Lunar Ascension

Chapter 17: The Art of Discretion

Disclaimer: All things in the Twilight universe belong to Stephenie Meyer and her publishers. The song and lyrics belong to the band and their representatives. Any other copyrighted material included in this story belongs to their rightful owners. Cheers ma dears! Rated M

Fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet
Love on repeat
I'm echoing all your philosophies
In My Head by Anna Nalick

I tried to hold his gaze as the words spilled over my lips, but my nerves got the best of me and I missed his reaction completely. All I had to confirm he'd heard me was the way he squeezed my hand in his; his thumb trembling slightly as it made circles on the back of my hand. The only thing that broke up the silence in the car was the shuffling of the two wolfhounds in the back. It was torture, there were times when silence was called for but to my mind; this was not one of them. I knew only seconds were passing, but it felt like eons.

I was so afraid of seeing disappointment in his eyes I kept my eyes on our intertwined fingers. I sucked in breaths to talk but blew them out without following through. I needed something from him, anything to tell me what he was thinking. I wasn't sure I could handle a look of rejection. Just because we were imprinted, didn't mean that he would be happy about procreating.

Finally, when I could take it no more, I let my eyes flicker to his and almost stopped breathing completely. He was in shock, that much was clear in his frozen expression, but the look itself wasn't what I'd been expecting. There was a broad smile on his face that stretched his lips over his beautiful white teeth, and his eyes were crystal blue and shining with a happiness I hadn't counted on. Even with the piercings he looked almost child-like in his elation. I wanted to hold him in my arms and shower him with kisses, but I restrained myself.

"Travis?" I whispered.

"You're having my baby?" he laughed, slowly unfreezing himself from his locked position. The sparkle in his eyes seemed to dance now the spell was broken, which only made him all the more handsome in my eyes.

"Yes, it's why I can't phase. My body has adapted and Carlisle suspects it will stay that way for the duration."

I could hear the trembling in my own voice. I still wasn't sure whether or not he was happy or simply frozen in disbelief, but that smile he was still wearing contradicted all of my thoughts. Before I could take a breath he'd pulled me over the small console and into his lap where he littered my cheeks with kisses. His hand came to rest on my stomach as he finally paused with his face buried in my neck.

"When?" he murmured, the heat of his breath licking against my skin.

I smiled at the memory that came to mind, it was definitely a memory I was happy to keep. That moment had been filled with love as we explored the other. He'd eased the pain and suffering and changed it into something beautiful, and now . . . Well now, it seemed to mean so much more. He'd given me something I'd never thought I would have.

"That first time," I laughed, burying my fingers in his hair as I rested my cheek against his ear. "You've got some epic swimmers apparently."

He laughed against my skin sending small shivers down my spine. I'd been so worried about how he was going to react I hadn't even considered the possibility he'd be happy about it. I was twenty two, he was twenty four, it stood to reason there was a chance he'd reject the idea, but that wasn't my Travis. I should have known that.

"Speak to me," I hummed happily. "What's going through that head of yours?"

"I don't think I can, speak I mean," he sighed. "I don't have the words to describe how happy this makes me. I think I've always wanted kids but I never met the right woman. Then there you were, and I was so consumed with you I hadn't thought about it. I just wanted you in my life desperately, friends, lovers, fuck buddies, I would have taken anything, but you inexplicably wanted me back. I hadn't hoped that one day . . . Wow, we're going to be parents."

I laughed and cupped his cheek with my hand as I leaned in to kiss him. He held me to him with a kind of desperation as his lips continued their dance with mine. When he pulled back he let his forehead rest against mine as he smiled again.

"What are you thinking?"

"Me?" I asked, stroking his cheek with all the love I had in me. "I couldn't be happier than I am in this moment."

We tangled in one another, our limbs folded around the others body. I hadn't lied, I didn't think I had ever felt this elated. The dark cloud over what would happen with our future lingered on the edges of my mind, but it didn't have the strength to break through and take this from me. To think that my life had gone from being bitterly alone to finding love and discovering that I could actually conceive was more than I had the smarts to hope for, but it was here all laid out for me and I wouldn't give it up for anything.

Nothing could touch us in our little bubble there in the car. It was a beautiful moment where the world melted away and left just us and a future that we could both see. There was no doubt in my mind that this child was my own little miracle, and I would cherish it every day for the rest of my life.

I knew it was only a matter of time until we had to face some realities along with the miracle, and of course it all happened too soon for my liking. Travis was a smart guy, and I knew the moment he'd let himself think about the future. His body tensed beneath me and his arms were protectively rigid around me.

"Wait, but what about . . .?" his voice trailed off leaving the unspoken words to hang in the air between us. It was hard not to think about it. Even I hadn't completely succeeded, but this was a moment of happiness, I didn't want to taint it with talk about fighting and threats. I just wanted to drown in the happiness before realty came at us in the form of twenty red eyed freaks.

"We'll deal with that when the time comes," I said quietly.

"And you can't phase?"

I shook my head.

"So you won't be fighting?"

"No," I said again with a sigh. I didn't relish the fact that I'd left them one short, but it was something I had to come to terms with. Not being able to phase meant I was vulnerable, that was something that I hadn't been for a long time. I'd prided myself on being able to take care of myself, but without the wolf to help I was just another person a little faster and a little stronger than the rest. It wouldn't be like that forever, but I wasn't sure how I was supposed to protect us all without it.

Travis pulled me close again, his arms tight around me. It took me a second to realize that this was relief. He was relieved I wouldn't be out there fighting. I'd never really considered how he felt about me putting my life on the line before. It was selfish of me, but in all honesty it was something I'd just accepted a long time ago. I was, for lack of a better term, a warrior, a fighter, it was all I knew how to do.

"Thank God," Travis whispered under his breath, obviously forgetting my keen sense of hearing.

I bit my tongue. I wasn't going to argue with him about this now. All of my friends and family would be out there fighting. All of them would be putting their lives on the line to guarantee us all a future. I should be out there with them, showing unity, but I was less than useless. I couldn't be happy about that, I wouldn't, any loss we took I would blame myself for. I should have been going out there with them, fighting, but I was a liability. I was happy with Travis, I was happy I was pregnant, but that didn't mean I wasn't terrified about what it would mean when we were arms deep in red eyed vampires fighting for our lives.

I shook off the thoughts and stored them away for later. These were things I would discuss with Jacob. He was possibly the only person that would understand how I felt, how torn I was about all of this. I just hoped he had the words of wisdom to make the dread deplete from my gut.

"Come on," I finally said, forcing a smile to my lips. "If we park out here much longer Charlie will drive by and we'll have to explain this little rendezvous. Mom would never forgive me if Charlie found out before she did."

He nodded and kissed my temple before releasing me to climb back over the center console, smacking my ass with a laugh as I did.

"Make the most of that flexibility while you can, sexy."

"Fucker," I mumbled, making him laugh all over again.

I settled myself in my seat and ignored the safety belts like I always did. I shook my head as he guffawed even louder. I wasn't really as pissed off as I was making out to be, but it still smarted a little.

"I love it when you talk dirty to me," he snickered, brushing his hand down my hair as he tried to compose himself.

With another grumble filled with expletives, I took off toward my childhood home leaving all the negativity behind me.

Having not thought things through and discussed when we were going to tell people, I almost choked on my own tongue when Travis introduced himself to my mom as the father of her grandchild. I punched him in the arm hard enough to make him react seconds before I was smothered by my mom and her excitement.

The afternoon was filled with periodical exclamations of happiness. She practically pitched a fit when she realized I'd known a whole hour longer than she had. I was actually glad to escape and take the dogs to the beach. Of course she dug out the winter jacket I no longer needed, as well as my dad's hunting jacket for Travis so we wouldn't freeze to death. I hadn't seen her this maternal in a long time, and as we finally breached the beach and released the dogs, I was happy for the silence.

"Your an idiot," I laughed at Travis who was stood with his hands in his pockets and bundled up courtesy of my mom. "What did you expect to happen when you introduced yourself as the father of her grandchild?"

He grinned at me, nonplussed by my name calling. He was still high from the news, and nothing I said, teasing or otherwise, was going to change that for him. I actually found myself smiling broadly because it made it easier for me to push aside everything else.

"What? I think she was kind of sweet about it all. It got me all excited again."

"No shit, and now you're dressed up as the abominable snowman."

"Hey, I'm warm. I don't have your body heat so it's actually helping, that wind is fucking freezing."

I shook my head and looped my arm through his as we followed the dogs down to the shore. Both Greg and Steve seemed to be challenging one another to go in the water, as soon as they got close, the other would barrel toward the one who was daring to get closer and they'd take off down the beach happy as larks. With all this fresh air they would be passed out before we hit the highway.

It was quiet, as it always was his time of year. The only people who really ever came down here was us, our body heat meant that the weather didn't effect us. Our strength meant it was easy for us to cut against the current, and the emptiness meant we could just relax. I'd forgotten how much I loved it down here.

"Hey, no dogs on the beach!" A voice shouted from behind us loud enough to cut through the wind rolling off the pacific.

I turned around and saw Embry stood on one of the whitewashed trees, hands over his mouth to project his voice. For a second, I wasn't sure what to do. If he approached I just hoped Travis didn't introduce himself as the father of my child. I could see that going down like a wet fart in a lead balloon.

"I'll be right back," I said to Travis, deciding it was probably better to avoid a disaster in the making. I knew Embry was still pissed as hell at me. In fact, he was starting to remind me of me at my worst, and that wasn't complimentary. I was well aware of what why he was pissed off. After breaking it off with him I'd cut and run, a double whammy, and I knew that stung like a bitch.

I jogged toward Embry, checking over my shoulder that Travis was alright and that he had the sense to keep walking. Thankfully, he was combing the beach for sticks to throw for the dogs.

I wasn't conceited enough to think that Embry would put up a fight for me. Sure, we'd had fun for a while there in the beginning, but it was more he was lashing out because he was hurt. I was more worried about him opening his mouth and Travis jumping in to defend me. I didn't need that kind of hassle.

"Hey Embry," I said approaching cautiously. I was mentally preparing myself to be insulted and yelled at again.

"Oh, it's you," he said with disdain. "What's with the impersonation of an eskimo?"

"My mom," I said with a shrug. "How are you?"

I could see him trying to restrain himself. I hated seeing the dark circles under his eyes and the lines furrowed on his brow. He'd always been so relaxed before, I felt responsible for making him pissed off at the world.

"Just fucking peachy. Who's the sasquatch?"

"Travis," I said a little too defensively, and it didn't go unnoticed. I wasn't sure what he expected. He and I had seen the others get protective of their imprints on more than one occasion. It wasn't a new development. I just wondered if it made him feel better, because all it was doing was pissing me the hell off.

"Ahh, the imprint."

I'd reached my limit. The way he'd said imprint was full of loathing and I wasn't going start a screaming match with him on the beach.

"Don't say it like that, Embry. Look, I know I was a royal bitch to you, I know I fucked up, but you don't have to be a shithead about it. Believe me, I learned my fucking lesson the hard way. If you're going to keep this up, I'm not going to waste my time."

I turned and started walking away, but I heard the heavy sigh and frustrated growl. He never could stay mad for long when he was yelled at. The truth was I'd let him get away with making me feel like crap for what I'd done for too long. Yes, I'd messed up and hurt him in the process, but my point was walking down the beach throwing sticks for two huge dogs. Imprinting was the reason it never would have worked out.

"Wait, Leah."

I stopped, but I didn't turn around. Instead, I waited for him to jump down from the tree he was stood on and approach me.

"You're . . . Different."

"No I'm not," I answered quickly, but instantly figured out he wasn't talking about the bun I currently had in my oven. He was probably talking about me walking away from a fight, which was most definitely new.

"Maybe not," he laughed, bumping shoulders with me. "What's it like?"

"Imprinting?"

"No being dressed in twenty layers of clothing."

"Smartass," I laughed, happy to finally be able to talk to him like a grown up again. "It's more intense than you'd think. Not in a bad way, but knowing that the one person that will understand you better than anyone else is stood right in front of you can be pretty overwhelming. There's the gravitational pull you see in the other guys minds, but it's so much more than that. He's everything I'm not, he balances me out. It's hard not to see the world differently after that."

It was the first time I'd spoken the words out loud, but it was everything I felt. There were deeper emotions, private emotions and feelings, but I wasn't going to say that out loud. They were the things I held close to me, they were the things that I needed in my life to just get along.

"And you're happy?"

"I really am. I know that doesn't help you any, but I hope you find this one day. I just want you to be happy, Embry, and I know there's someone out there waiting for you. I know she has to be close, because it seems to be the way things work out. You just have to start opening your eyes and looking."

"Yeah, but is there any point now?"

I tipped my head to the side and watched Travis as he ran down toward the outcrop of rocks closer to the water. He danced around with the dogs and chased them around happily, oblivious to the heavy conversation I was currently having. He seemed blissfully at peace, and I longed to share that with him, even if it couldn't last forever.

"There's always a point. You deserve to be loved, Embry, we all do. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I have to believe this will end the right way."

"Hey, at least we get a good fight out of it."

I shrugged. Somehow I knew that not answering would get his attention, but I couldn't bring myself to lie to him. We were finally talking again and I didn't want to lose that because I had avoided telling him the truth to spare his feelings.

"Okay, what was that?" he chuckled, his eyes wide with surprise.

"What was what?"

"The shrug. You're normally the first person to jump into a fight. What aren't you saying?"

I sighed and dragged my eyes away from Travis at the other end of the beach. Turning, I faced Embry head on, and I made sure to keep my eyes on his.

"This is to go no further. I'm only telling you because I respect the shit out of you. I have to break it to the rest of the packs in my own way. You feel me?"

He nodded, and pushed his hands into his pockets as far as they would go.

"I'm not fighting, I can't."

"Of course you can, if you want to, no one can stop you," he said, turning his head and glaring down the beach at Travis.

"No, Embry, you're missing the point. I can't phase, my body won't let me . . ." I trailed off, hoping that I wouldn't have to say it out loud. It felt kind of weird to be informing my ex lover that I was pregnant with my present boyfriends child. It felt like a Jerry Springer moment.

He was silent for a moment, and I knew he'd put it together. It wasn't difficult. Why else would my body refuse to do it's calling? He looked out over the water, the sadness in his eyes evident. I was beginning to regret telling him, when he finally looked back at me and threw his arms around my shoulders.

"I'm happy for you, Lee," he sighed. "I always knew that you were wrong about that."

"Partially wrong," I said slapping his back. "It seems it was only ever going to happen with my imprint."

"And I told you you'd do that too."

"Yeah, yeah, you're a regular psychic Pete."

He sighed and dropped a kiss on top of my head before backing away and releasing me. He gave me a lazy smile and looked down the beach to where the dogs were barking.

"I have to go patrol. Just do me a favor and stay safe. You don't have any way to protect yourself. Don't be the hardheaded, stubborn, pain-in-the-ass you normally are. If you need help, call me."

"I will, though name calling isn't the way to get me to bend to your will. Just don't be a stranger, Em. You're still one of my best friends."

He gave me a nod and loped away from me, but not without calling back over his shoulder: "I can't wait to see you with a belly, Leah. I'm going to memorize it for you until the next time you phase."

"Asshole," I called after him and watched as his shoulders shook with laughter. It was the second time in the same day a guy had commented that I would be getting a baby belly.

Bastards.

I watched him disappear between two of the houses, and turned back to head toward Travis. The moment I got close, he opened his arms and I fell into them, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning my cheek against his shoulder. Both of us just looked out over the ocean in silence as we stood together. I think half of me had expected him to ask about Embry, and the other half had known he wouldn't.

He was patient that way. He knew that if I wanted to talk about it I would, and if I didn't he was fine with that. It was yet another thing he possessed that I didn't. I couldn't love him more for it.

"That was Embry, he said he's going to memorize me fat so he can show me the next time I phase."

"You won't be fat," he said gently, resting his cheek on top of my head. "It's gonna be all baby."

"Baby." I hummed the word happily into the wind. I still wasn't quite sure I believed it myself.

He chuckled gently before falling into silence. The blissful happiness bled back into me as I stood there, and I fully intended on making the best of it. All too soon we would have to face reality, but for now I was happy to just bask in the glow of the news, and hope that my bubble didn't have to burst anytime soon.

A/N:Sorry about the delay guys! Sabi'sSookie, and Hev99 came to visit me and I was more than a little bit distracted. I will be posting twice this week to make up for my faux pas! So Travis is happy and Embry has accepted that he has to move on. I know some of you are worried about Embry having a happy ending, but he will in his own little way I promise. I would also like to apologize for the lack of Review Replies. For some unknown reason it won't link me to it! The newer ones will but the old ones won't. So I am so sorry for that! Hopefully it will let me RR this week!

Thank you to all of you who read, alert, favorite and review. You guys are amazing and I love you for sticking with me :) Hearing what you have to say about the story and the characters is always so much fun for me. I love you guys for being so amazing! Thank you for everything guys! And I promise if the RR's don't work again I will PM you if I have to!

To Sabi'sSookie, Hev99 and PinkIndeed... Thank you guys for standing by me and being the amazing people that you are! Sabi and Hev, it was amazing hanging out with the two of you! You're both amazing people and there are no words for how much I love you both! having you in my life is so important to me! And I can't wait until we get to do it again!

MWAH!