Back and ready to crack! Wait, that sounded wrong… So does being in your friend's room when you hear someone scream, "LET'S SMOKE SOME BIG ASS POT!" in the kitchen.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own FMA or The Morning After by A Bird a Sparrow ): sigh.

Ed came rushing in the door, holding a humming contraption the size of a clipboard. "Guys, look what I found!" he panted.

Havoc looked him and asked, "What the heck is that?"

Mustang, not looking up from his paperwork, wondered, "Can it do blowjobs?"

A vein popped out of Ed's forehead. "Did you even LOOK at it?" Mustang averted his eyes from his work.

"I see. Do you know what it does?"

Ed shook his head. "I found it on a hill, near a tree. It looked cool so I took it." He set it on Mustang's desk and opened it. "It looks like a portable typewriter!" He pressed a button. It whizzed to life as the screen became bright.

"Ai! Get that thing off of my desk!" Mustang screeched.

"No! I want to see what it does! Hey, what's this?" He pushed a button below the typewriter part, and it made a 'click' sound. "Hmmm, I think this is the 'select' button. Maybe this is how you move it?" he asked, rubbing his finger right above the select button. When he did, it moved in the same direction as a white arrow did. "And this must be a cursor!"

"So what is it?" Mustang rapped his fingers against the oak of his desk impatiently.

"Like I said, I have no idea! But let's use it anyway. Hey, what's this?" He clicked, and the cursor showed something. It was filled with many stories. The entire group, even Hawkeye, inched closer.

", unleash your imagination," Hawkeye read aloud from the top left corner. Everyone's eyes were glued to what Ed was doing. Something caught Roy's eye especially.

"Hey, look! That has my name on it!" He shoves Ed out of the way and clicked on it. It was titled 'Roy Mustang's Love'.

"What? LOVE?" Ed started laughing. "Like you'd fall in love!" He fell on his knees laughing. Roy mumbled something under his breath and took Ed's finding to a corner in the room. He sat on a chair and started to read it.

"What do you think it is?" Havoc whispered.

"Who knows? And why would this thing know about the Colonel?" Fuery wondered. No one kept their eyes off of the man reading in the corner. Suddenly, his eyes widened as he stared. He started shaking.

"Sir?" Hawkeye asked, rushing to his side.

"No!" Mustang shouted. "Don't get near me!" This was unlike him. Usually, he'd be glad that she would come. Hawkeye quickly backed away, but still watched him. Mustang started to whimper.

"… Do you want me to take it back?" Ed asked. Mustang handed to him.

"I'm never reading that again…" Ed took it and set it down on his lap, right in front of the chair. He started reading.

"So, what was it about?" Breda directed to Mustang. He was curled up in the chair, hugging his legs.

"I'm not telling!"

Ed screamed. Everyone stared at him. "What the hell is this?"

"I told you not to read it, pipsqueak!"

"Hey, I just wanted to- Who are you calling PIPSQUEAK?" Hawkeye grabbed the portable typewriter thing from Ed's grasp as the two men started to spit comments at each other.

"Are you gonna read it?" Fuery looked at Hawkeye.

"Of course, it's probably just something they're too immature to take seriously." She picked it up carefully and took it to her desk. She laid it down on the hard, wooden surface and began reading.

"Asshole!"

"At least I'm not short!"

"At least I'm not a bastard!"

"I can come up with better comebacks!"

"Then what was that, the appetizer?"

Falman stepped in between the two, who were literally pulling hair at each other. Mustang even has a bloody lip. "Okay, you guys need to stop. You're getting out of hand." Mustang huffed and sat in his chair, while Ed just got up and neared Hawkeye. She was peering at the screen. Her eyes then widened as she grabbed her gun and almost shot the contraption, before Ed took away her gun.

"No!" he yelled. "I know it's horrible, but don't break that! This could make history!" Hawkeye ignored Ed's plea and got another pistol, shooting the thing until she ran out of ammo. She then dropped the gun and rested her head in her hands.

"Aww, I wanted to read that, too!" Havoc complained, but he quickly changed his mind with the glare Lieutenant Hawkeye gave him.

"So… What was it about?" Fuery asked. Ed looked at Mustang, and then Hawkeye. He quietly whispered the answer in his ear. Fuery's eyes widened and his cheeks rose in heat. "W… What?"

"You told him?" Mustang squeaked.

"Um, well, he asked…" Ed stared at his boot.

"Ooh, can I know?" Havoc asked excitedly.

"NO!" everyone that knew about it shouted.

"Well…"

Mustang got up from his seat. "I'm going to… go to the bathroom." He left.

"I need to hand in some paperwork." So did Hawkeye.

"I, uh, ran out of coffee!" Fuery took his obviously full mug and ran out of the room. Seeing as Ed was the only one who knew that was left in the room, Havoc, Falman, and Breda stared at him.

"So? You told Fuery!"

"Well, I, um…" Ed bit his lip, nervous. Ed was never nervous.

"Oh, come on!" Havoc threw his hands in the air. "Let us know!"

Ed shook his head and ran out of the room. Havoc sighed and went toward the thing everyone had read it from. He pushed a button, and nothing happened. "Aww, looks like it's broken."

"Now how are we gonna find out?"

"Fuery'll probably tell it if we blackmail him…" Havoc stroked his chin with a thumb and index finger.

"But how?"

"That's the question…"

Haha, there you go! You can imagine what you think they read on fanfiction. Of course, only my thought would technically make it real. XD That makes me feel powerful… Oh, and if you couldn't figure it out, it was a laptop Ed found. It's only around 1916 or around there, so laptops hadn't been invented yet. :)

R/R!