Chapter 1
I wake up to the sound of gentle snoring. It's how I know i'm in my own bed, and not some man's because even if I do fall asleep in some other mans bed they always disappear because they have somewhere very important to be early the next day. Men are very busy, I've come to learn.
So, some fair maiden lays beside me. Decided to rest up in my quarters for the night. Probably expects a good morning kiss and toast. And a proposal. Oh bugger, it's enough to send me back beneath the covers. But I have plans today, I remember. Regan (my best if slightly distrubed best friend) invited me to go "fishing". Which is code for girl hunting. You see, my friend Regan is a virgin. It's kind of embarrasing, actually. But in order to protect his self esteem, he's also under the impression that I am similarly handi-capped. So everyday he comes up with a new scheme to get us laid.
I dont really understand it. He's perfectly adorable. I'd do him if I didnt know that he used to eat paste and mud when we were kids. I guess he lacks confidence though, or he's not mature enough, yet. So he's always coming up with these schemes. Like fishing. Now he's got it in his head that fishing makes men look powerful and very fuckable and thus a sure-fire way to get laid. It's pretty hillarious actually, and probably more than half the reason I always end up tagging along.
So with this excuse in my mind, I very carefully slide out of bed, and pull my clothes on. I've just finished (attractively) shagging up my hair when the girl sits straight up and looks around with this horribly innocent and confused look on her face. She takes one look at me, her clothes, that happen to be not on her body but strewn randomly about the room, and practically vomits slash screams.
"Oh fuck it all I cant believe I did it! I drink one lousy smirnoff, take two hits off the pipe and here I am in Samuel Wickham's bed, the biggest asshat and deviant in the kingdom!" she moans, smacking her hand to her forehead.
"Uhhh...good morning" I reply. I cant really think of anything else to say, I mean thats a pretty involved introduction. I soppose I should be insulted but i'm in too good a mood. She definitly won't be asking for half my worldly possessions and a permanent place in my family, which is gift enough.
"Well...I have some things to be getting on with. You know, family stuff, breakfast. So if you wouldnt mind i'm going to head out..." I trail off, heading out the door.
The last thing I hear before I close it is her mumbling something about rude asshats. Like I said, all and all not a bad way to greet the day.
I soppose one thing I should establish is the fact that I happen to be royalty. The son of a duke, really, so not some jerk off Prince in a palace or anything. But Duke's still get pretty sweet digs, so I live in this hugish mansion in the really nice part of town, you see. And because of our familys station, we're entitled to some fifty or so servants thats are always squireling about and I pass by at least half of them on the way to the dining hall.
After walking about a mile, I finally arrive, just in time to slide into a seat and grab some capers, toast and tea. So I'm munching away all content and happy like when my Father, the Grand Duke Samuel Wickham the Second, has to check around the newspaper and see that I happen to be there. As in not somewhere else. Somewhere he cannot hassle me about my hair, my clothes or my lack of direction in life. Damn.
"Oh hello, Son. Fancy seeing you here at home. Did term in early for some strange reason? Did they invent a new holiday?" he begins, all sarcastic and snarky. You see, he loves doing this every day since I've dropped out of school for a few terms. It's the highlight of his day. Which is pretty sad considering I got kicked out like two months ago. But who am I to judge?
"Ah ha, as clever and amusing as ever, sir" I reply back, leaning back in my chair and brushing the crumbs from my lap. I then notice the unfamilar person sitting to the left of my snarky, sarcastic father. He has a soldiers uniform on and he seems very uncomfortable at the table, for he's sitting all stock still and frozen like. There is an untouched egg on his plate and a full cup of coffee sitting before him, and he's concentrating very hard at not looking at anyone in the eye, but at the same time not being really obvious about it.
That's soliders for you. There perfectly comfortable running around on horseback and killing things with swords and getting shot at, but one meal sitting besides some two-bit politician (who is easily bowled over by my mother and a few choice women on the cooking staff) and they go all intimidated. Doesn't really make any sense, except I have a theory they get all goosed out by the gold and jewlery and fine paintings and grandeous furniture. Shiny things, ya know?
Father must have noticed where I'd been looking for her turns to the soldier guys and introduces him, "This is Seargent Dean Winchester, a dedicated and exceptional young man in our Royal army."
The Seargent looks up, blushing slightly which off sets a set of rather adorable freckles. In fact, now that he's looking up I notice he happens to be like...really hot. Like I said, freckles, gorgeous green eyes, and fine but firm features. Like, he's kind of even pretty but in a I-can-kick-your-ass-so-hard-it'd -be-sad kind of way. I can't see what his bod looks like cause he's sitting down and the uniform isnt eactly closefitting but I was born with a pretty good imagination.
Anyway, so he's sitting there looking all embarrased and my Dad's sitting there looking all proud of myself like I'm gonna jump up and say, "You know what, pop's? You're absolutely right! This fine specimen of a creature has turned me straight and I cant wait to run back to school, finish my goddamned education and become a fine fuck up, just like you!" Like I said, he can be a real smug bastard when he wants to be. And people like me like to fuck with smug bastards, usually.
I jump up out of my chair, standing at attention and then I vigorously salute them both about a zillion times. I notice with satisfaction that I earn an amused half smile from the hot soldier and a frown from the father. I turn to leave when my snarky sarcastic two bit poltician fuck up of father barks at me
"Samuel Thomas Wickham the Third, you stop right there!"
Aww fuck me. As I slowly turn around to face him, I notice he's looking to the Portrait of his father, Snarky sarcastic two-bit politician the first. Which means he's really rearing it up for a good and long lecture, which will mean I'll have to stand there like an idiot while he says meaningless phrases at me like "it's about the attitude you have on life, son!" and "You have to jump on the ball, now, or you never will"(because he's inspirational and clever like that). And in front of the hot Sergant! Oh God why don't you just shove a pineapple up my ass, it'd be less painful.
Just then I notice that my dearly beloved sister Anastasia happens to be at the table. She has that ability to sit down and read at the table and haul into herself and make like shes not even there. I swear to god it's creepy but in a kind of awesome sort of way.
"Daddy..." she begins, all saccharine and goodly, two things my father is the most succeptable, sadly enough, "You forgot to take your heart medication, again." This sends him silent, and as he stares guitily at his plate, totally distracted from any preemtive lecturing. Did I mention how much I love my dearest sister Anastasia? She's like three years older than me, and thus much more adjusted to the on-going battle against our parents. She has some real finese, that girl.
While my father fumbles around for his cod and fish liver oil, or whatever the hell it is he takes, my sister follows me out of the room. Once past the french doors, we are free and she links her arm with mine as we follow the cooridor out to the main foyer. Yes, because Dukes need more than one foyer and therefore need termonology like "the main foyer". It's enough to make you sick sometimes, but home sweet home, right?
"I noticed a certain lady friend leaving out a certain servant's entrace this morning, dear brother" she says, smiling, "a certain lady friend who happens to be the younger sister of a dear friend of mine. Apperantly I'm sopposed to tell you off or some such shite but clearly it is too nice a day outside."
And it is indeed, once we are out onto the main gardens the sun is just as the right angle in the sky to be nice and warm, yet the grounds still look all crips and fresh and green.
"You know how it is....crazy partys and lots of alcohol equals great fun" I reply, carefully evaluating her face. She says she finds my lifestyle amusing but sometimes I think she's worried about me. I have no idea why, but that's sister's for you.
"So, what are the plans today?" She asks brighly.
"Regan and his on-going quest to turn in his V-Card continues, this time we are to--"
"Oh crunchgumbies! No no, have you forgotten? It's my birthday today and you promised me that you would peruse the city with me, remember you fiend?!" she interupts, pulling her eyebrows together in a look of mock disgust.
"No...your birthday is next month, what are you even talking about?" I reply, questiioningly.
"Oh right, jesus any other man on this planet and that would have totally worked on. You really must be gay." she laughs, "Well...i need you today, kay Sam? So give Regan a rain check for me and I will personally ensure that he will turn in his virginity, and we can hang out together, kay?"
"Ummm..sure. But what happened?" I say, my voice tinged with concern.
"Nothing! Jeeze does something have to happen for us to hang out?"
"I guess not..." I'm still filled with doubt, though.
"Okay fabulas. I'm kidnapping you and were going to spend the day shopping and eating and drinking and generally making a disgrace of the family," she reassures, smiling. She then sets off at a purposeful pace across the garden, to the main Barn where all the really expensive cars and motorcycles are kept. Like I said, Duke's got paid.
….....................................................................
So it's like sixteen billion hours later, and were sitting down at the bar of some shitty little place, where the "beers are cold and the women are hot" as the sign proclaims all though to be honest it seems like the their refrigerator hasnt worked since 1978 and the women are luke warm at best. It's dark and crowded, with people hanging all over eachother and the music is vaguely disorientating. Which makes sense I guess, people go to places like these to BECOME disorientated. At least in a place like this, I mean the only way to voluntarily exist in this place is to be disorientated. Thats the point..
I'm not really sure why were here, actually. Ana's had this weird tick all day, like she keeps on expecting something to happen thats important. I would have been perfectly fine heading back home and chatting up some new aquantances and potentially new prospects but no we just HAD to stop and take a look inside and isn't is just too adorable, all tiny and cosy inside? My sister never says words like "adorable" and "cosy". She has a vague disgust for things that are "adorable" and cosy". So I'm not really sure where this is going. But like I said, whatever.
So we sit there for like ten minutes, akwardly sipping our high class drinks, only the best for Dukes right, and after the third girl's hand happens to "accidentally" grope my ass and the guy whose like leering at me like a fucking child molester in the corner, I've decidely had enough. I pull the carton of ciggarettes from my pocket as way as an excuse to step outside and maybe hale a cab, because my sisters gripping the keys like she's about to knife anyone who'll come near her, but only in the most nonthreatening and casual way of course, when the door opens and a blast of cold air shoots in.
And to my surprise and shock in walks Mr. Seargent Dean Winchester, who happens to be a exceptional and dedicated young man in the royal Army and since when do exceptional and dedicated young men have to do with being in such shady establishments as this? I am curious to say the least and it's enough to send me back to my bar stool, where I swivel back to facing the bar and cock my head in such a way that it looks like I'm insanely drunk and also allows for a perfect view of Seargent from the bar mirror. I've noticed with satisfaction that the child molester in the corner has now turned his attention to the Seargent, which is nice because it was getting kinda cold, what with drafty doors and sweating all over myself, and it would be nice to get some clothes back before he striped them all off with his eyes, thanks.
I turn back to the seargent and watch as he proceeds across the room, when I notice he has a youngish girl in tow. She's gripping tightly to his hand so I guess our young Seargent has a girlfriend. Which makes me sad in a much more profound way then it should, so I shake these thoughts away. As he manuvers around the room he finally steps out of view out of the room. I'm kind of depressed now, because even tight ass Seargent Dean Winchester has a girlfriend and I'm feeling kind of lonely because I've never dated anone for more than a few days at a time. Maybe if I actually did settle down for like a few months, like everyone keeps on telling me, I'd earn some respect and dignity. Maybe I should call up one of those girls I've ruthelessly screwed and then pretended no longer existed and do a sort of trial run, the least I can do is introduce her to the 'rents. Maybe hit up a few places. Get a cute little house and a white picket fence and the 2.5 children and the tire swing and the grocery store....
Ana interupts my thoughts by jerking my arm. I turn towards her and she's sitting there with the Seargent sitting beside her and his lady standing there akwardly beside them. Where the fuck did they come from?
"Sam, this is Dean and his little sister...."
"Harmony" the girl supplys, her face brightening.
"Harmony" my sister repeats. "So Dean and Harmony are in town for a few days and I figured as was my place as the Grand Dukes daughter, that we'd offer to show them around to the best digs."
"This "cozy" "adorable" shithole is considered one of the best digs?" I reply incredulously. Alright, to each his own.
So forty high balls later, we sit around for what seems like another sixteen million hours but I dont really mind. Harmony is pretty cute, in that insipid clueless sort of way, and Dean isnt half bad either and I'm just settling into what could be a descent drunken stupor when Ana whispers into my ear,
"Bet you I can get Dean into my bed faster than you can" her face is all pretty with the blush of liquor and her eyes shine in the the lights. I dont really deny her comment, Dean definitly seems to be the straight lover of women sort of guy, but it's late enough and I'm drunk enough to take her on.
For some weird reason, we decided that the bar was giving off the wrong vibes and we elect to head down the street to some floozy dance club. The place is all lit up and pretty, throbbing with rapidly beating music and strobe lights and we all pair up to jump onto the dance floor. I'm dancing with Harmony and twirling her around like a freaken human top and she's so pretty looking, all bright cheeked and shiny eyed and I get the sudden urge to do something crazy, like take her in my arms or get down on one knee. The world is spinning so fast and for some reason Harmony seems to be the only one who matters.
But then time shifts and Ana cuts in, probably senseing some crazy look in my eyes, and they start jiving away, laughing and gigling. I stand there for a second, smiling benevolently, like I'm blessing them. Blessing their jiving like the goddamned pope, when I feel Dean slide his hand onto my wrist. I turn to him, and there he is all hot and adorable freckles and I feel the urge to just lick at every single one, just reach up and start licking at his nose because they look so delicious, like they should be nutmet or milk chocolate flavored.
I know were dancing now, he's settled one arm around my waiste and another clasps my hand lightly. His palms arent even sweaty on my sweat slick skin.
"I made a bet with my sister!" I tell him, shouting into his ear above the loud noises of the dance hall.
"What about?" he replys.
"Seducing you! I'm sopposed to make you fall in love with me over her you, and then I've won, you see!"
"Oh I see. So would kissing you right now mean you won the bet?"
I make like I'm really contemplating hard for a second, "Something like that" I smile.
His lips are firm and soft on mine, and he nips at my bottom lip, requesting entrance. Normally I dont kiss guys but his lips and his strong arms feels so good, enveloping me in a hot and sexy cucoon. I sense people staring, but I dont really care. Ana's shaking her head, but in a good natured "good job, sport!" sort of way and Harmony is gigling ridiculasly behind her upturned palm, like she's so happy that were here and that she's here, just for a second in the universe. I am totally on her same wavelength
He's tugging at my arm towards the exit for some post-dance-off fucking probably, and I feel like the luckiest boy in the world. The last thing I remember is Ana and Harmony waving goodbye at us as they spin across the dance floor.