Chapter 3
"Here Ed, heeeere Ed, come on boy!" Eddy joked impatiently as he looked around the block to find his friend. "Stupid tree branch," he muttered to himself as he walked down the sidewalk. He walked forward until he found Ed, standing still with his head cocked upwards. "There ya are, Lumpy! What're ya--"
"A-per-t-ture Science," Ed stuttered as he tried to make out the words on the sign pointing north.
"What?" Eddy said as he squinted, having trouble reading the large word for himself.
"Double-D!!" Ed shouted as he remembered Edd was there. He grabbed Eddy by his hairs (painfully) and they ran down the road the large building ahead. They scurried under the parking lot's toll booth arm--the small hut holding the arm ominously quiet--and ran down the parking lot to the large building in ahead.
"Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals."
Edd couldn't find the words to describe his excitement other the discovery of the device. It resembled a strange gun with three thick cords going down the tube that marked the barrel for the device. Near the end of the tube were three prong-like protrusions that extended a little past the end of the gun. The end of the barrel glowed a healthy blue as Edd held it. It was a little heavy--Edd had to support it with one hand while holding the trigger with the other--but it fit over his right hand almost like a glove. Inside, Edd felt a thin bar where he could wrap his fingers around and a ring to slip his thumb through. On the bar he could feel a place that could be pressed down. A sudden burst nearly knocked Edd over as the device shot a blue circular energy at the floor. Upon collision a blue portal opened up on the ground.
These inter-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you-"
Once again, a few sparks from the ceiling and static were all that came after. Edd was a little shocked, not knowing what he should under no circumstances do to his gun or what will happen if he does do it. Whatever it is.
Edd noticed an orange portal on the wall of a higher platform. He looked at the blue portal he made on the ground.
"Is this....I wonder....." he said to himself as he walked up to the interdimensional gateway. He had gotten used to trying new things out despite the risk they might pose. He jumped feet first into the portal and felt a sudden wave of nausea wash over him as gravity turned 90 degrees. He landed backside-first on the floor with a soft "plop".
"That's going to take some getting used to," he said as he looked back into the orange portal. He could see the ceiling through it and decided to go back through. He ran towards the orange portal and felt another sickening feeling of gravity changing around him. He rose above the blue portal a few feet, then fell back down thrusting him back through the orange portal and off of the platform. Luckily, he reoriented himself at the last second and landed on his feet, his implants or "heel springs" as he decided to call them, breaking his fall.
"Amazing! Momentum must be conserved when passing through these things!" he shouted to himself. The excitement of scientific discovery, pleasant as it was, didn't mix very well with the confusion of the whole trial and the frustration over the strange remarks of the computerized voice. Wanting to test the device out more, Edd gave himself a few minutes of target practice with the Handheld Portal Device and made his way the next part of the room.
"Please proceed to the chamber-lock. Mind the gap."
Edd smiled uncharacteristically as he saw what was ahead of him. A large gap in the floor too long to jump separated Edd from the next platform, which had an orange portal on the wall above it. Edd shot a blue portal on the wall (preferring portals on the wall over floor portals giving him that sickly change of gravity) and cleared the gap without even going near it. Shooting a blue portal on the wall near the chamber exit, he cleared the next gap as easily as the first. As he walked through the Emancipation Grille, he felt the usual tingle wash over him but his Portal Device shook a little as well. Edd noticed the blue portal he had placed disappear.
"Well done. Remember, the Aperture Science 'Bring your son to work' day is the perfect time to have him tested."
Edd simply ignored the remark--it wasn't the first strange thing the computer said during the course of the test. And his father didn't work at Aperture Science an way.
Edd was going through the tests quickly--solving puzzles with Weighted Storage Cubes and Super-Colliding Super-Buttons was easy with the Portal Device. Edd quickly found out that pulling down on the thumb ring of the device would trigger the three prongs, causing them to suspend whatever is near them in midair in front of the device. Edd used this anti-gravity mechanism to lift up the cubes with ease. After a few test chambers, he got to chamber 06.
"While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High-Energy Pellets seen to the left of the chamber can and have caused permanent disabilities, such as vapourisation. Please be careful."
Edd had grown accustomed to the strange words of the computerized voice and rarely heeded them. That is, until he was nearly vaporized. His attention had been focused on an orange portal in the floor. Without a blue counterpart, the inside of the portal was filled in with an orange light that fluctuated slightly like the rim. However, something coming from the ceiling and bouncing off of the portal brought Edd abruptly to his senses as he looked up. Coming from a strange mechanism on the ceiling, what appeared to be a green ball of pure energy was bouncing between the end of the mechanism and the solid orange portal on the floor.
"I guess touching it means game over." Edd said to himself as he looked around the room. Directly next to the orange portal was another mechanism that looked like some sort of catchment. Edd went on a hunch and opened a blue portal on the ceiling above it, watching the High Energy Pellet fall through the floor and out of the blue portal. It landed in the catchment and Edd stood back as the middle started buzzing with energy. A platform at the end of the room rose up a little, leading to the edge containing then exit to the chamber.
"No one ever told me these tests would be dangerous!" he muttered angrily as he headed to the next test.
"Unbelievable. You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here]!"
Edd once again ignored the strange remark. After completing the seventh test chamber, he noticed a pane of glass high up in the room that was rippled so he couldn't see clearly inside it. However, Edd could make out the blurry appearance of chairs and desks, but no spectators observing him.
"I do not like where this is going," he whispered to himself. "Not at all."
"So this is where Double-D is?" Eddy shouted as he looked around. The front entrance of the building led to a large room with a service desk in the center. Everything was white as snow and looked as if it was sterilized twice a day--as if it was run by Double-Ds, in Ed's terms. Eddy walked up to the desk but saw no one behind it.
"Hello? Anybody here?" he shouted.
"Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. My name is GLaDOS. We are very pleased to have new test subjects and hope they may pass with flying colors."
"What the heck was that?!" Eddy asked as one of the many doors surrounding the room opened up.
"It's the disembodied she voice from the planet-"
"Shut it, Ed!" Eddy interrupted.
"Please proceed to the testing preparation center. Cake will be served after-"
"Cake!"
"Shut up, Ed!"
"-and we are all as excited as you are to pass."
Without anything but cake in his mind, Ed grabbed Eddy and ran into the room ahead. The door closed abruptly behind the two as they entered and Ed stopped dead in his tracks.
"What the heck? This room's empty!" Eddy shouted as he freed himself from Ed's grip. The room was indeed empty; save for the dart gun mounted on the ceiling pointed at them.
"What a load of-" Eddy was cut off as he let out a sudden yelp.
"Eddy, what's wro-" Ed too stopped when the dart hit the back of his neck. Eddy fell to the ground and lost consciousness while Ed stumbled around in the room.
"Eddy, I-" he was once again cut off as another dart hit him square in the arm. After a few minutes of stumbling around dumbly, Ed finally fell face-first to the ground with a battalion of darts stuck in his backside.