Footnotes

Entry #6: August 26th

I slept very lightly, but not so light that I didn't get any sleep at all. I didn't even hear James come into the dorm at 2 in the morning. When it was about time for breakfast, the sound of his snoring did wake me from my uneasy sleep. I felt dazed when I groggily glanced at my best friend and noticed that he wasn't in his bed. His blankets were still neatly made. But I knew those snores, no doubt about it. Confused, I tried to get out of bed and investigate but I got tangled in my blankets and fell flat on my face on the hardwood floor. Remus laughed and helped me up as he came in the room. Then he looked at the empty bed where the snores where coming from. He let out a small sigh.

"How many times do I have to tell him he could suffocate if he sleeps with the cloak on?" Remus said rolling his eyes and pulling the Invisibility Cloak from out of thin air. Suddenly James appeared, sleeping on the edge of his bed, ready to fall off in seconds. My brain still couldn't figure it out. Remus gave me the cloak and patted my shoulder.

"I don't think you really know how much I hate you Remus Lupin," I said as I dropped the cloak on the floor and began the slow process of getting dressed. Remus laughed and tried to get James to wake up.

"Damn morning people," James groaned as he got off the bed with a little more coaxing from Remus.

"You stole the words from my mouth my good man," I offered as I went downstairs to the common room. I decided I'd let Remus dress James this morning, considering I do it almost every other morning. As I began to leave I heard James observe,

"This isn't the hospital wing." No wonder he never took that stupid cloak off, he's always sleep walking. After Remus got James downstairs, we met with Lily and we went downstairs to eat toast and pretend to care what everyone else said. We ate fast, and then we grabbed some toast and a flask of pumpkin juice to bring to Emma.

"You scared me yesterday Em," I told her as we walked into the Hospital wing. I joking threw a piece of toast at her head. Amazingly, she caught it and took a huge bite out of it. After she had finished off the piece she made her come back.

"No you scared me, right into a fit. Just one look at your face and…." She made a fake look of horror like she was about to puke, or something.

"And to think, I was going to be nice today,"

"Whoa! Hold the phone, Black just said the word 'nice'," Emma joked. For all that had happened yesterday, Emma was in a great mood, and we were glad. She seemed to be her normal self again. Just then Madame Pomfrey came in with David right behind her. We were shooed away (with the exception of James) and sent to wait outside. As the doors closed James and I exchanged looks of worry. Something was up, we could tell.

"I wonder what it could possibly be." Remus said out loud. I was about to make a lame muggle 'it could be lupus' joke, but decided against it. I went to the window and gazed at the students enjoying the nice summer like weather while it lasted. The leaves were starting to turn red and gold and orange, and on this particular Saturday it was very beautiful. But it didn't calm me at all. Every noise around us seemed amplified and time moved sluggishly. That was the longest ten minutes of my life. Then came the second worst moment of my life. It was a sound, a horrible, awful sound of metal hitting the wall, and then the floor. That loud clang wasn't what hurt; it was the high pitched heart throbbing wail that came right after it. Remus and I flinched a little and Lily jumped to her feet and burst through the door to Emma. James came out to tell us what was going on.

"Emma has…….um…Emma has…a couple of…..er….good sized tumors…..in her heart and her brain. The ones in her brain are triggering her epilepsy to get worse. That's why she's had two fits almost in a row when she had gone ten years with out one. The…a… tumors are malignant and there is a chance they could come back….so Emma's going to St. Mungo's to have them removed…she'll be gone about a week," James said forcing to keep strong. He and his sister were very close, and Remus and I both knew how hard this was on him. We both offered our apologies to him, and then we went inside to see Emma. Before I did, I gave James a quick hug. Emma was slumped against Lily's shoulder, crying. Lily too, was crying, but not as hard as Emma was. The toast we had brought was scattered across the floor along with other simple medical instruments left out from this morning. David was sitting across the room, shock on his face, but he wasn't crying. I don't think it was possible for him to cry anymore, now that alcohol had taken over his life. He was done with emotions as far as I could tell. Lily was murmuring something to Emma.

"You aren't.….the one…….mustn't blame yourself…..nothing….with her death. You've…….everything…….live for."

"But…..gets worse……comes back? I might die," Emma said holding back more tears. I could only stand there watching. Remus had joined Lily on the bed and now had Emma scooped up in his arms, gently stroking her hair. James stood next to me.

"Madame Pomfrey says that if she has another fit there's a good chance she won't wake up again. Our medical advancement is far better than muggles, and she thinks that Emma has a really good chance of living the rest of her life without the cancer or the fits. But there's still the chance it could come back," He said as we watched Madame Pomfrey give Emma a potion to help shrink the tumors. James looked at me, and smiled: a real honest to god smile.

"Thanks again,"

"For what?"

"You know what."

"Not really…," I replied still feeling a bit out of place. Emma had calmed down and was talking with Lily and Remus again. David had gone to the window lost in a drunken state. Emma hadn't acknowledged her father's presence yet.

"For being there, it's just…it…it really, and I when I say really I'm not kidding; means a lot to me. Right now, Emma and Baby are the only two things I have that stand for anything anymore," James said joining the small group. I stood there, till Emma made a weak comment about it and, I too, came over. We were there for an hour till we were kicked out. At lunch Peter kept questioning us, but no one felt like answering his questions. We all were still thinking of Emma. After lunch we went to see Emma again. David was gone, but Emma didn't care. She smiled at us when we came in.

"There's my family," She said. "I was wondering when you'd come back before I left." We all climbed on her bed, squished around her. Lily rested her head on Emma's and smiled weakly. Her eyes were still a little red for crying.

"I want you guys to know, that no matter what else may change, you are still my family. For always, and I really mean it."