into an arch before he realized where he was.

"Oh shit, sorry, Leah," he muttered, retracting his arm. "What time is it?"

I sat up and looked to the kitchen and the clock on the oven. "Three am."

"Shit, I gotta let Steve and Greg out," he groaned, stretching his arms over his head. "I would say good movie, but I couldn't hear it over your snoring."

"I don't snore."

"Oh honey, you really do. It's not the buzzsaw kind it's a feminine gurgle." he teased, dropping his hands to the side.

"Do you always wake up with raging sarcasm? Or is that for my benefit?"

He laughed and leaned toward me. Dropping a kiss on the top of my head, he stood up and stretched again.

"That's all for you. When should I fill out the paperwork? I don't have work tomorrow."

"Paper . . . Oh, you can ride in with me. It'll only take five minutes."

"I'll see you then. Lock the door after me," he said, patting me on the head and walking toward the door.

I did as he asked and locked the door behind him after he left. I stripped and climbed into bed, but the moment I closed my eyes, I was plagued with dreams. I was a hopeless spectator in them, watching everything unfold as both of the men with the same face exited from my life. Travis had first made an appearance on the previous Sunday night, and every night it was the same. Zach turned his back and walked away, and Travis, with his hopeful eyes wilted away to nothing. Nothing I did changed the outcome, and when I'd described them to Emily she told me it was a sign. I needed to make up my mind.

I moved through the following day like a zombie, my feet barely left the ground, my head was not in the game, and my eyes refused to stay open. I tried to eat, but every time I looked at the plate it taunted me. I'd been over tired before, but this surpassed double patrols, this was going onto full blown insomnia. It wasn't lack of sleep or sleeping at odd hours, this was no sleep, and unrestful naps.

On my way home I barely even noticed Zach and his bimbo of the day and practically walked into them. I didn't say a word to him, I just turned left then right and continued on my path. Ignoring the snicker of the girl he was with. I needed some serious sleep, and the only way to get that was to keep Travis a little closer, just for a couple of nights. It wasn't fair, but I came up with a plan I hoped would work.

I tried to become upbeat as I walked into the lobby of my building, I tried to pick up my feet and walk like a normal human, but it was all worthless. By the time I arrived at my door, Travis was already shaking his head with concern.

He tried to talk me out of work but finally relented when I locked him out of my bedroom and changed into my uniform anyway. We bickered the entire drive to the Rangers station. By the time he filled out his paperwork he seemed resigned about the whole thing.

"You're stubborn."

"I like to think of it as dedication."

"I like to think you're delusional. Have you slept at all?" he asked pointing the maglight I'd given him into the forest as we crawled along. "And am I looking for something in particular?"

"Yeah, trucks, men with guns. We're looking for poachers, and if we're lucky we won't see any. We may find some kids getting naked at a trailhead though."

"I like how you ignore the initial question," he laughed, turning his attention back to the trees. "So this is all you do at work?"

"It's not all I do. I write a report when something interesting happens. I have yet to pull my gun on anyone yet. Oh, and hey, I was thinking . . ." I started, very ungracefully leading into my great plan for sleep.

"Ouch you need a band aid for that?" he grinned back as me.

"This weekend," I continued, flicking him off. "You want to camp out at the park and make a weekend out of it? I know it's cold, but it could be fun, I can totally kick your ass on the trails that way."

"Kick my ass?" he asked incredulously. "With those skinny ass legs of yours? I 'd like to see you try."

"My legs are not skinny."

"Oh I beg to differ, I have seen you in a dress and your legs are most . . . Oh, wait, car," he said pointing off to a small gravel lot off the main highway. "What now?"

"We go check it out," I laughed, slowing down to pull into the lot. Travis clicked off the light and eyed the car suspiciously as I crept toward it. When I hit the spotlight he squinted through the brightness. "Stay in the car."

"Really? I don't get to see you in action?"

"No, you don't. Your safety is my priority. Check the little waiver you signed."

It was the best excuse I had for him to stay safe. With a suspicious car in the lot my body was already screaming alarms at me. My first instinct was to protect my imprint at all costs. The wolf in me was raring to go, and it took everything in me to hide the shivers that rolled down my spine.

"Promise me, Travis. Or this is the last ride along ever."

He held up his hands in surrender. He wasn't happy about it, I could see it in his blue eyes as the reflected light hit them. I wasn't playing around either and I hoped he could see that.

"Staying. In the car," he sighed.

I gave him one more look before I picked up my flashlight, pushed the door open, and stepped out onto the gravel. Unclipping my gun, I approached the car slowly. It was a generic looking sedan, and when I clicked on my flashlight and saw the steamy windows I almost smiled in relief.

I tapped on the window with the end of my flashlight and waited for a response, but there was none. I tapped again as a very female groan emitted from inside the car.

I tapped a little harder.

"Park ranger, people," I shouted, with yet another tap.

When the door finally opened, a disheveled girl leaned out from over a familiar body with a smirk that told me she was very happy. The day just kept getting better and better, Zach's unabashed smirk made my stomach turn in my gut.

"Hello Ranger Clearwater," he laughed. "What can I do for you?"

Anger was the most prevalent emotion to rear it's ugly head. I wasn't sure if it was because I was tired or tired of his games, but whatever it was, I went with it.

"I need you to get dressed and step out of the vehicle, sir. Place you hands palm down on the top of the car."

"You have to be fucking kidding me," the girl squeaked as she fell back. "Zach, you said . . ."

"Shut up and get dressed," Zach said quietly under his breath. His eyes lingering on mine. I hoped he could see how fed up with this I was. I needed him to understand that I wasn't a doormat. If he wanted to screw who he wanted, that was up to him, but I wouldn't accept him doing it under my nose and hoping to get caught.

I stomped my way back to the cruiser and pulled out my ticketing book. Travis lifted his eyebrow but as soon as the figures emerged from the car understanding ran unfettered across his brow. I shook my head quickly before I closed the door behind me. I hoped he understood I needed him to stay in the car.

"Leah . . ." Zach started as I meandered back toward them, but one look silenced him. I was going to get through this like a professional. I wasn't going to give into him. Whatever had been feeding my guilt was already worn down beyond its limit.

"Do either of you have ID?" I asked, clicking on my flashlight again.

"Fuck, my dad is going to kill me if I get a ticket."

"Ma'am, get in the car. This is your first warning, if I find you up here again I will give you a ticket for public indecency and lewd conduct, do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," she sang. She gave Zach a double take before climbing into the drivers seat and putting both hands on the steering wheel.

"So you're gonna give me a ticket?" Zach asked, a little more cocky. I was so angry I simply glared at him.

"Sir, this is not your first warning. I need your license."

Zach stepped toward me but I stepped back and turned my light on him, blinding him with the beam.

"Is that necessary?"

"What the fuck do you think, Zach? You've been pushing and pushing and pushing, what did you want me to do? I know I hurt you, and I know you want to hurt me back, but this is my fucking job. Are you trying to make me hate you?"

In a swift movement he cleared the two steps between us and wrapped his hand around my arm and pulled me to him, it wasn't in violence, it was desperation. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Travis' voice cut through the light coming from the spotlight on the car.

"Let her go, Zach."

Zach's eyes turned to the light, his pupils going to pinpoints as he did. I could see the confusion burning in his expression.

"Travis?" Zach asked looking between me and the car, betrayal written clearly across his face.

Travis made his way toward us as Zach released my arm as though it was burning him. His eyes made another pass between Travis and I, but I was speechless. I didn't know how to handle this.

"Well isn't this cozy?"

"Don't," Travis said stepping up close. "We were both worried about you, Zach. Before you jump to conclusions we're just friends."

"I should have known," Zach seethed. "I knew the moment you looked at her that there was something going on. Could you not let me have one moment of happiness. Did you have to take the one girl that I loved from me?"

"Zach . . ." I started, but I was cut off as he whirled to face me.

"You said we broke up because of the deal with the money, you said . . ."

"No, I didn't say anything. You made an assumption," I snapped.

"Talk to me then, make me understand."

"I can't. I tried but I can't. Here let me try this again, I'm a . . ." I choked on my words, my hand moved to my throat as my tongue felt like it was in a blender. I really hated the feeling, even if it was to make a point.

"Wow, that's the most pathetic excuse I think I ever heard."

"Fuck you, Zach. Thanks for making it so easy to get over it."

I spun on my heel and marched back to the car, when I hit the searchlight I could see Travis arguing with his brother. I hit the siren switch on and off and waited for Travis to get a move on. I wasn't exactly in a patient mood anymore. Of course the moment I opened the door to call him I heard the baying of a wolf. It wasn't a grey wolf either.

"Fuck, bastard," I mumbled, climbing out of the car. I stepped in between the two guys that were now chest to chest and shoved them both hard. There wasn't time for this. "Zach, go home, now. Don't stop for anyone, I don't care if there's a body in the road go the fuck around it. Just get in the car and go. Travis, get in the cruiser and lock the doors. Do not open the door unless it's me." I threw him the keys to the shotgun and gave him a pointed look. "Only use that in an emergency do you understand me, and make sure you know what you're looking at before you shoot."

Both of them stared at me like I'd lost my mind, but the howl was growing louder and closer, which meant the bloodsucker was headed in this direction.

"Oh and it's illegal to shoot wolves," I added. "Under any circumstances."

Neither of them moved and I was losing valuable time.

"Go, now. Both of you. This is not a drill people."

Zach hesitantly made the first move, he ran around the car and climbed in, and I could hear him giving the girl orders to get the hell out of there. She was so afraid of getting a ticket she stayed where she was, which only meant she was going to end up dead, or worse . . . Bitten. In a desperate attempt to get them moving I tapped on her window.

"Unless you want that ticket, get the hell out of here, and don't stop till you hit town. You got me?"

She didn't even wait for me to step away. She hit the gas and spun her back end around behind her kicking up gravel and dust. At least she got the message loud and clear.

"Travis, please don't ask questions, get in the car and stay there. I promise I will explain everything but I'm running out of time and if I have to worry about you I will get killed. I need to know you're in that car and you're safe."

"What the hell is going on?"

"I don't have time. You have a choice me alive, get in the car and stay there, me dead stay right here and argue with me."

Apparently that was all he needed for motivation. He sprinted toward the car and climbed in, the locks clicking in place. I gave him one last look and took off into the trees, peeling off my uniform as I ran.

A/N: Dun Dun Dun... A wolf's job is never done. I know Zach was harsh in the way he was acting but the truth is he's hurt and he was behaving the only way he knew how. Travis should have stayed in the car and kept his mouth shut but the imprint seemed to give him the motivation to protect her. Thanks to all of you who read, favorite, alert and review. You're all amazing and I have no words for some of the compliments you've offered. You blow my mind and I love you all for it. Thanks to my beta Hev99 for being there for me, to my BFF and Twinnifer Sabi'sSookie, for pre-reading and being an all round fabulous person and to PinkIndeed for pre reading and being a great friend. Love you girls. MWAH!