So I'm beginning to type this column at 12:30 am on 8/16. Let's see when I end. Hopefully, the Ouran twins and talk of Haji's sandwich will keep me awake…As well as countless AMVs consisting of thunder, waffles, cats and more.
Hey Envy, I believe congratulations are in order. You see, my friend (who doesn't reach the point of full obsession nearly as often as I do) has extended her FMA obsessiveness to you. Previously, it encompassed primarily Ed and Wrath. Want to know how I know this? Last night she was on youtube watching music videos centric on you...and she took screencapsOh, and for all the homunculi, my mythology class yesterday accidently gave me some serious insight into all of your characters. We were discussing the universal consciousness and theories that explain parallel myths, and a short conversation about the difference between souls and minds struck me and when I expanded on that I got shot right into something that explains all of you so well! So...there may be one-shots featuring each of you about to be written in my future.BTW, Roy...you were one of the people who has been in this dream I've had. It's been a different person every night since I watched Transformers, but a couple weeks ago you were one of them. I was sitting on your lap in the back seat of a car that was driving itself, but then when another car went by I thought it might be a good idea to make it look like someone was driving, so I went to go sit in the front seat only you were trying to hold me back in the back seat and...yeah...I don't know why I told you that.Also...something just occurred to me that I should mention to Havoc. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, your smoking might be a turn-off to the type of girl you're interested in? Just a thought.Now, as this is actually supposed to be an advice column, I must now ask for advice. I am taking three college classes this summer, and I can't afford the textbooks. I'm sort-of making do...but it's difficult. I'm not eligible for financial aid until fall...and time is against me in a lot of ways. Thoughts?Ideas? Helpful hints? Anyone?
FriendlyFangirl88
Envy: Well…I guess that's cool… as long as she knows I'm better than both of them!
Lust: Sure, fine.
Gluttony: …kay
Roy: …Whatever you do right before you go to bed, stop doing it.
Havoc: Yes, yes, I know! Everyone tells me that, so I'm trying my best!
Ed: Get a job? Even a part-time one will help. Maybe babysit some brats or do the whole cashier thing, but that's probably your safest bet. You could also try doing things like cleaning around your house and getting your parents to pay you. And who knows, you could have $50 in that old desk drawer. Unfortunately, that's really all the advice I can offer you; get some kind of job.
More questions and comments from me.Fletcher- What would you do if you heard your brother talking about putting you up for adopionRussell- WASUP CHARLIE MURFY!?!?!?! punchesGreed- Would you go on the show Pimp my Ride?
Moofy-fan
Fletcher: Uh…haven't you already asked me this? Like a thousand times?
Russell: Oww(rubs punched arm)
Greed: Hellz yeah I would!
Ed: ... awwishtehwittle puppy mad? -pats his head- It's okay wittle puppy... we'll get you a new toy and you'll be all better! -laughs-Barry: You do? -puts his head over mine- Ooh... I'm a crazy lady cutter upper!Envy: -coughs up blood all over him- ugh... -falls over dead, after a few moments, jumps up, wounds are gone- Yay for immortality!!Wrath: HA! You can't talk! -puts some more duck tape on him-Lust: Welcome!Scar: ... well... if it isn't obvious... I don't think things through... usually... and I thought I'd give you two a hug sense I you both off with the whole patting your head thing... but I just made you more mad
Shoushin
Ed: I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You.
Barry The Chopper: HEY!!! Give me that back!!!!!!!
Envy: What the hell ARE you!?
Wrath MRMMMMPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scar: Well I hope you've learned your lesson.
I am your FATHER!To EnvyWell... that spicegirlsvid wasn't that good anyways. You can destroy all the vids that degrade you... Except my favorite EnvyXEd one where you declare your love...LOL! I'm not an EnvyXEd fan, don't worry. It's just a joke bit done by cosplayers. Don't destroy that one.-HisokaYukiko
Ed: No you're not. My father is a worthless bastard pile of scum.
Hohenheim: …
Envy: No, I think I'm gonna destroy that one, too.
SAZ'S STUFFI'm so happy! Know why? Guess? Anyone? No?I get to give out random gifts today to all my favorite people!!So...Roy: Yay! You're fine! (hugs again)Riza: Do you know where I can get a can of oxygen in case he starts that coughing thing again...?Barry the Chopper: Don't know what that means, but cool! (gives a couple of steak knives, a butcher knife, and a spork) Happy Give Day!Kimbley: You're only saying that because it wasn't YOUR face! (gives a bunch of firecrackers and a couple sticks of dynamite) Don't 'splode it all in one place!Scar: Here! (gives a pair of sunglasses) In case you break yours! Don't forget to smile!Lust: (gives nail kit) Keep those deadly things looking pretty!Dante: (gives expensive dress) Uhm...don't trip on the hem?Gluttony: (gives a ticket to all-you-can-eat-buffet) Just don't eat the ticket!Envy: I don't have anything to give you...hmm...but I do have a question! Why're people asking you to crochet them blankets?? Have you taken up old lady hobbies in your spare time, or something?Anyone: Want a whole bunch of balloons?ZILO'S STUFFTo Winry: No problem. Keep up the good mechanic work (thumbs upTo Envy: I'll bet. My sister drew you in regular pants...it didn't look right. She says you look like that on purpose so people will call you a woman and you have an excuse to kill 'emaccusingly) Is this true?To Lust: Eh, I'll get over it.To the Homunculi: Random bored question. If you had to be locked in a room with one of the other Homuculi for, let's say a month, which one would you prefer the most?To Ed: (about Wrath) Because I'm preparing for trouble and making it double. Duh.To Envy: Another random question. If you had to be locked in a room with one of the Elrics, which would you prefer?That's all for now. Stay in school. Unless you don't go to school, then, don't drink and drive.Zilo's Blue Pen
Roy: Oh, god, not again!
Riza: …Perhaps if you didn't hug him so tightly he'd be able to breathe easier and you wouldn't need the oxygen can? Just a thought.
Barry The Chopper: Woo!
Kimbley: Can I make it explode all over you? (evil grin)
Scar: …Thank you.
Lust: Thanks…
Dante: Of course I won't!
Gluttony: (huuuuuuuuge smile)
Envy: …No reason.
Ed: Actually, in one of the earlier chapters-
Envy: SHUT UP!!!
Ed: -someone asked him what he did in his spare time or something like that-
Envy: I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!
Ed: -and he sarcastically answered, "I crochet blankets, what else?"…Or something like that. And I don't think anyone wants a bunch of balloons, but thanks anyway.
Envy: WHY YOU!!!!!!-
Winry: Thanks
Envy: NO!!! That's just dumb. I'd kill people anyway, I mean, what's stopping me?
Lust: Hmm…good question.
Gluttony: Wrath, cuz he could use his Alchemy to make delicious food!! (drools)
Lust: Maybe Sloth…because we can talk with each other easily.
Greed: Could I have everyone?
Wrath: My mommy!!!!!
Ed: …Uh-huh…
Envy: Hmm…Ed, because if I killed his little brother, he'd probably kill me. This way, I'll just kill him and kill Al later (Al's too pathetic to come after me, even if I killed Ed).
Ed & Al: HEY!!!!
Al: What if we don't go to school and we can't drive?
Yo, I've read some of this, and it's hilarious! I just finished watching the series, so I'm in the mood for a little fun, hehe!! I hope you will update soon!Kay, first question goes to: Ed: Where did you get those tight leather pants? They look so absolutely sexy on you! And who would you rather end up with: Winry or Rose?Roy: Aww, poor baby, you lost an eye during the last episode! And now you look like the Fuhrer! Good grief! Is it a curse or something? That everyone who achieves something in the military has to lose an eyeball and wear that pirate thing? Oh well, I guess it's equivalent exchange, right?Winry: I'm sorry to say this, but your voice sounds so annoying in the English version of the anime. Although, I do give you credits for your looks!Hughes: WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE, YOU BAKA? You were like the best character in the military, well, after Roy.Jean Havoc: stop smoking. You will get lung cancer one of those days.Winry'sdog : how did u get your automail leg?I guess that's all for now update soon! burningSunset
Ed: Um…I don't know…some store. Honestly, they're both really nice and really pretty, but I've known Winry longer. We're closer to each other, and she also doesn't have a kid.
Roy: Hmm…Well the last Fuhrer had an eyepatch, so maybe the new one will, too, eh??
Winry: Um…well, thanks for the second part!
Hughes: How should I know? I guess they just like to kill off all the best characters or something.
Havoc: I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!!!
Den: Arfaarf woof woofarfarf
Winry: A wild dog attacked him. Luckily only his leg was damaged to the point where we had to replace it with automail
Hey, shorty, if you could've, would you have tried to find another way not to be trapped on Earth and still close the Gate and stay in Amestris
Shadow Knight of Oblivion
Ed: Ignoring the "short" comment, of course I would! As long as Al came back, too.
Wow, I actually caught up!!! Yay!!! And it's only 3am!! Amazing!!! You can thank OHSHC for keeping me awake (especially Hikaru, Kaoru and Tamaki, who need to be in my and Lindsay's beds lol sorry, we had a long night on AIM, and besides Haji's sandwich, that's what we talked about lol). Well, now I'm alone on AIM, so I need more AMVs to keep me awake so I won't have to be tortured tomorrow…or today lol by my evil grandma. So I hope you enjoyed this, and please review!