Sorry, guys, my computer is STILL kinda broken. I don't even know how I'm on right now, but while I'm on, I've decided to write up another column and update While You Were Gone. Just cuz I love you all that much :)

Ed: Well that's why she's an opposite gender clone! DUH!

Barry: ... Can I chop you up? Wait... why would I ask... -finds Barry's rotting body- ew... oh well... -starts cutting it up-

Wrath: No! -still clinging-

-Hoshi-Ryuu is going to talk now... again-

Ed: I'm not one of Tucker's experiments! Are you nuts?!

Wrath: Good.

Roy: ...I'm not gonna answer.. (Shoushin: They'll be wearing bikinis or miniskirts... which ever you want, Roy...)

Shoushin and Hoshi: -this is to everyone-... What would you do for a Klondike Bar?... Would you leave a poor defenseless kitten out in the rain to starve?

Shoushin & Hoshi: -for everyone again- Okay… before we go... Out of these 5... which do you like? Shattered legends, Wing's wish, Heaven's illusion, Secretive souls, or Shattered wing's illusion.

Shoushin

Ed: A clone is an exact copy of the original. That's why certain species of animals consist only of females and others consist only of males. So no, she's not a clone of me.

Barry The Chopper: Hey!! Stop that! I'm the only one who can chop people up in here!!

Wrath: Damnit, let go of me, woman! You're making me angry!!!!

Ed: No, but I think you are.

Roy: Sounds terrific.

Al: No!!! Of course not!!!

Ed: That's just mean.

Roy: Why are you asking us? Are you trying to think up a name for some secret, exclusive club or something?

Ed: If we help you think of a name, then we've got to be in it.

Al: Oh, come on! Jus help them! It's probably for girls only, anyway.

Ed: Oh. Well, then, we'll have to have Winry infiltrate them!

Roy: Riza, you too.

Winry & Riza: JUST CHOOSE A NAME ALREADY!!

Ed & Roy: Alright, already!

Ed: You chose first.

Roy: No, you.

Al: How about Shattered Wing's Illusion, since it's like a combination of them all?

To everyone: How come you guys are all here forced to answer strange, sometimes crazy and insane questions? Do you guys have anything else to do? And have you explored the FMA section on fanfiction? For all your sakes, please don't... Me, I'll be fine, but to you all, you'll probably be scarred for life if not already happened or worse...

Sakura-Moonlight

Ed: Of course we other stuff to do!

Al: We just know that sometimes people have problems that they can't really ask people they know about, so we decided that we should open this up so that they can come to us for help. And if we have to answer one person's question, we have to answer everyone's…

Ed: Trust me, all of us already know about the horrible things that you people do to us.

I'm not going to put a weird intro about donuts or whatever because this is SERIOUS.

To... ANYONE! (Especially Ed because he just seems to know what to do):

HELP! HELP! HELP!
I don't know what to do! (Deep breath) A while ago, I was cutting something with a knife when I accidentally cut myself. It stung for a while, but then I felt really good about myself. I dunno why, but it felt satisfying. Then I cut myself again, but this time deliberately. And I LICKED the blood off my cut! Now I'm afraid because I'm starting to enjoy cutting myself! I don't want to self mutilate!

There is no one in my life that I trust enough to tell. SO WHAT DO I DO TO STOP MYSELF?

-HisokaYukiko (Starting to feel light headed)

Ed: What makes you think I'D know what to do!?

Al: Come one, Brother, she's asking you!

Ed: Alright, alright. Well…if you're lucky, it could just be a phase. I've met many people on my journeys, so I can say that I've met many different kinds of people. I know some people who would cut themselves here and there, but then found better things to occupy their time. Of course, you don't seem like the kind of person who would do something like that and enjoy it, but then again, you never know. It's good idea to talk to someone before it gets too serious. A guidance counselor, a parent, even a friend or older sibling (there has to be someone that you can trust). Yes, you'll probably have to go through a lot of crap, but it will be worth it. That will be your best and safest bet, so I should really make you do that, but I think it's fair to give out other options. Try to resist going near knives and the like. Don't let yourself do it; use your self-control (similar to a person on a diet trying to resist chocolate). Eventually, the want to do it will decrease and eventually (hopefully) vanish. You could also satisfy the urge to cut with something less harmful; for example, instead of picking up a knife, pick up a book and read. You could also search online for other ideas, but those are mine. However, you should still really tell someone about it, because you just never know. Oh, and good luck.

Yo! By the way, I'm going through MAJOR FMA crush fazes lately and I just want to warn you that my biggest crush is Scar so he should probably be careful...

Ed:
Blech! Caffiene! Grodey. You know what would be HILLARIOUS? If Scar actually blew your brains up and it was like stew splattered on the wall! Hahahaha. hm... I think I might be done being mean to you. But one will never know.

Al:
Well I tried.
I don't know why but you remind me of silly putty for some reason...

Envy:
You know what? You have team spirit issues! In fact, I spit on your team spirit. That's right, I SPIT ON IT!

Kimbley:
kicks you in the shins then bonks you on the noggin You suck!

Russell:
Rude-o! Hmph! Its over.

Roy: I picked him over you because I uber love Vic and I don't uber love you. You pickin' up what I'm puttin' down? Oh by the way! Look, this is a picture of my friend who likes you. Isn't she pretty? shows picture

Scar:
In case you haven't read... I love you! clings to you with absolutely no intention of letting go I will follow your hottness wherever it goes! Oh and can you make my friends brain explode? Oh and before you say no, she wants to become a state alchemist! grumbles I wish I could explode peoples brains. Oh how the two would fear me, bwahahaha!

Havoc:
Oh suck it up, your acting pathetic! Be a man!

Lust:
Ok, nobody wants to see that! Your making me wanna barf.

Hohenheim:
Did you know your emo? Like I just realized that, man are you ever emo! But you still rock.

Some by my friend...

Ed: I love you! You are the best character ever!

Al: Give it up, your never going to get a cat.

Envy:
...Androgynous weirdo.

Riza:
Leave Roy alone!

Winry:
Go drink some acid. (Yes, all my friends don't like you either! We're thinking of starting a Winry hating club).

Scar:
Loser. How dare you try to hurt my Edo! I can't believe Bubble Wrap (me) likes you! (by the way, she was saying leggo my Edo when you were trying to blow up his brains. While I was rooting for you :D)

Lust:
You rock! I'm cosplaying as you!

End of her... Oh and she's the one who I want Scar to blow up.

Oh and yes, I LOVE old songs!

Sincerely,
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist.

Ed: NO WAY! GEEZE, MAKE IT A LITTLE LONGER NEXT TIME!!!

Al: Brother, calm down! Oh, um…okay…

Envy: Well you have fun doing that cuz I DON'T CARE!

Kimbley: You're kicking the guy that can easily blow you up? Do it again and I won't hesitate to kill you!

Russell: Um…ok…sorry.

Roy: Hey, she's really good looking! And she likes me, you say? Any idea if she's single?

Riza: Sir! She's got to be a lot younger than you!

Roy: Eheh heh heh…just kidding!

Scar: Um…could you please let go of me and possibly leave me alone? She's not a State Alchemist yet, so until then, I really have no business with her.

Havoc: O-Okay…

Lust: Get over it.

Hohenheim: Yes…I suppose you could say that. But thanks anyway.

Ed: Haha… Yes, I know :D

Al: Yes I will! Someday…

Envy: Fcuk you.

Riza: Sorry, but as long as he keeps slacking off, I don't think I'll be able to.

Winry: Well then don't talk to me! And no, I won't!

Scar: Sorry, but I was on a mission to avenge my people.

Lust: Thank you.

To Roy:
- -knock knock- Did you break out of there yet? -unlocks the door-
To Envy:
- Um.. I uh.. found it somewhere? DON'T KILL ME!! HELP!! SOMEONE!!
To Ed:
- SAVE ME! -uses you as a human shield- Wait.. -huggle-
To Envy:
- DON'T KILL ED EITHER!
To Al:
- -runs to the corner- COME HERE!! -Here's a kitten, be sure Ed doesn't see it!.. I gotta hide from Envy now, bye!! -scream-

Gothic Fangirl

Roy: (runs out) I never thought that I'd run from a room full of women, but these girls were just crazy!!

Ed: What the hell is wrong with you?! LET GO!!

Envy: Now why should I let the two of you live?

Al: Yay

Ed: GIVE IT BACK, AL!!

Al: Huh? Give what back?

Ed: You know what I mean, Al.

Al: Uhm…Rabbits eat lettuce? 0:)

Ed: You have three seconds to give that kitten back. One…Two…

Al: Alright, alright! Sorry!

(A/N Uhh…I skipped around in the order. Don't ask me why. But I have everyone's questions here, just not in the same order that you posted them. I could rearrange them, but I don't want to test my computer's patience. Sorry if there's any confusion!!!)

First set is mine, second set is my friend Saz-chan's.

To Ed: Don't let the height comments get to you. I'm an adult and barely tall enough to not need a booster seat in the car. Know what I do? Besides beating them up. I don't react (if I don't pound their face in) It really makes it less fun for them, so they leave me alone.

To Envy: Even though you're a homicidal maniac, you're my number 1 favorite character. Your powers are wicked. But is there anyone you actually like, you know, not in a "I'm about to gleefully kill you" way?

To Riza: I love how you keep Roy in check, but have you ever actually done more than threaten him with the gun? Ever got to shoot him?

To Roy: I used to hate your guts because you were a jerk. I like you now, but what's up with all the jerkiness?

SAZ-CHAN'S QUESTIONS

Envy: Instead of being all misunderstood and having to kill people who think you're a girl (and I did too!) why not just use a deeper voice, or NOT wear a crop top or something? You can't be that in love with what you wear!

Ed: You ever thought about just chopping off Roy's legs at the knee so you guys're the same height?

Lust: Do you have a hard time keeping your top up? It looks kinda precarious!

And hey, how come the only Homunculi wearing crop tops are dudes!! What's up with that?

Zilo's Blue Pen

Ed: Sure. Except I can't really control it, because it makes me so mad.

Envy: Heh, thanks. But no, there isn't.

Riza: Thank you. No, I haven't. I've shot at him and purposely missed (like with Black Hayate), but I've never shot him.

Roy: Jerkiness? You mean how I treat FullMetal? No, I just like to torment and tease him.

Envy: You want a bet? It confuses people, obviously, so I like it.

Ed: Are you suggesting that I'm short or something? I'M STILL GROWING, YOU KNOW!!!!

Lust: No.

Envy: Why, do you have a problem with it?

More questions and comments from me. This one is from my friend, for Kimbley- I quote her "can you please blow up my church, every time I'm in there, I want to make demonic noises, by the way, you rock" end of quote.

The homunculi- What would you do if you were trapped in a room with the virtues from Chronos Crusade? By the way, they're probably as powerful, if not more, than you.

Ed- What hurt more, being slammed into a tree by Izumi, or being slammed into the stairs by Heiderich?

Moofy-Fan

Kimbley: Hell yeah, I can!

Envy: Heh, I doubt they are.

Lust: We'd probably destroy them.

Wrath: YEAH!!

Ed: Being slammed into a tree. Are you kidding? Izumi is way stronger than Heiderich.

This is from a person tired of getting hurt. I have found out from experience that if you get too close to a person, eventually you end up getting burnt. I am careful in keeping my friends from getting too close, and have never let anyone be involved with me in a romantic way. Even my family is kept at cautious distance. I keep everything to myself, be it sorrow, despair or anger. All the while, I keep up a cheerful facade, and no one suspects anything. In fact, their opinion of me would be something like 'a cheerful girl, perhaps to the point of carelessness'. However, I have harmed myself several times, and tried suicide three times, once by taking 40 pills, with no success. While I am recovering, all the feelings stored away seem to be taking a toll on me, physically and mentally. Even though I can work out the stress and feel good for a while by exerting myself at the athletic club, when I feel 'happy', there is always that feeling of sorrow underneath. Even when I want to cry, my pride would not let me. One of the most frustrating things are that, even when I wish to feel detached from the people around me, when they get hurt by someone, I can't help but feel anger for the person that has hurt them. I feel this desire to protect them from the world, even if I can't. I can't turn to people I face daily, so I have come to the sanctuary of nameless, faceless persona for help- I'd like as many opinions as I can get.

Loveless?

Ed: You're either pessimistic, or you're depressed.

Al: Brother! You're not helping!

Ed: I'm only saying the truth!

Al: Listen, no matter how much you try to distance yourself from people, you're going to have to deal with them.

Roy: And no matter whether or not you distance yourself or not, you're going to get hurt anyway.

Winry: The first thing you should try to do is become closer with your friends and family.

Riza: Granted, you will get hurt, but you're already hurting yourself now.

Ed: You should also try talking about this to someone, even if it feels difficult. Family, friends, a guidance counselor, someone like that.

Winry: You should really seek out help before you end up hurting yourself.

Al: And if you absolutely cannot ask anyone for help, at least try changing your opinion of the world.

Roy: People are always going to hurt you, so you need to learn to get used to that, but there will also be people who want to help you, and who love you no matter what.

Riza: You can change yourself, but not the entire world.

Ed: And you said that sometimes you feel better when you're working out. Maybe you just need to channel that negative energy into something positive.

All: We hope that helps! Good luck!

Her evilness has returned!
I am hyper just warning you and in my hyperness I hit upon the idea of all giving you weird nicknames envy you are first I noticed that you have hair like Sideshow Bob! So from this day forth you are Sideshow Bob! Scar you are next
Kimbley-chan I will figure it out!
Al thanks but no thanks I prefer hitting him oh and the comment was not about my size
everyone congratulate me! My aunt just had a baby! It's a girl they called it Nalani Jade Phillips! I am a cousin (for the fourth time!)
Edo, have a cookie! -shoves it in mouth-

roxie-san

Envy: You realize that I have to kill you now. And who the hell is Sideshow Bob!?!?

Kimbley: WHAT did you call me?

Al: Oh, okay.

Girls: YAY! Congrads!!!

Guys: Um…

Ed: MUGHS MUPPMH PRMOOMPH!!

I WOULD follow the advice and all, but there are a few problems.

I misplaced the TV remote and I don't know how to record shows

I went and left practically ALL of my Latin stuff at school. I'M STUPID, DON'T RUB IT IN!

An unspecified number of clothes that I would have packed are MIA

and, last but not least, in fact probably most,

I FORGOT TO STOCK UP ON BOOKS TO BRING!

XD HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

Ed: GEEZE, WOMAN, ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING!?

Al: Take it easy on her!!

Winry: Uhh…well then, get a friend to tape things for you and borrow some books from your friends! Or bring some that you've already read before, or something!

Ed: …How the hell do you lose clothes?

Al: Brother!!

To Ed: Did you ever think of getting a hair cut? (Not that I don't like your hair! It rocks! I think it does look better long) I just wondered if there was a reason for not getting a haircut. Do you think longer hairs cooler or did you just never take the time to cut your hair?

To Roy: Do your paper work!

To both Ed and Roy: Havoc and Al have more fan girls than both of you! (hehehe not that I don't like you both! You 2 rule! just not as much as Al and Havoc and Hughes)
Hm. How many fan girls does Scar have?

Haley07

Ed: Well, think about it. I'd never really get the chance to get a regular haircut, so it's much easier just keeping it long. And anyway, fangirls usually go crazy over it.

Roy: I'll do it when I feel like it! And no, they don't. Trust me.

Ed: I know my little brother has a lot of fangirls, and yeah, he probably has more than Colonel Bastard over there, but no way does he have more than me!

Roy: And Havoc can't even get a date.

Havoc: Don't remind me!!!

Ok, so yeah, that's it for today! Hopefully I'll be able to get my computer to cooperate with me more…Well anyway, I'm reading the next manga chapter of FMA online right now (damn me…), and there was just a stray kitty outside my house, but the poor thing ran away as soon as I opened the door, so I couldn't help I :( Poor baby…Maybe Alphonse can take care of it Hopefully I'll be able to update next week, if my computer lets me.