The main characters don't belong to me but to the creators of CSI NY tv series. But Maria Kostopoulos is totally mine! And Dr. Irene Samaras too.

Thanks to Lily Moonlight for her help with the translation, again and again.

I Can't Say Goodbye

Chapter 16

Mac Taylor's mind had been blocked. He couldn't help but look at that image of a little person in a soft almost orange colour who seemed to be smiling, her hands, with five perfect little fingers on each, resting on her chest.. Baby Taylor, he repeated to himself. Baby Taylor…

He didn't know how long he remained in that state, if it was four or forty minutes. Finally, all he could think about doing was to return to the photo gallery of the U.S. Embassy in Athens and find more pictures of Stella. He was especially interested in the full-length ones. And there were some more. In full-face, in profile... There was no doubt, Stella was pregnant, and she showed a lot. He looked at the ultrasound image again. 24 weeks, which was six months. It couldn't be otherwise, six months had gone exactly since they had been together, when, apparently, they had created this gorgeous Baby Taylor, his daughter. Mac seemed to wake up suddenly, smiling at the thought that he assumed she was a girl. The little girl in that dream he had the same night the baby was conceived, he thought.

A mind trained to collect disparate data, fit them together and deduce how the facts happened, couldn't go blank in that way for long. After the initial shock, a feeling of indignation began to grow in Mac. How did Stella dare to keep secret that she was having a child, that she was having his child? Why on earth hadn't she told him? He was the father, for God's sake. After her, he should have been the first one to know it. Why had she moved away, just when she was pregnant? As bad as the relationship between them was, and he believed that in the last three months of exchanging messages things had been fixed, she shouldn't have concealed that from him, it was unforgivable... Then he remembered the first message from Stella, which he knew by heart

I would like to be by your side so we could talk. There is something very important I have to tell you, but I don't want to do it without being able to look into your eyes. In a few months I'll be back and I will have the opportunity to tell you, I just hope you don't decide then that I waited too long and that nothing coming from me interests you any more...

And ended with

I love you, Mac, with all my soul. I always will, come what may.

Now he understood what she meant. He began to calm down as his mind started to work again and seemed to reason clearly. Let's see, Mac, she left immediately after... well, after their one night together. A woman learns she is pregnant when... almost a month after, right? She notices it when the following menstruation does not occur, and she has to wait normally some days to confirm it... one or two weeks? Mac didn't have that very clear. So, by the time Stella would have known about her pregnancy, she was already inAthens, engrossed in whatever she was doing there -and after she told him, it required total dedication, which didn't allow her to travel. Suddenly, she found herself in such a situation, unable to return... and what could she have done, tell him by phone, or email?

I don't want to do it without being able to look into your eyes, she had written. He could almost understand her, if it didn't hurt him so much to be missing something so important. Why didn't she ask him to go meet her there? Perhaps she didn't want him to repeat his first trip toGreece, with the same anguish of not knowing what happened to her and if she was again at risk... He was now asking himself the questions and answering them, trying to put himself in Stella's place. He also remembered what he had responded to that first message, to which now he had discovered the key. He had to be able to keep his words.

Everything coming from you interests me, and I will always care about, and nothing you have to say will overcome the last sentence of your message. Nothing could happen to change that.

S'agapó, agapi mou (*)

S'agapó, of course I love you...

Despite being sad for not sharing those first months of her pregnancy, he did love her. Of course he did. She had to have gone alone to the doctor, and seen the scans without having him at her side to hold hands and share the excitement, and then the emotion... Mac felt the tickling of tears in his eyes, while his smile widened as he looked again the ultrasound image.

It was time to go into action. New Orleans could wait, after all, it wasn't immediate. Stella would tell him personally, or so he hoped. But he wasn't going to wait until Christmas for Stella's return to New York. Not at all, he had already lost enough time. He had to do something to know what was missing, where exactly he could find Stella, because he was going to go there. To Greece, again. He smiled, encouraged.

Adam passed right in front of Mac's office, and he gestured to him to enter. He came immediately. Mac got up from his chair and asked him to come closer.

"Close the door, please. I want you to look at something on my computer... and you'll keep your mouth shut, right? Sit in my chair"

Adam sat down, still not knowing what to think. His eyebrows arched in surprise to see the ultrasound image.

"This is..." while starting to talk Adam saw the text box. Baby Taylor. Mother, Stella Bonasera. His eyebrows rose even more, eyes and mouth open...

"Yes, it's exactly what it seems. Now, I want to locate where it came from, and to obtain all the information possible. I want above all to find Stella's address."

"So, you knew nothing about it? But this... this..." He pointed the screen. "You... you did it... I mean, you were..."

"Don't call her this. This is a baby. And yes, of course, we did it. But for the moment keep it quiet, OK? I have received the image in an email, I suspect that it had been by mistake, but let's see if you can get what I want. Can you do it from here?"

"I hope so." Now Adam was watching another open window, with a half-length picture of Stella in profile. He whistled. "Wow... she's pregnant. So... Congratulations, boss". He reached out to Mac, who couldn't help but smile and shake hands.

"Can you locate the source of that message? It comes from a Dr. Samaras, in Athens."

Adam was typing at full speed from the original email received by Mac. This time he wanted to recoup all previous attempts that had blocked their way into a high security server. Soon he found the IP's computer source. Within minutes he was trying to circumvent the password of the private network to which that equipment belonged.

"It will help us to have the file number in the text box of the ultrasound, I don't think that each of the documents related to Stella after her inclusion in the high security system are classified, but if we can't access by her name, we'll probably achieve it by the file number. Anyway, boss, entering into the database system from a medical practice is illegal... We know that, right?"

"To my knowledge, we are here looking at an ultrasound image of my future daughter that has been sent to my email... Nothing more"

Adam looked at him with a smile.

"Daughter? It's only marked Baby Taylor there. Do you know something I don't know?"

"I know many things you don't know, Adam" Mac was now joking. "But no, I've only the intuition that she is a girl, nothing more. It doesn't matter, in fact. If he's a boy I will be happy too."

Adam was typing again, and, suddenly, a smile lit his face. At last! He was on the access page to the files... Fortunately, though it was in Greek, the original form was standard and Adam knew where to include the data file number to access the patient information. Watching Adam's skill, Mac admired his young subordinate. As if by magic, they had on screen the front page of Stella Bonasera's medical history, in the practice of Dr. Samaras, fortunately in English. It included the name, address, phone, e-mail and next of kin. And there Mac saw his own name, and his email address in the line under Stella's. He understood immediately that it was more than likely what he suspected, that whoever had sent the ultrasound image had done it by mistake.

Adam got up, his part was done, the rest of the information didn't concern him, and it was better to leave Mac alone to freely consult or not the rest of the data.

"Thank you, Adam. I owe you one"

"You're welcome, boss. We've only seen an ultrasound of a baby that someone has sent by mistake. A beautiful baby, by the way."

Mac laughed, saying, "Thanks anyway" to him.

Mac moved back to his computer. He made a note of Stella's address and telephone number in Athens. He went on to the next page. It was the first medical record Dr. Samaras had done. For a moment, he had doubts about whether it was ethical or not to read that data. Hell, he should have been there, they were his wife-to-be and daughter. He smiled to himself at that thought. His wife... it sounded good. He was reaffirmed in his mind when he saw that the top was occupied by Stella medical data, height, weight, blood type, diseases... and at the bottom, under the title "Father", there were his data. Mac Taylor's measuring, weighing and medical history, summarized in a few lines... Stella knew all that from him?

Okay, so this was also partly his own medical form, which legitimized him to keep looking. The next page was referred to the medical examination in the first consultation. The doctor had written some funny comments. As far, she didn't know she was pregnant! and She knows the exact date of conception! Mac's smile became much larger, the consultation had taken place in early September... Just three days after Stella sent him her first message, probably when she realized she was pregnant. There were some attached files, and opening the first one Mac's heart was overwhelmed. It was the recorded sequence of the first scan, sound included. The foetal heartbeat was perfectly audible. When he returned to the page, he read the statements made. The measure, with the adjective "great." In the section of the baby's sex the doctor had noted "The mother doesn't want to know yet" and then in brackets (Female, confirm next ultrasound scan). Mac raised a triumphant fist in the air, exclaiming "Yes!" Then he watched out, looking if anyone had seen him. Fortunately not. Instead, he didn't want anyone though that something strange was happening, with such display of joy, completely unusual from Mac Taylor in recent times.

A little girl! He returned to the image that had given rise to all this torrent of information. His little baby girl with her round cheeks, seemed to smile. If it wouldn't be foolish, he had assured that she looked like him!

Looking at his daughter's image, he didn't have a doubt about what he had to do. And he would set in motion today. He was two trips ahead, the first one shorter than the second, to Greece, which he expected would provide him happiness for the rest of his life.

(*) "S'agapó, Agapi mou" means "I love you, my love" in Greek

To be continued...