The characters don't belong to me but to the creators of CSI NY tv series.

Thanks again to Lily Moonlight for being the good friend who does the corrections.

I Can't Say Goodbye

Chapter 7

Mac went straight to the kitchen, putting down the bags he had brought on the table. As if in his own home, he began to seek out dishes and glasses. There was a bottle of champagne in one of the bags, which he placed in the refrigerator. Turning, he saw Stella watching him from the door.

"The champagne has to be drunk cold, Madame," he slurred.

"Mac, I don't feel like drinking champagne right now, and I think you've already had enough drinks today. It would be better if you left"

"You don't need to get hard..." His laughter interrupted his own speech, and he muttered to himself. "I'm getting hard enough myself..." He tried to regain control, he was very cheerful, but he realized that Stella's mood wasn't the same, although she had drunk a lot too. He approached her. "Forgive me, Stel, really, forgive me for everything I said, I'm q-q-quite an idiot, you already know. If you want I'll get on my knees..." He kneeled in a sudden and dramatic gesture and Stella thought he might have hurt himself. She pulled back a bit, but he embraced her hips, pulling her toward him. He rested his face in her belly, and Stella had to restrain herself from stroking his hair.

"Enough of this bullshit, Mac! This isn't funny, get up!" But he was embracing her below the waist, now sighing with his chin almost on her sex. His breathing was leading her into sensations that Stella had longed for him to produce her.

"You look lovely in this dress, you are so beautiful..." He dragged out the words. "I wanted to punch the men in that club because they didn't stop looking at you. But everyone always looks at you... That's hardly surprising, because you're the most beautiful woman in this city and this country and this entire world... and even the other if it exists." Laughter attacked him again with his own idea, it was clear he didn't have full command of his thought or his speech.

Stella grabbed his arms, urging him to get up. Surprisingly, he did so without difficulty. His fitness was certainly helping him.

"But first thing is dinner, because it's your birthday and we have to have dinner together," Mac insisted. "Me being a jerk isn't a reason to break the tradition, because I always was an idiot, that's nothing new." Very determined, he went to the table and emptied the contents of the bags on the dishes. Small containers of Chinese food fell out of order, face up, face down, down to the floor... Stella bent down to pick two of them up. When Mac looked at her, the view of her cleavage made him snort...

"My God... Thank you for giving me such a good sight! And for putting in front of my eyes such beauty!" Laughter aroused him again, while at the same time, Stella didn't know what to do, whether to just get angrier or finally have dinner and hope the food would lower the alcohol level in their bodies...

She chose the latter. She took a tablecloth, napkins and cutlery and went to the small dining table in a corner of her living room, where she arranged it all. Mac came with the dishes and they sat down. For a while, they ate in silence. Mac got up and before Stella could stop him, he had taken the bottle of champagne from the fridge and had opened it. He poured half of it over the tablecloth, but he finally managed to fill the glasses.

"Mac, that's all we needed now, adding champagne to the whiskey we've already taken. We should stop..."

"I want to offer a toast and I have to do it properly..." He stood up, now very serious.

"To the woman in my life, the only woman in my life, Stella Bonasera." Now he was looking at her intently, causing her to blush. She couldn't resist his piercing eyes and she closed hers while taking a sip of champagne. The next thing she felt when she removed the cup was being raised from the chair and immediately Mac's mouth was on hers, his soft and supple lips flavoured with champagne and his tongue making its way between her lips. The shock left her paralyzed, and when she wanted to react and move away, he pressed her further. For a moment Stella wanted to resist, but then she surrendered to what she was feeling. It wasn't the way she had dreamed of kissing Mac for the first time, but his tongue inside her mouth was burning every last pore of her skin. She could not help sighing, still in full kiss, and her hands rose to Mac's hair, sliding down his neck. He sighed too as he withdrew a bit to allow them to breathe. He rested his forehead on Stella's temple.

"You wanted me to go?"

"I think it would be better..." Mac didn't let her finish, attacking her mouth again with more energy and passion than before, if that was possible. He pressed her against him so they could feel each part of their bodies, one into the other. Stella realized that if they continued, there was no turning back. There wasn't already, in fact. She felt Mac's hardness pressed against her and that made her legs shake. Mac's hands were not idle either. One of them pressed Stella against him almost to embed her in his body, the other sought and found the end of her dress' zipper and he undid it. Stella had not even noticed until she felt the dress sliding over her shoulders and down to her arms and hips when Mac suddenly turned away from her to help the garment to fall. She suddenly felt embarrassed. This wasn't how she wanted it, not when Mac was drunk and she hardly in control of her acts either. This should have been a sweet and romantic moment, with them both fully aware of what they were doing.

"Mac, don't..." But he didn't listen to her, he was kissing her again while working on the clasp of her bra, which gave him no problem. Suddenly, he was kissing her bare breasts, lowering his hand until losing it within the lace between her thighs.

"Don't say no when all of you is saying yes..." Her nipples were hard and erect, and she could feel his fingers confirming his words, immersed in her moisture... She abandoned herself to the pleasure he was giving her, to the accumulated desire, to the sweetness of his skin in her lips... How could he taste so well, smell so good, make her feel so damn good, that man whom she shouldn't forgive, or at least not so soon after the way he had hurt her?

She didn't remember how they had come to her bed, but they were there, hours later, he completely asleep, lying on his back, legs and arms outstretched, offering in sight everything a man's body can offer. She had just woken up, lying face down and using Mac's shoulder as a pillow, her face buried in it.

Surely it was a mistake, but she would probably never enjoy so much a mistake. She ran her eyes over Mac. For a man of his age, he was in incredible form. And the drinking didn't seem to have affected in the least his sexual vigor. The sight of his cock, now at rest, caused her some sweet tickling between her legs, remembering the pleasure it had given her, naughty, big and... tireless. Who would have thought that the serious and taciturn Mac Taylor would be capable of such deployment... and in diminished conditions because of the alcohol. Stella didn't want to think about how the thing would be in the optimal way... The thought was causing a throb down in her core, with a natural increase of the moisture in the area...

God, now what? she suddenly thought. They hadn't spoken about her departure yet, even though it had no turning back. Would they be able to act in the best possible way to assume this undeniable change in their relationship or it was going to mean nothing but the hot fun of a night of drinking? She wanted this to last forever, that's what she always had wanted, but right now... How would she combine it with her new commitments? How would Mac react when she told him it? And how the hell was she going to tell him?

"Listen, Mac, by the way, I forgot to tell you I'm leaving the Lab andNew York, I'm going toEuropefor six months and then straight toNew Orleansbecause it is a unique opportunity to develop my career."

Stella's head seemed about to explode, thanks mostly to the monumental hangover, but also to the accumulation of dire thoughts about her future as a couple and the uncertainty about how to face it. She didn't want to leave Mac, but on the other side this could surely be her last chance in life to do something truly successful, to achieve the goals she had set as a young girl, to accomplish things for herself and by her quality as a professional, something that had only been recognized so far on a much more modest level, and always under Mac Taylor's protective hand. This Mac Taylor who had been her protector but also her ceiling and her curb...

Mac sighed, Stella's curls moving to look at him were tickling him in the neck. He mumbled something unintelligible, even deeply asleep, and placed his hand on her waist, caressing and mumbling something else. Stella looked at him curiously, she didn't know he spoke in dreams. After another deep breath, as if he were fully satisfied, as a man who had enjoyed a full and intense sexual relationship, which was exactly what he had done, Mac murmured, this time with perfectly understandable words:

"I missed you, Claire"

To be continued...