A/N: So, if you didn't see my note in the last chapter, Jace says the last two words at the end of the chapter. MortalFire101, you asked this question but i couldn't reply to your anonymous review :) so there you go, and thank you!

to other anons: Gabby and glassw, thank you for reviewing!

Now, on to the story...

Chapter 16

Clary fixed her disbelieving gaze on Jace. His expression exuded fear, guilt.

Scared to admit his feelings, Clary thought derisively. Or scared to hurt mine. She wrenched her arm from his grip and stomped down the stairs.

Isabelle was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, an apologetic look on her face. "Clary-I'm sorry, I tried to stop him-"

"Not now, Izzy." Clary said shortly, stalking past her to the front room. She grabbed her coat and boots, pulling them on as quickly as she could.

"Are you leaving?" Isabelle asked subduedly.

"Yes," Clary responded briefly.

"I'm coming with you," Isabelle said. She ran into the other room, and Clary heard her say, "Alec, entertain these people. I'll be right back."

Isabelle came back with a velvet blue overcoat wrapped around her. She opened the door and shivered.

"Damn, it's cold. Are you sure you want to walk? I can ask Alec to drive you-"

"No, I want to walk. You don't have to come, Izzy."

"No. I'm coming with you."

Clary didn't bother arguing with Isabelle; Isabelle stubborn was worse than Clary at her angriest.

The girls hunched against the cold as they began walking. Isabelle clearly seemed uncomfortable with the silence and was barely keeping in the inevitable flow of questions. Clary waited a whole minute before finally sighing and saying, "Go ahead, ask."

Isabelle immediately began, "I'm sorry I couldn't stop him, Clary. He just walked past me."

"It's fine, Izzy. I don't blame you."

"Ok, that's good. So, how did all that sexual tension finally blow up?"

"Sexual tension?" Clary spluttered. "We didn't-what are you talking about?"

"I'm asking the questions here," Isabelle reminded smugly. "And besides, it was completely obvious."

"Do you think Sebastian noticed?" Clary asked anxiously.

"No, I doubt it. But anyway, what happened?"

Clary sighed. "It just-I don't know. He annoys me so much, and he kept acting like he was perfect and that nothing he did was wrong, and I just got angrier and angrier. And then I accidentally said that Aline had said something, and he kept saying that whatever she said couldn't be true. And then I got really mad and I- uh, I asked him if Aline was lying about him loving me."

Isabelle's silence caused Clary to glance at her. Isabelle's mouth was open in an expression of complete amazement.

"What?" Clary asked, irritation creeping into her voice.

"I'm so proud of you!" Isabelle squealed.

"Uh, why?" Clary asked, shivering again from the cold.

"You actually stood up for yourself to Jace. This is good. Now you won't have to deal with him anymore!" Isabelle stopped, then looked closely at Clary. "You're still not happy, though. I thought you would be; I mean, you got everything off your chest, right?"

"Well, he didn't actually say whether he loved me or not," Clary mumbled.

Isabelle was silent, then replied softly, "Oh, darling. Is that what you're worried about?"

Clary didn't answer. Mortification stained her cheeks red, despite the biting cold.

Isabelle wrapped one arm around Clary's shoulders. "Clary, you shouldn't care about what Jace thinks. I mean, you have Sebastian to love you. And me, and Simon, and your mom, and everyone else."

"I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. The thing is, he seemed so scared to say it. That he loved me. Or didn't love me. I don't know. But he shouldn't have been scared-of hurting my feelings, at least. I'd just been a total bitch to him. Why did he care?"

"Maybe he does love you."

"No!" Clary cried. "He can't. He-he just can't."

"Aline did say he did."

"She has to be wrong. She has to."

"Why?" Isabelle asked gently.

"Because-" Clary stopped and leaned against the tree in her front yard. "He'll hurt Sebastian and me."

"How would he do that?" Isabelle asked patiently.

"I can't have him in love with me. It makes everything too difficult-ignoring him, pretending I don't feel anything for him!" Clary looked down at her feet, her face flushing further in embarrassment at the admission.

Isabelle took two steps and grabbed Clary in a bear hug. "Oh, Clary. It'll be all right."

"How?" Clary sniffed, tears brimming behind her eyes.

"You won't lose Sebastian because some prick is in love with you. This is going to happen all the time to you-you're too lovable. Besides, I'll kick Jace's ass if he does anything."

Clary smiled and tucked her head against Isabelle's shoulder. "I know you will. And thank you, Iz. Even though everything you said is completely false, it still made me feel better."

Isabelle grinned. "I'm good at this, aren't I?"

Clary laughed through the lump in her throat. "Yes, you are. See you, Isabelle. Sorry for ruining your party."

"You didn't ruin anything, Clary. Get your butt out of the cold now."

Clary smiled at that as she unlocked the door and slipped inside.

Clary thanked her lucky stars that she was freed from seeing Jace for another two weeks. She felt too embarrassed to face him for a long while.

She had acted angrily to cover her insecurity over her relationship with Sebastian. And she had taken it out on Jace, the reason for her instability.

That didn't change the fact that Jace had indeed acted strangely. He had begun arrogant and sure of himself, then slowly withdrawn till he was practically ignoring her. Clary was pretty sure that Aline was deluded; did any guy in love act like that?

But if he wasn't in love with her, why didn't he just say so? It would have made everything so much simpler. Instead, he had given a non-answer.

Jace was full of contradictions. And Clary was completely exasperated with his fluctuating behavior.

I wish he had just said he didn't love me. But even the thought was unsure.

Do you really wish that? she asked herself.

I wouldn't have been offended. Yet again, the protest was weak. Clary sighed.

She couldn't make a decision. And this was going to bother her till she got an answer.

Suddenly, two weeks seemed like a long time to wait.

Isabelle called the day after the party. "Clary?"

"Hey, Izzy," Clary said, trying to make her voice as happy as possible.

"Are you okay?"

"Do I sound not okay?"

"Yeah."

Clary frowned. "How do you always know?"

"Cause you're really bad at lying, even over the phone."

"You've mentioned that."

"Yes, I have. But anyway, what's wrong? Is there anything I can do?"

"No, I'm just really embarrassed. I mean, I had a tantrum in front of all our friends."

"And Aline," Isabelle added.

"Yes. And Aline."

"Alright, well, I'll be making you some cookies, and hopefully you'll feel better after that."

"No, no, that's alright," Clary said hastily at the thought of Isabelle's cooking. "Actually, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Should I, uh, apologize to Jace?"

There was a pause on the other end. Clary waited for the answer anxiously.

"Um, why would you want to do that?" Isabelle asked slowly.

"I guess I feel bad for yelling at him."

"You shouldn't feel bad. He had it coming."

"Yes, but I shouldn't have been so harsh. I mean, I know he's a stuck up jerk, but I didn't just accuse him of that."

"Is that really all?" Isabelle's tone was skeptical.

Clary hesitated. "Um, no."

"Spill." Isabelle left no room to object.

"I-I just keep wondering about what he would have said. Whether he loved me or not."

"Clary. I told you not to worry about that. Since when have you cared whether people like you or not?"

"I don't care about people, in general. Just Jace, right now," Clary said petulantly.

A sigh echoed over the line. "Fine. If it's what you really want. But I'm telling you, just save yourself some humiliation and don't grovel to guys. They really don't deserve it."

"I'm not going to grovel, Izzy. But thank you for your support."

"I'll always support you, Clary. You're my best friend."

"I'll see you later then, Izzy."

"Bye, Clary," Isabelle said before hanging up.

Clary tucked the phone in her jeans pocket before jumping up and grabbing a parka, heading to the door. She put her hand on the doorknob.

"Clary? Where are you going?" Jocelyn asked, coming into the front hall.

Clary paused. In her second of indecision, she imagined herself knocking on Jace's door and apologizing.

"Uh, nowhere, Mom. I just left something outside," Clary said quickly.

"Oh, alright. Be quick, it's cold," Jocelyn warned, heading to her studio.

"Sure, Mom." Clary started to open the door, but her imagination played a scene of Jace rejecting her. She also realized that she had no idea where Jace lived.

Another day, then. Clary crept back to her room in relief.

Clary called Isabelle the next day. "Izzy, do you know where Jace lives?"

"Seriously? Why would I know?"

"I don't know why you would know. But I didn't have anyone else to ask."

"I can ask Alec. One moment."

Clary winced as Isabelle yelled, "Alec!"

Clary heard a faint, "What do you want, Izzy?"

"Where does Jace live?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"None of your business."

Some shuffling, then Isabelle said into the phone, "One moment."

A minute later, she came back. "Alec doesn't have his exact address, but he thinks that he lives on the block opposite the school. He has his number, though. I'll text it to you."

"Alright, thanks Izzy."

"No problem, Clary. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah. I think I have to."

"You don't have to do anything, Clary. Call me afterwards, okay?"

"Sure, Izzy. Bye."

A few seconds afterward, Clary's phone buzzed again. Isabelle's text with Jace's number popped up on the display.

Clary typed in the number, but her finger hovered over the call button.

I can't take it back if I call him.

She summoned her courage and pressed the key. Her heart began to race.

She lifted the phone to her ear and waited. The line rang once, twice. Three times. Four times.

Clary's heart slowed. He's not going to pick up.

"Hello?"

Crap.

"Um...is anyone there?" Jace's voice was irritated. "I'm going to hang up now. Magnus, if this is you-"

"No, sorry. It's Clary."

A pause. "Oh."

Clary cringed. "Um, sorry to bother you, but can we talk?"

"Like, now?" Jace's voice was clipped.

"Um, I'd rather do this in person. Can we meet?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Alright, so should I come over-"

"No, don't," Jace said quickly.

Clary winced again at his tone. "Okay, then the bridge behind the school?"

"Okay. Now?"

"Yes, if that's okay." Clary began to bite her nails.

"Alright. See you, Clary." Jace hung up.

Clary sat on her bed, paralyzed. Oh, god. Why did I say in person? Oh no, oh no, oh no.

No, it'll be good for you. I think.

Clary's mind went through every curse word she knew before she could move.

"Okay, okay," Clary whispered to herself. "Calm.

She dressed warmly; the bridge was only a short walk away, but she didn't want to freeze during that time. Her boots warmed her feet as she headed out, hands in her coat pockets.

On the east side of the school, a path ran parallel to a fence that bordered the school property and wound its way up a shallow slope to a bridge that crossed the highway.

The painted white metal, sprinkled with dew, glistened in the cold winter sunlight. Clary walked towards the solitary figure leaning against the side at the apex of the bridge. His golden hair gleamed warmly under the rays of the sun.

Clary placed her gloved hands on the railing of the bridge next to Jace. She didn't speak, just gazed out at the view of green hills shrouded by gray and white fog.

Jace turned his head to face her. "Clary?"

Clary's heart beat quickly, loud in her ears. "I'm sorry," she said quickly.

"For what?"

"I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"You didn't yell at me."

"Yes, I did. At the party."

"But you had a reason."

"No, I didn't. I was just taking out my frustration with everything on you."

"No, I was a jerk to you. I know I was. I just-"

Clary interrupted him with a glare. "Why are you making it so hard to apologize to you?"

One corner of Jace's mouth turned up. "Sorry. I accept your apology for being a bitch, and I don't care."

Clary rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but smile. Jace's warm golden eyes fixed on her face, and he smiled, too.

His heart-wrenching, beautiful face almost stopped her heart. Clary swallowed and looked away.

"Clary-I'm really sorry, too." Jace's voice was soft as an angel.

"Why?"

"I did try to ignore you. And I'm an arrogant bastard."

Clary scanned his face as her heart plummeted. "You were ignoring me?"

"Trying to."

"That's the same thing, Jace." Clary's words were flat.

"No-I can explain."

"Why don't you, then?"

Jace's eyes bored into hers. "I couldn't talk to you. It was too hard to."

"Why would it be hard to talk to me? Am I that repulsive?" Clary cut in.

"No, let me finish. I couldn't talk to you because after a while, I would start thinking about how to keep you talking forever just so I could hear your voice. If I looked at you, I couldn't concentrate on anything but your eyes. I tried to stay away from you, because what you do to me-I've never felt it before. And I was scared." Jace's lashes brushed his cheeks as he looked down.

"I don't want you to hate me. And it seemed like you did. That's why I came up to talk to you at the party-I thought I could make everything better. And I just made it worse. I just-I put up a wall when people yell at me, so I won't get hurt. But this time it hurt you too. And I'm so, so, sorry, Clary."

Clary appraised Jace's face. The sadness and worry in his eyes was reflected in his hands, clenched around the railing only a foot away, and the slight pout to his lips.

She had so many questions- why would he need a wall? Had he been hurt by people often? If he felt this way, why would he hold back?

But instead she said, "You never said."

Jace looked surprised. "Said what?"

"You never said if you loved me or not."

Jace's whole body relaxed, and his features softened. "What do you think?"

Clary forgot about Sebastian, about Aline being right, what Isabelle would say, as Jace's hand came up to touch her cheek. He wasn't wearing gloves, though it was bitterly cold, and she jumped from the frigid contact.

"I'm sorry," Jace said swiftly.

"Stop apologizing," Clary whispered.

The gold in his eyes deepened. Jace bent his head towards her, sliding his hand to her shoulder, down her arm, taking hold of her hand. He never broke eye contact as he slipped off the glove, caressing the palm as it was exposed. Clary trembled.

Her hand slipped inside his much larger grasp, and she curled her fingers around his. Their noses were almost touching, and Clary could feel his warm breath on her own mouth.

Too close! her mind screamed, at the same time insisting, not close enough.

The caress of his lips against the corner of her mouth sent rational thought out of Clary's mind. Her free hand came around his shoulder and pulled him closer. Jace moaned softly, letting go of her hand and embracing her fully.

Clary couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Her lips parted slightly as she closed her eyes. Jace gently brushed his lips against hers, then pressed his lips harder against hers. She wound her fingers into his fine golden hair, softer than anything she had ever felt before.

Jace sucked in a breath and pulled away abruptly. Clary's eyes flew open. The panic she had seen before on the night of the party had engulfed Jace's eyes.

"I'm sorry-I shouldn't have done that," Jace said frantically.

The weight of what she had just done crashed down all at once on Clary, but she managed to say, "What did I say about apologizing?"

Jace's responding smile was weak, overshadowed by the fear in his eyes. He bent down and picked up her glove, handed it to her.

"I have to go. I'm sorry, Clary," Jace said yet again as he backed up and walked, nearly ran away.

Clary stood paralyzed on the bridge, a glove in her limp hand and her lips still burning from the intensity of Jace's fleeting, wonderful kiss.

A/N: Whew, that was longer than expected. Enjoy this, readers, because I can't guarantee an update till this weekend.

Thank you for reading and please review!

~Sami