Ðł₰ϾŁἇłMἕR : " I dont own gakuen alice only Higuchi Tachibana own it, but I own my fiction. "

Odd romance

Title : I wonder

Summary : I always wondered why my heart was beating so fast around you, why I find myself blushing at the mere thoughts of you, why you became so much for me and how you healed My soul. [Natsume's POV ]

Enjoy.

I always watched you, always, and every day, I see all your expressions. Happy, excited, angry, embarrassed, shy, mesmerized, confused...

I know them all, there all graved in my heart. And yet, I never get enough.

You're so close that I could grab you and get us away from this place… Away from this hell. And yet… You're so far.

But then again, it's my fault as well. And I should be ashamed of myself.

I treat you so badly. I tease you, make fun of you. I embarrass you and I always act cold around you. But when I see that sad look on your face whenever I do such things, I regret it. But I keep doing it anyway.

Why?

Because, like this, you see me. You talk to me, And my heart seem to need it every day.

And I keep thinking, "How can you love me?"

How can you love someone like me? I'm an assassin, a murderer; someone that fate hate. I'm a monster that the school likes to use. I hate this place but deep down, I can't help but like it sometime. Because, you're here and everywhere you are, my heart would be.

And I wonder, "How can you be so happy? How can you found happiness in this place?"

Then, I figured it out.

You share memories with your friend, you see things that no one even dared to see, you know the good point in life and you treasure it. You don't want people to see the pain in your eyes. And, sometimes I see this smile. This fake smile that you make every time your sad. And me, all I can do is to tease you to let you forget these sad things that you thought about. But deep down I want to hold you and make you reassured.

I'm pathetic.

And yet… I love you. So much that it hurt. But, it can't be healed right? My heart and my soul are broken. Broken because of those damn missions. Who want someone like me? I'm completely shattered...

Mikan, do you hear my heart calling for you? I need your warm hand to heal me, I need your smile to bring me to light, I need your love to keep living.

I need you.

And sometime I wonder, "How can I claim myself your boyfriend?"

And when I open my eyes, I see you, sleeping beside me under the sakura tree and I stop thinking. Stop breathing. And I let my finger touch your face. Gently, as if you can die like a flower if I hold on you too much, I caress your cheek. Stroke your auburn hair and I sat up, leaning toward your red lips.

Red, like the cherry blossoms that always covered the ground in the spring, and every time I would look at it with sad eyes. My life would float on the wind just like the sakura petals.

I kissed you carefully, to not wake you up and closed my eyes again.

And then I wonder again, "Now that you're no longer far away, will you take care of my heart despite his wounds?"

He couldn't understand why he had pushed her away in the first place, and why he was now there, suddenly, bringing back memories that were better left in the past. He couldn't understand why he was crying. If even just a little.

And suddenly, it didn't matter anymore, because through all of his confusion, and all of those tears, Natsume realized that Mikan was crying too.

"I don't know why." Natsume's voice was soft, broken, and Mikan was surprised, because it's the first time she sees him like this.

"Maybe, my feeling for you saved me. Because, even after all these years, they're still the same."

And Mikan smiled at that, her vision still distorted with tears as she leaned forward him, closing the short distance between them and pressing her lips softly against Natsume's, whispering into his mouth, "I love you too." And Natsume kissed her.

It was a short kiss, deep and comforting, but to Natsume it was so much more. So much that he can't even compare it. And when they broke apart, Mikan turned her gaze downwards, a grin spreading across her features as she caught sight of a small red petal lying at their feet. She knelt slowly and picked it up, and held it out for Natsume to see. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Natsume smiled a little smile. "Yeah, it is"

As he look at her, he wondered, "How deep are my feelings for you? Maybe, they are immesurables."