Italy just stared at the table, numbly. Please don't say what I think you're going to say...please, please, please.
"So...I've been thinking." Romano began, carefully. Italy made no move to acknowledge that his brother had spoken to him. The older Italian continued to speak, anyway. "I've been thinking about...surrendering."
I knew it. Still, Italy didn't respond in any way.
Romano continued speaking, "You know, this war is going pretty bad for us right now...if we don't do something soon...well, I think you know what's going to happen."
"Yeah." I want it to happen.
"So...you're okay with this?"
No! No! A million times over, no no no no no! A tear drop hit the table, betraying Italy's once, emotionless face. He'll hate me, and I love him so much I just can't take it! I don't want to give up this stupid war, I want to give up everything.
"Veneziano, please answer me. Are you okay with this or not?"
More tears as Italy mentally screamed, NO! But you won't listen to that! NO NO NO NO NO! But it's not like I have any other choice anymore, is it?
The older italian had gotten fed up with being ignored, "COME ON, DAMMIT! WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE, HERE!" His last words echoed across the room, leaving a tense silence in their wake.
Boiling rage suddenly enveloped Italy, he'd never felt like this in his life. I know we're going to die! You have no idea what this is putting me though! You don't know how hard this is! You don't know how much I'd rather die! Suddenly the anger tipped the scales and something in Italy's head snapped. He shot out of his chair and began screaming, pointing an accusing finger at his startled brother.
"I KNOW WE'RE GOING TO DIE! DO YOU THINK I'M THAT DUMB? I KNOW I'M STUPID, YOU TELL ME EVERY FUCKING DAY THAT I'M STUPID, BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT SOMETIMES I'M JUST IGNORING THINGS SO STUFF LIKE THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN! SO I DON'T GO CRAZY! BUT IT'S TOO FUCKING LATE NOW, I'M DONE WITH THIS! I'M FUCKING DONE! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU CAN'T TELL ME ANYTHING! I'M GOING TO FIGHT, DAMMIT, AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO ME OUT THERE!" He grabbed a salt shaker and hurled it at Romano's head, unable to control his anger for he'd never had to deal with rage this powerful before. The shaker exploded against the wall behind Romano in a shower of salt and glass. Thankfully, even when mad, Italy's aim was still very bad.
"GOOD LUCK SURRENDEING BY YOUSELF, AND GOOD LUCK TAKING OVER MY HALF OF THE COUNTRY WHEN I'M DEAD!" He screamed, bolting from the room and out the front door.
He ran as fast as he could, all the while crying and screaming, until he tumbled over, having tripped on his own feet. Look at you! You can't even run away right! He was smeared in mud and cut grass caked on his skin. He buried his face in the ground and continued crying powerful sobs, having lost all the strength required to move. Something knocked the wind out of him, having kicked his back, and landed on top of him. As Italy caught his breath and continued the sobs the thing had pulled himself off of him, exclaiming, "Oh shit, Veneziano?"
Italy didn't need to look to know who it was. When he spoke through the wails it was mainly to himself, "...I can't d-do it...I c-can't do anything!"
"What can't you do?"
"I-I can't l-let myself d-d-die...but I c-can't surrender e-either...I c-can't do anything! I don't know...w-what...or h-how...I-I don't know..." He answered, his face stinging and raw from the salty tears drenching his cheeks.
He felt Romano pull him up out of the grass and hugged him awkwardly. The soothing hand caressing Italy's back just made him feel guilty rather than better. And now you have to make me feel better, even though everything is my fault. This isn't fair, nothing is fair, anymore.
"...Sorry." Italy tried to apologize for his own weakness.
"Listen." His brother said in a suddenly harsh tone, pulling Italy back to look him in the eyes. "Everything's going to be alright, okay? We're going to go surrender, and that potato- I mean...Germany will understand."
It was a surprisingly nice thing for his brother to say. It was a little weird hearing him say Germany, though. It made Italy wonder for a second if the italian speaking to him was even his brother, in the first place.
"Okay? For God's sake, we're dying! We need to do this or we'll die." Romano continued, trying to further convince his brother.
Italy was dead silent, I'd rather die, this time, though. I want to die! I'm so sick of worrying, and thinking, and fighting! I don't want anyone to hate me, and they can't if I just die! They'd all be sad and sorry for me, and I'd be missed and loved. But if I surrender...everyone will hate me! Germany will hate me, especially. And I love him so much, I just can't do it. I don't have a choice anymore, though do I?
"Veneziano?"
Italy finally began to speak to his brother, "...What if..." Should I really tell him the truth? He'd probably get mad..."What if I want to die?"
The look on his brother's face drove a spike of regret straight through Italy. It was as if someone had punched Romano right in the stomach. The younger Italian instantly looked back down out of guilt.
"No...Veneziano don't say shit like that!"
Tears welled up once more in Italy's eyes, "But it's true! What am I good for? What do I have to live for if Germany hates me?"
"...Me?"
The look of utter hurt and distress on Romano's face caused Italy to avert his eyes, guilt once again plaging him. I'm so sorry, fratello! "You're my brother...and I love you...but I...I think I love Germany in a different way..." In the way where I don't think I can live without him...
"Oh God." Romano chocked on a sob as he hid his face in his hands, "Veneziano...oh God. What the Hell? Oh God, what the Hell can I say?"
Muffled sobs emitted from his brother as he shook with th effort of trying to hid it.
"Are you crying?" Italy asked out of pure surprise.
Romano shook his head hurriedly, trying to shrug off his hurt, "No, no. Just...oh fuck, Veneziano. You can't kill yourself over this...don't you even think about killing yourself over that bastard. Fuck...fucking fuck."
The load of guilt on Italy's chest only increased, "...I'm sorry."
"STOP SAYING THAT! STOP BEING SORRY!" He pulled his head out of his hands to reveal a face stained with tears and rage, "YOU NEED TO FUCKING MAN UP AND STOP APOLOGIZING ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME! DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, DAMMIT! STOP APOLOGIZING, STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE STOP PUTTING EVERYONE ELSE BEFORE YOU!" Romano jabbed a finger into Italy's chest to get the point across.
He's right. "Okay." Italy said, defeated.
"Good. Now come on, we're going to sign that armistice."
"You mean...you already have it ready? The allies already know and everything?" It shocked Italy, his brother had gone behind his back and set this up, God knows how long ago. It also meant he expected Italy to agree to signing it, anyway.
Romano continued, seemingly unaware of his brother's surprise. "Yeah, all there is to do now is sign it."
Can I do this?
Author's note: I don't usually do these, I don't know why, but I just don't. XD But, you know, I figured I might as well start, since you guys take the time to read my story, so I should take the time to tell you what's going on, when you can expect to see another chapter, ect.
So sorry this chapter took so long, my laptop caught two trojan horses, and then the hard drive managed to get wiped. And that was all on Christmas eve. DX Merry Christmas. I've been using my little sister's computer in the meantime. I wasn't going to continue this story until I could do it on my own laptop, but then I found out that it would take a whole 2-4 weeks to get the system fully restored, so I figured I might as well get cracking.
I honestly don't like this chapter very much, since I've been sick lately and kinda hastily banged this one out. It's kind of a filler chapter, since we already went through this last chapter, but I felt Italy's POV really had to be shown in this situation, even though we all pretty much know what he's thinking.
There's going to be about four or five chapters of this left, and then a sequel which I've already started writing. You could actually read the sequel on it's own, but it helps to read this one in addition to it because it gives you more insight into why Germany and Italy are the way they are in the modern day. And you'll get to see Prussia. A lot of Prussia. And he'll be meddling, because he's just that awesome.
Next chapter get ready to meet the Allies! (Or, you know, listen to them bicker.) Please review! I really love getting feedback on my stories, good or bad. (But I'd prefer the bad feedback be constructive.) It keeps me going and inspires me to write to my full potential! ^^
*end horribly long author's note*