The main characters don't belong to me but to the creators of CSI NY tv series. But Maria Kostopoulos is totally mine! And Dr. Irene Samaras too.

Thanks to Lily Moonlight, as always, for helping me with the English version.

From Spain, to all of you... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I Can't Say Goodbye

Chapter 19

The day before Thanksgiving turned out to be a boring and sad day for Stella. Sad because she couldn't prevent her mind returning to the happy memories of the two previous years, and compared to them, her present loneliness was even more evident. Boring because it was a week of impasse at the Embassy, with the activity reduced to a minimum. Greece continued its normal rhythm, vital and rushed, but for the Americans it was the great family week and almost all the young staff of the embassy had returned home to keep up the tradition and spend Thanksgiving Day with their families. For some of them, it was an opportunity they had only once a year to be with family. In Stella's department she was the only one staying, and she had gone back to her house, all the long weekend ahead of her, free of work and obligations. With a sigh, she thought it was going to be a very long weekend indeed. She had even been thinking about going to Chicago, crazy though the idea was... The thought had been enormously tempting, but then she thought about her baby's welfare and didn't consider it right to take the risk of a trip, thousands of miles in distance, only to return in a few days.

The day before she had received an e-mail from Mac.

I'm in Chicago, missing you. I know that if you don't come it's because you have some compelling reason, but my mother tells me that she will miss you terribly, and wants to tell you to take care of yourself , and that she's willing to embrace you...

When she read Mac's text, it brought tears to her eyes. The fact that Mac's mother accepted her was very important to Stella. In the three months passed since she had discovered she was pregnant, she had often wished she could talk to Millie and ask her things about the pregnancy and the physical changes she was experiencing... In short, things that she would have asked her mother, if alive. In recent days Stella was a bit concerned because although the baby was moving inside her, it was very soft, just a tingling, like a butterfly fluttering inside, not the kick that the baby was supposed to start giving at this stage of pregnancy. The doctor had reassured her, each baby has its rhythm... The time would come when the baby would crush ruthlessly her kidneys, bladder, stomach, but... Why didn't it kick yet?

Thank goodness she had Maria, after all. She wasn't a very educated person, but she was clever, she wasn't tied to the past or influenced by silly superstition. She insisted Stella on eating well, yes, but not in the sense of "eating for two" or anything, but taking a balanced diet, with the best natural products found in the market. Always attentive to what Dr. Samaras recommended, Maria was taking care of her with such devotion that Stella was amused. It would be hard when the time to leave arrived, and Stella didn't want to think about that. Would her life be a continual passing of people to love, but with no one who stayed definitely in it? Would she end up losing everyone she grew fond of?

Inside, Stella wore a light white blouse, which she had been forced to buy because she no longer fit into her clothes. The blouse went with pants, but at home she felt better with her legs free with the garment covering her mid-thigh, and ballet pumps to be comfortable. She considered herself enormous, but in truth, she hadn't gained a lot of weight, except on her belly, which formed a smooth but recognizable curve.

Maria had gone in the afternoon, after being sure she had eaten and rested afterwards. Stella had offered her a vacation for the rest of the week because she had nothing to do but staying at home, and she was perfectly able to cope alone, as she had done all her life before she met her, but Maria had rejected the offer. She said she would be bored all day alone, and taking care of Stella and her house wasn't laborious, but rather an entertainment for her. In addition, she was very well paid. She considered herself a very lucky woman.

Stella had politely turned down a couple of invitations to share dinner with some compatriots on Thanksgiving Day. The ambassador and his wife had insisted that she spend the day with them and their family. Stella knew it was a sincere offer, but she preferred not to accept. The ambassador's children and grandchildren had arrived during the week and Stella knew that although they all would welcome her with kindness, she was nothing more than an outsider in a family that didn't have many occasions to meet and share that intimacy, or that noise, or that unique joy which comes with meeting loved ones in exceptional and emotional times.

When that evening the door bell rang, Stella was surprised. Sometimes her friend Betty Connors visited her during her evening walk with her two months old baby girl, a happy, gorgeous and chubby baby called Helena, in honour of the country where she had been conceived and in which she was born. But the Connors had travelled to the United States for the grandparents to meet the new family member, so it couldn't be Betty, and if Maria had forgotten something she would use her own key to enter... Stella went to the door and looked cautiously through the peephole. All she could see was a white rose. Her heart skipped a beat as she opened it. She had to be dreaming, surely it wasn't possible...

Mac took a taxi and left the Athens airport towards Stella's home, whose address he knew thanks to Adam's skills. During the route, they had made a short stop, after some difficulties in communication with the taxi driver, who knew as much English as Mac knew Greek (and he didn't think "moro-mou" or "s'agapó" could be suitable in this case, except to win a punch in the nose). After a lot of sign language, the driver had understood that Mac was looking for a place to buy flowers, but when he saw Mac leave the shop with a single white rose in his hand, the driver thought he was a very stingy American, or very weird, or both.

The fact was that the taxi driver had left his passenger at the gate of a beautiful Mediterranean-style house with a lovely garden, with his bag and one rose in his hand. The driver was so curious that he lingered a bit to watch through the fence until Mac arrived at the front door and rang the bell. The driver wanted to see what kind of woman it was who would be happy with a single rose. And in spite of being meters away, he could not help but whistle softly when the door opened at last, and a beautiful woman with caramel-coloured curls and endless legs rushed into the arms of the "Man of the Rose".

Gee, if that gives such good results, he thought, he could try it. What if he took a rose to his wife, who was angry with him since he had left her alone on Sunday to go watch the football game at the bar with his friends? Probably his Katerina would beat him with the rose, she was very temperamental, but perhaps he should try and see what happened. At least, it will be cheap!

Mac had almost no time to react when the door opened and a mixture of curls, long legs and white cloth rushed towards him, embracing him as if her life depended on it. He dropped his bag and squeezed her even more against him, immediately feeling between them the bulge that their daughter occupied. For a few seconds, neither of them was able to speak, they just stood there, holding the other as if they feared that if they quit the moment would vanish to reveal that it had been a dream. But suddenly, someone else decided she had something to say. The baby kicked with such force that Mac felt it in his stomach. They parted with a gesture of surprise, while Stella put her hand on her belly. Mac grabbed her hand and kissed her, and she began to cry.

"This time you didn't miss it, Mac, this is the first kick of our child... Please don't blame me for the other things, for not telling you, I had no choice."

Mac recalled his mother's words: Reproaches, zero. He didn't need the advice, actually, now that he saw her. She looked so splendid carrying their daughter, that he didn't want anything could sadden their reunion.

"I can't blame you, I have a large share of blame for all this misunderstanding..." He hugged her again and this time his mouth settled on hers with such sweetness and eagerness that this time Stella's legs grew weak. When they finally entered, Stella took over the white rose, and she kissed it before placing it in a tall, narrow vase of glass placed over the fireplace. Mac was surprised at the beautiful house, but all his attention was on Stella. He hugged her again, and he felt once again his daughter's movements. They sat on the sofa, and Mac's hands went immediately to Stella's belly, caressing it. Looking into her eyes, he smiled and asked, as he didn't know...

"So, you said there was something you had to tell me when you could look into my eyes?

Stella laughed, placing her hand on Mac's one on her belly. She breathed deeply, and becoming serious said:

"Mac, we're having a child... something that makes me so happy that I can't express it in words. And now that you're here with me, much more so, because I... I love you, Mac Taylor."

"I love you too, Stella, more than my life. And I want to be a good father to this baby." While he spoke, he grabbed Stella's hand with one of his hands, while the other searched in his jacket pocket, pulling out and opening a small box in the sight of her. "And I want you to be my wife and start our family together." Stella gasped at the beautiful ring in the box. It wasn't very big or flashy, but it had a sleek design and a high quality diamond. "It's the ring my father gave my mother and my grandfather Taylor gave my grandmother before... But if you prefer, I can buy a new one."

Stella had taken the ring, excited.

"How could I prefer another one? Mac, this is an honor for me."

"Do you accept me, then, with all my stubbornness, despite being so obsolete, Mr. Rules-to-follow, a walking manual?"

"Mac, don't remember that... We said horrible things. Of course I accept you, if you accept me with all my past and whatever the future brings."

"The future is ours, and our little baby girl."

"Baby girl? Why do I have the feeling that all this doesn't catch you by surprise?"

"Another time, I'll tell you about a dream I had..." Mac changed the subject, as he took the ring and placed it on Stella's finger. "You know what my mother told me? She wanted you to take the ring because you're special to her, and she wants you to own something of hers, from the family, and she wants you to know that you belong to our family, to the people who love you and will never fail you."

Stella hugged him again and kissed him fiercely.

"I missed you at my side, everywhere, in my bed" This time it was Mac who kissed her, sliding his hand to her chest. Stella drew back a little, and he was frightened.

"Did I hurt you?"

Stella laughed softly.

"Not at all, Mac, it's just that... I feel as big as a whale."

"A whale? Noooo," he moved away a little, looking at her appreciatively. "A mermaid, I would say."

"Mermaid?" Stella laughed, "Manatee, maybe."

"Well, manatee, then. My beautiful manatee..." Stella hit him with her elbow in the ribs.

"Aghhh! So... How is manatees' love like?" His hand slid over Stella's breasts as he kissed her again. "Can they be sexually active even when they're pregnant?"

"They can, Mac, they can. I asked. Until a couple of weeks before delivery, they can..."

"Naughty girl..."

Stella got up, taking his hand on their way to her bedroom. She felt a little embarrassed about Mac seeing her naked, her body so changed because of the pregnancy. But her desire for him was higher than her shyness. She had longed so much for this moment...

To be continued...