Port-Ed Chapter 2
Created by rcmero
Heavily edited by Yoshermon
Edd stumbled as he went through the door. He hadn't noticed until then that he'd been walking on his toes without any shoes or socks since he woke up. He looked down and saw a flat metal bar protruding from each of his his pant legs, curving under his heels and forcing him on his toes.
He pulled the leg of his orange jumpsuit up and saw the bars were attached to metal bands connected to Edd's knees. He fiddled with it for a while and found there was no way to get it off; pulling on it in any direction felt like Edd was pulling on his knee directly.
"Is this.....good lord! They never said anything about knee implants!" he shouted to no-one. He felt sore in the knees when he woke up but he was to dumbfounded by the discovery of portals to take notice of the surgical implants. Walking was a bit strange but his knees were well supported by the bars under his feet and Edd would feel a delightful springing action help lift each foot up for the next step.
Edd went onward through the circular door to find someone to talk to, but what he found was a button. A very large, red button was sitting on the ground in the room in front of him. Edd cautiously walked onto it and felt the button press down under his weight. Another circular door in the room opened up and a screen next to it displayed a large checkmark. When Edd stepped off of the button to get to the door, it immediately closed and the check mark turned into an X. Just then he heard a thud. Near the door was a large, metal box about a meter in length. Above it was a circular tube going into the ceiling with a hatch covering up the end. Edd could see another cube falling down on top of the hatch in the tube. Edd picked up the box--more accurately, he dragged it along the floor because of how heavy it was--and placed it on top of the button. The door opened once again and Edd went through.
- Excellent. Please proceed to the chamber lock after completing each test. First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the chamber lock. This particle field will vaporize any unauthorized materials - for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube.
Edd looked in front of him to see the incandescent particle field in front of a spherical elevator. The field had hundreds of glowing blue particles zipping between two protrusions from the the short hallway in front of the elevator. Edd felt a tingle surge through his body as he passed through it and entered the elevator. The door closed and Edd stumbled as a sudden jerking motion signaled he was going upward.
"Fine! Throw us off! When I get rich and famous you'll never work in this town again!" Eddy screamed as the bus sped off. In his excitement to ruin Edd's fun he had forgotten that buses require money.
"Well Ed, I guess you're walkin'." Eddy said as he hopped up on Ed's shoulder. He pointed the way and Ed ran down the sidewalk towards the Enrichment Center.
Edd was making quick progress through the tests. Once the elevator stopped, he found himself on a ledge a meter and a half off of the ground. There were no stairs or a ladder to be seen. Edd crept up to it intending to climb down slowly but instead his foot slipped and he fell feet first onto the ground below. Strangely though, the usual jolt of pain sent up Edd's legs when he fell any distance was gone. The delightful springing sensation that helped Edd walk also acted as a shock absorber, Edd figured.
He looked at the room he was in. He in one of four rooms completely sealed off from each other by glass walls. Only the concrete strip with the slight protrusions on either side indicating a portal will appear were found in either room. In the room Edd was in, an orange portal occupied the strip as the portal openings in the other rooms took turns opening a blue portal.
"Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 1500 megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-colliding Super-button."
Edd, seeing a so-called Weighted Storage Cube in one room, the Super-colliding Super-button (which was just like the button in the previous room) in another and a door in the last room, he immediately knew what to do. When the room with the cube opened up a blue portal,
Edd quickly ran through it and took the cube back into the starting room (well, he had to wait until the portal reappeared since he couldn't actually lift the cube). He waited for the blue portal to open up in the button room and quickly (once again dragging the heavy box) set it on the button.
"Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber-lock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test."
Edd raised an eyebrow at the strangeness of the sudden comment, but just ignored it and focused on the task at hand.
Going back to the starting room again, the blue portal opened up in the door room and Edd quickly dashed through the orange one to get there.
The door was open and Edd casually passed through.
After another elevator ride, Edd found himself in a room with a large pane of glass overlooking the test chamber in front of him. In the center of the room, Edd saw a thin pedestal holding up a strange, gun-like device. It turned 90 degrees and shot a fast, blue orb-shaped energy that turned into a blue portal upon contact with the wall. Edd saw it turn again and shoot another blue portal, the previous one disappearing.
"You're doing very well. Please be advised that a noticable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."
Edd was starting to get annoyed at the strange and somewhat disturbing comments the computer was making, but there was nothing he could do about them. The door leading into the chamber opened up and Edd picked the gun up off of the pedestal.
"This must be the invention Aperture wanted me to try out."