(Ladies, Gentlemen, and all that other stuff I listed in my profile. Bear with me.
In this chapter, I introduce a character that I know is going to be met with resistance from the general public, and I KNOW this because of a review or two I received in the past. My comments on the matter will be at the end of the chapter. I ask that your final judgment be postponed until at least after you've read that. Consideration is appreciated.
Now, without any more fetal position on my part, I present you with the next chapter.
Anything that has a copyright is copyrighted to their respective owners. The only difference is now there's something else to disclaim.)
Oathkeeper
Chapter Eleven: Crashing The Tea Party
"A mercenary?" Asked a cerain pirate, sceptical that such a decision was wise. One, however, did not insinuate such about the dark queen Maleficent however, if one valued his life.
"Of a sort. He will help us, provided we help him. A simple bargain, simply upheld."
"That all depends on what he's after." Another figure asked, tall, lanky, and carrying a staff of some sort. "And whether or not it's worth it. Has he proven himself to be better then a common street rat?" Jafar chose his words carefully, Maleficent noticed. And she was pleased to note that the man wasn't fearful. He simply did not want to see her angered.
"What he asks is something quite managable. And I can say he is quite strong indeed." Stronger then you, a nasty little voice berated her in the back of her head. However, such strength was of no conciquence if the person in question was easily controled, she reminded herself. And manipulation was something she excelled at.
"What is such a warrior after?" Ursula asked, lounging in the corner. "What would we give him that he would want badly enough to take orders?"
"Information, of course." Maleficent said. "He wishes the whereabouts of a boy. He noticed the heartless would be quite valuable in such a search, so we struck a deal. His talents will make capturing the remaining princesses a mere game."
"So what? We tell this guy where to find the kid, and he goes off and leaves? Do we have to tell him right away? I mean, come on, if we're scratching this guy's back, best we milk the deal for all it's worth, am I right?" This speaker was suposedly a god of some sort, though outside of his world, he held no such power. He was an odd kind, attempting to style hair that appeared to be made up of nothing but blue fire.
"The deal was that as soon as I knew the boy's whereabouts, I would let him know. It wouldn't do well to back out of my word, now would it? Besides, he brought with him the locations of three princesses. When given results like these, rewards are not out of the question."
"Three?! It took us a year and a half to get the the one, how did he know?!" Captain Hook seethed, feeling more then a little outdone by some up-start.
"His organization came across them while they were searching for the boy. However, we now know where to strike, and I have already promised him his payment. I merely bring him before you now as a formality."
"Well, bring the boy in then. Might as well see what we've purchased." Jafar said, beginning to look curious. Maleficent smiled, and turned to the doorway. As if summoned, a young man walked in wearing a curious black cloak, embroidered with what appeared to be clouds. A high collar hid anything of his face below his eyes. Said eyes were black as coal. He said nothing, and the other occupants of the room paused as if they expected him to talk.
"Well, speak up you codfish you. Do you have a name?" The good captain said, waising an eyebrow at the silent figure.
"Itachi Uchiha." He stated in a monotone, turning his head towards the pirate. As he did, the light flashed off a metal plate he wore across his forehead, and the deep strike through it's middle. He slowly surveyed the others, as if waiting for any further questions. They all looked as if they had several things to ask, but the mysterious Itachi's presence seemed to silence them. He didn't seem to find the fact that any one of them could hear a pin drop awkward at all, merely turning to Maleficent, nodding, and seeing himself out. None could find words to speak right away, until...
"Maleficent, he seemed an odd one. Do you believe he can be trusted?" Jafar asked, suspicious.
"I believe he isn't the type to deal with nonsense if he can avoid it. And his information was sound. All three girls are now under survelience. He has nothing to gain by betraying us, so I believe we are safe of that particular senario."
"What will he do if we can't deliver?"
"He asked us for information, not a delivery. The universe is vast, and I can only send heartless so far. I made sure he knew, his expectations will not be high."
"That's great, 'cause something just isn't right with that kid. He was looking at us like his eyes were lethal weapons or something!" Maleficent quietly laughed to herself, as she remembered the unfortunate victim of Itachi's 'demonstration'.
"If they are, take care you do not provoke their use..."
--
"Stupid cat, stupid cryptic messages, stupid forest, stupid world changing for no good reason, stupid no sun again, stupid-"
"Sora, we know how stupid all of those things are, and would appreciate it very much if you stopped telling us."
"You didn't stop until just a half hour ago."
"That is completely beside the point."
"Hey, Sora, do ya think ya should spin the Keyblade again?" Goofy asked, playing on the possibility that they somehow deviated from the path. Entirely possible, since every tree and rock looked like the ones they may or may not have passed thirty times and counting...
"Actually, why did you spin the Keyblade?" Donald asked. "Following your heart, and relying on chance are two different things. At least, I'm sure the cat meant them as two different things..."
"I was following my heart."
"Your heart tells you to gamble?"
"My heart pointed this way, after it stopped spinning." A pause.
"Sora, that sword, despite it's aparent affinity towards hearts, is not a heart itself."
"Actually, it is. When I use the Keyblade, I lose one of my hearts."
"You cannot possibly have several." The duck deadpanned in responce. Such a thing was unheard of after all.
"No, I don't. Only two."
"... Explain."
"Sure. I don't think we're getting anywhere anyway... It started when Leon taught me how to find my heart..."
--
"Oh, I say there, would you mind passing the sugar?" The Mad Hatter inquired to his good friend, the March Hare.
"But of course, but which sugar would you like? There seem to be several, some more energetic then others. Choose carefully friend." The March Hare answered his friendly chum, the Mad Hatter.
"I'm in the mood for something with a little kick..." That generally meant that the Hatter was leaning toward one of the sugar jars that were harder to catch. Thirteen jars on the table relaxed visably. Five others prepared to bolt. The March Hare was merciless in the chase, this much was common knowledge.
"Well, they seem to know we're talking about them, no sense in the element of suprise anymore."
"In that case, the far left if you please. I do so like the color green..." A second later, the Hare was upon the emerald shaded jar, preparing to scoop and hurl sugar across to his companion. The jar would not go down without a fight however. Seizing it's lid-hat in one arm, it grabbed a fork out of a nearby cake with the other. Armed with shield and spear, it faced down the Hare with suprising ferocity coming from a lowly sugar jar. What ensued was the greatest battle ever told of between a woodland creature, and a peice of tableware (saying nothing about how rare those instances were). At least, it would've been a great battle, had an uninvited guest not intruded out of virtually nowhere. Rather rude not to announce itself after such an enterence either, the Hare noted. Perhaps though, The Mad Hatter invited the little black thing? Or his friends entering in the same fashion?
"Oh Hatter? Are these your guests emerging out of the ground? Such a lovely yellow in their eyes, I must say."
--
"...And then, Leon came storming out of his room, a pair of those pink lacy boxers in his hand, and Yuffie still managed to play innocent! I would've laughed for sure!" After explaining the heart thing, and the Keyblade thing, all that really remained was to talk about other things to pass the time.
"That friend of yours certainly has a mischevious streak..."
"She sure does! I've still got to learn how to walk on the ceiling..."
"That sure sounds like it would be use- oof!" Goofy had just walked into Sora, who stopped short for no apparent reason.
"Sora? What's the hold up?" Donald asked, looking back at the boy, who was wearing such a shocked expression... What could possibly have caused it?
"...They're here..."
--
"Such rude guests!" The Hatter noted, beating one back with a large green (his favorite shade) hat. The headwear was suprisingly sturdy, and seemed to work knocking a few back that were eying him like a peice of meat.
"Indeed they are. And they seem rather relentless too, what do you suppose they're after?"
"Personally, I couldn't imagine." The Hatter said, doing an exagerated shrug, before noting with a sense of alarm that one fo the inky creatures was in the Hare's blind spot, that being directly behind him. "Look ou-!" But the warning was cut off by the battle cry of a boy who leapt over his head to bring down a sword on the creatures head, banishing it instantly. Everything froze as the unnamed boy stood between the two defenders, and eight other creatures. All attention was off the Hatter and Hare, and instead was focused vacently on the boy, who moved into a practiced stance, and appeared to be steeling himself for a brawl.
Sora was glad he arrived in time. Neither of the figures behind him appeared hurt at all, though a darker side of him noted, there may have been more then two a little while ago...
'Now's not the time.' No, it wasn't. He needed to focus...
"Sora! Wait up!" Sora took his eyes off the heartless for a second, and that second was all it took for one to get over-eager and attack. Sora swung in an attempt to cut it down, but was interupted as a garbled voice shouted a magical word of command.
"Thundara!" A bolt of lightning fell from virtually nowhere, and the heartless was no more. Two more leapt forward, and Sora didn't get a chance at either of these either.
Clang! The loud noise resounded off the shield that Goofy had blocked the heartless with, and with a grunt, he responded by thrusting the shield forward into one of the dazed creatures. Sora quickly learned that Goofy's strength was not something to be underestimated, despite his lack of obvious muscles on a lanky frame, as the heartless flew backwards as if the smiting blow was instead the blast of a cannon. The second was then crushed under the shield that the knight brought down on it's head.
"Sora! Don't go running off like that!" Donald yelled, before yelling 'Fira!' At another jumping towards the boy.
"We've gotta keep you safe after all! Promised Leon an' all."
"And he's got the key!"
"Oh, right. That too."
"Sorry!" Sora yelled back a the two, while impailing another heartless about to attack his leg. While this was going on, both the Hatter and the Hare were watching the battle from a safe distance, while munching popcorn out of the questionably full hat. Even the Hare didn't particularily know where his friend had aquired it.
"Alright, who's next?!"
"No one. They're all gone." Donald said.
"Oh. That's good." Sora said, sheathing the Keyblade in a flash of light.
"That was indeed good! That trumps the Hare fighting the sugar jar anyday! Oh, no offence meant of course."
"But of course, friend. Say, who were those rude guests anyway? You vanquished them back into the unknown abyss, do you know?" The March Hare asked to the three new intruders.
"Uh..."
"Those were heartless. You've never heard of them?"
"Oh, heartless. Yes, we've quite heard of them. This is just our first time encountering them, that's all!"
"I see... that's... unusual..." Donald mused. Normally heartless were indiscriminate about their targets. With the exception of the Keyblader, who was now surveying the suroundings. A small forest clearing, lit up with several candles and a long table with more teapots and things of that nature then he could count.
"Well, if those were heartless, then I consider my heart very saved indeed! Wouldn't you agree my good Hatter?"
"Quite so! Please, if you would sit down for tea? I'm sure you're at least somewhat tired after fending off the rabid demons of the dark unknown." Goofy and Sora both looked to Donald expectedly. It was obvious they wanted very much to rest. Donald considered it.
"Well, you do seem to be hospitable people with good intentions and happy dispositions."
"You could say deliriously happy dispositions!" The March Hare supplied.
"Actually, you probably could."
"Thank you ever so much."
"You're welcome... I suppose there wouldn't be any harm in sitting down for a cup."
"There's never any harm! Unless there's another place nearby where it would be fortuitous to go be generally heroic."
--
"You are under arrest for attempted assassination of the Queen for her heart!"
"Wait, what sort of charge is that?! What Queen?! What would I want with her heart?!"
"Those are for the Judge to know! Because he'll be asking you! And... you will then... answer...?"
"Quiet Gabe. You, come with us."
"Help!"
--
"...No?"
"Well then sit and relax! You'll live that much longer!"
"How do ya figure?" Goofy asked, selecting a seat next to Sora's.
"Our tea is very good for you."
"I see..."
"One lump or two? And your names, if you please."
"Donald. No sugar please."
"Goofy. Just one please."
"I'm Sora. Could I have two please?"
"Of course you can. I am the Mad Hatter, though I haven't the foggiest as to why I'm called such. I can't remember ever being angry. Ever. Oh, would you like to introduce yourself? It's no trouble for me."
"No trouble at all for me either friend. I am the March Hare. I have no idea as to why I have that name either. On the other hand, me and the Hatter have identical initials. Fortunate, no?"
"I guess so..." Sora agreed, taking his first sip of the best tea he had ever tasted ever. Though he didn't have a large palette of teas, it was easy to recognise quality when it was screaming in your ear while beating you bloody with an aluminum bat. This was very good tea.
"Oh, Sora, compared to your companions, you look positively gloomy. Tell me, would you mind if I asked you a personal question?"
"Uh... I guess...?"
"When is your birthday?"
"April fourth."
"That isn't today! This is wonderful, do you hear?! Wonderful I tell you!" The Hare was almost throttling Sora he was so excited.
"Ah! Why is it wonderful?! Whoa!"
"It's your unbirthday! We simply must throw you a party, post haste!"
"What's an unbirthday?" Goofy asked. "I don't think I've ever heard of one of those." Donald appeared confused as well, though he thought it was good sense to keep his beak shut. The Sora shaking stopped rather abrubtly.
"You mean to tell me that the three of you have not only never had an unbirthday, but never heard of them?!" The Mad Hatter was horrified. The three newcommers could do naught but dumbly nod their heads in an afirmative.
"This is inconcievable!" The Hare yelled, starting to shake Sora again.
"Normally we would explain the defination and godly majesty of unbirthdays in well rehearsed song and beautifully choreographed dance , but we have not the time! We have to cram three unbirthdays into one, so much to do, so little time!"
"To put it simply, unbirthdays are every single day of the year that you aren't having a birthday."
"... Wow. There's a lot of those." Donald said, more to himself.
"Why else would we be so happy! There'll be another tomorrow! And the day after that! And the week after that! It's unbelivably unbelivable!"
"Three at once... this has never before been attempted in the history of unbirthdays. Are you ready, comrade?"
"I am indeed. Ready the dancing mice, fireworks, foreign cheeses, fighting robots, and the tunnel mobile!"
"The tunnel mobile?!"
"Yes! We are taking these unbirthdays to the center of the world!" Sora's brain had by now shut down all but the most essential functions. This was either going to be the greatest party ever... or they were all going to be burtally killed.
"I... can't wait...?"
(To anyone still reading, or anyone who scrolled down to the bottom mentally demanding an explanation.
Ok. Itachi... where to begin...?
Personally, I think Naruto, the anime that is, could be so much better written. However, it remains that not ALL the characters are horrible. Itachi presents an element to the story that I think works well. He's a mentally unstable wild card with Sephiroth level strength, and a kind of magic that Merlin has never even heard of. He is important to my storyline, and I did NOT just add him because I think he's badass, sexy, in need of an intervention involving an original character involving Itachi gaining a new outlook on life and having hours upon hours of unprotected sex, or anything LIKE that. I added him, because I think he can contribute to the plot I have in mind.
If it's any consolation to anyone not convinced, I promise that Naruto will never make an appearance in any of my work. I'd make a blood oath, but none of you can see me cut myself for said oath so... my word is all you have.
Now, in the next exciting installment of OATHKEEPER. Donald and Goofy kick more ass, Sora finds out what the center of the earth looks like, and Alice is found... completely innocent? HAH! I don't THINK so!)